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5 things your partner shouldn’t do during sex

If you and your partner have reached the point where you’ve agreed to have sex, it’s likely that you’ll discuss it and are now comfortable enough to do so. But sometimes, especially if you’re still new to it, it’s not always easy to determine what’s good or bad during sex.

To help you get started, here is a list of five things that your spouse should never do during sex.

1. Pressure you to have sex

Before you and your partner ever consider having sex, you should have talked about it so that you’re both convinced you want to. You shouldn’t feel obligated to have sex with someone simply because you’re in a relationship with them or because you ‘owe’ them, but rather because you’re both comfortable and ready for it. Remember that you can quit having sex even if you’re in the middle of it. Your partner must accept your decision if you decide to stop having sex for whatever reason.

2. Force you to do something you don’t want to do

It can be fun to try new things during sex with your partner, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. This is why it is critical to be able to discuss sex with your partner so that you both understand your boundaries and limits.  A partner that respects you will be willing to go at your pace and take things gently with you.

3. Put you through painful sex

Sex may be uncomfortable the first time you have it, but it does not have to be painful. If your partner forces you to perform things such as having dry sex or skipping foreplay, you should let them know that you are not comfortable. Sex is meant to be pleasurable thus you have a right to say no if it is true. Painful sex is also harmful to your health because it can cause vaginal tears, which increases your risk of sexually transmitted diseases.

4. Ignore your needs

If your partner ignores your desires during sex, this is not a good indication and may indicate that they simply want to pleasure themselves. A sexual partner will always make sure to meet your needs and listen to you when you indicate you don’t like what they’re doing.

5. Remove the condom without your consent

This is known as ‘stealthing,’ and it happens when your partner removes the condom without your knowledge or permission/consent. This is extremely risky since it increases your chance of sexually transmitted illnesses and unintended pregnancy. It’s also a breach of trust and an indication that your partner doesn’t respect you as much as they should.


When sex includes people who have consented, it should always be the rule that all persons involved are respected and considered. Nobody should make you do anything that you don’t want to and you are not required to do anything that you don’t want to. Sexual assault occurs when your partner forces you to do actions during sex that you find uncomfortable. Always prioritize yourself and your own health first.

What other things a partner shouldn’t during sex?

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LoveMatters Africa

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