Laptop, standing for watching porn online and a reminder that it's not real
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is porn sex real?

Should everything you see in porn be replicated in the bedroom?

Have you ever tried sex skills you saw in a porn video? How did it go? Chances are, it didn't go so well. You are not alone!

Some porn videos should really have a 'Don't try this at home!' warning. The things we see, weh! 

From the massive penises, sex that goes on for too long, acrobatic styles, actors having multiple orgasms, and perfectly toned bodies, porn can leave you feeling insufficient.

You wonder why you have had several sex partners and yet to meet one with such high sex skills. Well, you need to sit down because neither do you possess such skills. 

Remember:

Not everything you see can be copied. Some things should be left to professionals. 

Porn isn’t exactly real

When you look at porn, you often see things most people don’t experience in real life. Sex involving several people, sex between strangers or blindfold sex - anything’s possible in porn.

But remember that sex in porn films is not like real-life sex. It’s like a fairy tale for you to fantasise about. Don’t expect real sex to be the way it is in porn films.

What’s more, the actors in porn films usually have bigger muscles and penises than most men. And the actresses are much thinner and have bigger breasts than most women – and they’ve often had breast enlargements or other cosmetic surgery. And does your girlfriend really moan as loudly as that – or come as easily?

Remember most porn is made for men, and only shows men’s fantasies. And in porn, no one wears a condom!

Be warned that STDs and STIs never take a break. Don't let porn actors mislead you. Some of them have actually admitted to contacting sexually transmitted diseases on set. You can too!

Porn pros and cons

Is it wrong to look at pornography? Well, you’re certainly won’t be alone if you do! In principle, there’s nothing wrong with being turned on by sexy films or pictures. It’s OK as long as you remember it’s not real life. But remember you’ve no way of knowing if the actresses were happy about taking part.

  • Be aware that porn on the internet often shows violence towards women, or women being degraded. And the women are only there to give pleasure to the men. You can fantasise about whatever you like, but there’s a big difference between fantasy and reality.
  • Porn can be addictive. It can even start to spoil real-life sex, because you find you start enjoying porn more than the real thing. And then you can start trying to make the real thing like porn, which isn’t going to work. If you find yourself wanting to watch more and more extreme kinds of porn, it’s time to stop.

Do you watch porn? Have you tried replicating what you see? How did it go?

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Love Matters
Fri, 07/24/2020 - 05:03 pm

In reply to by Anonymous

Hi Anonymous, sorry to say that sending porn is not part of what we do. However, a simple Google Search should help you find websites that do have that kind of content.

Hi Anonymous, sorry to say that sending porn is not part of what we do. However, a simple Google Search should help you find websites that do have that kind of content.

Hello Wickliffe, this is a great question. There was a study that found that anything between 33 seconds and 44 minutes is normal and there is no standard amount of time.

This article has more information on the study

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/how-long-does-sex-normally-last

Ahmed brian
Tue, 04/27/2021 - 11:11 am

In reply to by taru

if u are addicted to porn what can u do i. order to stop? and if u watch too much porn can it affect ur sex life in terms of having sex with ur partner since when ur watching porn videos u found urself erecting while if ur with partner its so difficult ro erect what might be the problem🙏🙏

Hi Ahmed, 

If you find out that porn is affecting other areas of your life such as work, relationships, hobbies, and sex, it may be time to work towards stopping or reducing the number of times you watch porn. It may be that you find sex in porn videos more exciting than real life sex. If you find difficulties reducing the number of times you watch, speak to a counsellor or someone you trust. 

Love Matters
Fri, 06/19/2020 - 04:55 pm

In reply to by CLEOPAS KAMAU

Thank you for your contribution Cleopas. Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe.

Hi Anilarge, thank you for your input. Porn looks great but it is important to remember that it is acted and that there is a whole production team that goes into making it look like that. It is very unlikely that your first time will be like that, and that is perfectly fine!

Hi, well you could make personal videos for your own consumption. However, according to the law in Kenya anybody who "downloads, distributes, transmits, disseminates, circulates, delivers, exhibits, lends for gain, exchanges, barters, sells or offers for sale, lets on hire or offers to let on hire, offers in another way, or make available in any way from a telecommunications apparatus pornography ... is liable, on conviction, to a fine not exceeding twenty million shillings or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years, or to both."

Hi Tttd, A good place to start is to find out what leads to the masturbation. In your case it is Porn. Start by avoiding porn and you will be able to avoid or reduce masturbation. Take each day at a time. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

Hey DiRoPe, we appreciate your contribution. However, even persons who are in relationships including marriages do masturbate and this includes wives. People mastubate fro various reasons including stress, releasing that sexual tension and sometimes their partner may just be away at the time.  Check this out;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-1

i do think about sex or when i see a sexy girl i just hide and mursterbate..i have a girlfriend but i tend to enjoy sex with older women because they say that i have a big dick and i know how to use it.i also have a sugar mummie..what can i do to avoid and stop sex with older women and musterbating....please help am just 20 years old from kenya
Hi there, you just need to need to make a decision not to have sex with older women if this is not what you want. Also, think about what could be leading you to having sex with older women and try and avoid those triggers. If you no longer want to be with the sugar mummy you need to be open with her a break up with her. Let her know you no longer want to be in the relationship. The same thing will apply to masturbation, if you feel you are overdoing it start by avoiding the triggers and try fill up your idle time with more meaningful activities. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is infact a great way to relieve sexual tension in a great and safe way. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/i-am-addicted-to-porn-and-masturbation
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