Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

What makes great sex?

When do you know when you’ve had great sex? Valentine finds this a tricky question to answer since you can scream ‘I hate you!’ and still have great sex.

What’s great sex?

This is a great question! But it’s one that’s so difficult to answer. The truth is there is no right or wrong answer to this. Great sex is not always marked by orgasm, because we don’t always climax. It isn’t always about love and affection, because you can say ‘I hate you!’ and still have great sex with a person – just ask people about having sex with their exes. Anger can fuel a sexual encounter with extra passion, but then again, so can sadness and even grief after losing a loved one.

Personal choices

Different partners also bring out different aspects of our personalities. With some partners, we are very naughty and we want to do things such as have sex outdoors. With others, we can be very sensual and romantic, and the tenderness of that makes the sex amazing. With yet others, we talk dirty and barely manage to take each other’s our clothes off because we are in such a hurry.

Be attentive

If you are asking because you want to be a great lover then you have to be attentive to your partner.

Being tuned in to how your partner is feeling, and what kind of mood they are in, will give you a clue as to the kind of sex they would like to have.

Rough and quick? Slow and sensual? Playful and experimental? Sleepy and lazy? With whipped cream and sex toys? What about pornography? No one size fits all, and just aw with food, even when you have a favourite meal it doesn’t mean you want to eat it all day every day.

Great sex is highly subjective. In fact, the answer lies with you – so I would love to hear from other readers on their experiences of great sex.


Share with us. Is there something that you are always in the mood for? Something that must happen for you to rate the sex as good? Leave a comment below.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (43)

  1. It seems t get boosted with
    It seems t get boosted with alcohol…great feeling

    1. A bit of alcohol can indeed
      A bit of alcohol can indeed help with inhibitions. Too much alcohol, on the other hand, also isn’t great…

  2. It is not about the size or
    It is not about the size or face of anyone else but what i am saying when i do any sexual or love activity i assume and keep considering in my heart and mind that she is “my special some one” is in front of me and with me and doing sex with me but it is not anyone else.I yet think you might propabbly mot understood it

    1. Hi Faheem,

      Hi Faheem,
      no, that’s a really great approach! Amazing!

  3. it depends with how u take
    it depends with how u take each other

    1. Hi Faith,

      Hi Faith,
      that’s also very true! What do you think is most important?

  4. I thnk dat its suposd 2 b a
    I thnk dat its suposd 2 b a two way thng a mutual agreement explore ich otha 2mek it more enjoyable!

    1. Hi Shaniqua,

      Hi Shaniqua,
      you hit the nail on the head there- absolutely true!

  5. The state u are both of u
    The state u are both of u also depends,sex start with the mind the very thing that sets the sensual feelings.Sex done wita wrong person wont be driven long

  6. The state u are both of u
    The state u are both of u also depends,sex start with the mind the very thing that sets the sensual feelings.Sex done wita wrong person wont be driven long

    1. Hi Getflux,

      Hi Getflux,
      yup, you make a good point! Thanks for your input!

  7. YOUR CONFIDENTIALY STRENTH IN
    YOUR CONFIDENTIALY STRENTH IN TO UA LOVER

    1. Hi Valencia, thanks for your
      Hi Valencia, thanks for your input!

  8. Hi,

    Hi,
    I think to have great sex,you should be able to be very comfortable with your body and partner.
    You should be willing to learn and explore either by trying out new styles or watching a clip..
    i have great sex cause i tell my partner what we should do or how it should be done in a very polite manner and direct him on where to touch and i sell my facial expression to him when he is on point.
    sex is truly magical if done right..

    1. Thanks so much for sharing
      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts, Christine!

  9. the act of foreplay matters.
    the act of foreplay matters. Atleast 15 minutes of foreplay with the partners’ tongue locked each other is the best way.

    1. Hi Amar,

      Hi Amar,
      yep, foreplay is definitely important!

  10. Sex is a mental, with mental
    Sex is a mental, with mental I refer to the attitude or initial perception one arrives at before the act. during foreplay, one can tell yhe negatives of a partner mostly lady mates hence if watery, the attitude is a “Yak!” hence bad sex, if it is “dry slide” the attitude is “Yay!” hence great sex so attitude is the initial pinancle of a great or boring sex. Thanks!!

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  11. It’s about understanding your
    It’s about understanding your partner’s inner and outer self. Once you understand what your partner wants or feels, you are good to go.

    1. Thanks for your input, Senior
      Thanks for your input, Senior.

  12. i believe and i have seen it
    i believe and i have seen it work, good sex doesnt start under those sheets, its starts long before you both get into that bed, me n my partner starts naughty sexting way before we arrive in the house, and when we are there she is really at maximum perfomance

    1. Yep, we couldn’t agree more,
      Yep, we couldn’t agree more, Frank!

  13. 4a grt sex u all need to b
    4a grt sex u all need to b physcologicaly prep

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, David!

  14. great sex doesn’t start in
    great sex doesn’t start in the act but ends wth it.

  15. good sex starts by preparing
    good sex starts by preparing uaselvs psychology to get in the mood & knowin how to navigate around ua partners erogenous zones

    1. Yep, that’s a true point,
      Yep, that’s a true point, Nephat.

  16. It depends with the mood the
    It depends with the mood the two of you are in, both players should be +ve 2wards it not just doing it

    1. That’s a great point!
      That’s a great point!

  17. It c a 2way traffic, u
    It c a 2way traffic, u scrutch ma back as i scrutch urs an it c waaaw! Otherwise may lk like rape!

    1. That’s right, thanks for
      That’s right, thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  18. Sex depends on your mental
    Sex depends on your mental status both of you!

    1. That’s absolutely true!
      That’s absolutely true!

  19. ok i bliv in great sex coz it
    ok i bliv in great sex coz it relaxes da players&also makes prayers release stresses,adding2dhat it increases intimancy to real lovers.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kennedy.

  20. Sometimes we do hate for we
    Sometimes we do hate for we want,but we fear to be noticed that we want.

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Rasmaro.

  21. I think In order to have good
    I think In order to have good sex…the ones involved should first be familiar to each other…having sex with a stranger is imitation from movies…to add to that the partners should go step by step to bring the moods…touches and romantic words can also do…the partners should be in another world of moods from the current…let the partners get to miss sex for days so that they can long for each other very much…that way the partners will always find sex great

    1. Thanks so much for sharing
      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

  22. Hi..Safe days for women who
    Hi..Safe days for women who undergo regular monthly period is which one..Is it 7days or 14 days?

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