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Outercourse: 7 great ideas for pleasure

Outercourse is any sexual activity that does not include sexual penetration. The opposite of outercourse is intercourse (penetrative sex).

Outercourse can mean different things to different people. Some people consider outercourse as any sex play without sexual intercourse, where a man inserts his penis into a woman’s vagina.

For others, outercourse means sex play without any penetration (oral, anal, vaginal).

There are many sexual activities with outercourse that don’t involve sexual intercourse:

  1. Kissing

    You can explore kissing different body parts. Thighs, forehead, neck, between the toes, etc. Just let your tongue do the walking. 

  2. Masturbation

    You can give yourself pleasure by touching your own genitals. You can give your partner pleasure by touching their genitals. You can watch your partner masturbate or masturbate while your partner watches, which is a great way to learn what kind of touching you each like.

  3. Rubbing

    You can rub your body with your partner’s body. Many couples find it pleasurable and can even orgasm when they rub their genitals together. Body-to-body rubbing is sometimes also called grinding, dry humping, or frottage.

  4. Acting out sexual fantasies

    You can share or act out fantasies that turn you on with your partner. Or perhaps you might want to watch a sexy film or read a sexy story together.

  5. Using sex toys

    You can use a vibrator or dildo to explore and caress your body or your partner’s body. If you want to share your toy with your partner, and you’re using a toy to go into a vagina or an anus, it is important to put a condom on the toy. For each partner, use a new condom on your sex toy.

  6. Oral sex

    You can explore your partner’s genitals by using your mouth. You won’t get pregnant by performing or receiving oral sex, but you can pass on an infection. If you’re a guy, you can prevent passing on infection by using a condom. If you’re a girl, you can prevent passing on infection by using plastic wrap (or a condom cut into a square) to cover your genitals.
     

  7. Anal sex

    You can explore your partner’s buttocks, anus, and rectum by touching them with your fingers, mouth, genitals, or toys. You won’t get pregnant having anal sex, but it’s even easier to pass on an infection. Using a condom to cover your fingers or genitals can greatly reduce the risk of passing on an infection.

Can I get pregnant?

Outercourse can prevent pregnancy as long as you and your partner stick to having outercourse and not sexual intercourse (when a man inserts his penis into a woman’s vagina).

If you and your partner perform outercourse correctly, the chances of getting pregnant are almost zero. With anal sex and rubbing your genitals with your partners, there is a chance that semen or pre-ejaculate can get into the vagina. So if you want to be 100 percent sure, use a condom.

Can I get STIs?

No.
Outercourse can greatly reduce your risk of getting an STI, but it doesn’t guarantee it. During oral and anal sex, there is an exchange of bodily fluids between couples, which increases your risk of getting an STI.

Some STIs like herpes and HPV can be passed on simply by skin-to-skin contact. So while the risk of getting an STI is quite low, even with kissing or rubbing you’ve still got a risk of getting an STI. If you’re worried about getting an STI, use a condom or another barrier method to protect yourself.

Are there benefits?

Outercourse has no side effects and can be a pleasurable way to have safer sex especially when no semen and vaginal fluids are exchanged.

For women, outercourse can be helpful to learn how to have orgasms. Many women don’t get orgasms from vaginal stimulation (or sexual intercourse) alone but from clitoral stimulation. For men, outercourse allows them to be sexual without having the pressure to perform during sexual intercourse.

So for couples, outercourse can be a great way to learn about each other’s bodies and give each other pleasure, without the worry of getting pregnant.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (97)

        1. Hi Jose, 

          Thank you for…

          Hi Jose, 

          Thank you for getting in touch and thank you for your feedback. 

      1. Hey Stephen, thank you for…

        Hey Stephen, thank you for getting in touch and thank you for your feedback. 

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Jimmy. So glad that this information is useful to you.

    2. The knowledge grasped is…
      The knowledge grasped is highly satisfactory.

      1. Anonymous we are so happy…

        Anonymous we are so happy that our information is beneficial to you and will continue to do our best to impress you with our knowledgeable content and continue to do our best to make you happy and informed! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  1. Is ferinais to now a baut…
    Is ferinais to now a baut rove khowe ya westat ad khowe ya wee finist

    1. HI James, You question or…
      HI James, You question or comment is not clear?

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Ghunder.

  2. good ideas and teachings …
    good ideas and teachings indeed.

  3. educative.there are hardly…
    educative.there are hardly any classes for such.

  4. Hey Tattu, thank you for the…
    Hey Tattu, thank you for the feedback. We are glad this is helpful you.

    1. Glad you like the article…
      Glad you like the article. Keep reading.

  5. u guys are offering…
    u guys are offering important tips you know thanks alot

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Nancie and keep reading.

  6. Educate us more.. This is so…
    Educate us more.. This is so positive…I love

    1. We appreciate the feedback…
      We appreciate the feedback Shiru, keep exploring the site for more insightful articles.

    1. Hi Masinde, we appreciate…

      Hi Masinde, we appreciate the feedback.

  7. Interesting, but in the heat…
    Interesting, but in the heat of the moment things can get out of hand

    1. Hey Quin, this is why it is…

      Hey Quin, this is why it is important to talk to your partner before and agree that this os what you both want. Should anyone of you want more, you should agree and then use protection to prevent unplanned pregnancies and a further risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections. 

  8. Sometimes I ejaculate…
    Sometimes I ejaculate without penetration am I OK?

    1. Hey Ericko, this means that…

      Hey Ericko, this means that you get sexually excited too soon. This is also known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

  9. I release without…
    I release without ejaculation. Am I normal?

    1. Hey Soita, it seems that you…

      Hey Soita, it seems that you get sexually excited too soon. Premature Ejaculation, is when you ejaculate sooner than you wish to. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  10. Can body fluids transmit HIV…
    Can body fluids transmit HIV? Thanks

  11. i have friend and she has bn…
    i have friend and she has bn in arelationshp for along time but her bf akaanza kunikatia na nkaigia box ake buh alinxho walikoxana inaeza nletea xhda?????

    1. Hey Anne, it is likely to…

      Hey Anne, it is likely to bring up issues between you and your friend. This person cheated on your friend with you, what makes you feel this will not happen with you? Nothing really stops you from going ahead and dating him but this is likely to affect your relationship with your friend, think about what is more important to you and then make a decision. Check out the following;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/dating-your-exs-friend 

  12. Hey guys am new in the group…
    Hey guys am new in the group
    .welcome me

    1. Hey Sandra, welcome to Love…

      Hey Sandra, welcome to Love Matters Africa. You can also interact with us on our Facebook Page, Love Matters Africa.

  13. My girlfriend doesn’t like…
    My girlfriend doesn’t like giving or receiving oral sex but me I like it. What should I do so she can like it also?

  14. My boyfriend likes to caress…
    My boyfriend likes to caress my breast will it make them be ome big?

  15. My girlfriend doesn’t like…
    My girlfriend doesn’t like me caressing her breast she say they will become bigger. Is it true?

  16. What happens if you get…
    What happens if you get aroused erect but you dont ejaculate? Is this safe?

    1. Hey Frank, there is no…

      Hey Frank, there is no effect if one gets aroused but doesn’t ejaculate. 

  17. I ejaculate without putting…
    I ejaculate without putting my penis in the vagina am I OK?

    1. Hi Hussein, this means that…

      Hi Hussein, this means that you get too excited too quickly and which makes it challenging for you to control your ejaculation. This is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make them ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and as one grows they may also gain more experience in controlling their ejaculation. Check out this article for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation 

  18. my galfriend fear sex she…
    my galfriend fear sex she says it will be painful what can I do to make her accept?

    1. Hey Maina, first time sex…

      Hey Maina, first time sex doesn’t have to be painful. If your girlfriend does choose to have sex, it will be important that she is relaxed during the sex and that you take time in foreplay to prepare her. This makes the vagina moist and makes penetration easier. It also ensures that both partners enjoy sex. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect 

    1. I am glad that you found the…

      I am glad that you found the article useful. Keep reading!

  19. I think this is not…
    I think this is not satisfying for boys? I have been doing this kissing and alot of touching each other everywhere with my boyfriend now he says he wants more but am not ready, what should I do?

    1. Hey Jayne, if you are not…

      Hey Jayne, if you are not ready for sex let him know exactly that. If he respects you he will wait until you are ready. The decision of when to have sex is your personal decision and you should not be rushed or pushed to it. You need to think about whether it is the right time, whether you are with the right person and how you plan to prevent unplanned pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/how-soon-is-too-soon

  20. We do most of these to avoid…
    We do most of these to avoid pregnancy and it has worjed so far.

    1. Thank you for sharing your…

      Thank you for sharing your experience Sue. 

  21. Have been having a kind of…
    Have been having a kind of fun with my bf ,so good that he do release in me,but am still a virgin and we maintained it .
    my fear this day is that about my delayed period ,hope i am not pregnant

    1. Hey Olamide, do you mean you…

      Hey Olamide, do you mean you have been having sex without penetration? If this is the case, your boyfriend should not ejaculate anywhere near the vaginal opening since this can expose you unplanned pregnancies as well as Sexually Transmitted Infections. About the delayed period, one of the causes is pregnancy. Other causes can be stress, change in environment, weight gain or weight loss, underlying medical conditions among others. You can begin by having a pregnancy test done to rule out pregnancy. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/unsure-about-being-pregnant/am-i-pregnant

  22. Can you get a STI if you…
    Can you get a STI if you finger a girl?

  23. Sometimes I get erections…
    Sometimes I get erections when I don’t want to have sex and it will not go away until I masturbate what can I do to avoid it?

    1. Hi Dixon, sometimes penises…

      Hi Dixon, sometimes penises have minds of their own so that one can get an erection even when they are not thinking about sex sex or aroused. Try and distract yourself  by thinking about other non sexual things and give it sometime to loose the erection. Having said that this is completely normal. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/erection-top-five-facts

  24. I have wet dreams multiple…
    I have wet dreams multiple times a night and I wake up with an erection. Is this normal for men?

    1. Hey Dennis, having wet…

      Hey Dennis, having wet dreams is a normal part of growing up same as having an erection in the morning. There is no really way to reduce the wet dreams aside from growing and having sex often. Wet dreams will happen whether one is dreaming about sex or not. Have a look at the following articles for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/wet-dreams-are-they-normal

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/the-truth-about-morning-wood

  25. nice article but I expected…
    nice article but I expected something different when I saw the title. where do you place a man thrusting his penis between a woman’s laps (maybe close to the vagina) but not actually penetrating her? is that still outercourse?

    1. Hi Enigma, yes this is…

      Hi Enigma, yes this is considered outercourse because there is no oral, anal or vaginal vaginal penetration. However, partner need to be careful not to ejaculate anywhere near the vaginal opening. 

  26. Can you get an STI if he…
    Can you get an STI if he does not release inside you as he pulls out just before cumming?

    1. Yes Stl, Guys can leak a bit…

      Yes Stl, Guys can leak a bit of sperm out of the penis before actual ejaculation. This fluid is known as pre-ejaculate or pre-cum. This means that even if a guy pulls out before he ejaculates, a girl can still become pregnant or get a Sexually Transmitted Infection through this pre-ejaculate. Guys do not have control over when this fluid is released during sex. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/his-orgasms

  27. Does outcourse save…
    Does outcourse save virginity ?

  28. HI Lina, yes outercourse…

    HI Lina, yes outercourse does save ones virginity in the conventional sense but again, breaking ones virginity depends on different things to different people. To some, it is penetration of the vagina with a penis, for others it is engaging in sexual practices outside simply kissing someone so it all depends on you but to answer your question yet again, yes, in the conventional sense, it does. Have a wonderful week ahead and stay blessed!

  29. Thats really great knowledge…
    Thats really great knowledge through outercourse i have learned to give my woman orgasms i can give her upto 5 a day

  30. We are so glad Anonymous…

    We are so glad Anonymous that we are able to positively impact your life and are learning from our content! Stay tuned for more awesome content and continue being awesome! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe buddy!

  31. How can my boyfriend and i…
    How can my boyfriend and i do sex without using condom and i dont get ball

  32. What if I relase(ejaculate…
    What if I relase(ejaculate on her Clintons,maybe when she is ovulating,Can it lead to pregnancy?

    Also is it possible to get her pregnant by saying on the surface?

    1. Thank you for asking a great…

      Thank you for asking a great question Anonymous, 

      It’s possible for you to get pregnant without having sexual intercourse if, for example:

      • sperm get into your vagina – for example, if you or your partner have semen or pre-ejaculate on your fingers and touch your vagina
      • your partner ejaculates near your vagina
      • your partner’s erect penis comes into contact with your body near your vagina

      The risk of getting pregnant in this way is very low because sperm can only live for a short time outside of the body. However, if you’re not planning a pregnancy, it’s important to know that it’s possible to get pregnant in this way.

      1. How about if she is till a…
        How about if she is till a virgin and that mistake happens will we were having outercourse?

        1. Hi Anonymous, thank you for…

          Hi Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us. What happens? What do you mean? could you please be a little clearer?

  33. I enjoy getting my fingers…
    I enjoy getting my fingers in their long hair braids

    1. Hi Litfrank, thank you for…

      Hi Litfrank, thank you for your input we appreciate it. We all have different things we enjoy sexually and it is great to understand what you like and how you like it.

  34. My boyfriend finds pleasure…
    My boyfriend finds pleasure in rubbing my vagina and doesn’t believe I can get pregnant from premature ejaculation as a virgin.

    Please how save is it to practice this often to prevent unplanned pregnancy.

    1. Hi Psalmiebol, thank you for…

      Hi Psalmiebol, thank you for reaching out to us we appeciate it. Although he is not ejaculating inside you, there is a slight possibility that you could in fact get pregnant from this activity. Maybe consider using condoms next time.

  35. Hi, my partner has been…
    Hi, my partner has been denying me sex for so long. In the recent past she gave it to me and after two weeks she told me she is pregnant but during that time she was on femiplan. Is this possible?

  36. Hi Dav, thank you for…

    Hi Dav, thank you for getting in touch with us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. First of all, let us address the issue of denying you sex. Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
    This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

    To address your question, Yes. Although birth control pills have a high success rate, they can fail and you can get pregnant while on the pill. Certain factors increase your risk of getting pregnant, even if you’re on birth control. Keep these factors in mind if you’re sexually active and want to prevent an unplanned pregnancy.

  37. Woow,,,quite good,,,I have…
    Woow,,,quite good,,,I have learned things I never knew

    1. Hi Grace, 

      Great to hear…

      Hi Grace, 

      Great to hear Grace! Keep it here for more informative content! 

  38. I have tried all kind of sex…
    I have tried all kind of sex except gay sex,

    1. Hi Alex, 

      Great to hear…

      Hi Alex, 

      Great to hear that you have been adventurous! What exactly do you mean by gay sex?

  39. Hey.. My girlfriend have been living with HIV for quite some times now and she has been under medication and she has managed to maintain Undetectable viral load for sometime now, just the other day i thought of having sex with out a condom am i at risk of the virus…. advise please….

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