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© Love Matters | Rita Lino

I am pregnant: what do I do now?

If you’ve had sex without using a contraceptive, there’s a chance you could be pregnant. And what can you do if you are?
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If you were planning to get pregnant – congratulations! Head over to our section on pregnancy where you can find detailed information about what to expect.

For many people, though, pregnancy can come as a surprise. It’s easy to forget about the condom in the heat of the moment. Even if you use contraception perfectly, sometimes it just doesn’t work.

Either way, if you unintentionally get pregnant, you need to decide on what to do.

There are three options:

  • You could keep the baby.
  • You could deliver the baby and give it up for adoption, or to a family member.
  • You could have the pregnancy terminated (an abortion).

Whatever you decide, you need to think carefully about the next steps. Talk to someone you trust. Someone who can give you advice and support; preferably an adult such as your mother, an aunt, a friend, your partner, or your doctor. Someone who won’t judge you for the choices you ultimately make. In the end, you’re the one who has to make the decision.

It’s always best to talk your decision through with someone you trust. The surer you are of your decision, the better you will feel afterwards. Make sure you are the one who makes the final decision and do not settle for anything less. Don’t let anyone pressure you into a decision you don’t feel comfortable with.

Keep the baby

You could decide to keep the baby. This means thinking about the future:

what will you have to put into place to ensure you can take care of a dependent?

  • Do you have a plan and a social support system for instance from the baby’s father, or from family?
  • What are the short-, mid-, and long-term implications for your life and plans?
  • What about your education and career?
  • Will you have enough support – from the baby’s father, or your family?
  • Will you have enough resources to live on?
  • If you have a partner, what do they think?
  • Do they want to keep the child?
  • How many children do you have already?
  • Is it safe to have another?
  • Is the foetus healthy?
  • Are you healthy?
  • And the most important question: do you want this child?

Give the baby up for adoption

You could also have the baby adopted. Again, you need to think carefully, considering all your options. If you decide to take this option, how will you find someone to adopt your child?

You could contact an official adoption agency and have your child safely and legally adopted through the state. They will then take you through the process and explain what happens in adoption cases. They will ask you to sign a consent form and arrange a suitable plan for how you can get the baby to them once it is born. In most cases, adoption centres can make arrangements for you to leave the baby at the hospital, where they will collect it.

If you’re still very young and you live with your family, it helps if you can be honest with your parents. As a minor, you may be limited in some of the options you can consider. They may want to help raise the child or, if not, perhaps they can help you decide what to do. If it’s difficult to tell them, perhaps another family member or family friend could help you break the news.

Under no circumstances should you just abandon a child. Doing this is illegal and it is always better to leave a child with a hospital, adoption agency, or church, so the child can be taken care of.

End the pregnancy

The third option is to have an abortion. Like the others, this is not an easy decision to make, and you may need some time to think it over. But don’t let anyone choose for you. This is about you, your body, and your choices, so in the end, you have to decide for yourself. Read more about the different types of abortions.

Your decision

There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. You should decide what feels right for you. If you’re really struggling, try talking through your options with someone you trust. 

For pregnancy crisis counselling, visit a Marie Stopes clinic near you. Click here to find the nearest clinic. 

Riddle ID

Did you learn something new?

In the morning I had my testa positive the following day I tested in afternoon and it was negative but I not seen my periods 8days passed on it
Hello Nyt, What test did you take? Blood tests are usually more accurate than urine tests. Visit a medical centre to have a blood test done. Missing your periods is however one sign that you could be pregnant.
Urine test is almost 99% accurate since it uses a hormonal reaction with artificial antigens within the strip. It's hard to find the hormone when one is not pregnant. You should wait for a week or two then try it again to get perfect results. Good luck!

Hey GG, Yes she can get pregnant even if it is the first time she is having sex. This is why it is important to plan and use a birth control method to prevent unplanned pregnancy including sexually transmitted infection. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/unsure-about-being-pregnant/unwanted-pregnancy-top-five-facts

Hey Tessy, first, you can have sex any time when you use protection like a condom or another birth control method. Safe days are one of the most unreliable ways to prevent pregnancy, and we really don't recommend it at all. When your safe days are really depends on the length of your cycle. Technically speaking, the first seven days before and after your period, as well as the time of your period, are relatively safe. But, if you have a shorter cycle (shorter than 28 days), or an irregular one, this will vary. Also keep in mind that sperm can survive for up to five days and longer inside the body- so even if you have sex on a 'safe' day, you can still get pregnant, because the sperm survived until your ovulation date. So you see, it's a very inaccurate. And lastly, of course this won't protect you from STDs. Only condoms will. So we really recommend a more reliable method. https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/female-body/menstruation

I as a person overwork myself but ever since i got pregnant, i cannot do as much work as i normally do. I tend to vomit after eating the food i love like fruits, eggs, cakes, and many others.
Hi Diana, This is expected because of the changes that are going on in your body. Perhaps you could try eating smaller portions of meals more regularly. If the meals cause you to vomit all the time maybe you could explore other alternatives, what's important is to keep healthy by eating well. We wish you well in your journey.
Early signs of pregnancy include:- Tender, swollen breast Fatigue Slight bleeding Nausea with or without vomiting Food cravings Headaches Constipation Mood swings among others. A missed period can also be a sign you could be pregnant. You can take a test to determine if you are or you are not pregnant. Check out the following article for more information. https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/unsure-about-being-pregnant/am-i-pregnant
I had sex after 12das of my periods and after like 30min I saw the blood again it carried like three days and then stopped I had sex again BT now I tested pregnant which day Igot pregnant because the first time won't appear very well but now it clear and
Hi Petty, The best way to determine if you are pregnant is to get a pregnancy test. You could do a home urine test or visit a medical centre for a test. The signs that one person experiences may not be the same as what you will experience. Get a test to be sure.
Hi Mary, First, it depends on why you are having the cramps or lower abdominal pains. If it is a result of mensuration then your are not likely to be pregnant when menstruating but there is a small chance. You are likely to get pregnant if you have sex when you are ovulating or just about to. Check out the following article for more tips. https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/before-pregnancy/getting-pregnant-dos-and-donts
Hi I have skipped my period for 38days i had a depo injection before and during those days my periods were regular.I was involved in food poisoning late may this year had my period on june and from there I have never had my period again...my breast are tender,bloating and feel nausea alot what could be the problem
Hi Rumy, All birth control methods have a failure rate. If you then have had sex during that period you could be pregnant. To rule out pregnancy, do consider taking a pregnancy test and if this is negative you can then consider other things.
Hi Lisa, If you do not feel like you want the baby at this point you can consider carrying the pregnancy to term and then give up the baby for adoption. Visit a Marie Stopes Centre nearest or call the Marie Stopes toll free number 0800720005 to further discuss these options with you.
Hi Marie, Ovulation is when a mature egg is released from the ovary, pushed down the fallopian tube, and is made available to be fertilized by a sperm. Check out this article:- https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/female-body/menstruation
I was pregnant before and I had a discourage after recovering I was injected a family planing then after 3 months I got my period and failed to come the following month and came again the next month and right now I have a big belly but the test always show negative
Hi Daisy, You may need to get a scan. You have not talked about what tests you have done, if these are home urine tests then it maybe important to seek services at medical centre. A scan will better inform what could be going on.
Hi daisy,av missed my periods for about one month and no sign of pregnancy.plz advice since I wish I could be pregnant
Hi Susy, have you do a pregnancy test? No everyone will present in the same way after pregnancy. Do take a pregnancy test to get to know if you are pregnant. If you have not been trying for more than 6 months then keep trying it may take longer perhaps a few months before you get pregnant. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/before-pregnancy/getting-pregnant-dos-and-donts
Yes Anna, after conception your body starts to produce hormones to help with the pregnancy and keep a baby healthy. These changes happens for a healthy pregnancy, but they’ll also change the way that your discharge looks in the process.
Sat, 10/14/2017 - 07:42 am
Hello,am having a problem,I missed my periods,It's one month now,the only sign am experiencing is my breast becoming heavy each night and arching in the armpits,plz advice.
Hello Millicent, Those two signs - a missed period and bigger breast - are some of the early signs of pregnancy. Take a pregnancy test to be certain. You can take a home pregnancy test or visit a medical centre to have one done. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/pregnancy/being-pregnant/your-body-and-pregnancy

The time you’re likely to ovulate lasts four days, between 16 and 12 days before the first day of your period. If you have a period every 28 days, take 16 away from 28: 28 - 16 = 12 That means the four days you’re most likely to ovulate begin 12 days after your period starts. So your period starts on day one, and you ovulate between day 12 and 16. If you have a period every 21 days, take 16 away from 21: 21 - 16 = 5. That means the four days you’re likely to ovulate begin five days after your period starts. So your period starts on day one, and you ovulate between day five and day 9. if this is still not clear, click on the following link to help you calculate the days you are going to ovulate;- https://www.babycenter.com/ovulation-calculator


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