Close-up of a woman's face, blissful
© Love Matters | Rita Lino

Her orgasms

When you get sexually aroused your vagina becomes wetter, which makes it smooth and slippery. With more stimulation, you could climax (orgasm).

This is important because it makes it easier to make love. If your vagina isn’t wet, sex can be painful.

When you’re aroused:

  • Your vagina becomes wetter
  • Your clitoris begins to swell and grow larger
  • Your pupils (the dark centre in your eyes) get bigger
  • Your lips get redder or darker
  • Your heart beats faster
  • Your breathing speeds up and you may even make noises
  • Your nipples become harder and larger
  • Your boobs may even grow larger

When you’re really aroused, you might have an orgasm.

What happens when a woman has an orgasm?

When a woman has an orgasm, the pelvic floor muscles squeeze together rhythmically, tensing, and relaxing. Sometimes the womb contracts and relaxes, too.

This all gives an intensely pleasurable feeling in the pubic area, and some women feel it throughout their bodies.

Getting aroused

When you’re sexually aroused or turned on, your vagina becomes wet. The vaginal fluid or lubrication is smooth and slippery, which makes it easier for a penis or finger to glide inside. The colour of vaginal fluid varies from clear to milky white.

Your breasts also change when you’re aroused. Often the nipples get more sensitive and become hard, or erect.
Your mouth becomes more sensitive, and your lips look redder because there’s more blood flowing to them.
Women often take longer to get aroused than men.

A few tips:

  • To become wet and ready for penetration you need to be really aroused. Relax and take the time for foreplay.
  • When you make love, do whatever turns you on and feels nice. Or fantasise about things that turn you on.
  • Use lubricant. It’s slippery and actually works just like your own moisture, so the penis can slip inside more easily. For more on lubricants, see wetter is better.

Multiple orgasms and squirting

Women can have more than one orgasm in a row, not long after each other. This is because the clitoris returns to its normal size within 15 seconds of having an orgasm, and then it’s ready for stimulation again. Men take longer to recover after they ejaculate.

Some women squirt out liquid when they have an orgasm. This is vaginal fluid, not urine. Kunyaza, a traditional sexual technique from Central Africa, can make women experience incredible squirting orgasms.

How can a woman have an orgasm?

For most women, intercourse alone isn’t enough to trigger an orgasm. This is because the vagina is relatively insensitive, and the penis going in and out of the vagina doesn’t usually stimulate the clitoris – the most sensitive part.

You’re more likely to have an orgasm if you make sure the clitoris is part of your lovemaking, for example by rubbing it with a finger or licking. You can also try fingering and oral sex.

Some women find it very difficult to have an orgasm or don’t experience them at all. But you can still enjoy having sex without having an orgasm, and it may become easier after more experience.

G-spot

The G-spot is an area the size of a coin on the front wall of the vagina, about three to five centimetres inside. For some women, it doesn’t give any special feeling, but for others, it’s extremely sensitive.
You can stimulate it with your fingers, or with the penis in some sexual positions.

Keeping in step

Do you find that he comes more quickly than you do? That’s perfectly normal. Most men reach orgasm more quickly and easily than women. A couple of tips to help keep in step with each other:
Take time to build up your lovemaking. And make clear to your partner what you like.
Try to let go and just enjoy him touching you. You don’t always have to concentrate on him. He also finds it really arousing to see you enjoying his caresses.

Simultaneous orgasms

Did you both have an orgasm at the same time? You’ve been lucky! Usually, it’s not so easy to have a simultaneous orgasm. When you come, you’re usually thinking about yourself and not your partner.
If you manage to come at the same time it’s nice, but it’s also exciting to come one after the other. You can pay more attention to your partner and enjoy seeing him or her having an orgasm.

Sensitive spots

Your whole body can give you pleasure, but certain areas feel particularly nice when they’re touched. For women, it’s the vulva and vagina, and certainly the clitoris. But your neck, arms, breasts, and buttocks are also sensitive.

Breasts and sex  

Female breasts, and especially the nipples, are sensitive to touch and can grow harder and larger when you’re aroused. The areola – the area around the nipple – swells up and becomes slightly darker, and the skin goes bumpy.

Many women like having their breasts and nipples touched during lovemaking. Your partner can use fingers, lips, tongue, or even teeth. When your breasts are touched you often feel it in your vagina, which gets moist. It can be particularly nice if your breasts and vulva are touched at the same time.

Afterplay

It’s nice to enjoy cuddling, caressing, and talking after making love. Afterplay is particularly important for women.

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Recent Comments (278)

    1. Point taken,and how can I…
      Point taken,and how can I subscribe to these teachings in my mail

      1. Rodgers, we are not able to…
        Rodgers, we are not able to send you emails but you can regularly visit the website. You can also search and like the Love Matters Africa Facebook page where these articles are posted.

    2. Do you really mean some…
      Do you really mean some women never have an organism in their’e life

      1. Hi Anonymous, unfortunately…

        Hi Anonymous, unfortunately there are.

    3. I have learn alot from this
      I have learn alot from this

      1. Hello Anonymous, we are so…

        Hello Anonymous, we are so glad to hear this! Feel free to go through the rest of the site to find other articles that you may find helpful.

    4. Very educative.hw abt…
      Very educative.hw abt erection.ma pen is small whn numb bt gets very long whn erect.is it normal?

      1. Hi Edgar, thank you for…

        Hi Edgar, thank you for getting in touch and yes! This is completely normal for men. When your penis is not stimulated, there is minimal bloodflow to your groin which means that your penis will be small and flacid. When there is some form of stimulation, your brain sends signals to your groin that it is getting ready for intercourse and therefore your penis becomes long and hard when erect because there is a lot of blood flowing through your veins in your penis to maintain that erection so do not worry, this is completely normal. Have a wonderful weekend and stay safe buddy!

        1. Hi Steve, what is it you…

          Hi Steve, what is it you want to try out?

    5. I don’t have an orgasm when…
      I don’t have an orgasm when I have sex with a man but I usually have it while using my fingers

      1. Hi Liz, thank you for…

        Hi Liz, thank you for sharing this with us. It is completely normal for you to orgasm when using your fingers as opposed to when having sex with a man because you are more familiar with your body than he is when it comes to what pleasures you and stimulates you sexually. If you would to orgasm while having sex with your partner, then go through this article with him and explain to him what it is that arouses you the most so that he is in a better position to understand you and sexually satisfy you, dear. 

        We hope this information is helpful and we are always here for you. Please let us know how it goes and have a wonderful week ahead.

         

        Stay safe!

      2. You need to invest more on…
        You need to invest more on Romance, him sucking your boobs, nipples ?, licking the clit and the pussy.

        1. Hi Bonte, 

          Great techniques…

          Hi Bonte, 

          Great techniques! Those are definitely great techniques that can help a woman achieve an orgasm. 

      1. Thank you for your feedback…

        Thank you for your feedback Edy and we are so glad! Have a wonderful weekend and stay safe!

  1. Wow, I have learned a lot…
    Wow, I have learned a lot from all this.

    1. I want to have sex with you.
      I want to have sex with you.

      1. Hey Cleopas, who do you want…

        Hey Cleopas, who do you want to have sex with? Please note we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. All the best. 

        1. can i get a young lady of…
          can i get a young lady of between 19 to 26yrs old here..am working for kdf ..inbox am 29

          1. Hi, sorry to say Love…

            Hi, sorry to say Love Matters Africa is not a dating site and we cannot help you in this regard.

  2. I have learned a lot too…
    I have learned a lot too thanks to yu

    1. Mercy can we try it together…
      Mercy can we try it together am in nairobi

      1. Thank you for contributing…
        Thank you for contributing Richard.

        1. Hey Hassan, what can we for…
          Hey Hassan, what can we for you?

      2. Come to Mombasa we try it…
        Come to Mombasa we try it Mercy

      1. Hello Mercy, thank you so…

        Hello Mercy, thank you so much for your feedback and we are glad we are able to help! Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe! 

    2. Even i have learned..and lv…
      Even i have learned..and lv to have sex with woman most

      1. Thank you so much for your…

        Thank you so much for your input James. So glad to hear that you learned something.

      1. Hi Ibrahim, 

        Thank you…

        Hi Ibrahim, 

        Thank you. Keep it here for more informative content. 

  3. Wao . . . Am filled with…
    Wao . . . Am filled with knowledges now

    1. We are glad that this…
      We are glad that this information was useful to you Nath.

      1. Am full of knowledge after…
        Am full of knowledge after reading this.. Wow

        1. Glady can we give it a try?
          Glady can we give it a try?

  4. Wao danks alot i have…
    Wao danks alot i have increased my knowledge and l have note something i didn’t knew

    1. We are glad that this was…
      We are glad that this was useful to you.

  5. learnt a lot,,am greatful
    learnt a lot,,am greatful

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Aurelia.

  6. This is rlly incredible.i…
    This is rlly incredible.i hve learnt more thn jxt sexual arousement

  7. Hv learnt alot,thnx doc love.
    Hv learnt alot,thnx doc love.

    1. (No subject)
      We are glad you learnt something new Edward.

  8. such a funny and interesting…
    such a funny and interesting lesson…thanks for the lesson

    1. (No subject)
      We are glad you were entertained and learnt something new Gaylene.

    1. (No subject)
      We are glad you found the article useful.

  9. I’ve learnt much more than I…
    I’ve learnt much more than I knew..

    1. We are glad this is useful…
      We are glad this is useful to you.

      1. Thankx i hv learnt a lesson
        Thankx i hv learnt a lesson

        1. We are glad that you learnt…
          We are glad that you learnt something new Lilah.

  10. Text me on whatssap …
    Text me on whatssap for friendship please

    1. Hi Roony, you are welcome to…
      Hi Roony, you are welcome to Love Matters Africa.

    1. We are glad. Thank you for…
      We are glad. Thank you for the feedback Mwamuch.

  11. Highly educational. Thanks
    Highly educational. Thanks

    1. You are welcome Fredrick.
      You are welcome Fredrick.

  12. Sometimes my gal feels weak…
    Sometimes my gal feels weak and dizzy whenever we make out, like when I try to penetrate her G-spot n clitoris and at times when she feels like coming she doesn’t want to do it on bedsheets she requests me to ease herself in a bathroom.. Any problem with her?

    1. Hi Petre,…
      Hi Petre,

      Dizziness can be the result of inadequate blood pressure because of the excitement from the sexual activity. Your partner may need to pace herself and ensure she takes deeps breaths. I believe you mean when you penetrate her vagina since it is not possible to penetrate the clitoris or G-spot. When your girl is about to orgasm she also feels the same sensation as that of wanting to urinate and this is why she prefers to get to the toilet to avoid what might be an embarrassing situation. She could try emptying her bladder before intercourse so that she is at ease during sex. Try and make it easy for her by encouraging her to be herself and relax during sex.

  13. That’s perfect hoping one…
    That’s perfect hoping one time I will try

    1. Hey Doreen,…
      Hey Doreen,

      All the best. We hope you have a great experience.

  14. Wow tanks for De lesson…
    Wow tanks for De lesson actually have not experience it before so I don’t really understand it but I understand little

    1. Hey Adejoke, We hope this…
      Hey Adejoke, We hope this article helps you and your partner to get this experience. All the best.

  15. Jeez,so wonderful I have…
    Jeez,so wonderful I have learned just much more than that, so good teaching,how can I get mail’s,there is so much more I need to know

    1. Hey Sandra, yopu can…
      Hey Sandra, yopu can directly ask questions in the comment section on this website and we shall respond to you. You can also post your questions on our Discussion Board here https://letstalk.lovematters.co.ke/forum. You can also search our page Love Matters Africa on Facebook like it and send your questions and we shall be more than glad to respond to you.

  16. What could be the dangers of…
    What could be the dangers of masturbation in men

  17. What are dangers of…
    What are dangers of masturbation in men

  18. Y do some girls enjoy sex…
    Y do some girls enjoy sex but never stain orgasm?

    1. Hey Von, It helps to talk…
      Hey Von, It helps to talk with your partner and get to know what will get her there. Let her tell you or show you. Also, give attention to the clitoris which is one of the most sensitive part and can give a girl great orgasm. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

    1. We are glad this is useful…
      We are glad this is useful Rebbeca.

  19. Great article indeed, what’s…
    Great article indeed, what’s the remedy for premature ejaculation? Plz help

  20. Am happy with your teachings…
    Am happy with your teachings you love matters

    1. We are glad you find the…
      We are glad you find the information here useful Everline.

  21. Very educative. Learnt…
    Very educative. Learnt something today.

    1. Thank you for the feedback,…
      Thank you for the feedback, we are glad.

  22. Love sex but organism is my…
    Love sex but organism is my best problem might never have it even for months help please

    1. We hope that this was useful…
      We hope that this was useful to you Pesh.

  23. Wow! As informative as usual…
    Wow! As informative as usual. Ann, thanks for your dedication to keep us learned.

    1. We appreciate your feedback…
      We appreciate your feedback Linux.

  24. This is all good for a…
    This is all good for a normal person thax

    1. Hi Alex, not sure why you…
      Hi Alex, not sure why you mean by a normal person but thank you.

    1. Hope you have learnt…
      Hope you have learnt something.

  25. Why do I enjuculate less or…
    Why do I enjuculate less or no semen after going three time in her and how should I increase ma seamen

    1. Hi Fred, It is generally…
      Hi Fred, It is generally expected that after two shots the volume of semen in the third shot will be reduced. Afew things you can do however to generally increase the volume of semen include taking lots of fluids, eating healthy and avoiding processed foods, including exercise in your regular routine and eat lots of fruits and vegetables. You may even consider talking to your doctor for a prescription for supplements. You also need to consider avoiding the use of alcohol,and smoking. Remember however that an ejaculation is usually about 3.5 ml which is about a tea spoon full. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/male-body/ejaculation

  26. Thanks ,I have learned a lot
    Thanks ,I have learned a lot

    1. You are welcome Elizabeth.
      You are welcome Elizabeth.

  27. Waao av leart alot…..good…
    Waao av leart alot…..good teaching av not been havn orgasm for qt some tym

    1. Hey Washuu, we are glad…
      Hey Washuu, we are glad. Hopefully this helps.

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Denis.

  28. thanks,i’ve really learnt…
    thanks,i’ve really learnt alot

  29. Hello Jacky, thank you for…
    Hello Jacky, thank you for reading the article. Hope you found it useful.

  30. My breasts are like small…
    My breasts are like small balloons, round.

    1. Hello Amber, the shape and…
      Hello Amber, the shape and size of your breasts are determined by your genes, and to some extent, the shape is also influenced by the surrounding muscles. You may also notice your breasts get bigger or smaller if you put on or lose weight.

      The size of your breasts can depend on the time of the month, too: each month, hormones get your breasts ready for pregnancy. They get a bit larger and more sensitive. After your period they go back to their usual size and shape. Lastly, your breasts may also be affected by hormonal contraceptives like the pill. Check this article to learn more about your breasts: https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/female-body/breasts-top-five-facts

  31. Am from Uganda but I have…
    Am from Uganda but I have learnt a lot from you.but ineed a lover and
    my no.0772437503.am 32yrs.

    1. Hi there, unfortunately we…
      Hi there, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone.

  32. i like the page it is more…
    i like the page it is more knowledgable if u take the point carefully it can even make someone active in bed and make you patner enjoy

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Luke.

  33. Such a interesting lesson,…
    Such a interesting lesson, am grateful

    1. Glad you like the article. 

      Glad you like the article. 

  34. sijawahi kudo ,nitajuaje…
    sijawahi kudo ,nitajuaje this position is better for in bed for Orgasms

  35. Everytime tukihave sex my…
    Everytime tukihave sex my partner ejaculated too fast before we enjoy and then he takes very long to get another erection sometimes he gets why does this happen? Is there medicine or what is the solution?

    1. Hey Julie, What your partner…

      Hey Julie, What your partner is experiencing is know as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. There are a few things a person can to better control their ejaculation, check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

      On your second concern, it is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where the penis cannot get hard after ejaculation. When this happens, the body just needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, one should just try to work with their body. If partners are really hoping to have more sex, then it’s a good time to recharge and focus on their partner. This is a good time to focus on them and give them pleasure. He will become hard again in no time and continue. All the best.

  36. How can I know that may…
    How can I know that may partner is satisfied after we have sex?

    1. Hey Muoria, you could ask…

      Hey Muoria, you could ask your partner whether they are satisfied. Sex is better for both partners when partners talk about it. Talk to your partner about the sex experience and get to know what will get her satisfied. When you know what will get them there it will help improve the experience for you both and your partner will also get satisfied. Talk about sex, during and also after sex. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  37. My boyfriend always…
    My boyfriend always ejaculate very fast sometime even before he enters what is the problem?

    1. Hi, this means that your…

      Hi, this means that your partner gets sexually excited to soon. This is also called Premature Ejaculation, which may also be caused by fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. There are a few things one can do to better control their ejaculation. Check out this article for tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  38. How many times should I have…
    How many times should I have sex with my partner for her to be satisfied?

    1. Hi Antony, Sex is not just…

      Hi Antony, Sex is not just about quantity, you will find that for your partner quality is more important than quantity. It is important that you talk to your partner to find out what they like and want during sex and also share what you like and enjoy during sex. This way you focus on quality and just not the number of times you have sex making sex more satisfying to both partners. Check out this articles for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

  39. My girlfriend complains…
    My girlfriend complains about pain everytime we have sex. Sometimes it’s to much we have to stop the activity. What can be the problem, it is very disturbing for me. Please advise.

    1. Hey KG, pain during sex can…

      Hey KG, pain during sex can be caused by a number of reasons including dry sex where intercourse or penetration happens before the vagina is sufficiently lubricated. The other reason maybe the position used during sex, the presence of an infection and also psychological issues like stress, fear or anxiety. There are a few things that you and your partner can do to try and address this. For instance, you can spend more time in foreplay to get your partner aroused and for the vagina to lubricate and more importantly communicating during sex which may help your partner to relax before intercourse. Check out this article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-time-to-listen-up

  40. Very good education…
    Very good education education.

  41. My husband always finishes…
    My husband always finishes before me in less than 5 minutes. what can he do to stay longer we finish together we both enjoy?

    1. Hi Quin, What your partner…

      Hi Quin, What your partner is experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article for tips of what your partner can do to better control his ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  42. Premature is a big problem…
    Premature is a big problem to my partner what can he do?

    1. Hey Emmily, a good place to…

      Hey Emmily, a good place to start is by finding out what is causing the premature ejaculation. It  is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article for tips of what your partner can do to better control his ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  43. My girlfriend does not…
    My girlfriend does not become wet during sex nomatter how much I touch her making sex painful for her some times what is causing this issue and how can we sort it?

    1. Hey Sanchez, becoming wet…

      Hey Sanchez, becoming wet before intercourse is important since this makes sex easier and enjoyable for both partners. The reasons that may make her not to become wet could either be psychological or physical. It is important that you talk with your partner to get to know what exactly turns her on or gets her aroused. It is possible to feel you are doing it all right and perhaps it doesn’t get her. It also helps to spend more time in foreplay, communication during sex will help you to know if your partner is ready for intercourse or not. Lastly, you can consider using artificial lubrication like KY Jelly which can be purchased at a pharmacy. If the problem persists it is important that your partner seeks the advice of a health care provider. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-time-to-listen-up

  44. I ve learnt alot and I no…
    I ve learnt alot and I no wat 2 do now.thanx

    1. We are glad Jane, you are…

      We are glad Jane, you are welcome. 

  45. How can I know if my…
    How can I know if my galfriend has cum during sex?

    1. Hey, orgasm gives an…

      Hey, orgasm gives an intensely pleasurable feeling in the pubic area, and some women feel it throughout their bodies. This feeling is very intense if your partner has it, you will know she’s had it. While knowing when she has had an orgasm is important, it is more important to know what will get her to orgasm. Talk to your partner to get to know what get her orgasm. You can also have a look at the article above for more tips of what can get your partner to orgasm. 

  46. Thank you Love Matters…
    Thank you Love Matters Africa.

  47. My husband can only do one…
    My husband can only do one round after that he is out able to go for another tlround yet I want more what can I do to make him have atleast 2 rounds?

    1. Hey Hellen, this is…

      Hey Hellen, this is completely normal for men to have what is called a refractory period, where it cannot get hard after ejaculation. Honestly, the body just needs some time. There is no real way to change it or make it happen less, so just try to work with your partner. If you are really hoping to have more sex, it is important that your and your partner take time to recharge and he could also  focus on you during this time as he recharges. This is a good time for them to focus on you and give you pleasure, this he can do even before the penis gets hard again. He will become hard again in no time and continue. Find a good time and talk with your partner about what you want and enjoy during sex, sex is better when partners talk about it. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  48. my partner finishes very…
    my partner finishes very fast what is the solution for this?

    1. Hi Dona, What your partner…

      Hi Dona, What your partner is experiencing is know as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  49. If I have never had orgasm…
    If I have never had orgasm with my fiance does it mean I have a problem?

    1. Hey Shei, No it doesn’t mean…

      Hey Shei, No it doesn’t mean that you have a problem. However, it is important to talk with your partner about what will get you to orgasm. Sex becomes better when partners talk about it. Find a good time and take with your partner about what you like during sex and what will get you to orgasm. Sometimes, the issue is just that your partner doesn’t really know what will get you there. Check out the following articles for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

  50. Do women experience…
    Do women experience premature ejaculation.??

    1. Hey Stevie, very little is…

      Hey Stevie, very little is known about Premature ejaculation in women. However a study that was done in Portugal had these findings “The researchers were intrigued by the fact that very little has been written or noted about women who experience a premature female orgasm. Yet in a 2005 University of Chicago study (Sadock, 2005), nearly 10 percent of the women felt they had reached orgasm too quickly (e.g., before they had intended). 

  51. I feel pain when I have sex…
    I feel pain when I have sex with my boyfriend, what causes this?

    1. Hello Friday, pain maybe…

      Hello Friday, pain maybe caused by a number of reasons including having dry sex. This is when penetration takes place before the vagina is sufficiently lubricated or when the vagina gets dry during intercourse. Other reasons include the presence of an infection in the vagina and the position during sex. Getting to know what could be causing the pain in your case is helpful toward addressing it. Check out this article for more information;-  https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-time-to-listen-up

    1. You are welcome Jacky.

      You are welcome Jacky.

  52. woooow thanks for educating…
    woooow thanks for educating me nimelearn vitu mob sana na am sure zitanihelp

    1. Hey Jacky, we are glad, you…

      Hey Jacky, we are glad, you are welcome.

  53. I want to make my Penis so…
    I want to make my Penis so that my girl can enjoy and climax what can I do?

    1. Hi Dave, your question…

      Hi Dave, your question appears incomplete. What do you want to make your penis? About getting your partner to climax, vaginal intercourse only may not get them to climax since it doesn’t give sufficient attention to one of the most sensitive parts the clitoris. To get your partner to orgasm, make the clitoris part of your love making. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

  54. We recently got married sex…
    We recently got married sex has been a nightmare my wife cries in pain most of the time we have sex. We are trying to get a baby but most times I don’t finish inside her. What can we do to deal with the pain? Or will this change after we get used to having sex, we had never had sex before marriage?

    1. Hey Joel, so sorry about…

      Hey Joel, so sorry about this. Sex ought to be pleasurable and enjoyable for you and your partner. First time sex can be painful especially when the woman has not been well prepared and is not relaxed at the time penetration happens. This painful first time experience, can make subsequent experiences of sex painful because of the fear and tension associated with the first experience. Another reason for painful sex is dry sex and this is where penetration takes place before the vagina is sufficiently lubricated. When a woman is aroused, the vagina becomes wetter and this makes penetration easier and enjoyable for both. Other reasons that may cause pain include the presence of an infection in the vagina, the position during sex and as mentioned anxiety or stress. There are a few things that can be done to address these, check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/painful-sex-time-to-listen-up

  55. I have never experienced…
    I have never experienced this before. My partner always ejaculates very fast. Who might be the problem, me or him?

    1. Hey Shalleen, your partner…

      Hey Shalleen, your partner is experiencing premature ejaculation which is caused by a number of reasons including stress, anxiety or a lack of experience in sex. There are a few things one can do to better control their ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

      On the other hand, for you to get to orgasm you have to know what will get you there. Sex should give sufficient attention to one of the most sensitive part to achieve orgasm. Check out the above article for more tips. 

  56. Tried it and the experience…
    Tried it and the experience was mind blowing thanks for the teachings.

    1. Hi Glad, we are glad. 

      Hi Glad, we are glad. 

  57. My guy gets to climax very…
    My guy gets to climax very fast and we can’t have any more sex after, why is this?

  58. I had sex for the first time…
    I had sex for the first time I ejaculate too fast and I don’t know if my partner was satisfied what makes that to happen?

    1. Hi Biko, what you…

      Hi Biko, what you experienced is known as premature ejaculation. This is caused by a number of reasons including inexperience in sex which appears to be the reason in your case. Other reasons include stress, fear or anxiety and the fact that you could have been sexually excited too soon that led to the ejaculation. With time and experience one gains better control of their ejaculation. There are a few other things one can practice to try delay their ejaculation, have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  59. My girlfriend does like me…
    My girlfriend does like me touching her boobs she says they will grwo bigger tell me if this is true?

  60. Thenks a lot!!I have gained…
    Thenks a lot!!I have gained a lot.But i rarely get aroused even after romance and caresses.What got be the problem

    1. Hey Dorothy, the key to…

      Hey Dorothy, the key to getting aroused is to know what will get you aroused. It’s not just about caressing but where and how. Talk with your partner about what really turns you on. Sometimes you have to tell, show, teach your partner what to do to get you there. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/foreplay-dos-and-donts

  61. Wow..I’ve really learnt a…
    Wow..I’ve really learnt a lot.But i rarely get aroused even after caresses,romance and cuddling.Wat cud be the problem??

    1. Hey Dorothy, the key to…

      Hey Dorothy, the key to getting aroused is to know what will get you aroused. It’s not just about caressing but where and how. Talk with your partner about what really turns you on. Sometimes you have to tell, show, teach your partner what to do to get you there. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/foreplay-dos-and-donts

  62. Some questions for you Love…
    Some questions for you Love matters, 1. Is it possible for a man to know whether his woman had an argasm during sex? 2. Is it a must for a woman to get an orgasm everytime she’s having sex? 3. If it’s a must and she doesn’t should this be a health concern? Thanks.

    1. Hey Naomi, it is possible…

      Hey Naomi, it is possible for a man to tell if a woman has had an orgasm during sex especially when the orgasm is very intense for the woman. It is however better to ask if one is uncertain. Secondly, it is not a must for the woman or even the man to have an orgasm during sex. It is normal to not experience orgasm sometimes during sex.  This also, doesn’t mean that partners can’t enjoy sex even if there is no orgasm. This then means that there should be no health concern if one doesn’t experience orgasm all the time. Having an orgasm is greatly depended on whether one knows what will get them to orgasm and whether they have shared this with their partner. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

  63. My boyfriend ejaculates soon…
    My boyfriend ejaculates soon after we start having sex and then his penis becomes soft and we can’t continue s I never orgasm what can we do?

    1. Hi Cate, your partner gets…

      Hi Cate, your partner gets too excited too quickly and he is unable to control his ejaculation. This is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is also caused by fear, anxiety or stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make them ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as one gains more experience they also become better controlling ejaculation. After an ejaculation a man will loose his erection and may not be able to gain one for sometime. The amount of time it takes for one to gain another erection varies from one person to another. Allow sometime and soon your partner will be ready to have sex again. Check out this article for more information on how your partner can try manage this;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation 

  64. Why do I ejaculate less or…
    Why do I ejaculate less or no semen after going more than 1 round with her and how can I increase the amount of semen I produce?

  65. Thank you for the lesson…
    Thank you for the lesson. What can you do if your partner always ejaculates before you orgasm?

    1. Hi Mercy, what your partner…

      Hi Mercy, what your partner maybe experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation, where your partner ejaculates sooner than he wishes or you would like. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. On the issues of you getting an orgasm during intercourse, most women will not experience an orgasm through vaginal sex only since it does not give sufficient attention to the clitoris. Your partner have to either stroke it or lick it. On the other hand, there are a few things your partner can do to overcome Premature ejaculation, see the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

      Overcoming this will take practice and time, and for this reason your partner will need your support and understanding.  

  66. thagc it’s so educative to me
    thagc it’s so educative to me

    1. You are welcome Caleb, we…

      You are welcome Caleb, we are glad you found this useful. 

  67. I have discovered that I…
    I have discovered that I enjoy sex more when am on my periods. My guy has no issues having it at this time but I was just wondering is it safe or healthy to do it when on your Ps?

    1. Hello Irene. Thank you for…

      Hello Irene. Thank you for feedback. Keep reading our articles. 

  68. I only orgasm when I…
    I only orgasm when I masturbate but I dont when I am with my boyfriend

    1. Hi Nora, since you already…

      Hi Nora, since you already know what gets you to orgasm, all you need to do is share this information with your boyfriend. Sometimes, you need to tell, show and/or teach your partner what you like. Talking about sex helps to improve the experience for both partners. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

       

  69. My wife has been seriously…
    My wife has been seriously hindering me from having sex with her even touching her is a big problem, complaining of tiredness, headache, hunger etc, all these are to keep me away from going in but when I finally succeed in dragging her to it she may later persist that i should do more. What are the causes? And what do I do?

    1. Hello Solo, it is normal for…

      Hello Solo, it is normal for one to have a low sex drive. There are number of reasons that can lead to this including stress at work or at home, physical exhaustion or other physical issues. If this happens all the time, it become important to talk about it to find a solution. Start by talking about this with your partner so you can agree on how to address the causes. Generally, talking about sex helps to improve the experience for both partners. Check out the following articles for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/female-sexual-desire-ebbs-and-flows

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  70. This is good education I…
    This is good education I will try.

    1. You are welcome Jose, happy…

      You are welcome Jose, happy trying.

  71. My partner always finishes…
    My partner always finishes before me and he leaves me hanging what should we do to balance?

    1. Hi there, your partner seems…

      Hi there, your partner seems to be experiencing premature ejaculation which is caused by a number of reasons including stress, anxiety or a lack of experience in sex. There are a few things one can do to better control their ejaculation;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

      On the other hand, for you to get to orgasm you have to know what will get you there. Sex should give sufficient attention to one of the most sensitive part to achieve orgasm. Check out the above article for more tips. 

  72. Can a man make his penis…
    Can a man make his penis bigger so that a woman can feel him during sex?

    1. Hi Debbie, the only way to…

      Hi Debbie, the only way to successfully to increase ones penis is through surgery and this is also likely to present complications. Partners can enjoy sex regardless of the penis size especially because intercourse only may not lead to orgasm. Check out the following article;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/six-myths-about-increasing-penis-size

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/does-size-affect-your-sex-life

  73. After an intense sexual…
    After an intense sexual activity, my girl has been complaining of this pain around her nipple, what do you think can be the problem and possible solution?

    1. Hello Jay, sexual activity…

      Hello Jay, sexual activity can cause nipple pain among other reasons reason like pregnancy. Body friction or sexual activity that involves the nipples can cause soreness. This pain is usually temporary and is often treated by simply giving the nipples time to heal.

  74. He always finishes before me…
    He always finishes before me which gets me really pissed off because he cant do anything elae after that and I am left hangng. Why does this happen all the time?

    1. Dear Stacy,, what your…

      Dear Stacy,, what your partner maybe experiencing is known as Premature Ejaculation, where he ejaculates sooner than he wishes or you would like. It is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. On the issues of you getting an orgasm during intercourse, most women will not experience an orgasm through vaginal sex only since it does not give sufficient attention to the clitoris. Your partner has to either stroke it or lick it. On the other hand, there are a few things your partner can do to overcome Premature ejaculation, see the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation  Overcoming this will take practice and time, and for this reason your partner will need your support and understanding.  

  75. My partner always finish…
    My partner always finish first even when I encourage him to hold on. Its like he has no control. Could you tell what causes it and what to do for him to stay longer?

    1. Hey Jullie, it seems that…

      Hey Jullie, it seems that your partner maybe experiencing what is referred to as Premature Ejaculation. This is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make them ejaculate much earlier or stress from either the relationship or work could also affect how soon they ejaculate. In younger men, it could be the result of sexual inexperience, as one gets older however and also gains more experience they become better at controlling their ejaculation. There are a few things your partner can do to overcome Premature ejaculation, see the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation  Overcoming this will take practice and time. Try support your partner during this period.  

  76. Can a girl climax very early…
    Can a girl climax very early during sex?

    1. Hey Tina, yes a girl can…

      Hey Tina, yes a girl can climax much earlier than they wish to and this can affect their ability to continue with sex after climaxing. It help for one to take sometime and learn about their body and how it responds to sex to better control when one should climax. In some cases it could be the position during sex, in which case partners can choose not to start with such a position. Also, partners can take a short break before resuming sex or pleasure their partner using their hand or even mouth. It is important for partners to talk about this to find a balance that will work for them. 

  77. Can I get STD from licking…
    Can I get STD from licking vagina?

  78. Assuming you meet your…
    Assuming you meet your partner and just start sex without foreplay, is there any effect?

  79. I’m far from fiancee and…
    I’m far from fiancee and feel aroused. In nairobi, can someone help pls?

    1. Hello Rashid, sorry but we…

      Hello Rashid, sorry but we are not able to help you meet someone. Do you feel this is the right way to address your need for sex? Remember, this means you would be cheating on your fiance and the is like to hurt your relationship. There are  afew things you can do to make your long distance relationship work. Check out this article for some tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-love-keep-it-hot-with-this-proven-technique

    1. You are welcome Joy, enjoy.

      You are welcome Joy, enjoy.

  80. Should you stop having sex…
    Should you stop having sex when you are pregnant?

  81. Truly when wet is the best
    Truly when wet is the best

    1. Yes, wetter is always better…

      Yes, wetter is always better for both partners.

  82. Nice have taken something…
    Nice have taken something out of it thanx

    1. You are most welcome Dun Kiu…

      You are most welcome Dun Kiu! Always pleased to help and sending you love! 

  83. Wow! Just the first visit…
    Wow! Just the first visit but gained lots of knowledge. Thanks love matters 4 ua services. Mwaaaa

  84. We are very glad to be of…

    We are very glad to be of help Daniel! 🙂

  85. Good lesson learnt.
    I think…

    Good lesson learnt.
    I think this should both parties respo.to make each partner gain during sex.sometimes a parner remains dormant during the act and the whole Thing becomes Boring

    1. Hello Charlie, thank you for…

      Hello Charlie, thank you for sharing your amazing perspective with us and we are glad that you have learned something from our platform. We will continue to share more new exciting and informative articles for you to benefit from. Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe! 

    1. Hi Anonymous, thank you for…

      Hi Anonymous, thank you for your feedback.

    1. Thank you so much for your…

      Thank you so much for your feedback. We are pleased to hear this. Please feel free to look through the website to find other articles that you may find helpful.

  86. How cn i make ma beb arose…
    How cn i make ma beb arose faster?

  87. Hi Jayi, it isn’t one size…

    Hi Jayi, it isn’t one size fits all. If you want to know how to turn on your partner have a conversation with them and find out what turns them on. This is a great opportunity for the two of you to really explore and have fun with each other. Have fun!

  88. We are so glad that you are…

    We are so glad that you are happy and that our information agrees with you dear! Keep smiling, have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe! 

    1. Hi Victor, we are so glad to…

      Hi Victor, we are so glad to hear this. We are always pleased to help. Feel free to go through the website to find other articles that you may find of interest.

  89. DAT has been a good lesson…
    DAT has been a good lesson but I a problem of reaching organs esp for the first round.

    1. Hi Ali, this is perfectly…

      Hi Ali, this is perfectly normal. Not all bodies are the same and it is great that you understand yours. Just communicate with your partner so that they know how to pleasure you. Sex and pleasure is always better when the people involved talk about it.

  90. I have learn a lot. I will…
    I have learn a lot. I will try to put into practice. I normally do this but some area not

  91. Hi Mash, thank you for…

    Hi Mash, thank you for getting in touch and we are so glad that we are able to provide you with advice to make informed decisions. Let us know how it goes and knows that we are here for you. Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  92. Always pleased to help…

    Always pleased to help Beatrice. Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

  93. I will become expert after…
    I will become expert after reading this

    1. Hi Adriko, 

      Woohoo! Go thee…

      Hi Adriko, 

      Woohoo! Go thee and become an expert. I am glad Love Matters gave you great tips on how to make a woman orgasm. 

  94. I have thankful heart ❤…
    I have thankful heart ❤ because I have lean a lot in life .

    1. Hi Tony. 

      Love Matters…

      Hi Tony. 

      Love Matters appreciates your thankful heart. I am glad you visited Love Matters and learned a lot. Keep it here for more informative content. 

  95. Love matters countinue…
    Love matters countinue teaching young generation abt lovemaking

    1. Hi Mical,

      I’ll take that as…

      Hi Mical,

      I’ll take that as a vote of confidence, so thank you. We will continue providing exciting content on love, sex, and relationship. Thank you for keeping it here!

  96. I have a girlfriend who…
    I have a girlfriend who doesn’t like foreplay.

    1. Hi Eric, 

      I think it is…

      Hi Eric, 

      I think it is important to establish why she does not like foreplay; whether or not it happens in all sexual situations and not others. It is also important to give details about specific acts/things she hates about foreplay. This makes me wonder what about foreplay bothers her so much. Is it oral sex that you find gross? What about having her vagina tcouched? Is kissing on the mouth ok? Is there anything she enjoys during foreplay? What about intercourse? Read this article to see a case you can relate with: I hate foreplay! 

    1. Hi Wambui, 

      Glad you are…

      Hi Wambui, 

      Glad you are excited. Keep visiting Love Matters for more exciting content. 

  97. It was a nice lecture
    Those…

    It was a nice lecture
    Those nipples

    1. Hi Vasila, 

      Great! I am…

      Hi Vasila, 

      Great! I am glad you learnt something new!

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