man and woman in bed with half body covered in white sheets

7 biggest turnoffs during sex

Sex is a pretty vulnerable act. We let go of ourselves and share our vulnerabilities with our partners.

Before and during sex, there are things that turn you on while others can really turn you off. 

Both men and women have serious ‘turn-offs.’ These are things that contribute to them losing sexual desire or interest.

Men generally are sensitive to their egos while women are more sensitive to things affecting their feelings and most turn-offs can be linked back to this. A turnoff could be caused by anything: From your partner’s behavior, words, or even actions that can generally make you extremely self-conscious, embarrassed, or nervous.

Dating is all about being sensitive and caring, it involves cultivating your partner’s interest and sexual desire. To ensure you have a relationship that is mutually successful, you have to be open to your partner’s needs and wants, and identify their turnoffs. Some of the turnoffs can actually be red flags that can be potentially threatening to the survival of your relationship.       

  1. Fear of pregnancy

    The fear of unwanted pregnancy will inhibit arousal in women. If you are not ready to have a baby, then use protection which has the other advantage of protecting you from STIs.

  2. Mentioning an ex’s name

    ‘Oh Caro!’ you moan, her name’s actually Wambui! Oops. Your credibility just went out the window and, no doubt, the passion likely went with it – probably forever. Be present, refrain from thinking about your ex. No one likes to be compared. Maybe you should go back to them instead of wasting someone else’s time.

  3. Not listening

    This is a really common issue for women. She tries to communicate what she wants during sex and it doesn’t get taken up. You are just focused on yourself and your needs.

  4. Poor Hygiene

    Hygiene is a must while having sex. No one wants to kiss a stinky mouth or smell your smelly armpits or filthy genitals. Don’t confuse dirty sex with unhygienic sex. Clean up!

  5. Expecting one partner to do everything

    There are moments during sex when you just want to lay back and enjoy the pleasure ride. However, letting your partner do the heavy work all the time will lead them to the exit door. Be a team player. 

  6. Not open to experience

    The realm of sex is beyond imagination. While you may become comfortable with one sex position and not willing to experiment, you have to bear in mind that your partner may be craving different sexual experiences. Meet them halfway and give yourself space to learn and try new things. It will spice up your relationship.

  7. Talking big and not delivering

    Men who talk a big game but can’t follow through don’t rank high on the attractive meter. There are people who brag about how when they get you in bed will destroy you and leave you not waking for a week. You know them. But the game is to be sold not to be told. Show, don’t tell.

In conclusion

Most turn-offs can be avoided if you are intentional about learning each other. A relationship is about growing deeper in knowledge and in love with each other by being open and providing a safe space for the other to express themselves.

What are your turnoffs during sex? Talk to us in the comments section.

did you find this useful?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (2)

  1. This is amazing talk and I…
    This is amazing talk and I’ll share it with my partner.

    1. Hi Fred, 

      Glad that you…

      Hi Fred, 

      Glad that you learned something new. When sharing with your partner, ensure that you do not do it in a way that you are accusing him/her. Ensure that you make a fun discussion where you explore how each one of you discusses your turnoffs. 

LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships