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A surprising secret about women’s orgasms

Surprising research reveals a secret about women’s orgasms. It all comes down to the partner. Not a secret, you say? It is. Read on and be surprised!

The neglected orgasms  

Women’s pleasure isn’t as important as the enjoyment of the male partner. Sounds harsh, but that’s what it is. Pleasure for women wasn’t talked about for a long time – sex was about some wham-bang-thank-you-ma’am and the man’s orgasm.  

But that’s changing, thankfully. Even though men are still more likely to have orgasms during sex, sex should be fun for both partners. And, while sex and satisfaction are about so much more than just orgasms, they are a great part about it.  

The difficult orgasm  

Part of the issue is that for most women, it’s much harder to have an orgasm than it is for men. That’s because women don’t get encouraged to explore their bodies and what gets them off half as much as men do. And, the female anatomy doesn’t make it easy, either. Most women need their clitoris stimulated to have a chance at an orgasm – but most in-and-out vaginal sex doesn’t do anything for the clitoris.

Interesting fact: most straight couples only consider penis-in-vagina sex as ‘real sex’; oral sex or caressing each other isn’t ‘real sex’, for most people.  

The frustrating (non-)orgasm  

Orgasms aren’t just about pleasure. If a woman has trouble reaching an orgasm, she is more likely to be angry, frustrated, anxious, and sad, compared to her climaxing female friends. Orgasms aren’t just a nice thing to have, they are actually good for your mental health.  

The surprising secret to amazing orgasms 

One really important factor has so far been overlooked by orgasm researchers: a woman’s partner. That was a big mistake, recent research reveals.

Women who have sex with men are far less likely to climax than woman who are sleeping with other women.

Why? There are two possibilities. The first one is that women simply understand women’s anatomy better, understand how important the clitoris is, and what works for pleasure. The second option is that the actual problem is the men. As soon as a male partner is in the picture, things subconsciously revolve around him, and the woman’s pleasure becomes secondary.  

The solution

Seeing that changing your sexual orientation isn’t an option, what can straight women do to make sure that their pleasure is on the sex agenda?  

Know your body and what gets you off.  

Tell your partner, and instruct him. Positive reinforcement, and showing him what to do often work well.   Talk: let your partner know when you are not enjoying what’s going on, and your pleasure is just as important as his. 
And hopefully, your road to a mind-blowing orgasm is paved.


Do you have questions about orgasms? Head to our discussion board for help.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (42)

      1. Thank you for your positive…

        Thank you for your positive feedback Said and we are glad! Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe! 

    1. Very interesting. Thanks for…
      Very interesting. Thanks for the explanation

      1. Always pleased to help…

        Always pleased to help Raymond! Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

    1. You are welcome James.

      You are welcome James.

  1. Wt happens for women who dry…
    Wt happens for women who dry while having sex

  2. How do i know that my…
    How do i know that my partner is asexually satisfied

  3. How can you improve your…
    How can you improve your libido naturally?

    1. Hey Brian, a good place to…

      Hey Brian, a good place to start is to think about what could be causing the low sex drive. Sometimes it could be that a person is stress, physically exhausted or even depression. Some of the things you can do include dealing with any issues that maybe causing emotional distress in the relationship or at work, eating a well balanced diet and exercising regularly. Have a look at the following article for additional things you can do;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/aphrodisiacs-top-five-facts

  4. is it possible for someone…
    is it possible for someone to have sex without the spouse getting pregnant

    1. Hello Emmanuel, yes one can…

      Hello Emmanuel, yes one can have sex with their partner and they don’t get pregnant. But if you unprotected sex, their is a chance that your spouse will get pregnant. If you don’t wish to get pregnant it is important you consider using a birth control method. The method you chose is determined by how important it is for your spouse not to get pregnant. Have a look at the following articles for more information on how to choose birth control methods and the different types of birth control;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/choosing-the-right-birth-control/how-to-choose 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/birth-control/types-of-birth-control

    1. You are welcome Sambusa.

      You are welcome Sambusa.

  5. How woman can improve is…
    How woman can improve is libido

    1. Hello Maina, a low libido…

      Hello Maina, a low libido may be caused by a low libido could be caused by a number of issues including physical problems like illness, hormonal changes, psychological causes, or relationship issues.  Can you identify what the issue could be in what we have mentioned?

  6. Can i get a reliable girl or…
    Can i get a reliable girl or woman from this group

  7. Hi Victor, Love Matter…

    Hi Victor, Love Matter Africa is not a dating site and we cannot help you in this regard.

  8. I was circumcise wen I was…
    I was circumcise wen I was young, whenever I want to have sex with my partner am always scared, at times i scream, becos i have circumcised lady are never active i don’t know what to do

    1. Hello Faith, thank you for…

      Hello Faith, thank you for reaching out to us. Do you scream because you are scared? or pain? Please explain.

  9. Where is the G_sport?…
    Where is the G_sport? Because I never had sex before an my lady is expecting me to do that once I return from my trip,so I don’t want to mess things up.

  10. In my previous relationships…
    In my previous relationships I always had orgasm but in my marriage now I don’t think I’ve ever experienced that.
    What should I do to achieve that as it frustrates my husband too.

  11. What do I do to achieve…
    What do I do to achieve orgasm again: in my previous relationships I did enjoy orgasms but in my present relationship I haven’t achieved that if I don’t touch myself. And it frustrates my fiance too

  12. Hello Maya, thank you so…

    Hello Maya, thank you so much for getting in touch and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time but what you are experiencing is not uncommon and take heart, this is something completely normal and we have great news! Click here to find out more on what you can do to achieve an orgasm and have an incredible sex life with your partner: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

    Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe! 

  13. Salaam Aleikum and Eid…

    Salaam Aleikum and Eid Mubarak Hamida, thank you so much for reaching out to us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time but what you are experiencing is not uncommon and take heart, this is something completely normal and we have great news! Click here to find out more on what you can do to achieve an orgasm and have an incredible sex life with your partner: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

    Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe! 

  14. HOW TO I DO TO MAKE HER …
    HOW TO I DO TO MAKE HER ASK ME TO CONTINUE FUCKING HER AFTER CUMMING

  15. Hi am maurice recently i…
    Hi am maurice recently i found it hard to erect after forplay.What might be the problem.

    1. Always pleased to help Vin…

      Always pleased to help Vin. Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

    1. Always pleased to help…

      Always pleased to help Christine. Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

  16. What can i do to improve my…
    What can i do to improve my chances of squatting during love making

  17. How will I make her,squat…
    How will I make her,squat and ejaculate,and how do one play with clitoris

  18. Hi K, 

     

    The trick is to…

    Hi K, 

     

    The trick is to really gently and slowly stimulate the G-spot. As your G-spot gets stimulated and arousal increases, the erectile tissue will fill with blood. The G-spot and the labia will become larger. Stimulate gently.

    Unfortunately, not all women can squirt. It has been found that some women can squirt (high volume ejaculation) as they have well a well-developed Skene gland (like the prostate gland in men) that allows for squirting. Not all women have a well-developed Skene gland. This does not mean that they cannot achieve orgasms and enjoy sex. Women’s bodies vary in many ways. High and low volume female ejaculation varies from person to person; body to body; experience to experience. This is an important consideration to take. Don’t compare yourself to another person who can squirt, because you may start to believe that you are missing out. The truth is, you really are not. 

    The answer to this is also no. Not being able to squirt does not mean you cannot enjoy sex; in fact, you can have amazing sex and orgasms without squirting or ejaculating, so please do not put additional pressure on yourself.

    Remember: you can still enjoy a fulfilling sexual experience without ejaculating; so be safe and enjoy!

    In regards to the clitoris, you can begin by touching your labia without directly going for the clit for a bit. You can use your hand, toy, penis and mouth to play around with the clitoris. 

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