When having anal sex, two things are very important: taking it slowly and using lots of lubricant. The anus, unlike the vagina, doesn't have any natural lubrication. But if you want anal sex to be painless, you will need to make up for that with lots of lube.
Also, your partner has to be very relaxed, so the muscles around the anus aren't tight. You should start by stroking the anus and after a while, you can slip in a finger and see how your partner likes it. If all's good, you can put the head of your penis inside.
Move very, very slowly. Fast movements will hurt. Anal sex needs some time to get used to, and the slower you move and the more time and lube you take, the better your chances of enjoying it!
It is a good idea to ask your partner to visit the bathroom and wash the area around the anus with soapy water before having anal sex. But enemas are not necessary (actually, they can irritate the anus and the bowel).
The 'tube' inside your anus is the rectum. It’s a temporary store for stool that’s ready to leave the body. If you’re healthy, and you don’t have diarrhoea, constipation or intestinal diseases, once you’ve been for a poo, the rectum is left empty and pretty much clean until the next load of waste comes along.
If you are too worried about it being dirty but still want anal sex, you could try starting in the shower. Just remember that your lube should be silicone-based then, because water-based lube will wash away in the shower.
For men, anal sex feels really good because their prostate gets plenty of attention. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland which you can feel through the wall of the rectum about five centimetres inside. Stimulating the prostate can give a man truly amazing orgasms.
Also, the anus and rectum are much tighter than the vagina, and that makes penetration a very pleasurable sensation for men.
Women like anal sex because there are many nerve endings around the anus which means it's very sensitive to touch (men have those nerve endings, too). Stimulation feels good and can give intense pleasure.
The risk of getting an STD when you have anal sex is very high. Because the anus doesn't have any natural lubrication, it's very likely that you can get small tears around it when having anal sex. And that makes it very easy for viruses like HIV to get into your body. Which is why you should always use a condom when having anal sex!
Also, don't move from the anus to the vagina without giving the penis (finger or toy) a good wash and changing the condom – the bacteria living around the anus can cause vaginal infections.
Some claim that anal sex is only for homosexuals. This is not true. Anybody can have anal sex. First of all, gay sex isn’t just anal. And not all gay men go for it. Just over 60 per cent of homosexual men have anal sex on a regular basis, a study estimates.
Men sometimes doubt their sexual orientation when they realize they enjoy anal action. But because of the intense sensation and orgasms they can get from having their prostate stimulated they shouldn't worry too much. So if you’re straight, don’t be shy: if you’d like your partner to slip a finger inside, talk to her, or show her.