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© Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is my partner a virgin?

Many people think that you can tell whether someone is a virgin or not. However, this is a myth. The only way to know if someone is a virgin is by asking them!

If you do not trust their answer, then you might have bigger relationship problems. Trust is a key factor to a healthy and happy relationship.

Misconceptions

‘You can tell from a woman’s hymen whether she’s a virgin or not.’
Not even an experienced doctor can tell for sure if a woman is a virgin by looking at her hymen or vagina.

‘A man can feel if a woman is still a virgin.’
Men who say they can feel if a woman is a virgin don’t know what they’re talking about. If a doctor can hardly ever tell for sure whether a woman is a virgin or not, there’s no way a man could really be able to feel it.
During sex, a man can tell if a woman is tense. If a woman is nervous or scared, she unconsciously tenses her vagina. This makes the opening of the vagina feel tight.

How can I prove I’m a virgin?

You can’t really. Even for experienced doctors, it can be impossible to tell for sure whether or not a woman has had a penis in her vagina. But sometimes, for one reason or another, a woman’s prospective in-laws doubt that she’s a virgin. And some doctors don’t even mind selling ‘virginity certificates’. But while those certificates can save some trouble, they aren’t proof that someone is a virgin.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (115)

      1. Meaning there’s no virgin…
        Meaning there’s no virgin girl ever?

        1. Hey Walter, meaning tou can…
          Hey Walter, meaning you can’t tell if a girl is a virgin or not without asking her.

          1. Yes you cant tell
            Yes you cant tell

        2. There are am one of them
          There are am one of them

          1. Thank you for sharing…

            Thank you for sharing Elizabeth.

          2. How do I last longer in bed,…
            How do I last longer in bed, I ejaculate as soon as I get inside

          3. Hi Eric, 

            So sorry to hear…

            Hi Eric, 

            So sorry to hear about that. It could be that you have erectile problems. Read this article to learn about signs of an erectile problem: 4 signs of erectile dysfunction also read this one about the steps you can take: What to do if you have erectile dysfunction

            In the end, you need to visit a doctor for tests and treatment. Hoping you can get the help you need for a fulfilling sex life.  

    1. THE IS NOT AVILIABLA IN…
      THE IS NOT AVILIABLA IN HUMAN BENING

      1. Hi Ben, what is not…

        Hi Ben, what is not available?

    1. (No subject)
      Thank you Faruukk. We hope the information is useful too.

  1. How long can a lady bare the…
    How long can a lady bare the pain after her virginity is broke and do all ladies breed after the breaking of her virginity?

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Yvonne,

      First not all ladies will feel pain during the first time they have intercourse, one because they hymen which is the thick skin covering part of the vaginal opening may already have been stretched and also if she has been well prepared meaning the vagina is wet enough and she is relaxed, it makes penetration is easier and enjoyable for both partners. Many ladies will be ready to have sex again on the same occasion meaning they are able to move past what was the pain but if one is uncomfortable it is best to wait until they feel ready. Check the following article for more information;-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/virginity/busting-the-hymen-myth

      1. Hi John, 

        The best thing to…

        Hi John, 

        The best thing to do is to ask her. 

    1. (No subject)
      Thank you for your contribution Fey.

  2. And how can you tell if a…
    And how can you tell if a guy is a virgin?

    1. Hi Effie,…
      Hi Effie,

      You would have to rely on what he tells you. You cant tell any other way, infact even for a woman you really can’t tell i she is a virgin not even a doctor might.

    2. Wen she bleeds there u cn…
      Wen she bleeds there u cn tell

  3. So its not a must to bleed…
    So its not a must to bleed after breaking ua virginity

    1. Yes Sly, it is not a must…
      Yes Sly, it is not a must for one to bleed the first time they have sex.

    1. Thank you for your feedback.
      Thank you for your feedback.

  4. Does musturbation make…
    Does musturbation make someone loose interest in men?

  5. That’s fine thankz fr thi…
    That’s fine thankz fr thi teachings

    1. You are welcome Sookemma.
      You are welcome Sookemma.

  6. Am i still avagin if i…
    Am i still avagin if i mustabate??

  7. Wat Wil hapen wen a woman…
    Wat Wil hapen wen a woman plays sex wiz a man wen she is on her periods?

  8. why is my girl having pain…
    why is my girl having pain in her vagina every time we have sex

  9. Am i still a virgin even…
    Am i still a virgin even when am having an outercourse sex.

  10. When is on her periods, is…
    When is on her periods, is it safe to have sex with her? can she b pregnant?

  11. How will you know Aman is a…
    How will you know Aman is a vigin

    1. Hey Samuel, there is really…
      Hey Samuel, there is really no way to tell if a man or even a woman has ever had sex. You could ask them and have them tell you if they have had sex in the past.

  12. How can you know one is…
    How can you know one is mustbating

    1. Hi David, there is now way…
      Hi David, there is now way to tell if one is masturbating unless they tell or you find them.

  13. Can musturbation make a man…
    Can musturbation make a man loose interest with a pussy

  14. Y can be someone be having…
    Y can be someone be having pain everytime they ave sex yet it’s not their first time?

    1. Hi Dainah, so sorry about…
      Hi Dainah, so sorry about this. Sex should be pleasurable for both partners and not painful. Pain during sex can be the result of a number of things including an infection in the vagina, a lack of adequate physical and psychological preparation before sex and particularly penetration. Other times it may be an issue of the sex position. It is important to spend more time in foreplay to ensure the vagina self lubricates before penetration and also try and relax before penetration. Usually communication will aid with this, talk to your partner if there is pain or discomfort including if you are ready or not for penetration. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-time-to-listen-up

  15. I,TS NOTHING WITH VERGINS NO…
    I,TS NOTHING WITH VERGINS NO TASTE. DISTARBANS.

    1. Thank you for your…
      Thank you for your contribution Samuel.

    1. You are welcome Okello.
      You are welcome Okello.

  16. For girls hymen is broken…
    For girls hymen is broken.That’s breaking virginity.How do male loose their virginity?

    1. Hey Walter, loosing ones…
      Hey Walter, loosing ones virginity has largely been defined as to when one has intercourse for the first time. Also, the hymen in girls can be stretched through other activities other than sex including certain sports activities. Going with this definition, one looses their virginity when they have intercourse whether male or female.

  17. Ist good to a have sex with…
    Ist good to a have sex with a woman,immediately after her as attend a monthly period

  18. I didn’t bleed on the first…
    I didn’t bleed on the first night with MG partner. Had told him I am virgin now he doesnt trust me and thinks I lied to him all along. I had never had sex before what could have happened I am unable to explain this.

    1. Hi Wendy, It is a common…

      Hi Wendy, It is a common misconception that a woman bleeds when the hymen is torn. This isn’t always the case. So if there isn’t any blood when a woman has sex for the first time, it’s doesn’t mean that she isn’t a virgin. If the hymen had stretched with athletic activities and/or injuries, the woman is highly unlikely to bleed. If a woman is relaxed during intercourse, and is adequately lubricated, she may not bleed during penetration. Lack of blood does not equal lack of virginity. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/busting-the-hymen-myth

  19. If I have only had oral sex,…
    If I have only had oral sex, giving and receiving am I still a virgin?

  20. But if someone bleeds the…
    But if someone bleeds the first time you have sex it means she is a virgin?

  21. I and my fiance plan to get…
    I and my fiance plan to get married in 2 months times. Every time we plan on having sex she will come up with an excuse or just refuse. I am beginning to think she is not virgin like she said. Should I wait or insist on having sex before the wedding night?

    1. Hi Erick, it appears that…

      Hi Erick, it appears that you and your fiance want different things at this point of your relationship, she doesn’t seem to be ready to have sex. It may help to talk to her so you can find out what could be going on as opposed to holding on to what you think could be going on. A person can choose not to have sex for various reasons including religious beliefs. It probably has nothing to do with whether she is a virgin or not. If having sex is important for you before the wedding, you may need to talk with her and find out what her reasons are for not wanting to have sex at this time and then agree on how to proceed. Getting to know her reason may help you be at ease, this is if you both choose to wait up until marriage. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  22. Does masturbation brakes…
    Does masturbation brakes virginity?

    1. Hi there, A virgin is…

      Hi there, A virgin is someone who’s never had sex, however sex means different things to different people, so virginity can mean different things to different people. Most people seem to agree that having penis-in-vagina sex for the first time is how one looses their virginity. This then means that masturbation does not amount to breaking ones virginity. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/female-virginity-top-five-facts

  23. Hello my partner complain…
    Hello my partner complain that she’s a Vargin and she says she’s not ready to have sex and we have stayed with her for 18 months what should I do?

    1. Dear Wycliff, is your gal…

      Dear Wycliff, is your gal not ready to have sex because of fear of what sex will be like now that she is a virgin? Or is she not ready for the responsibilities that comes with having sex? Perhaps, you need to understand why she doesn’t want sex now. The decision to have sex or not should not be based on the period that you have been together, it about both of you being ready to commit to having sex. If she is not ready yet, respect her decision till a time she will be ready. 

  24. Can a lot of musturbation…
    Can a lot of musturbation make a man no to preganate a woman,,,

    1. Hello Johny, masturbation is…

      Hello Johny, masturbation is one of the safest, easiest forms of sex. It’s about getting to know your body and your likes and dislikes. This way, you can also teach your partner what you enjoy when you have sex. And no matter what you may have heard, there’s nothing shameful or unhealthy about it! masturbation is actually good for you! It’s good for your physical and sexual health. It’s a safe way to satisfy your sexual needs, even if you don’t have a partner. Check out this article for more information on myths about masturbation: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

  25. my boy say he is a virgin he…
    my boy say he is a virgin he says I will be his first like he will be my first. Can you know if a guy is a virgin?

    1. Hey Kellen, you really can’t…

      Hey Kellen, you really can’t tell if your boy is a virgin or not and this also applies to a girl. You will have to trust what he tells you and take it as truth. 

  26. my boyfriend says he was a…
    my boyfriend says he was a virgin when we met but he has many sex demands. He wants different styles all the time and some are very uncomfortable for me. is this possible for aboy who says he is a virgin?

    1. Hey Kisha, first you cannot…

      Hey Kisha, first you cannot tell if your partner was a virgin when you met them other than by what they tell you. Also, just because your partner knows so much about sex or want’s different things doesn’t mean that he already had had it at the time you met. It is possible that he is adventurers and he maybe looking for information in a websites such as this one. However, if this is concerning to you, be honest with him and let him know your concern to ensure you keep the trust in the relationship. Lastly, talking about sex is actually a good thing. It makes the experience better for both partners, but when you are uncomfortable about something it is important to Talk about it since sex should be pleasurable and enjoyable to both partners. Check out this article with more tips on talking about sex;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  27. I have failed to break the…
    I have failed to break the vaginity of my girl two times penis cannot go in and she feel pain a lot?

    1. HI Kenn, it is important…

      HI Kenn, it is important that your partner is relaxed during sex. When she is not relaxed, it also means her vaginal muscles are not relaxed making penetration painful. Also, it helps to spend time in foreplay which gets your partner aroused, when aroused the vagina becomes moist which inturns makes penetration easier and pleasurable to both partners. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

  28. How many times should you…
    How many times should you have sex with a girl to fully break her virginity?

    1. Hey Henry, one sexual…

      Hey Henry, one sexual experience is sufficient for a girl to loose her virginity. When intercourse or penetration takes place for the first time the girl is said to have lost her virginity. It is important to however, ensure that you use protection to prevent unplanned pregnancies and Sexually Transmitted Infections. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

  29. My partner had never had sex…
    My partner had never had sex when we met and she is very boring in bed. There are things I want her to do and be active but she doesn’t want…

    1. Hey Stan, sometimes you have…

      Hey Stan, sometimes you have to tell, teach, show you partner what you like. This process takes times for your partner to learn what you like. It is also important to consider her needs, what she likes or wants. Sex can be a process of self discovery, try not to focus on what she is not doing as well as you wish but start with what you like and graduate to what you would like for her to improve. Give it time, even when the changes are small. Check out this article for more tips on talking about sex;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  30. My girlfriend uses tampons…
    My girlfriend uses tampons yet she says she is a virgin. Is it possible for a virgin to use a tampon?

  31. If you finger fuck a girl do…
    If you finger fuck a girl do you still consider her a virgin?

  32. We usually sex chat with my…
    We usually sex chat with my guy and now it’s like he wants us to have real sex but am not ready I want to have sex after marriage not before but I don’t want to tell him no because it will hurt him how do I go about it.

    1. Hey Maureen, if you are not…

      Hey Maureen, if you are not ready for sex at this point of your relationship, you need to be honest and clear about this with your partner. It is important for him to know what to expect. Not talking about this may lead you to having sex when you are not ready which is likely to expose you to unplanned pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections. Find a good time and let him know you position on premarital sex. 

  33. what happens to a guy if he…
    what happens to a guy if he breaks his virginity?do they also blead

  34. I wanted to get married to a…
    I wanted to get married to a virgin man like myself I have never had sex but I am really doubting my fiance. From the way he talks about sex I think he has already done it with someone but he says he has never.

  35. I had sex with a girl last…
    I had sex with a girl last night but she didn’t bleed she said she was a virgin. I am confused. She was very wet but no signs of bleeding this morning. Did I break her virginity or she lied to me?

    1. Hi Keroa, one can’t really…

      Hi Keroa, one can’t really tell if a girl is a virgin when they have sex especially because not all girls will bleed the first time they have sex. The bleeding is usually as a result of the stretching of the hymen. Some activities including sports activities can cause the hymen to stretch, this however doesn’t mean one has lost their virginity. Also, if a woman is relaxed during intercourse, and is adequately lubricated, like it was with your partner, she may not bleed during penetration.  It is important to trust your partner if she says this was her first time but if you have concerns do talk with her and share your concerns. Remember, not bleeding doesn’t mean one is not a virgin. Check out the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/busting-the-hymen-myth

  36. i love sex but fear pregnancy
    i love sex but fear pregnancy

  37. Me and my partner we are…
    Me and my partner we are virgins. When we tried to have sex the first time my penis was not strong enough to break her virginity. When I tried semen came out and the erection fell. What should I do to have a strong erection to break her virginity next time?

    1. Hey Manu, first, you really…

      Hey Manu, first, you really don’t need so much strength the first time you have sex. The hymen is a piece of skin covering part of the vaginal opening and for this reason there is not need for so much strength for it to stretch during first time sex. Secondly, it appears you got very excited which led to you ejaculating to so. This is common in younger men and can also be caused by a lack of sexual experience. There are afew things one can do to address this, check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

      Lastly, it is normal to loose once erection after an ejaculation. One is not able to get another erection for some time, sometimes a couple of minutes. The amount it takes is different for each person. One has to work with their own body. It is important that to go easy the first time you are having sex, there are alot of things you will discover about yourselves, some exciting and other abit embarrassing. Have a look at this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

  38. What is secondary virginity?
    What is secondary virginity?

    1. Hello Salim, this is when a…

      Hello Salim, this is when a person who, after having has sex, makes a commitment not to be sexually active again until after marriage or at another point of their choosing in their life. The reasons for this can be religious, moral or other reasons. Anyone can practice this. 

  39. So, what if I had outcourse…
    So, what if I had outcourse once but it ended up with a very small amount of blood and I wasn’t tired after that cause when I felt it slipping into my vigina I stopped but there was blood ,so does that means that I’m not a virgin anymore right?

    1. Hello Julia, thank you for…

      Hello Julia, thank you for reaching out to us and asking a great question. To be honest, no doctor or man can dictate whether or not you are a virgin. At the end of the day, you define what virginity means to you. If you feel that it was the presence of blood or penetration that ‘broke’ your virginity, then you have every right to believe so but if you, alternatively, believe that the only way your virginity can be changed is by sharing it with your one true love and that this is something that happens mentally, just as much as it happens physically, then my dear it is your prerogative 🙂 Have a great week and stay safe!

  40. My girlfriend always fears…
    My girlfriend always fears when having sex because is her first time and i don’t want to force her on that..is there any advice for us

    1. HI Jimmy, thank you for…

      HI Jimmy, thank you for getting in touch and we are so glad that you are concerned about your partner and are so proud and happy that you want to take good care of her. Click here to find out more about what to expect when having sex for the first time: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

      Let us know what you think and we hope this information helps!

      Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

  41. A fantastic information…
    A fantastic information enriched

    1. Hello Vinord, thank you for…

      Hello Vinord, thank you for your feedback, we appreciate it. Please feel free to look through our website to find other articles that may be of help.

    1. Thank you, Precious! 

      Thank you, Precious! 

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