hand holding carrots and two eggs forming the shape of penis and balls respectively
Shutterstock

Is masturbation healthy in a relationship?

When you masturbate, you touch and caress yourself to give yourself sexual pleasure. Often you do this until you’re fully aroused and have an orgasm. What if you’re masturbating your partner?

First, ignore the myths, masturbation is normal, healthy, and can be quite beneficial. 

Masturbation in a relationship doesn’t have to happen when your spouse is out of town or not in the mood for lovemaking, instead, it should be something that should be added to the intimacy ritual. 

We cannot always depend on penetrative sex for all sexual pleasure. Masturbation can be part of foreplay or it can be the only sexual activity that couples choose to engage in sometimes. 

Many people continue masturbating even when they’re in a happy and committed relationship.

Why would someone masturbate if they’re happy with their partner? There are several reasons:

  • Stress relief: some people use masturbation as a release to relax after a stressful day.
  • They feel aroused but don’t want to have full sex or don’t have the right opportunity for it.
  • They want to try out different techniques and movements, which they can then practice with their partner.
  • They know the rhythm of their own body and use masturbation to help build the excitement.
  • Masturbation helps explore and get comfortable with your fantasies

People who masturbate regularly tend to have more satisfying sex lives, so it’s nothing to worry about!

If you feel upset because your partner masturbates regularly, stay calm and ask them why they do it. Then ask if you can watch it next time! Both men and women can find it a turn-on to be watched masturbating by their partner.

Just say: ‘I’d really like to watch you masturbate next time, so I can see what turns you on.’

Then your partner won’t feel ashamed of doing something perfectly natural, and you won’t feel excluded. And you may well pick up some tips on what feels good to them for the next time you have sex together.

Masturbating her

Masturbating a woman is also known as fingering. When you masturbate a woman, you touch her clitoris and the area around it: the labia and the opening to the vagina. Fingering can make a woman deeply aroused and can bring her to orgasm. But it’s different for every woman, and it can feel different every time.

How do you do it?

  • You can rub around the clitoris or to the side of it – or even right over it.
  • You can move faster or slower, and stroke harder or more gently.
  • You can put one or more fingers inside the woman’s vagina.

Ask your partner what she likes. You could ask her to take your hand and guide you. Or show you herself – which can be quite a turn-on!

Be keen on her body language

Pay attention to her body language. How is she responding to your touch? Is her vagina becoming moist? Is she sighing or moaning? Is her body writhing? Then you’re getting it right!

Also, listen to her breathing: is it getting faster? That’s also a sign that she’s getting aroused.

Apart from your fingers, you can also use your mouth. Only do it if you’re ready for it yourself – not just because the other person takes the initiative and you don’t dare to say no!

Masturbating him

Masturbating a man is also known as – among many other things –  giving a hand-job. You rub or stroke the penis with your hand, usually back and forth over the head. This can feel very arousing and can bring a man to orgasm. It’s different for everybody though, and even for the same person, it can feel different every time.

How do you do it?

  • You can use your whole hand, or just your finger and thumb.
  • You can make short movements or long strokes – experiment together.
  • You can do it quickly or slowly, holding the penis firmly or more gently.
  • Ask your partner what he likes. Let him show you, perhaps with your hand under his so you can feel exactly where he’s putting the pressure.

Don’t forget his body language

Pay attention to his body language. How is he responding to your touch? Is his penis getting even harder? Is he sighing or moaning? Then you’re getting it right! Is his breathing getting faster? That’s also a sign that he’s getting aroused.

Apart from your fingers, you can also use your mouth. Only do it if you’re ready for it yourself – not just because the other person takes the initiative and you don’t dare to say no!

If your partner is circumcised, the head of the penis is often less sensitive. You can use spit or lubricant to make your hand slide more easily.

Did you learn something new?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (179)

    1. What are the bad effects of…
      What are the bad effects of masturbation

        1. Quite a well researched…
          Quite a well researched article and honest response. Kudos

      1. Excessive masturbation can…
        Excessive masturbation can cause low sensitivity and reduced sperm levels and reduced testosterone or oestrogen levels, but it restores itself back.

        1. Hello Odunzi, thank you for…

          Hello Odunzi, thank you for your input. It can indeed cause decreased penile sensitivity causing a person to last longer than average during intercourse.

      2. It will result in poor…
        It will result in poor Libido and weak sex life.

        1. That is not true. There is…

          That is not true. There is no connection between libido levels and masturbation. 

    2. I really have to do also a…
      I really have to do also a podcast about self gratification too..thank you for the education

      1. We are always pleased to…

        We are always pleased to help 🙂

    3. What r the dangers of…
      What r the dangers of masturbation

      1. Hi Still, there are no known…

        Hi Still, there are no known medical adverse effects. However, if you find yourself being unable to carry out your day to day activities because you are taking time out of your day to masturbate, then you might have a problem.

        1. Am 30yrs old and started…
          Am 30yrs old and started musturbation when i was 14, i have tried to quit but i then finds myself in it again and again, it has alot of disadvantage, if you have not started, it is not a very good thing.

          1. Hello John, thank you for…

            Hello John, thank you for reaching out to us. If you are absolutely sure you want to stop, you should know that it will not be easy. This is because sex leads to the release of endorphins which is better known as the pleasure hormone. Second, masturbation has now become part of your arousal template which is the total amount of thoughts, activities, stimuli, smells etc. that arouse a person sexually.
            To stop masturbating, you will need to identify the things that lead you to masturbate like seeing something, or just boredom. Also, when you get the urge to masturbate occupy yourself with another activity.
            Please note that it could take you 21 days to 6 months to work on this and it might not work. If you are really committed, try, and find a counselor or a therapist to help you through. Good luck!
             

          2. Hi there,

            Do you want to…

            Hi there,

            Do you want to know how to stop? How to masturbate solo?

      2. Masturbation causes hair loss
        Masturbation causes hair loss

        1. Hello Emmanuel, thank you…

          Hello Emmanuel, thank you for getting in touch and sharing your thoughts!  We beg to differ with you as the idea that masturbation will cause your hair to fall out isn’t true. There’s absolutely no scientific evidence linking masturbation to hair loss, nor is there any relationship between the amount of sex you have and the thickness or health of your hair.

    4. Hi I have a problem,my…
      Hi I have a problem,my periods can delay for more than 5 months and am not under any birth control measure.where could be the problems?

      1. Hi Stella, thank you for…

        Hi Stella, thank you for getting in touch and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. Absent menstruation, also known as amenorrhea, is the absence of menstrual periods. There are two types of absent menstruation. The type depends on whether menstruation hasn’t occurred by a certain age, or whether menstruation has occurred and is then absent. Absent menstruation may occur for a variety of reasons. The most common of these include natural causes, lifestyle factors, and hormonal imbalances. It’s important to see a doctor about absent menstruation, as the underlying cause may require treatment. Absent menstruation often resolves once the cause is treated.

    5. Is it true that masburtion…
      Is it true that masburtion enlarges the prostate glands?

      1. No Julius, that’s a myth. 

        No Julius, that’s a myth. 

    6. It’s helping thanks for the…
      It’s helping thanks for the talk,,,

      1. Great! Thank you Omarison!

        Great! Thank you Omarison!

  1. My girlfriend always bleeds…
    My girlfriend always bleeds after sex and i don’t understand the reason why…

    1. Hi Mike, If this is…
      Hi Mike, Bleeding that is different from her regular periods is not normal and since this is something that happens all the time, it is important that she seeks medical attention.

  2. Please share with us about…
    Please share with us about leaking or easting using mouth.. Is it good or bad??

  3. Side effect of masturbation?
    Side effect of masturbation?

  4. this girlfriend is a virgin…
    this girlfriend is a virgin but won’t give in to any sexual advances saying that she’s not into it,she’s just not ready,sex is demanding and addictive.She has however promised me to be patient and I’ll be able to break her virginity at the right time,when she will be ready.She has even allowed me to have a side-chic for sex if i can’t control the urge.All ma efforts to coax her into it have borne no fruits at all.Plz help.

    1. Can frequent masturbation…
      Can frequent masturbation cause premature ejaculation in men

      1. Hi Carol, thank you for…

        Hi Carol, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. That theory isn’t actually true. In fact, one of the ways of treating premature ejaculation is by controlled masturbation. 

        Premature Ejaculation is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. The anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation.

        There are a few things you can do to improve control and last longer. In the short term, you can take short breaks during intercourse, you can also apply firm pressure underneath the penis during intercourse to push blood out of the penis hence decreasing sexual tension, distract yourself to think about other non sexual things or use penis desensitizers. Penis desensitizers come in the form of sprays and creams that can be applied on the penis minutes before intercourse and they help to delay ejaculation. Sometimes a condom can help reduce the sensitivity on the penis. 

        In the long term you can ensure they eat healthy and avoid lots of processed foods, begin to exercise which improves blood flow in the body, reduce or eliminate the use of alcohol including smoking and more importantly reduce stress during intercourse. Foreplay will also play a critical role in preparing your partner and getting them closer to an orgasm.

        The following articles provide more information;-

        https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts
        https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

        Love Matters Team.

  5. Tattu, she has been clear…
    Tattu, she has been clear and honest to you about sex. If she is not ready at this time to have sex, you will have to respect her choice and wait up until she is ready. The question is are you willing to wait? We wish you well.

  6. Patients pays dont be…
    Patients pays dont be stressed with her even dont be in hurry relax

    1. Thank you for your…

      Thank you for your contribution Cornelius.

  7. I usually ejaculate very…
    I usually ejaculate very first what should I do to take longer?

    1. Hi TD, What you maybe…

      Hi TD, What you maybe experiencing is know as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from the relationship or even work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article for tips of what one can do;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  8. is any connection of using…
    is any connection of using familyplanning methods and ED?

  9. How can I stop masturbation…
    How can I stop masturbation I am too addicted to it.

    1. Hey Chris, first,…

      Hey Chris, first, masturbation has no medical effect but if you are doing it to the point you are missing out on important tasks like school or work and that your private parts are sore then it maybe important to reduce masturbation. A good place to start is to look at what could be triggering this behaviour, for some people it could be porn. Start by avoid the trigger you have observed, take one day at a time. You may not experience complete change at once but if you keep at it you will get to your desired change. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/cant-stop-masturbating

  10. I am addicted to…
    I am addicted to masturbation 8 can leave the bathroom without doing it in the morning and I can’t sleep without doing it. Can it cause infertility in future when I get married and want to get children?

    1. Hi Stephen, you are addicted…

      Hi Stephen, you are addicted to masturbation if it takes alot of your time to the point that you miss out on important tasks like school or work. Masturbation can be a great and safe way to explore once sexuality especially because it has no medical effects. Masturbation will therefore not cause fertility and one should be able to have children when they choose to as long as their reproductive organs are healthy.  Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

    2. I’ve been doing it for like…
      I’ve been doing it for like 30 yrs and still have children, I enjoy doing it

      1. Thank you for sharing with…

        Thank you for sharing with us Nev. Does your wife know about it? 

  11. What is the negative effect…
    What is the negative effect of masturbation?

  12. Can someone get addicted to…
    Can someone get addicted to masturbation to the oint they don’t want to have sex with another person?

    1. Hey Vic, sex is just but one…

      Hey Vic, sex is just but one part of a relationship. People will get into relationships for various reasons including love, friendship, intimacy, companionship among other reasons. What sex with another person provides cannot be provided by masturbation only. People who are in a relationship can also choose to masturbate for purposes of releasing sexual tension or when their partner is away. Masturbation may take one away from important tasks like work or school but it may not be enough to make one not to desire an intimate or sexual relationship with another.

  13. What is the negative effect…
    What is the negative effect of masturbation for men can you become impotent?

  14. I walk in on my girlfriend…
    I walk in on my girlfriend masturbating and she went all the way. I am wondering whether she is not satisfied when we make love that she needs to masturbate?

  15. I masturbate at every chance…
    I masturbate at every chance I get please help me stop?

    1. Hey Oscar, first,…

      Hey Oscar, first, masturbation has no medical effects, it can be a great to explore your own sexuality and a safe way. However, if you feel it is getting in the way of you focusing on important duties at work or school it is time to think about reducing it. A good place to start is to think about what triggers this. Sometimes it could be porn and one needs to avoid the trigger tha leads to the behaviour. Additionally, try fill up your leisure time with with other productive activities including spending time with your friends. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/cant-stop-masturbating 

  16. What is the negative effects…
    What is the negative effects of masturbating for a man?

  17. Can masturbating all the…
    Can masturbating all the time make you infertile?

    1. Hey Oj, No. Masturbating…

      Hey Oj, No. Masturbating will not make you infertile. As long as your sexual organs are healthy, you will keep producing sperm, whether or not you masturbate. If one is trying to get their partner pregnant, it’s actually good to keep the semen flowing! Older sperm that has been hanging around in there for a few days are less likely to be in tip-top condition. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

      1. Does masturbating have to do…
        Does masturbating have to do with spiritual matters

        1. Hi Francis, this is a great…

          Hi Francis, this is a great question. People have varying beliefs. Some religions do believe that some sexual acts are wrong.  Here at Love Matters, we respect everyone’s right to religious freedom and conscience. However, we chose to stick to the scientific aspect of things and we have outlined the facts on masturbation in various articles across this platform. Here is one.

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-2

  18. I really love your love…
    I really love your love qoutes

    1. Hey Emma, we appreciate the…

      Hey Emma, we appreciate the feedback.

  19. How can I stop masturbating…
    How can I stop masturbating and can masturbation make some to have premature ejaculation?

    1. Hey Dan, first there is…

      Hey Dan, first there is nothing medically wrong with masturbation, infact it can be a great and safe way to explore ones sexuality. However, if you feel that you are overdoing it, you may want to start by thinking about what triggers this. For some people it maybe porn. Once you get to know what is triggering it, start by avoiding the trigger. Remember, the change will not happen in a day but daily. Secondly, masturbation doesn’t cause premature ejaculation. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, stress or anxiety. In other cases it maybe a lack of sexual experience. Check out the following articles for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  20. What’s the effect of…
    What’s the effect of mustrebution

  21. As a girl I masturbate just…
    As a girl I masturbate just touching and rubbing my pussy not using a dildo or anything like that until i climax. I have never had sex with a man. Can you consider me a virgin?

      1. can i ever stop master bating
        can i ever stop master bating

        1. Hello Shamsah, thank you for…

          Hello Shamsah, thank you for reaching out to us. If you are absolutely sure you want to stop, you should know that it will not be easy. This is because sex leads to the release of endorphins which is better known as the pleasure hormone. Second, masturbation has now become part of your arousal template which is the total amount of thoughts, activities, stimuli, smells etc. that arouse a person sexually.
          To stop masturbating, you will need to identify the things that lead you to masturbate like seeing something, or just boredom. Also, when you get the urge to masturbate occupy yourself with another activity.
          Please note that it could take you 21 days to 6 months to work on this and it might not work. If you are really committed, try and find a counselor or a therapist to help you through. Good luck!

  22. 2 quizzes does masturbation…
    2 quizzes does masturbation cause infertility? What about premature ejaculation?

      1. What help me mastbation my…
        What help me mastbation my self

        1. Hi Anonymous, please go…

          Hi Anonymous, please go through the article. It has great pointers.

  23. I think I am addicted to…
    I think I am addicted to this I do it many times during the day and every night before I sleep. I want to stop because I met this beautiful girl and I want to date her. please help with ideas to help me stop…

    1. Hey Jerry, you may want to…

      Hey Jerry, you may want to begin by thinking about what triggers this. after you figure out the triggers try and avoid the triggers. For some people the trigger might be porn. It is important to note that change will not happen in a day. Allow yourself to make small steps towards the change you wish. You may fail sometimes but keep at it on a day to day basis. Check out the following article;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/cant-stop-masturbating

  24. Can masturbation make…
    Can masturbation make someone to have premature ejaculation? If yes if you have it can you use viagra to to cure it?

    1. Hi Okara, no masturbation…

      Hi Okara, no masturbation doesn’t cause premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is caused by psychological issues like fear, anxiety or stress. It may also be caused by a lack of experience in sex. Viagra should only be used when prescribed by a health worker. Have a look at the following article;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/viagra-for-kicks-the-myths-and-risks

  25. I had some girls talking…
    I had some girls talking about having sex with each how an two girls have sex?

  26. I am addicted to…
    I am addicted to masturbation I now have a girlfriend I want to quit help me with ideas.

    1. Hey Joe, to stop…

      Hey Joe, to stop masturbation it is important to identify what triggers this behaviour and begin by avoiding this. For some it could be porn and this is what one needs to avoid. This is a journey that you will walk daily since change is a process. Don’t give up even when you relapse. Having said that, even people in relationships do masturbate for various reasons. Have a look at the following articles for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/i-am-addicted-to-porn-and-masturbation

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

  27. Hi,is it right to finger…
    Hi,is it right to finger-fuck a girl in the anus during foreplay?

  28. I am concerned that I have…
    I am concerned that I have lately been masturbating alot. I broke up with my girlfriend. I want to know if masturbation alot will affect my performance in future when I get a girlfriend?

  29. NOTHING TURE ME ON EVEN…
    NOTHING TURE ME ON EVEN MASTURBATION. PLS WHAT CAN I DO

  30. Can you finish your sperm…
    Can you finish your sperm because of too much masturbating?

  31. Hellow,,can masterbation…
    Hellow,,can masterbation lead to premature ejaculation because i am addicted to masterbation ,,could it be the reason,!????

    1. Hi Dennis, masturbation does…

      Hi Dennis, masturbation does not cause premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. There are a few things he can do to overcome premature ejaculation and learn to last longer during sex, check out this article for tips;-  https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation  

  32. What are the benefits of…
    What are the benefits of using viagra,,!?and how can someone improve in his sex,!??

    1. Hi Dennis, Viagra should be…

      Hi Dennis, Viagra should be taken as prescribed by ones doctor. It is used to treat erectile dysfunction in men, which results in improved sexual performance. About improving once sexual performance, it really depends on the issues one is experiencing and whether there are medical, psychological or a case of inexperience. In most cases, sex will improve between partners by talking about it. Getting to know each others needs is likely to result in a better sex experience for both partners. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  33. I masturbate daily several…
    I masturbate daily several times a day. I am in a relationship now thought I would stop but still I do. Will this behaviour affect my ability to make my partner pregnant when that time comes?

    1. Hey Henry, people in…

      Hey Henry, people in relationship do masturbate for various reasons; sometimes their partner is away, they are stressed or just want to relieve some of that sexual tension. Masturbation does not affect ones fertility, you should be able to get your partner pregnant once you both are ready and if your reproductive organs are healthy. Have a look at this article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

    1. We appreciate the feedback…

      We appreciate the feedback Love.

  34. Is it true that when you…
    Is it true that when you masturbate alot it makes your penis to shrink?

    1. Hey, do you mean you are…

      Hey, do you mean you are looking to find a girl? If this is the case we are not able to help you since we are not a dating service. We wish you you all the best though. 

  35. Can a masturbating man…
    Can a masturbating man impreginat a girl

    1. Hi Willington, thank you for…

      Hi Willington, thank you for your question. Yes, a man who masturbates can make a woman pregnant. Masturbating has no effect on one’s ability to produce viable sperm.

  36. Is it a myth or fact that…
    Is it a myth or fact that Musterbation causes Balding in men

    1. Hi Sam, this is a myth.

      Hi Sam, this is a myth.

  37. Does it have any thing to do…
    Does it have any thing to do with affecting the growth of the sexual organs in away that it reduces the size, and causing premature ejaculation when having sex.???!

  38. Does masterbation make…
    Does masterbation make someone thin

  39. tynee does masterbation make someone weak or thin says:

    Tynee
    Tynee

    1. Hello Tynee, thank you for…

      Hello Tynee, thank you for reaching out to us and asking a great question, click on the following links to find out more on masturbation: 

      1. https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-no-shame-in-a-good-thing

      2. https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-1

      3. https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-2

      Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!

  40. I love this pice , now tell…
    I love this pice , now tell me, I am very addicted to musterbation, I have a girlfriend but when I want to musterbate I watch gay porn….

  41. Hello Del, thank you for…

    Hello Del, thank you for reaching out to us and we truly appreciate your positive feedback and are gaining something fruitful from our platform. Allow me to ask you why you believe you are addicted to masturbation. Secondly, what about gay porn arouses you when you are with a female partner? Looking forward to your response and know that we are here for you, have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!

  42. does using a dildo break…
    does using a dildo break your virginity?

    1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

      Hello Anonymous, thank you for asking a great question. 

      There are many different beliefs about what it means to be a virgin. Most people agree that women and men lose their virginity the first time they have penile-vaginal intercourse. Many people also believe that people who have sex with the same sex can lose virginity through oral or anal intercourse. Some also believe that people have to give consent to lose their virginity — that virgins who are raped, for example, do not lose their virginity. Nearly all people in the U.S. agree, however, that people who masturbate or have other kinds of sex play — including fingering or touching a sex partner’s genitals with the hands — are still virgins.

      There are still some people who think about virginity in a very old-fashioned kind of way. They believe that an intact hymen — the thin tissue that stretches across at least part of the opening of the vagina in most girls at birth — is the only proof of a woman’s virginity. Most people do not believe this. They know that each girl is born with a hymen, but that hymens come in a variety of shapes and sizes — and some girls may appear to have no hymen at all. Many people also know that it’s possible for a woman’s hymen to become stretched open through insertive masturbation as well as during sports and other non-sexual activities. Therefore, the answer depends on what you believe it means to lose your virginity. 

  43. Masturbating has side…
    Masturbating has side effects if it becomes too much
    Cos right now anytime I masturbate I ejaculate faster
    Please what the remedy

  44. Hello Unknownnnnn, thank you…

    Hello Unknownnnnn, thank you for reaching out to us and we are sorry you are going through a tough time. Masturbation for many is an activity that helps alleviate stress. Unfortunately, if there are certain things in your life that are bringing on more stress on than the masturbation can alleviate, this stress can lead to premature ejaculation. 

    What you are experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety, or even stress. The anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men, it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation.

    There are a few things you can do to improve control and last longer. In the short term, you can take short breaks during intercourse, you can also apply firm pressure underneath the penis during intercourse to push blood out of the penis hence decreasing sexual tension, distract yourself to think about other non sexual things or use penis desensitizers. Penis desensitizers come in the form of sprays and creams that can be applied on the penis minutes before intercourse and they help to delay ejaculation. Sometimes a condom can help reduce the sensitivity of the penis. 

    In the long term, one can ensure they eat healthily and avoid lots of processed foods, begin to exercise which improves blood flow in the body, reduce or eliminate the use of alcohol including smoking and more importantly reduce stress during intercourse. Foreplay will also play a critical role in preparing your partner and getting them closer to an orgasm.

    The following articles provide more information;-

    https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts
    https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

    Love Matters Team.

    1. We are very pleased to help…

      We are very pleased to help. Please feel free to look through the website to find other articles you may find helpful

  45. Musturbation is ok if you…
    Musturbation is ok if you have a partner, but if you don’t have it seems not to be good.

    1. Hi Boaz, what is the…

      Hi Boaz, what is the difference?

  46. We like masturbating…
    We like masturbating togetehr with my wife. Any problem with that?

  47. Hello Robinson, thank you…

    Hello Robinson, thank you for getting in touch and we are glad you asked a great question. As long as you both enjoy masturbating each other and it is mutually consensual, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, why do you ask?  

  48. Hello Victor Nice! Nice name…

    Hello Victor Nice! Nice name 🙂 Thank you for your feedback! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe! 🙂 

  49. Thenks 4 ur input first i…
    Thenks 4 ur input first i thought that musturbation is wrong

    1. Hi Rose, society has taught…

      Hi Rose, society has taught us all a lot of myths especially around sex but sometimes all we need is a little information to help us make our own decisions.

  50. In regards of dopamine rash…
    In regards of dopamine rash it’s said that porn and masturbation can reduce one’s ability to concentrate,impaired memory, impaired thinking and depression.
    What’s your suggestions about that?

    1. Hi Dom, thank you for…

      Hi Dom, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. excessive masturbation can cause all the symptoms you have mentioned and thus, why it is important to know your limits and do things in moderation.

  51. Can it lead to barrenness
    Can it lead to barrenness

  52. Hi Lükhshana, if by…

    Hi Lükhshana, if by barrenness, you mean infertility then no, it will not lead to that.

  53. By masturbating, I’ve gained…
    By masturbating, I’ve gained weight and length of my dick

  54. Hi Nerbert, are you sure…

    Hi Nerbert, are you sure about your statement? If you are over the age of 18, it is biologically not possible to increase the size of your penis. If you are still a teenager and going through puberty, then the bodily changes you are experiencing may be a result of your body growing. 

  55. I like putting my dick in my…
    I like putting my dick in my ass while masturbating is it bad

  56. Hello Wanjao, thank you for…

    Hello Wanjao, thank you for getting in touch and being open with us. Even if your dick is long enough, you’d probably only get the head of it in your ass and wouldn’t be able to have sex with yourself, only stick the head in and out of your anus, and even if this too is possible, it is important that you click on this link to find out more: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/guide-to-first-time-anal-sex

  57. Can musturbation make me…
    Can musturbation make me perform poorly in bed?

  58. Hello Ambrose, thank you for…

    Hello Ambrose, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. Contrary to popular belief, masturbation does not make you perform poorly. Click here to find out more: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

    Also, if you feel that you are experiencing poor performance in bed, click here to find out what may be the cause of the issue: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men

  59. Does musterbation leads to…
    Does musterbation leads to premature ejaculation during sex and makes you ejaculate faster than expected

    1. Hello Tonie, thank you for…

      Hello Tonie, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. Premature Ejaculation is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. The anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation.

      There are a few things you can do to improve control and last longer. In the short term, you can take short breaks during intercourse, you can also apply firm pressure underneath the penis during intercourse to push blood out of the penis hence decreasing sexual tension, distract yourself to think about other non sexual things or use penis desensitizers. Penis desensitizers come in the form of sprays and creams that can be applied on the penis minutes before intercourse and they help to delay ejaculation. Sometimes a condom can help reduce the sensitivity on the penis. 

      In the long term you can ensure they eat healthy and avoid lots of processed foods, begin to exercise which improves blood flow in the body, reduce or eliminate the use of alcohol including smoking and more importantly reduce stress during intercourse. Foreplay will also play a critical role in preparing your partner and getting them closer to an orgasm.

      The following articles provide more information;-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/male-body/premature-ejaculation-top-five-facts
      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

      Love Matters Team.

  60. Can one get hiv through oral…
    Can one get hiv through oral sex and can I take antibiotics and be safe during oral sex?

    1. Hello Ad, thank you for…

      Hello Ad, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. The risk of getting HIV from unprotected oral sex is extremely low and there is no need to take antibiotics before engaging in oral sex. It only poses a risk if the person giving oral sex has mouth ulcers, sores or bleeding gums, or the person receiving oral sex has sores on their genitals in which case, click here to find out more about PEP: https://lovemattersafrica.com/safe-sex/sti-prevention/preventing-hivaids-with-pep

  61. Hi I started masterbating in…
    Hi I started masterbating in my teen age. I’m now 33 married with children and I can’t go a day without it. I enjoy it when I stressed, or when I’m just aroused and my wife is in her periods, sick or tired or just not in the mood. She also masterbates when I’m tired or not in the mood . Or after having sex and she still wants more yet I’m exhausted. I love doing it when she watches and she also does it when I watch as I touch her nipples.. I love it and I wouldn’t want to stop.. sometimes I use a sex toy like a Fleshlight o add to the pleasure…

    1. Thank you so much for…

      Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Jimm, we really appreciate it and it honestly is quite normal and we wish that more couples could aspire to your relationship goals! Keep it up and have a wonderful week!

  62. Im married but I still…
    Im married but I still mastebate alot and it’s so nice I can’t stop .

    1. Hi Jimm, thank you for…

      Hi Jimm, thank you for getting in touch and thank you for sharing. Is masturbation something you would like to stop or something you would like to continue doing while married? Please let us know.

    1. Hi Anonymous, thank you for…

      Hi Anonymous, thank you for getting in touch. How can I help you?

  63. i love masturbating
    i love masturbating

  64. Hello Jonathan Bentley,…

    Hello Jonathan Bentley, thank you for sharing and we are glad!

     

  65. Help me please! how can i…
    Help me please! how can i get a white woman to fall in love with me.

  66. Waaah Phitie mouth job…
    Waaah Phitie mouth job imeweza

  67. I HV been in fear bcoz of…
    I HV been in fear bcoz of using masturbation fo several yrs bt now am free from any fear ,thx fo teaching us

    1. Hi Joab, we are so happy to…

      Hi Joab, we are so happy to hear the information has been of help to you. Please feel free to browse our website to find more articles that could be of help.

       

  68. Hello Simple, sorry to say…

    Hello Simple, sorry to say Love Matters Kenya is not a dating site and we cannot help you in this regard.

     

  69. I have been masturbating for…
    I have been masturbating for a long period now, and the amount of sperms I produce has totaly gone down. How do I overcome this problem of low sperm?

    1. Hi Bonifas, 

      How did you…

      Hi Bonifas, 

      How did you know your sperm count has gone down? If this is your own observation, it is important that you visit a doctor for a semen analysis. Some common signs of low sperm count include problems with sexual function — for example, low sex drive or difficulty maintaining an erection (erectile dysfunction) and pain, swelling or a lump in the testicle area. That aside, frequent  masturbation doesn’t lower your sperm count level. Your doctor may advise you to make the appropriate lifestyle changes to get your sexual health back on track. Either way, visit a doctor for tests to establish whether you indeed have a low sperm count. All the best!

  70. Some one mustabated but he…
    Some one mustabated but he is in married with no children could it be the cause?

    1. Hi Roger, 

      There is no link…

      Hi Roger, 

      There is no link between masturbation and impotence. Read this article for more accurate information: Masturbation: myths busted

  71. i take 30mins to ejaculate w…
    i take 30mins to ejaculate w/n murstabating,is bad,and why does my penis fall down immediately when am having sex

    1. Hi Ambz, 

      It is important…

      Hi Ambz, 

      It is important to visit a doctor for tests. It may be that you are suffering from erectile problems that may need specialized medical care. 

  72. Can masurbation causes body…
    Can masurbation causes body weakness and loss of musle

    1. Hi Uche, 

      No. Masturbation…

      Hi Uche, 

      No. Masturbation is a perfectly healthy practice. There are no known physical effects of masturbation as long as it is done right. For instance, avoid being too aggressive since you may be squeezing the life out of your penis and this can lead to a fracture. If you have these issues, visit a doctor for tests so that it can be established what is causing the problems you’re experiencing. 

      Wishing you all the best!

  73. But the Bible is against…
    But the Bible is against Masturbation and Calls it a sin
    What do u have to say about that

    1. Hi Eric, 

      Love Matters…

      Hi Eric, 

      Love Matters targets people from all religious beliefs and walks of life. If you feel that this article does not apply to you, that is totally fine. The most important thing is to be tolerant towards what other people do with their bodies as long as they do not make you do what you do not believe. 

  74. Is it evil to marstabate…
    Is it evil to marstabate…do marsturbation cause loss of sexual intercorse appetite?

    1. Hi Alex,

      No. Masturbation…

      Hi Alex,

      No. Masturbation does not cause loss of sexual appetite. With regards to whether it is evil or not, at Love Matters we do not consider it evil, we think that it is a very pleasurable act. 

  75. Can masturbation cause…
    Can masturbation cause premature ejaculation?

    1. No Boniface. Masturbation…

      No Boniface. Masturbation does not cause Premature Ejaculation. 

  76. This is great have learnt…
    This is great have learnt alot

LOVE MATTERS

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships