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Jealousy and other problems

A little bit of jealousy is common if you have strong feelings towards someone. But when jealousy goes too far, it could have a bad effect on your relationship.

Jealousy and insecurity

How do you know if your partner is being obsessively jealous? There are a few tell-tale signs. They might get angry when you talk to other people or do things on your own. They might stalk you, demand your computer passwords, check your text messages, listen to your phone conversations, or constantly complain that you’re not giving them enough attention.

Jealousy is a difficult trait to shake off, but it’s possible if you try. The first step is to realise that being jealous makes life difficult – for you as well as for your partner. After you’ve acknowledged that, it might be a good idea to share your concerns with your partner. Learn more about how to deal with jealousy in our Jealousy: top five facts.

Insecurities may also crop up in unequal relationships where one partner feels he or she gives more than the other. If you’re feeling uneasy or unhappy in a relationship, try to talk about it with your partner. Communication goes a long way towards solving insecurities.

How to talk to your partner if you get jealous

Jealousy can be a hard feeling to overcome. It’s even worse if a partner has cheated on you in the past, or left you for another person.
To make sure jealousy doesn’t ruin your relationship, it’s important to talk openly before something happens. Talk about how you feel about your partner talking with people of the opposite sex – but remember that it shouldn’t be any problem for either of you to have friends of any sex.

If you notice your partner talking closely with another person, don’t immediately accuse them of flirting or wanting to sleep around. Avoid saying things like:

‘I can’t believe you were flirting with that girl in front of me!’

‘I bet you wanted to sleep with that guy since you were talking so much with him!’

Instead, you both should agree on how far is too far, and understand what actions make the other person uncomfortable – such as touching or holding hands with friends. If you really felt that your partner was flirting with someone, explain the situation and how it made you feel.

‘When you were talking with that girl, I felt ignored and it upsets me.’

But your partner might feel they weren’t flirting at all. Be ready to accept that. After you have calmed down, suggest coming to a solution together. For example, if one of you is talking to another person you don’t know, you could agree to introduce each other as boyfriend or girlfriend early on, so the new person knows you’re a couple. Find what works for you and your partner.

Lack of attention

Most of us have a strong emotional desire to be in a relationship. We start feeling dissatisfied if we’re not getting the attention we need. So if your partner goes on a business trip and doesn’t call you the whole time, you might feel neglected – and annoyed!

If you feel that your partner isn’t paying attention to your needs the way they used to, you might start worrying that something’s gone wrong. There could be another explanation – perhaps they’re just very busy with other things. But it could mean that they’re starting to lose interest in the relationship.

Of course, this works both ways: if you’ve been feeling stressed and working more than usual, for example, your partner might be feeling neglected.

In either case, it might be good to have a talk. It always helps to discuss your needs and expectations of the relationship. A lack of communication often leads to misunderstandings. Letting your partner know both what you want from them and what you can offer could give your relationship a fresh start.

Sexual dissatisfaction

Sex is an important part of any intimate relationship. If sex gets worse or stops all together, it could affect your emotional bond too. You could be left feeling dissatisfied with your relationship if your partner doesn’t want to have sex as often as you do. Or the other way around – perhaps you just can’t keep up with your partner’s high sex drive.
It’s completely normal for one person to want sex more often than the other in a relationship.

If your partner says they don’t feel like having sex, respect their feelings and don’t pressure them into it – it’s likely to put them off sex more and more. And if you’re the one who doesn’t feel like having sex – perhaps because you’re too tired or stressed – instead of just saying ‘no’, try suggesting a time in the not-too-distant future when you’ll definitely be up for sex and romance.

You might also find that you’re turned on by very different things. Maybe your partner wants oral sex, but you’re not keen on it. Or you like it rough, but they prefer gentle. Again, pressuring your partner into something they don’t fancy will never be good for your relationship. Talk about it, and see if you can find a compromise.

If you’re unhappy with your sex life, communication is key. Don’t blame your partner or make them feel inadequate – you don’t want to damage their self-esteem, and sex is a very sensitive subject. Be open and approachable. Listen to what the other person has to say, and try to understand their point of view.

Growing apart

Long-term relationships sometimes phase out because both partners have outgrown each other – people change over time, and perhaps you’ve both been moving in different directions. You might realise that the two of you have different ideas about life and what you want from the relationship.

This could be because you haven’t really talked to each other for a long time. Working on your communication could help bring you back together.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (343)

  1. I have problems with my…
    I have problems with my relationship

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Dora,

      Do share your problem so we can support you.

      1. My ex stop calling for no…
        My ex stop calling for no reason after 4month he called me and was begging for us to come back but i refuse because of all he did he post all kind of pics of his gf my friends call me immidiately they saw his post because they no i blocked him they send all his update wit his gf day are showing me all Because day knw dat i love him but to be sincer i truly love him he his the only guy dat i av ever date and loved but we are still talking but i still love him but my friends want me to live him and move on but i cant and all i told him was i cant date u wen u hav another girl cause i wont be confortable and i will be jealous since den to love or date has been a big problem to me and dis wil make it 2years i av not dated another guy because am scared to love

        1. Hi, so sorry about this. The…

          Hi, so sorry about this. The unfortunate trust about relationships is that not all of them last for a lifetime even when you have done your very best. It appears that you have not moved on from this break up while your ex has this is why there is someone else in his life now. I suggest you do the same, you allow yourself to move on. It may take time, it may be difficult but for you to get into another fulfilling relationship. Just because one relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean your next relationship will not work. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

          1. That’s what I lost
            Before I…

            That’s what I lost
            Before I had a girlfriend for almost four years and now she cheated on me but it is not easy for me to move on what can do now????

          2. Hey Fred, so sorry about…

            Hey Fred, so sorry about this. The unfortunate truth about relationships is that not all of them will last a life time. At times even when you have done your best a relationship may not work and when this happens all you can do is to move on. It maybe difficult but you need to accept as a first step that your relationship did not work and this was not your fault. It takes time to heal but eventually you will heal from this break up and move on. Have a look at the following article for some tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

      2. I am into a relationship but…
        I am into a relationship but my challenge is that the girl in question is not educated what should i do?

        1. Hi David, thank you for…

          Hi David, thank you for reaching out to us. How is this affecting the relationship?

        2. If you love her go ahead and…
          If you love her go ahead and make her to be who you want her to be

          1. Thank you for your input…

            Thank you for your input Esther. 

    2. Am staying with my boyfriend…
      Am staying with my boyfriend he comes home late I don’t know what’s wrong when I talk to him he doesn’t listen wat do I do now?

      1. Hi Nthabeleng,…
        Hi Nthabeleng,

        We can imagine how frustrating this is to you. Have you talked about why he coming home l;ate always? This might help you find a solution or a way forward. It maybe important you talk about your expectations in the relationship so that together you can agree on how to proceed. It may help to approach the conversation from a place of wanting to find a solution. Check out the following article for tips on communication.

        https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

        1. I need someone to date me plz
          I need someone to date me plz

    3. My boyfriend like girls,and…
      My boyfriend like girls,and I’m jealous of that.so what will I do 2 stop him?

      1. Hey Lois, have you talked to…

        Hey Lois, have you talked to your boyfriend about this? You need to talk with him about this, let him know how you feel this is affecting yo7 and the relationship. Remember, you may not be able to stop him, this is a decision he needs to make and choose to commit to the relationship you have with him. Find a good time and have this conversation with him. have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

      2. U HV to do why ever he want
        U HV to do why ever he want

        1. Thank you Oluwabukola for…

          Thank you Oluwabukola for your contribution. It is important to recognize that you are equal partners in a relationship and that when there are issues partners need to talk about them and resolve them.

      3. Good communication gives…
        Good communication gives room for Openness in relationship

    4. Is good dating your best…
      Is good dating your best friend brother and the two are very close

      1. Hey Agbo, there is nothing…

        Hey Agbo, there is nothing wrong with you dating your best friend’s brother especially if your friend is not interested in getting into a relationship with you. If he is however, interested in being more than friends, this will affect your relationship with him. 

    5. My partner is a very jealous…
      My partner is a very jealous type what I my going to do

    6. I am owning my friend and he…
      I am owning my friend and he needs his money because I promise to pay him since almost 6month now but I have not paid him, now his no more talking to me, he don’t even want to see me by his side again, he doesn’t even call me on phone again, please tell what to do. I don’t want to lose him,we love each other. Please tell me.

      1. Hi Chi, thank you so much…

        Hi Chi, thank you so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that you are in distress. It is possible that your friend has an issue over not being paid. If you are unable to pay them soon, reach out and let them know this but also make an effort to make a payment as soon as you can.

      1. We are very pleased to help…

        We are very pleased to help. Please feel free to browse the rest of the website to find other articles that would be of help.

    7. I have problems with my…
      I have problems with my relationship. I am too jealous and I really feel insecure mostly when he talks to the female friends. This is because I lost trust in him since I felt like he cheated on me, I saw the evidence in his phone but he denied. What can I do to gain the lost trust?

      1. Hi Brenda, thank you for…

        Hi Brenda, thank you for getting in touch and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. Jealousy, that gnawing feeling when you see your lover flirting with someone else. Or you overhear a phone call from an ex. Maybe you suspect your partner is cheating. Or maybe you’re just the jealous type. Too much jealousy can wreck a relationship but we are so glad that you are conscious of this and are here to help! Click here to find out more:

        https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-top-five-facts

        Furthermore, there is a brilliant way to turn how you are feeling into something constructive for both of you and urge you to check out this article to strengthen trust: 

        https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-turning-destruction-into-construction

        We hope this information helps and please feel free to reach out to us if you have any more questions! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe. Happy 2021!

         

  2. Am 24y old now and i have a…
    Am 24y old now and i have a boyfriend…. This boy he invite his Ex girlfriend kwake, soo one day nikaenda uko and i find uyo dem uko and i was shocked nini uyo dem Anafanya uko… Soo i ask the boy dem ni nani and he told mi ni cuzo yake…. After some days i find the girl akifua nguo za boy mpaka za dani soo i did talk.. A few minutes nikaita dem and i ask her to tel me the truth… Alafu akanishow alikua Ex girlfriend, for now am married to that guy bt am steel dout yeye coz nilifukuza dem and I get married…
    Pliz i need your advice niache kufikilia uyo dem all the time…

    1. muache ye nimawaida kwasasa
      muache ye nimawaida kwasasa

    2. (No subject)
      Hi Eva,

      Kama uliamua kuolewa na yeye na pia yeye akakubali kukuoa inamaanisha yuko committed kwako. Ni muhimu umutrust na kama kuna sababu yeyote inafanya usimuamini ni poa muongee kuhusu hiyo sababu ndio pia yeye akuhakikishie yuko committed kwako. Tafuta time nzuri muonge kuhusu relationship yenu na pia umwambie kuhusu kile wewe unatarajia kwa hio relationship yenu na pia yeye akwambie so that you can build your relationship from there. You also have to make a decision to trust him now that you chose to marry him. We wish you well.

    3. Maji yakimwagika Dada…
      Maji yakimwagika Dada hayazoleki. Meaning mapenzi yao yaliisha ikabaki mazoea.Mazoea yaana tabu penda chalk wako achana na huyo Ni mazoea tu si some thing serious I’ve experienced such too.

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution Mary.

    4. Loh no comments it’s so sad
      Loh no comments it’s so sad

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution.

  3. Am Lydia 21yr old am married…
    Am Lydia 21yr old am married bt not comfortable in my marriage

    1. (No subject)
      Hey Lydia,

      What has made you uncomfortable in your marriage?

  4. My boyfriend has been…
    My boyfriend has been ignoring me for days over a little misunderstanding we had few days ago. He doesn’t pick my calls , he doesn’t reply my chat. What do i do ?

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Glory,

      It appears what you maybe thinking was just a small misunderstanding was not so for your boyfriend. Perhaps you need to begin by acknowledging his concern with whatever it is you disagreed about this way you can move forward from there. Apologize, which may help get things back to what they were. Do give it time before you reach out especially if he is not answering. We wish you well. Check out the following article for more information:-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/good-fights-versus-bad-fights

    2. Just give him a little space
      Just give him a little space

      1. Thank you Choice for your…

        Thank you Choice for your contribution. 

  5. Am dating a married man and…
    Am dating a married man and love him so pls need ur advice

    1. Hey Nana,…
      Hey Nana,

      I am not sure what advice you want… But is dating a married man what you want? What is the future of your relationship? Think about what you want not just now but also in the future and think about whether this relationship will give you what you want.

  6. I have the problems one day…
    I have the problems one day I phone my boyfriend he didn’t answer my call I send him a msg cos I was so agree for him ,from that day his not taking my calls ,I send more than seven msgs to apology but his not responding ,his not taking my call now I don’t know what to do I try all my best to make things okay but it not helping

    1. Hey Zee, You seem to have…
      Hey Zee, You seem to have done all you can to reverse this situation. All you can do now is just give him sometime and see if he will have a change of heart. You need to be prepared since things may not go back, he may not want to get back and if this the case you will to respect his choice.

  7. I’m wit a guy dat i love…
    I’m wit a guy dat i love very much and he loves me too but my problem is he has a sister and he is the one taking care of her,he care so much for his sister that sometimes i feel ignored. Wherever i ask him for money he complains he doesn’t have but wat bothers me most is dat he always tell me i hav to buy phone for my sis,i hav to buy that for my sister and that or really bothers me that sometimes i feel jealous of his sister. Pls wat should i do

    1. Hey Vic, You need to be…
      Hey Vic, You need to be honest with your partner about this. Remember it is important that you do not try to come between him and his sister but rather to just let him know what the lack of attention toward you makes you feel or does to your relationship with. This is something that can happen in a relationship, for you it is a sister, for another it could career, a new business/job or project. Find a good time and talk about this. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-turning-destruction-into-construction

    2. I have a problem with us…
      I have a problem with us ladies who are over independent to our boyfriend, giving when dating shouldn’t be an obligation, it should be a way of appreciating, please don’t subject that he has to give you money, maybe he needs your support, maybe he feels responsible for the sister, these guys have feelings to yoh

      1. Hello Serah, thank you so…

        Hello Serah, thank you so much for your contribution and we appreciate your opinion. Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  8. Hi…
    Hi
    My girlfriend has been behaving weired of late. Whenever i call her as we used to call each other night i find out that she is ever on phone and whenever she finds out i was trying to reach her out,she does not return the phone calls and the next morning she is not even bothered and am the one to call again…when i try to ask she says she has been talkng to a friend…i try to make her open up..atleast by asking her whats the problem might be since am seeing the changes but still she says she is fine.. help me out because i love this girl and i was thinking of giving her personal space till the day she will open up

    1. Hi Hamisi, It is important…
      Hi Hamisi, It is important you find a good time and have a face to face conversation wit your partner about these issues. You need to let her know the changes you have observed and what this is doing to you and the relationship. Talk about your expectation in the relationship and have her also tell you what she expects. Communication is essential for any relationship and when there is none or very little partners may begin to grow apart. We wish you well.

  9. HELLO,MY ISSUE WITH MY MAN…
    HELLO,MY ISSUE WITH MY MAN WAS THAT HE ALWAYS TALKED TO A LOT OF WOMEN AND WENT INTIMATE WITH THEM BUT WHENEVER I COULD TALK ABOUT IT, HE WOULD SAY THAT IM TOO JELOUSY WHICH INDEED HAPPENS INCASE YOU SUSPECT A THING,WE BROKE UP WHAT WOULD I DO

  10. Ihave problem of trusting…
    Ihave problem of trusting due to past relashinships.as result i love for short period and i remove myself before i am hurt

    1. Hi Trish, It is never easy…
      Hi Trish, It is never easy to completely move on from a break up especially when it is your trust that was broken. The reality about relationships is that not all will last forever. When one fails, take time to think about what went wrong, allow time for you to heal and then when you are ready get into a relationship. You seem not to have gotten over your past, and for you to have a great relationship you will have to move past your past experiences. Look back at your past relationship, see what went wrong, learn out it and do better in a future relationship.

  11. Relationships are really…
    Relationships are really problematic… Trust is fragile so being alone to me is the best option

    1. Indeed relationships require…
      Indeed relationships require work and you have to choose whether you are willing to put in the work to make it work. But again if being alone even if it is just for the moment is the better option then for you it is the right thing for you. All the best.

  12. Hi Guys ,…
    Hi Guys ,
    Kindly note this every relationship require three pillars 1.Respect. 2.Trust.3.Love. You will never enjoy any relationship without any of the three even if you meet an Engel forget it they work for your good relationship together and NO one is favoring the other in this case You two made it happened. All You need also is understanding and being able to have dialog among you a cross the table please don’t text meet one to one ,I believe on that.

    1. Thank you Rourke for sharing.
      Thank you Rourke for sharing.

  13. Hi am Angela i have a…
    Hi am Angela i have a boyfriend and i love him but found out recently that he is cheating……i found messages of him with other women on his phone but when i confronted him he says there are from the past…. i get jealous anytime i think of him with other women………i had initially planned on living him but he convinced me not to….we are still together but am afraid jealousy is consuming again especially since he is my first love and the first man i gave myself to…..what do i do?? my best friend advice me to leave him for good

    1. Hello Angela, Jealous is…
      Hello Angela, Jealous is destructive to a relationship. Perhaps you need to talk to your partner once more and share out your concerns and fears and both of you find ways to work out it. You mentioned that he was cheating on you but when you asked he said no, were you bale to solve this issue? Remember a healthy relationship is built on open communication, honesty, trust and mutual respect.

  14. My bf,doesn’t cal or txt me…
    My bf,doesn’t cal or txt me everyday wen I ask him abt it, he always say that he has no interest with phn bt sometym he is online bt can’t text,he tells mi that he is serous with mi n ask if we can inform parents obt our rlationship. I don understandwat

    1. Communication is an…
      Communication is an essential part of any relationship. You need to let your partner know how this is affecting you and the relationship. If you are uncomfortable with moving the relationship forward let him know so you can both agree on how to proceed.

    2. Hi my name is Nancy ,,I uv a…
      Hi my name is Nancy ,,I uv a boyfriend..I love him,but he hardly calls me but wen ever I ask him, he will always tell me day he is not a calling type,he has introduce me to his parents ,I don’t understand him

      1. Hi Nancy, we are so sorry…

        Hi Nancy, we are so sorry you are having such a hard time, it is understandable that you would be a little frustrating. Communication problems can cause difficulties in a relationship especially if you have different types of communication. Have a conversation with him and try and come to a compromise about how you communicate with each other.

  15. Ilik him bt i dont love him…
    Ilik him bt i dont love him advice

    1. Joyce, what advice would you…
      Joyce, what advice would you like? Do you want to be in a relationship with a person you just like and not love?

  16. My boyfriend is cheating on…
    My boyfriend is cheating on me so much receiving calls for another ladies
    coming bk wen the t shit having lipstick n makeup. ..
    am so confuse I don’t know want to to
    n is not only once

    1. My sorry for what happened,…
      My sorry for what happened, and if you can accept my love so i will wiped your tears

      1. We appreciate your…

        We appreciate your contribution Musa. 

  17. My ex galfrd had to organize…
    My ex galfrd had to organize a group to beat me when I refused to agree to marry her as a second wife.we have a son together and she really loves me.anytime I ask to sleep with her she can’t resist.my parents can’t accept her to be married by me.I don’t want a second wife

    1. Hi Simon, it is important to…
      Hi Simon, it is important to match your actions with your words. If you do not want a second wife, you need to make it clear to her and also try not to sleep with her. As long as you are having sex it won’t be possible for you to move on. Talk about how you plan to participate in raising the child you have together. Remember, by keeping up with this relationship you are cheating on your wife. Lastly, do you really want to be with a person who got you beat up for not choosing them?

  18. I love a man that we have…
    I love a man that we have meet just 4 wks ago I love him and he said that he love me 2 bt I don’t know if his serious about that and it as reach a point I even slept with him….I only need your advise to let me know how to know if am a man love you to are the action or sign that will let you know that

    1. Hi Evalyn, You may want to…
      Hi Evalyn, You may want to start by asking him how he feels toward you. Also when you spend time together does he talk about a future that includes you, is he free when around and does he talk about his deep feelings… All these can be pointers of how he feels toward you but for clarity talk to him and find out exactly how he feels toward you.

    2. Hi am mercy I hv this bf…
      Hi am mercy I hv this bf whom I love so much but I feel he doesn’t love me the same way I do..he rarely talk to me..he cn be online on WhatsApp but doesn’t talk to me if I don’t txt first.. could it be that he doesn’t love me at all..

      1. Hi Mercy, I am not able to…

        Hi Mercy, I am not able to tell you whether he loves you or not. However, it is important for you to talk about this with him. Communication is an important part of any relationship, without which partners begin to grow apart straining their relationship. Talk with your boyfriend about your concern so so that together you can agree on how to proceed. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  19. I have a problem of poor…
    I have a problem of poor communication with my girlfriend when we break for holiday from compus she stay without chatting with when I text her she does not reply even call when she feels like replying she tells me she is always busy with house chores through out the day she does not understand how I feel without communicating with her

  20. I don’t know what to do he…
    I don’t know what to do he is drifting apart he has no time for me sometimes he takes long to reply my text all the love we shared and good moments are no more need advice how to bring back that joy and love we had when we started our love

  21. I have been in a…
    I have been in a relationship with my partner for the last 3 years and 6 months ago we decided to mobe in together. At first all was well and we were both happy but now we can go for days without talking to each other. We seem to be disagreeing all the time about things I don’t even know. I still love and I think he still loves me what can we do to get back to where our relationship was?

    1. Hi Debbie, your relationship…

      Hi Debbie, your relationship is experiencing problems like all relationships do at some point. What makes the difference is how partners choose to resolve the issues. Arguments are normal in a relationship, but when they are too frequent they may indicate a deep seated dissatisfaction in the relationship and it is important to stop and address this dissatisfaction or where the arguments are coming from. Do find a good time to talk to your partner, together you can talk and find out where the fights are coming from so that you can address the issues. Communication that is open and honest is key for any relationship, it will help ensure that you address issues in good time before you both start hurting or hurting each other. Check out the following articles for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/good-fights-versus-bad-fights

  22. I broke up my ex months ago…
    I broke up my ex months ago but we are still in the same social circles and I think he has started seeing someone else. I get so angry when I see them together. He is the one who cheated. What should do to avoid this feeling?

    1. Hi there, so sorry about the…

      Hi there, so sorry about the break up of your relationship. The sad reality about relationships is that not all of them will last forever. When a relationship fails all you can do is to move on. It may take time to heal from a breakup but time is indeed a healer. You will eventually heal but you also need to take steps toward healing. These may include taking sometime off those social circles since being in the same space with him is not helping. Remember this was not your fault but getting over him and the breakup will take your personal effort and initiative. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up We wish you all the best.

  23. I don’t think my partner…
    I don’t think my partner loves my body especially my breast. I think they are tiny and he wishes they were bigger. What can I do to enlarge my breast? I love and I want to make him happy.

    1. Hi Bella, first it appears…

      Hi Bella, first it appears that this is something you think, has he ever said that he wishes you had bigger breast? There is really nothing you can do to get your breast bigger other than surgery, the size and even shape of your breast is as a result of your genes. It is important you talk to your partner if there is anything he may have said or done that gave you this impression so that it is clear to you what he meant. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/female-body/breasts

  24. I have been married for…
    I have been married for about eight years now and I am very unhappy. I can’t remember the last time I was happy in this relationship. I don’t know what happened that I lost the husband I knew. Now, he is o ly focused on his work and the work routine. I miss him and so do the children. When he is at we hardly have a meaningful conversation. We are together but we live very separate lives we no longer have anything in common. I no longer feel like I have an energy left to carry this along. I want to quite.

    1. Hi There, so sorry about…

      Hi There, so sorry about what is going on in your relationship. All relationships have challenges or problems from time to time, how partners choose to address the problems when they come up is what makes the difference. Have you talked to him about these specific issues? There seems to be a communication breakdown in your relationship. If you can both work on the communication in your relationship it may help give your relationship a chance. Do you feel that your relationship has a chance? If you do, find a good time and talk with your partner to see if he is willing to work on the issues and pay more attention to you and the children. We wish you all the best, have a look at this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner 

  25. I have dating a man who I…
    I have dating a man who I now suspect he is married. He has never invited me over to his place but over the last few weeks he has spent most of his weekends at my place. When I ask to visit he comes up with some fake excuse. I really do love him but I just can’t shake this feel g that he is lying tome. Should I just trust him or confront him?

    1. Hi Joey, if you feel there…

      Hi Joey, if you feel there are things that ae not clear about your partner, it is important that you raise this concern with him. If you choose not to, the suspicion will only grow and sometimes if you hold to your opinion of an issue you may be end up taking things the wrong way. Find a good time and talk with your partner about this, the intention is to find out what could be going on and not to accuse your partner of cheating. 

  26. We have been on a…
    We have been on a relationship break with my partner. We decided to do this because he can’t just keep his hands off other women. Now he says he has reformed and is ready to stick by me. I am not sure about going back I just want to break up with him completely and move on. Do you think people who have a history of cheating can actually change? Help. Me make the right decision.

    1. Hi There, it is not possible…

      Hi There, it is not possible to predict for sure if some will change and fully commit to a relationship. It comes down to whether you can trust him again, whether you believe him this time and trust that he has changed.Take time and think about what you want and whether you are willing to try it out again with him, if you are not ready it is time for you to formally break up with him and let him know that you wish not to continue with the relationship. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  27. My partner is very verbally…
    My partner is very verbally abusive especially when he is drunk. He usually apologizes when he is sober but the things he says are usually very hurtful the apology does little to make me feel better. This is the only person I have ever dated and I still love him am I normal?

    1. Hi Eva, first you are…

      Hi Eva, first you are completely normal, you are inlove with this person. Unfortunately this is your partner’s response. It is important for you talk about what is going on and whether he is happy in the relationship or not. It is possible he is only able to say how he really feels when he is drunk. Find a good time when he is sober for you talk about what could be going on. Lastly, you are not responsible for his choices and actions and for this reason you need to take sometime and think about whether this is what you want for a relationship. If not, it is time to break up. We wish you well. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/sexual-harassment/how-to-deal-with-abusive-partners

  28. I don’t think my…
    I don’t think my relationship can be salvaged. I want to break up with him but I don’t know how and I also want to do it in such a way I don’t hurt him so much. Please help me how…

    1. Hey Winnie, break up are…

      Hey Winnie, break up are tough and infact unless he wants it and is expecting it he will be hurt. If he is still in-love with you and is unwilling to let you go, he will be very hurt. This however should not stop you from breaking up with him if the relationship is not working for you. The way to do this is to be honest with him, to be clear about where you are in the relationship but not be cruel to him like you have mentioned. Find a good time and an ideal place for you to do this. Try not to engage in a conversation where you are trying to explain reasons since his reaction will be to try and convince you to stay and you just might find your self postponing the break up even though you know its not working. Check out this article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  29. Why are relationships so…
    Why are relationships so hard. My life was much simpler when I was single. Why?

    1. Hey Edith, so sorry that…

      Hey Edith, so sorry that relationships have caused more pain than joy. The reality is that all relationships will will have challenges from time to time and what makes the difference is how you choose to resolve the issues. Open and honest communication is an important part of any relationship since with this you as partners are able communicate and resolve issues without hurting each other or the relationship. Communication will also help you isolate the issues so you can better address them. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  30. I just learnt that I and my…
    I just learnt that I and my friend are in love with the same guy. She actually came to ask me how she should approach him and I was shocked, tongue tied. I think she stands a better chance to get him than I. We were interrupted so I know we shall pick up this conversation again… Should I tell her that I also have feeling for this same guy?

    1. Hey Angie, this is quite a…

      Hey Angie, this is quite a tricky situation considering you are close friends. It really depends with what your relationship is and how revealing your feelings toward this shame person will mean to your friend considering she said it first. Also, you don’t know who he maybe interested in or willing to have a relationship with between the two of you. You have the option of not acting on your feelings at all or going ahead and letting him know how you feel and if he is interested you can go on and have a relationship. Whichever option you choose, there will be consequences, the important question is which consequences are you willing to live with. Take time and think about your options and then make an informed. 

  31. Hello, my issue with my man…
    Hello, my issue with my man was that he is always talking to a lot of other women and I suspect he has been intimate with atleast one of them but whenever i raise this issue, he say that I am too jealous. I am thinking of breaking up with him because he has refused to change.

    1. Hey Darlin, it is clear that…

      Hey Darlin, it is clear that how he relates with other women is concerning to you and your partner doesn’t seem to think there is a problem neither does he seem to want to atleast address your concerns and reassure you of his commitment to your relationship. There is really no way to tell if he has been intimate with any of the other women, you however need to decide whether this is something you are willing to accept and live with or you can’t accept it and in which case it maybe time for you to breakup and move on. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  32. Hey I got a girl I love her…
    Hey I got a girl I love her but the problem is I caught her cheating on me with her ex bt she asked for forgiveness and promised never to repeat. I forgave her though sometimes I get a feeling she is just pretending to love me. how can I secure our relationship and we be good again becoz I don’t want to loose her she is the best I got so help me out

    1. Hi Ken, the first thing you…

      Hi Ken, the first thing you need to clear is the doubts you have about her. You need to be honest with her and talk with her about you concerns and fears. You also need to think about where the suspicion is coming especially now that you already forgave and agreed to move forward together. This should help in your conversation, think about whether you have a reason or whether it is just a feeling based on the past. One of the things that will help make your relationship stronger is open and honest conversations. This will help ensure that you are able to talk about problems and resolve them without hurting each other. You also need to express your expectations in each other and the relationship. Find a good time and what you each expect from each and from the relationship, now and in the future. We wish you well. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

  33. Hi My girlfriend has been…
    Hi My girlfriend has been behaving funny of late. Whenever I call her as we used to call each other at night I find out that she is ever on phone and whenever she finds out I was trying to reach her out,she doesn’t even call back not even the next morning. when I try to ask she says she has been talkng to her friend. I have tried to get her to open up about what the problem is but i have not been successful. help me out how to help her open up before i give up this relationship.

    1. Hey Rob, it is important you…

      Hey Rob, it is important you and your partner talk about this. It is important that you talk about what is going on in the relationship, you need to share with her what your expectations are in the relationship as you also allow her to share with you what her expectations are in the relationship. This way you can then agree how to proceed. Communication is key in any relationship, with communication partners are able to address the issues in the relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  34. I love him but he doesn’t…
    I love him but he doesn’t trust me he thinks am cheating but am not what should I do!

    1. Hey Triza, have you talked…

      Hey Triza, have you talked about this with him? You need to talk about this and find out where this lack of trust is coming from so you can address it. It is important to reassure your partner of your commitment to the relationship. Find a good time to have an honest and open conversation so that together you can find a solution to this issues. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  35. My boyfie always compares me…
    My boyfie always compares me to his ex. I have found a love text on his phone from his ex and he denied and said there was nothing that the girl wanted sex but he refused because we were together. for every small thing he will say something about his ex to make me feel like I am not good enough. I am tied of this I want to quit do you think he can change?

    1. Hey Emily, I couldn’t…

      Hey Emily, I couldn’t possibly tell if your boyfriend will change. However, it seems he is not over his ex and this maybe why he keeping comparing you to them. It is important that you talk about what this constant comparison is doing to you and your relationship. Perhaps if he is aware of what this is doing to you, he maybe open to changing and appreciating you for who you are without comparing you to anyone. Find a good time to talk about this. Wish you well. 

  36. I have not moved on from…
    I have not moved on from past hurts and for this reason I have a problem of trusting. As result I only love for short period of time and then I come up with some excuse to end things for me to exit the relationship.

    1. Dear Mirriam, it maybe…

      Dear Mirriam, it maybe challenging for you to get into a new relationship and be happy if you have not healed from past break ups. Break ups are tough, but life does move on after a break up. Take time to heal from these past break ups for you to move on. Forgive the other persons but more importantly forgive yourself and realize that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Even after you have done your best, sometimes a relationship may not work. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  37. Is there a problem with me…
    Is there a problem with me as a lady dating a person who is almost 20 years older then me?

  38. I think my partner is bored…
    I think my partner is bored with me what can I do?

    1. Hi Dollie, what makes you…

      Hi Dollie, what makes you feel your partner is bored with you? Have you talked about this issue with them? A good place to begin is to talk about what could be going on from your partner, holding on to what you think may lead to misinterpretation of issues. Find a good time and talk to your partner so that together you can agree on how to proceed. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  39. My relationship is falling…
    My relationship is falling apart and I don’t know what to do…

    1. Dear Jessie, we are so sorry…

      Dear Jessie, we are so sorry about this. Have you thought about why this is happening or what is causing this? Have you talked with your partner about what is going on in the relationship? It is important that you find a good time and talk to your partner about what is going so that together you can try find a solution. Open and honest communication is an important part of any relationship and it also helps to address problems in the relationship. Have a look at this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner We wish you all the best.

  40. I have a problem with my…
    I have a problem with my relationship. I need advice pls

  41. I think my husband no longer…
    I think my husband no longer loves me, he never says he loves me and we are not having sex as before. He complains of being tied and I am beginning to think he might be sleeping with someone else. How can I know the truth?

    1. Dear Nasike, there no way to…

      Dear Nasike, there no way to tell for sure if your partner is cheating on you. Best thing to do is to talk to him about what you have observed or what your your concerns and fears are. Be honest with your partner about how this makes you feel. Holding on to your thoughts may lead you to making the wrong conclusion about what maybe going on. Find a good time and talk about this so you can agree on how to proceed. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/how-can-i-know-my-partner-is-cheating-on-me

  42. What if your partner is…
    What if your partner is angry all the time what do you do?

    1. Hello Aggie, do you know why…

      Hello Aggie, do you know why he is angry at all time? Is it work, home or are there other factors triggering the anger? You could start by finding out what is the cause of his anger then from their you decide which is the best way to solve the issue. Communication is key element in any relationship, you may also consider talking to him and sharing your concerns and fears. Check out this article for tips on how to talk to your partner: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  43. My boyfriend is always…
    My boyfriend is always manipulating me. He doesn’t want me to even have male friends. I am thinking of quiting this relationship, should I?

    1. Hey Carole, have you talked…

      Hey Carole, have you talked to your partner about this? It is possible that your partner has insecurities especially where other men are involved. You may need to reassure him of your commitment to him and the relationship you have with him. Try this out to see if he is willing to make it work before thinking or deciding to quit. If it doesn’t work and he is unable to trust you, you may have to consider breaking up. We wish you well. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  44. I have a problem with my…
    I have a problem with my girlfriend who puts out everything about our relationship on social media. There is nothing we can do together in privacy and I don’t like it. I have allowed for a long time now I don’t know how to make it stop all her friends do it? How can I break Tito her that I don’t want her toput out everything?

    1. Hey James, the way to break…

      Hey James, the way to break this to her is to be honest with your partner. Open and honest communication will help improve your relationship. Find a good time and talk with your partner about this, let her how it affects you and the relationship and finally the need to keep some of the things about your relationship private. Check this out;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  45. Hi Love Matters, I am older…
    Hi Love Matters, I am older than my boyfriend by about 5 years. We love each other but people keep saying that you should a man who is older for the relationship to work. He is already taking about marriage will this relationship work for us?

  46. My fiance has been silent on…
    My fiance has been silent on me this week not taking my call or responding to my text. What can I do?

    1. Hi Sarah, there is no way to…
      Hi Sarah, there is no way to tell what may have led to this. It may also be too early to conclude that there are issues. I suggest you give it some time before reaching out again. Hopefully, he will at some point respond to you and explain to you what could be going on.

  47. My love ignore and tolds me…
    My love ignore and tolds me that she has pregnant of someone else and she is married and once i meet she isn’t married …and i apologise to her yet she ddnt listen and i left her please can you advive me

    1. Hi Joseph, sorry about this…
      Hi Joseph, sorry about this. There is little you can do if a person doesn’t want to be with you. If she said she is already with another person including a pregnancy, you can only let her go so you can also move on. Breaking up can be tough, but it gets better with time and you will feel better with time. This was not your fault and all you can do now is move on. Have a look at this article for more tips on coping with a break up;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  48. my first love has started…
    my first love has started behaving differently offlate thats;she takes too long to reply my text messages when i call her she may or not respond to the call .i have tried as much with every means to avoid her because already amenihurtbreak but nimeshkndwa nitafanyaje kindly

    1. Hi Ezekiel, do you want to…

      Hi Ezekiel, do you want to be with her or you want to break up? If you want to be with her, you need to talk about the lack of communication between the two of you and get to know what could be going on. You can then agree on how to proceed moving forward. On the other hand, if you do not wish to continue with the relationship it is important that you let her know and break up with her to make it clear to her. Be honest with her but not cruel as you break up, preferable y in person. Have a look at the following articles;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

       

  49. my fiance and I argue about…
    my fiance and I argue about every little thing. I think he is now bored and looks for the slightest thing to argue about. I am getting really tired of all the fights I dont know how to deal with all this since he thinks that I am the one on the wrong all the time. Please help…

    1. Hello Keziah, it is normal…

      Hello Keziah, it is normal for partners in a relationship to disagree on different issues from time to time, however when the fights or arguments are too frequent it may be an indication of dissatisfaction in the relationship. How partners choose to resolve the said differences is what makes the difference. It is important that you and your fiance have an honest and open conversation to find out where this is coming from, this way you can together find a solution to the underlying issues. We wish you well, check out this article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/fighting-dos-and-donts 

  50. Thanks for the advice. I…
    Thanks for the advice. I fell in love with this Guy a year ago but I just found out he was married but is now separated with two kids. He didn’t tell me this from the beginning. Pls help me because I feel like quitting the relationship.

    1. Hey Seph, have you shared…

      Hey Seph, have you shared with him what your concern with this is? Like you mentioned, he was married, which is in the past. It is important you share with him your concerns about his past and together agree on how to proceed. However, if his past relationship ended and there are not intention to mend things, there is no reason for him not to move on and get into a new relationship. We wish you all the best.

  51. When should you give up on a…
    When should you give up on a relationship?

  52. I am dating a guy who lives…
    I am dating a guy who lives and works in another district he only comes over the weekend but it is now 3 weekends and he only says he is busy at work and not able to come. Could he be cheating on me with another person?

    1. Hi Rose, it is not possible…

      Hi Rose, it is not possible to tell if indeed your partner is busy with work or something else is going on. I suggest you share with him your concerns alongside your fears and give him a chance to give you an explanation or an assurance of his commitment. This is tough conversation to initiate and for this reason, choose a good time and also try not to accuse him of cheating but seek to find what could be going now that he is not visiting as regularly as he did before. Check out the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  53. I lost my job and my…
    I lost my job and my girlfriend left me. She refused to pick my calls or respond to my texts. Landed a new job and she magically appears will all kinds of reasons 3 months later. I still live but I can trust her anymore, I want to break up with her but I don’t know how!

    1. Hi Joan, do you mean you…

      Hi Joan, do you mean you still love her but you don’t know how to break up with her? You need to take time and think about what you want moving forward. If you choose to continue with the relationship, it will be important that you talk about the fact that she left and address that. If you however no longer trust her and you don’t wish to get back together with her, you will need to be honest with her and let her know how you feel and break up with her. The way to do it is to be honest but not cruel. Trust is an essential part of a relationship, and if you are unable to trust her it maybe time to break up. Check out the following article;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  54. I came back from work where…
    I came back from work where I had been for 2 years and found my fiance was married to another person with one child. She says it was a one time but after she became pregnant she decided to get married to him. We still love each other, can you advice us?

    1. Hello George, I can imagine…

      Hello George, I can imagine how confusing this situation you are in is. maybe you need to ask yourself some few questions: what do you want as George? She has a child, are you ready to take up the responsibilities? What does she want? How will you rebuild the trust?Think a little more about the situation then make an informed decision. 

  55. After I moved in with my…
    After I moved in with my boyfriend he has changed we never talk like we did before, he always seems to be bothered by something that he doesnt share. I dont know what to do…

  56. I have always give my…
    I have always give my boyfriend enough attention whenever I am off work,in which he always call and show caring, but now I have been stressed and working more than usual. And now he he does not call nor care for me again like before and it makes me feel neglected. Please I need your advice what should I do

    1. Hello Kemi, sorry about this…

      Hello Kemi, sorry about this. Have you talked about this with your boyfriend? Communication and spending quality time together is an important part if any relationship. It is important that partners create time to spend together but more importantly communicate frequently. In situations where your partner is not calling, you could try an initiate the communication. It is importantly that you do talk with him and let him know what you have observed and how it makes you feel so that together you can agree on how to proceed. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  57. None of my relationships…
    None of my relationships lasts longer than 6 months I dont know why?

    1. Hey Gabu, sorry about this…

      Hey Gabu, sorry about this. Take sometime and think about what leads to the breaks ups. Think about the possible pattern that’s common in all the relationship. This way you can try and address this in your next relationship. It is also important that you think about what you want from a partner and relationship before getting into another relationship. Lastly, before getting into a new relationship ensure you have healed from past hurts. We wish you all the best.  Check out the following articles;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/will-your-relationship-last-read-what-science-says

  58. My galfriend still chats…
    My galfriend still chats with her ex boyfriend. I have tried to talk with her about it but she still continues. They even chat late at night, what can I do to make her stop this because I still love her very much?

    1. Hey Michael, I am not sure…

      Hey Michael, I am not sure you can make her stop she would have to make that decision herself. Has she told you why she still feels it is important that she keeps in-touch with her ex boyfriend even though it bothers? Since you can’t make her change, you will have to think about whether this is acceptable and you will ignore it or it bothers you so much you can no longer be in her relationship with her. Think about it and then make an informed decision. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/my-gf-is-talking-to-her-ex-should-i-be-worried

  59. I have a problem with my…
    I have a problem with my relationship now we have been dating for almost six now but the problem is she is always become bitter when I put my other sex friend on my status or see the name on bracelet which i make she always claim that I have unfiar with them

    1. Hello Stevejayson, do you…

      Hello Stevejayson, do you mean you are seeing more than one person at the same time? If this is the case you need to make a decision as to whom you want to be with because it may not be possible to be with them both. If you however broke up, it maybe important that you ensure your relationship with your ex does not interfere with your current relationship.Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/dealing-with-your-ex

  60. I like a give but I think…
    I like a give but I think she is playing me how can I be sure she likes me also?

  61. My boyfriend gets very…
    My boyfriend gets very pissed when he sees me talking to other guys I don’t know why. I feel he too controlling I just want to break up with him.

    1. Hey Sallie, have you talked…

      Hey Sallie, have you talked about this with your boyfriend? He seems to have either trust issues or he feels some jealousy when he sees you with other men. It is important that you talk about this and get to know where his concerns are coming from. This you can both agree on a solution and how to proceed. We wish you all the best. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  62. My girlfriend had many…
    My girlfriend had many boyfriends before we met I didn’t know this until this last weekend. She always made it look like she only had one guy and not 7.i can’t trust her anymore our relationship has been a lie all this time.

    1. Hi Silas, it seems the…

      Hi Silas, it seems the revelations about your girlfriend past has made you loose trust her because she wasn’t truthful from the beginning. It may help to try and get to know why she felt it was important for her to withhold some of this information. Also, this is in the past and it may not have an effect on your relationship today. If however, you are unable to trust her moving forward, it maybe time to break up. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  63. I have been dating my…
    I have been dating my partner for 3 years. He wanted us to get married but I am still in university so I told him to wait I complete. This year he said I should have his baby since I will complete school in a few months. I don’t want a child now but I fear if I tell him he will leave me for someone else bcz it’s the second time? What should I do?

    1. Hi Olive, it is important…

      Hi Olive, it is important that you are honest with your partner. If you do not feel ready to get married or have a child, be honest with him and let him know. If he does care about you, he will respect your choice and wait up until you are ready to either get married or have a baby. Find a good time and talk about this, let know why you you dont feel ready just yet and if it is okay with you talk about when this can happen. All the best.

  64. I need to talk to someone,…
    I need to talk to someone, where are you in Nairobi Kenya?

    1. Dear Salim, we are online…

      Dear Salim, we are online based and for this reason you could inbox us on our Facebook Page, Love Matters Kenya and one of our moderators will respond to you. Alternatively, you can 1190 toll free from your Safaricom line and someone will be waiting to talk with you. Additionally, have a look at the following article for more options;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/get-help/helpline-and-counseling

  65. My husband is very withdrawn…
    My husband is very withdrawn nowadays. Our sex life has changed for the worst we rarely have it and when we always seem to in a rush. What can I do to get my husband back? ??

    1. Hi there, have you talk with…

      Hi there, have you talk with your husband about this? All relationships have challenges but with open and honest communication partners can address the issues. It is for this reason important that you find a good time and talk with your partner so you can get to the root of the issues and address those issues together. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  66. My husband is always too…
    My husband is always too tired to spend time with me leave alone making love. When we love make he will finish faster and turn over face the other side and not care about how I feel. I feel he has someone else but I have no proof. It was not lways this way, what can I do to revive our love life?

    1. Hi Dolly, so sorry about…

      Hi Dolly, so sorry about this. There is no way to know for sure if he is cheating on you. A good place to start is to share your concerns with your partner, let him know what you have observed and how this is affecting you and your relationship. All relationships will have problems which are largely a result of poor or a lack communication. Find a good time to talk about these issues, remember the intention is to get to know what could be going on with your partner and not to accuse your partner of cheating. For this reason, choose a good time and consider how to bring this subject up. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  67. My boyfriend had changed a…
    My boyfriend had changed a lot, since I entered school he doesn’t believe wat I told me, he thinks I cheat on him,he left me for another gal and h calls me wen ever he needs sex from me wat do I do

    1. Hey Lydia, you have to make…

      Hey Lydia, you have to make a decision about how to relate with your ex. If you broke up and he moved on he needs to stick with his new girlfriend. Agreeing to have sex with him will only keep you in this situation and stop you from moving on into a more fulfilling relationship. It is important that you talk with him and let him know that this cannot continue especially since he already moved on. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/dealing-with-your-ex

  68. We broke up because he…
    We broke up because he cheated. One year later someone else is interested in me but I am unable to trust that he won’t cheat on me. I don’t know what to do…

    1. Hi Stellah, moving on after…

      Hi Stellah, moving on after a breakup can be challenging but to get into a new relationship and enjoy it, it is important for one to move on. All relationships will not last a lifetime, you may do your best but a relationship still doesn’t work out. This was not your fault and there was little you could have done to control the actions of your ex. All you can do now is to take time and heal from that break up for you to get into another meaningful and fulfilling relationship. Have a look at the following article for tips on moving on after a break up;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  69. I fell in love with a…
    I fell in love with a married man. By the time I got to know I was too deep into it. I never wanted this but he is so loving and caring but each time I spend with him is time he that he should be spending with his family. I don’t know what to do or how to end things. Please advice.

    1. Hey Shelly, this must be…

      Hey Shelly, this must be confusing for you. You need to take time and think about what you want. You need to be honest with him, let him know that you are uncomfortable with the fact that he is married considering he only told you this after you had started dating. This is a difficult conversation to have, but it is one you need to have if the relationship makes you uncomfortable. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  70. Love does not mind wheather…
    Love does not mind wheather u are ugly

    1. Hey Lois, as has been said,…

      Hey Lois, as has been said, beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder.

  71. If you are always fighting…
    If you are always fighting in a relationship does it mean you no longer live each other?

    1. Hey Delilah, if you are…

      Hey Delilah, if you are always fighting in a relationship it may mean that there are deep seated issues between the concerned partners. In such a situation, the partners need to talk and find out what is the underlying issue that’s causing the frequent fights. Open and honest conversations can help address the issues. All couples do disagree on different issues, how they choose to resolve the issues is what makes the difference. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/fighting-dos-and-donts

  72. How do you know a girl truly…
    How do you know a girl truly loves you? I have been betrayed twice now I am very careful.

    1. Hi Paul, you could ask her…

      Hi Paul, you could ask her how she feels towards you. You could also observe her actions when you spend time together. Does she want to spend lots of alone time with you, is saying goodbye to each other difficult, does she include you in her future when she talks about it. It is however important that you hear it from her particularly if her actions are not clear. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/how-do-i-know-if-she-loves-me

  73. I’m dating and ilifika…
    I’m dating and ilifika mahali it happened that this guy anytym nikimvisit anadelete texts kwa cmu immediately nimeingia juu alijua nikona password yake so nikanyamaza juu ni mtu wa kukasirika haraka.iyo cku ya mwisho vny nilimpata akidelete texts nikaboeka adi akafeel nimeboeka thn hakunipea explanation still abt deleted txts zke ndo nilimuuliza n he said that akona macrush wengi so huwa wanatxt shit so ati alikua anadelete ndo nisifeel ati anacheat.mm cfeel ka iyo reason ni genuine enough juu Sai anachange password yake kila saa

    1. Hey Kate. inaonekana hakuta…

      Hey Kate. inaonekana hakuta trust kwa hii relationship. Wewe unafeel anacheat, ni ngumu kujua for sure kama anacheat. Ni vizuri pia ufikiri kama utaweza kumtrust na kama hutaweza pengine ni time ya kubreak up. Trust ni muhimu kwa kila relationship na kama hakuna trust ni vizuri partners wazungumze kutafuta solution. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  74. What should I do since my…
    What should I do since my relationship is breaking. I can’t stand losing him. I love him sooo much but I have done him soo many wrong. I think he is just tired of me but claims that I will still remain to be the one he loves. He no longer calls like he used to or tell me he loves me? Help me safe my relationship.

    1. Hello Mercey, you can only…

      Hello Mercey, you can only be with your partner if he wants to be with you. Going by what you have said, he may have chosen to break up with based on what has happened in the past in your relationship. If you are not sure about where you stand in your relationship, whether your partner still wants to be with you, find a good time and talk about this. Get to know whether he is willing to work things out and agree on how to proceed together. Remember, he may not be willing to be in a relationship with you and if this is the case you will have to respect his choice. Have a look at the following articles;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  75. My boyfie,doesn’t call or…
    My boyfie,doesn’t call or text me he always says that he has no interest with phone but sometimes I see him online but he doesn’t text. He always says he is serious with me but again when I ask if we can tell his friends and sisters about our r/ship he don’t want. Can I trust him?

    1. Hi Rowdah, I am not able to…

      Hi Rowdah, I am not able to tell you whether you should or shouldn’t trust him. However, communication is important for any relationship. It is important that you talk with your partner about the important of frequent communication, remember, without communication partner draw apart and this negatively affects a relationship. About talking to his friends and sisters about the relationship, you also need to talk about whether it is the right time including whether there are any other reasons that may make him not to want to tell them. Have a look at the following article for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  76. Hi friends am married,we…
    Hi friends am married,we lack communi.cation with my partner, keep on arguing small things it’s too hard to Hear sorry from him….. He usually hurt me but i don’t feel living him i love him

    1. Hi Lucie, good communication…

      Hi Lucie, good communication is vital for all relationships. While communication is important, how one chooses to communicate makes a lot of difference in a relationship. It is also important that you choose the right time to have a conversation. It is important that you let him know if he does hurt you. Have a look at the following article for more tips on communication;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  77. I am in a long distant…
    I am in a long distant relationship. My fiance promised to come over this holiday but from Friday he has not picked my call or returned my text messages. I see him online but he not saying anything. I am tied I want to break up with him bcz I feel he is hiding something…..

    1. Hi Joan, so sorry about this…

      Hi Joan, so sorry about this. The only way to know what could have happened is to talk to your fiance. Something went wrong since what you agreed didn’t happen. You could try reach him and let him know what your concerns are so that together you can address the issues. It is also important to note that making a long distance relationship work can be challenging but if both partners are committed to each and the relationship, they can make it work. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/keep-long-distance-love-burning

  78. I don’t think my…
    I don’t think my relationship can be saved. I want to break up with him but I don’t know how to do it without hurting him.

    1. Hey Valarie, breaking up…

      Hey Valarie, breaking up with your partner is likely to hurt him unless this is what he wants also. All you need to do is to be honest with him, clear about your decision but you don’t have to be cruel. Try find a good time to break up and also choose a good place to do it. Have a look at the following articles for more tips;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  79. I have issues with my…
    I have issues with my boyfriend because I was charting with his bestfrnd

  80. Mine doesn’t even call me…
    Mine doesn’t even call me just to check on me,he dose not have time for me and he always like saying what he can’t do.

    1. Hi, have you talked to them…

      Hi, have you talked to them about this? Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in? Communication is an important part of any relationship. It is important that you talk with your partner about what is going on in the relationship and what this means to you. This will give a chance not to agree on how to proceed or whether to proceed together at all. We wish you well, have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  81. My relationship bend how can…
    My relationship bend how can I do it

  82. My bf has a problem with my…
    My bf has a problem with my male friends. He says I must loose them if our relationship will survive. I don’t know what to do…….

    1. Hey Maxi, has your boyfriend…

      Hey Maxi, has your boyfriend told you why he feels you should loose your friends to keep your relationship? Do those friends interfere with your relationship in any way? It is important that you talk to your boyfriend about this concern he has before making a decision on how to proceed. You may have to choose what is important to you, you boyfriend or your friends. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tough-choice-your-partner-or-your-best-friend

  83. I want to break up with my…
    I want to break up with my partner I don’t know how to tell him so that we don’t fight about it. How do I do it?

    1. Hey Lizz, whichever way you…

      Hey Lizz, whichever way you do it your partner will be hurt. You can however take steps to manage the situation. For instance, you can choose a place that after you have communicated you can leave, you can choose a neutral public place and as much as possible try do it in person. Try not to be drawn into a conversation of trying to give reason for him to address since this is what may lead to a fight. Have a look at the following article for additional information on how to break up;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up 

  84. she left me because I don’t…
    she left me because I don’t satisfy her in bed. I fear getting into a new relationship again for this to happen. Can you teach me about how ladies are satisfied with sex?

    1. So sorry about this Collo…

      So sorry about this Collo. For your partner to be satisfied you would have to first get to know what they like, enjoy or want during sex. This calls for an open and honest conversation about sex by both partners. Talking about sex not just before but also during sex and after sex will go along way toward improving the experience for both partners. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/orgasms/her-orgasms

  85. I get angry whenever I see…
    I get angry whenever I see any girl with my partner
    And am very rude whenever I talk to him

    1. Hey Joy, alittle jealousy is…

      Hey Joy, alittle jealousy is not bad for a relationship but when this is not managed, it may get in the way of having a great relationship with your partner like it seems to be happening right now. If you have trust issues, try and find out why this is happening to address the issues. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-turning-destruction-into-construction

  86. How do you deal with a guy…
    How do you deal with a guy who is so insecure he says he woul never allow his woman to work?

    1. Hi Waithira, it maybe…

      Hi Waithira, it maybe important to begin by getting to know the source of this insecurity or the reason whey he is this insecure. This may help to resolve the issues. On the other hand, if the insecurity issues cannot be resolved you would have to make a decision as to whether this is the kind of relationship you want to be in. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/my-husband-is-insecure-and-jealous

  87. What can I do to make my ex…
    What can I do to make my ex guy jealous of me,and wanting to have me back, and punishing him for leaving me

    1. Hello Jennifer, I don’t know…

      Hello Jennifer, I don’t know how you can achieve all that and it sounds like it would take so much time and energy. Maybe you may want to consider focusing this time and energy on your own well being including moving on. The unfortunate truth about relationships is that not all of them will last for a lifetime and when a relationship fails all one can do is to accept this and then move on. Have a look at the following article for tips on coping with a break up;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  88. My relationship has had many…
    My relationship has had many problems the only solution is to breakup.

    1. Hi, so sorry that it has…

      Hi, so sorry that it has come to this. Have you trued to address the issues with your partner? All relationships have problems or will have problems from time to time but it is how the partners choose to address the issues that make the difference. However, if you feel that the problems cannot be resolved, it maybe time to break up. Have a look at the following articles for more guidance;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/relationship-problems-top-five-causes

  89. I need help with an issue…
    I need help with an issue but I want you to send the answer to my email. Is that possible?

    1. Hey Maindhi, feel free to…

      Hey Maindhi, feel free to share with us your concern and we shall be more than glad to respond to you. Remember to share you email as well so that the response can be sent there. Alternatively, if you have a Facebook account, you can inbox us your question on either of our Page Love Matters Kenya or Love Matters Naija. 

  90. I think my boyfriend has an…
    I think my boyfriend has an alcohol problem. I dint know how bad it was it until I moved in with him. I am confused I don’t know what to do I am thinking of breaking up him because I cant take it any more.

    1. Dear Linet, have to talked…

      Dear Linet, have to talked with him about this? While it maybe challenging to make the relationship work you could try to help him address the alcoholism. He mush however be willing to change himself. Find a good time and share with him you decision to break up with him if he is unwilling to change and you are unable to accept this behaviour.  Check out the  following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/breaking-up-with-an-addict

  91. i had two guys but am nt yet…
    i had two guys but am nt yet dating them i dnt who to choose .
    i love one and i dnt love the other guy . but the i dnt love his deeply in love with me so caring and trustful .
    but the i love did not show love his pretending 2 love me .
    pls between the two guys who can i date ?
    i dnt love the one that truly love me sha

    1. Hi Gold, unfortunately this…

      Hi Gold, unfortunately this is a decision you only can make. It is important you take sometime and think about what you really want from a partner and from a relationship. These can help you decide whether to choose either of the guys or none. Do you want to be with a person who loves you and you don’t love them back? Or do you want to be with a person that you love but they don’t love you? Think about what is important to you moving forward as you make the choice, remember this is your own choice. Have a look at this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/does-true-love-still-exist

  92. Yes jealousy can district ur…
    Yes jealousy can district ur relationship with ur partner

    1. Absolutely, Happiness.

      Absolutely, Happiness.

  93. My boyfriend want to have…
    My boyfriend want to have sex wit me and not quite long will started but I don want to

  94. I just want to forget my bf…
    I just want to forget my bf because he don’t care for me again how will I do it

    1. Hey, have you broken up with…

      Hey, have you broken up with him? Unfortunately it is not possible to just forget someone who you dated after breaking up. It takes time to forget someone who you broke up with and this also depends on how you broke up and whether you still have feelings for them. Take one day at a time, eventually you get over him and move on. Healing may take time but with time you will heal, get into a new fulfilling relationship. We wish you all the best. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/forgetting-your-ex-women-share-what-works-best

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  95. I think my husband is having…
    I think my husband is having an affair. We have been married for one year, we have been together for 5. He is very different from the person I fell in love with. No more attention and coming home late all the time plus working on most weekends. I don’t know what to do, please help on how deal with this situation.

    1. Dear Getrude, so sorry about…

      Dear Getrude, so sorry about this. Have you talked to your husband about these issues? A lack of communication including spending time together in a relationship, can lead to partners drawing apart hence causing problems the relationship. It is important that you find a good time to talk about what is going on in your relationship for you and your husband to find a way forward. There is no way to tell for sure if he is having an affair, do start by talk about what’s going to try and address the issues. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/how-can-i-know-my-partner-is-cheating-on-me

  96. Am just too jealous of my…
    Am just too jealous of my boyfriend and I am doubting his feelings soo confused because he always tell me how e feels how he could not be without me am thinking jf his is really serious or not, thinking his cheating on me..what should I do now.

    1. Dear Amarni, is there any…

      Dear Amarni, is there any reason that makes you have doubts about your partner to the point that you dont believe what he says? There is no way to tell for sure if your partner is cheating, however, talking about your concerns can help address the issues you have. It is for this reason important that you find a good time to talk about your concerns with your boyfriend. Try not to accuse him a cheat but rather raise your concerns with him to try and get a solution together. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

  97. I luv my guy so much, I luv…
    I luv my guy so much, I luv him to the extent dat I can’t do wt out hearing from him a day. D relationship is 1 year n sum months nw, everything was fyn wen we started dating, but I later found out dat he is still dating his Ex of wic it hurt me very bad, each tym I talk he will say I complained too much, wen ever we are together his ex do call him but he won’t answer ha call in my present. All of the suddenly he started giving me attitude, our communication is get poor, each tym I try to play with he is either he is not in the mood. One day I ask him that y will he allow his ex to cum in between his present relationship of wic he nos dat am a jealous typ, I told him dat I can’t share my man wt anyone, do u no wat he told me? Is left for me to choose either to stay or leave, I was hrt broken, I cry all day n night. I try to let go of him but I found out that I can’t cos each tym am trying to forget about him dat is wen his memory do cum to my mind. I truly luv him. Dis is not the first tym dis has happened In my relationship, any relationship I found myself, I’m the one that’s always hurt. Wat can I do? I still luv him but it seems lyk he don’t want me anymore.

    1. Dear Haleema, so sorry about…

      Dear Haleema, so sorry about this. The unfortunate reality about relationships is that not all of them will last a lifetime. It appears that your ex was not ready to move on and this is why he was still with his ex. There was not much you could have done since this was his choice and not your fault. It is difficult to forget a person that you still have feelings for but with time you will be able to move on. It takes time to get over a heart break but eventually you will. Have a look at the following article for tips on coping with a break up;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  98. Have been in need for a love…
    Have been in need for a love partner for long tyme but have never get on what can i do to get one

    1. Hey Y2, you could begin by…

      Hey Y2, you could begin by getting into situation that will give a chance to meet new people and perhaps get a chance to meet a person you like. These can include social events in your community and when you see some you like or one you are interested in, be brave and approach them to see if they are interested in getting to know you. You could also have a mutual friend introduce you to a person you like. Remember, you may approach someone and find that they are not available or interested, move on to the next person and keep trying. Eventually, you will meet someone who will be interested. Check out this article for additional dating tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

  99. My husband is sleeping with…
    My husband is sleeping with another married woman. I am so hurt. I wonder what else I could have done to keep him faithful. He has become distant buries himself in his work even when he is at home I don’t remember the last time we laughed together. I don’t know what to do anymore… ???

    1. Dear Fridah, so sorry about…

      Dear Fridah, so sorry about this. You are however not responsible for the decisions of your husband. Have you tried to talk about this with him? It is unfortunate that not all relationships will last forever, even when you do your best at time a relationship will not just work out as you had hoped. It is important that you do talk about this with your husband so you can agree on how to proceed. This doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, if he is remorseful and willing to commit to your marriage. In which case you will also have to be willing to forgive him. On the other hand, it may mean the end. Find a good time to have this conversation and then make a decision on how to proceed. Have a look at the following articles for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  100. I have a problem with my…
    I have a problem with my relationship. Please I need advice.

  101. I have two guys in my life…
    I have two guys in my life one loves me alot and he does everything for me but I don’t love him at all. I am in-love with the 2nd guy who is not interested in me he has put me in the friend zone. I am confused I don’t what to do or who to choose? Help.

    1. Hi Jael, there is only one…

      Hi Jael, there is only one person who is available and is in love with you. The other guy doesn’t seem to be interested in a relationship with you. What do you want in a relationship and in a partner? You have to think about whether you are going to continue being in a relationship with a guy you don’t love. This is a decision only you can make. Take sometime, think about what you want and make an informed decision. 

  102. My boyfriend thinks I am…
    My boyfriend thinks I am still seeing my ex. I have explained to him countless times and even after this he still feels I am still seeing him. I feel like breaking up I just can’t take the mistrust anymore, help me out.

    1. Hi Sarah, has your boyfriend…

      Hi Sarah, has your boyfriend told you why he feels that you are still with your ex? You need to talk about where the doubts and suspicion is coming from so that you can address the underlying issues. Trust is an important part of any relationship with it a relationship is likely not to work. Find a good time to talk about this to find out what the underlying issues are. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  103. He wants to loose all mg…
    He wants to loose all my friends now that we are dating I don’t know why. Should I just leave him?

    1. Hi there, have you talked…

      Hi there, have you talked about why he wants you to loose your friends? It is important that you talk about this so you can get to know his reasons. This will inform your decision on whether to leave him or not. Find a good time to talk about this and then agree on a way forward. 

  104. I’m in love with Three men…
    I’m in love with Three men they all love me, but the one I love most is always jealous and find it hard to give me his time, tell me what to do please

    1. Hey Precious, the truth is…

      Hey Precious, the truth is that you can’t have them all, eventually you will have to drop atleast two or loose all of them. You need to take sometime and carefully think about what you want in a partner now and in future. Then think about who among them best represents the kind of person you are looking for. This may mean you drop two and keep the one you feel represents the kind of a partner you want. 

  105. I think my boyfriend is…
    I think my boyfriend is cheating because of the way he protects his phone when we are together. He ignores most call when we are together but he like to text alot. How can I know if he is cheating?

    1. Hello Josline, have you…

      Hello Josline, have you raised your concerns with your boyfriend? It is difficult to tell for sure if your partner is cheating on you and this why even when you raise this concerns with him, you should try not to accuse him a cheater but rather raise your concerns to allow him to tell you what could be going on. Have a look at the following articles for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  106. My girlfriend broke up with…
    My girlfriend broke up with me via text message, she didn’t even have the courtesy of doing it face to face and now she doesn’t pick any of my calls. I new we had problems but we had agreed to forget the past and start afresh. I am hurt at least she would have allowed us to talk. I don’t know what to do.

    1. Dear Seif, I can imagine…

      Dear Seif, I can imagine what you are going through. Break ups are not easy, it more complicated by the reasons of break up and how it was communicated. Although it is hard the best thing you can do for yourself is to accept that it is over. Even though this will hurt, it will also help you heal and move on. Check out this article for more tips on how to deal with a break up: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/getting-over-a-break-up

  107. My girlfriend left me…
    My girlfriend left me without telling me. I am suffering bcz she doesn’t receive my call when I text she ignores my text. She is online but she can’t reply. What shall I do?

    1. Hello Wilfred, so sorry…

      Hello Wilfred, so sorry about this. At times even with your best effect a relationship may not work out as you had hoped for. All you can do when this happens is to allow yourself to move on, even though this can be very tough especially when you still have feelings for the other person. If she has refused to talk to you, I suggest you focus on moving on since it appears she is not interested in the relationship anymore. Moving is tough, but time is a healer and eventually you will get over this hurt. Take a day at a time and try and get rid of all negative feelings you may have. Do take care of yourself, eventually you will get over this and even be ready to get into a new fulfilling relationship Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  108. What do you do if your…
    What do you do if your partner is angry all the time? When you ask the says nothing is wrong?

    1. Hey Sarah, it is difficult…

      Hey Sarah, it is difficult to be in a relationship with a person who is always angry. This may suggest that your partner is angry about something, which could be either the relationship or something else outside the relationship. It is important that you find a good time to address this with your partner, let him know how this is affecting your your relationship and how it makes you feel. This may help in finding what’s really making him angry all the time so that it can be addressed. We wish you well the best. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  109. My guy pergant a girl before…
    My guy pergant a girl before we meet he is not from my side but for the first time meet he expanin everything to that the girl abot the pergant with out informing him and that upset him somuch to the extended that him break up with her but the girl is still calling him even due he don’t call her I ask him baby u told me that u don’t have any business with her but she still call u on phone and he told me the same thing that he have no business with her again plz what should I do about this

    1. Hey Joy, now that you have…

      Hey Joy, now that you have raised the issue with him and he said he has no business with her, what you can do is to trust him. However, the truth is that he may always have to relate with the other girl because they have or are having a child together. He needs to participate in raising that child and for this reason they will keep talking and communicating for a long time to come. It is important for you to think about what this means and how it may affect your relationship. You can also agree on how he will be part of his child so that this relationship doesn’t affect your relationship with him. Find a good time and talk about this, specifically how he plans to be part of his child’s life without affecting your relationship. We wish you all the best. 

  110. I have a question, I love…
    I have a question, I love him so much but he doesn’t do what I want but I don’t know how to tell him

  111. Hi love matters, kindly…
    Hi love matters, kindly assist me to make the right choice here, am 28 yrs old and in a relationship with this girl and my challenge is below;
    -i want to settle down with this girl but i fear about her health status, she is always sickly and always in and out of hospital, is it ok to go ahead and marry her knowing about this or should i back down, i do love this woman but everyday i feel that am losing interest esp when i got to take care of her when she feels sick. am a christian and i want to show love but i feel like moving out to find happiness elsewhere, advice me how i should deal with this,

    1. Hi Bright, do you know what…

      Hi Bright, do you know what makes her sick all the time? Is it treatable so that she is not sickly all the time? This is a decision only you can make, you need to take sometime and think about what you want. If you no longer feel attracted or in love with her, you need to be honest with her and more importantly with yourself. That you walked away from a relationship doesn’t make you less of a christian, how you choose to do it however makes the difference. You don’t have to be cruel but you need to be honest and clear about your decision. Check out the following articles for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  112. LM plz I’m dying.my…
    LM plz I’m dying.my boyfriend for more than a year now recently changed his attitude and behavior towards me.I asked him if he still love and have feelings for me and he said “Let’s take our time and discover it ourself” and he wants me to be quite about this statement and accept it, just because he did something wrong that resulted to a misunderstanding which I insulted him but I also apologised.He wants me to still be in an intimate relationship which he can’t tell me if he still loves me or not.each time I complian he tells me Why can’t u accept someone who is asking me out instead of coming to complain about him.he claims he don’t want me to feel bad at d end by not marrying me that’s why he wants us to still be in an intimate relationship which he can’t say if he still love me or not while he observe me if I’ve changed,he said he has to tell me the truth abt this because he loves me.
    I’ve never been confused like this in my life,I need your advise please, should I still continue with this?

    1. Hi Mabel, if someone loves…

      Hi Mabel, if someone loves you, you don’t have to push to tell you they do. Also, it appears your partner doesn’t want to commit to your relationship and this maybe why he asked that you both take sometime to discover yourselves. All couples do have disagreements but it is how you choose to resolve the differences that makes the difference. Since you have asked him a number of times how he feels toward you and he has not been clear about this, you need to take sometime and think about what you want moving forward. This is a decision only you can make, do you want to keep the relationship as it is now where you don’t know how he feels about you or would you rather take that break from the relationship as he suggested? We wish you all the best. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  113. Hello,i have a bfriend and…
    Hello,i have a bfriend and he always collect my fone to see if any guys call or messsage me and we always had a fight on tis issues,he never trust me and i love him so much

  114. Iget jealous when ever my…
    Iget jealous when ever my boyfriend piece any girls call and dis cause a lot of problems so wat did you think I should do

    1. Hello Omowunmi, it is normal…

      Hello Omowunmi, it is normal to have some jealousy but when this begins to bring problems in your relationship, it becomes important to address where this is coming from. When not addressed as you may have seen it will cause problems in your relation, cause partners to grow apart and it may even cause partners to break up. Find a good time to talk with your partner about your concerns and together agree on how to address this. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  115. Ho w do you know if your…
    Ho w do you know if your boyfriend is cheating on you?

    1. And we love all of our …

      And we love all of our  subscribers right back!

  116. I’ve been in marriage for…
    I’ve been in marriage for almost ten years now with 3kids,all long we hve been living together with my hus but for past one yr he settled mi in our own hme living him alone at his work place everything has been mving quite well until one day I visited at work and discovered sme hair in his bathroom. Wat sld I believe since he keeps insisting that he’s nva cheated and claims that the hair belongs to a cleaner who he had sent to clean the hse for him.

    1. Hello Mish, so sorry to hear…

      Hello Mish, so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. There is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not. A relationship needs trust and from what you are saying your trust is shaken. Have

    1. Thank you David 🙂 We love…

      Thank you David 🙂 We love all of our subscribers as well.

  117. how will i control my jealous
    how will i control my jealous

  118. Hi my name is James I have…
    Hi my name is James I have this gf that I dated for 7month i nw hv a job that took me one week to come back home one night see test me that her parents did not won’t us together that we should give garp bt last week I find out that all her story is a lie so what should I do nw I love her ND don’t won’t to loss her

    1. Hello James, we are so sorry…

      Hello James, we are so sorry that you are going through such a hard time. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.

  119. My man is too jealous and…
    My man is too jealous and dominant he wants me to keep off everyone even my family members. He doesn’t even want me to work. I blocked him on my WhatsApp even blocked his number from reaching me but I love him so much and I’ve been in deep pains for days now. I feel empty without him. Please I don’t know if I should go back to him. I love him very much

    1. Hi Jen, thank you for…

      Hi Jen, thank you for reaching out to us. So sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. Truth is, this is a decision you have to make, you need to think about what you want for yourself and your future. It may be hard at the moment but think about the long-term goal.

  120. Am in a relationship but…
    Am in a relationship but suddenly my guy he don’t use to call me or care for me again wat should I do should I stay away from hin

    1. Hello, so sorry you are…

      Hello, so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Have a conversation with your partner and try and find out what may be going on.

    1. Thank you for your positive…

      Thank you for your positive feedback Omowumi, stay safe and Happy Easter!

  121. I don’t know wants wrong…
    I don’t know wants wrong with my boo but this page is helping me alot

  122. Hi Priscilla, thank you for…

    Hi Priscilla, thank you for reaching out to us and we are glad Love Matters is able to help. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
    Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner and find out what is wrong.

    1. Hi Sunday, yes! True…

      Hi Sunday, yes! True relationships carry these kinds of values and we hope they help you 🙂

  123. I find it hard to be open to…
    I find it hard to be open to my boyfriend n a husband to be. I find it easy to solve our issues via the phone(messages). And his wish is for me to talk our issues out face to face but its hard for me. What will I do n av tried everything to talk to him face to face but it doesn’t work coz I find the talks we had to talk of dissapear from my head. Help me out

    1. Hello Stella, it is…

      Hello Stella, it is perfectly normal for you to have a hard time using a particular method of communication. It is best to try and solve things face to face especially because using your phones things may be lost in translation. If you feel that you forget your points during face to face conversations then try and write them down beforehand. You may also use this method to anticipate what your partner might say. 

  124. I love my boyfriend and I…
    I love my boyfriend and I have a daughter for him but he still dating is ex girlfriend what should I do

    1. Hello Kayode, thank you for…

      Hello Kayode, thank you for reaching out to us. I understand that the situation would be very distressing for you.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.

  125. My boyfriend have been…
    My boyfriend have been ignoring me few days now, I tried calling him but he is not picking, I don’t know what to do.

    1. Hi Juliet, thank you for…

      Hi Juliet, thank you for reaching out to us and we are sorry you are going through a hard time.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well. Had something happened between the two of you that brought about his avoidant behaviour? 

  126. My parents prefer a…
    My parents prefer a different man from the one I love N they are insisting that it’s either him or I will not have their blessings, am scared of what to do.

    1. Hi Pretty Sheryl, so sorry…

      Hi Pretty Sheryl, so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. You may need to talk to your parents and try and explain your point of view. This may prove to be difficult but it is a conversation you definitely have to have.

  127. My fiance is a very jealous…
    My fiance is a very jealous type she don’t want to see me making calls or receiving calls…but she always talk to opposite sex too now our relationship is standing on one leg i really want to broke up with her because i don’t have rest of mind any more please advice me on what to do

    1. Hello Muhammad, thank you…

      Hello Muhammad, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time. It is understandable that you would be a little frustrated with this situation.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.

  128. I have problem with former…
    I have problem with former relationship and. I can trust any guy do to my former relationship

    1. Hello My name is Elizabeth,…

      Hello My name is Elizabeth, thank you for reaching out to us. Maybe this is a sign that you are not ready to get into a new relationship just yet. Being single is okay. It gives you time to work on yourself, find hobbies, practice things that you love, and try to learn how to be happy with yourself. Happiness and confidence is attractive in a person and when you find yourself in a good place people will find you. Once you feel that you have developed the ability to trust again, then you may be able to pursue a new relationship. If the above is not able to help, maybe consult a counselor to help you overcome your trust issues. Have a wonderful weekend and stay safe.

  129. Isaac Elizabeth you are most…

    Isaac Elizabeth you are most welcome and we are always pleased to help.

  130. I break up with my man,,and…
    I break up with my man,,and I still love him,,,hence I want him back again….what should I do to bring him back.

  131. You are most welcome Idris,…

    You are most welcome Idris, we love our subscribers right back! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  132. My gf said am not giving her…
    My gf said am not giving her good conversations and not motiving her and saying same talk of love everytime …she beeds more …

    1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

      Hello Anonymous, thank you so much for reaching out to us. Sometimes conversations between partners can come to an awkward halt, it is normal and fine. You could Google “Conversation Starter for Couples” This will help you find tips on what to talk about that will help foster the conversation and also help you learn more about each other.

    1. Hi Anonymous, thank you for…

      Hi Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us. Sorry to say Love Matters Africa is not a dating site and e cannot help you in this regard.

  133. My Name is Salim am from…
    My Name is Salim am from kenya-Lamu.
    I have the problems my Girlfriend she didn’t answer my call I send her a msg cos I was so agree for her ,from that day she not taking my calls ,I send more than seven msgs to apology but not responding ,she is not taking my call now I don’t know what to do I try all my best to make things okay but it not helping

    1. Hi Salim, we are so sorry to…

      Hi Salim, we are so sorry to hear you are having a hard tie communicating with your partner. It seems something happened prior to her going quiet. It is possible that she will need a little more time to get over it. Give her a little more time and space and try to communicate to work out your issues.

  134. I have an issue , my man…
    I have an issue , my man keeps chatting with so many women some i know some i dont he even calls and helps some financially which i come to know about later on maybe through our talks or even accidentally seeing in his phone what should i do i am pregnant with him and i cant see my unborn living without a father figure.please help

    1. Hi Femmy, thank you so much…

      Hi Femmy, thank you so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry you are having a rough time right now. It is understandable that you are a little apprehensive about this communication that is happening on the side.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
      This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

  135. Hi am in a relationship…
    Hi am in a relationship being ready for marriage, The thing is my fiance never like to admit her mistakes,

  136. Hello Mary, thank you for…

    Hello Mary, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
    Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
    This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

  137. Thank you for the good…

    Thank you for the good wishes Anonymous! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  138. Mm Niko na shida kubwa sana…
    Mm Niko na shida kubwa sana nilikuwa na girlfriend mwenye tulikuwa tunapendana naye sana siku moja alikuja kunisalimie home pasipo kunishow akaja akunipata nilikuwa nimetoka kidogo tangia hiyo siku nampigia simu hapokee plz nifanye nn sasa

  139. Sasa Joseph, tumeshukuru…

    Sasa Joseph, tumeshukuru sana umetupitia na umetuambia shida zako. Usijali, sisi tuohapa kukusaidia. Tangu afike kwako na haukukua nymbani, hamuja ongea? Umewai kujaribu kuconnect na rafiki amafamilia yake kujaribu kuitaji hali yake? Labda akonashida na hawezi kukufikia.

  140. My boyfriend behavior is…
    My boyfriend behavior is bordering me a lot
    And I have complained to him about it but he doesn’t want to change after promising to change
    He owns an office
    So he always tells me he is busy even to make out time to us to see is a big deal to him
    He will promise to call, promise to us to see but won’t do it
    We are not living far from each other but can stay for one week without seeing each other.
    When ever i complean
    He will tell me how busy he is in the office and beg for my forgiveness
    He promised to take me to his house but didn’t
    So I have to remind it for him and he keeps telling me he has to put some things in order before I will visit cause his brother wife and kids and also his sister are living in his house, that he is planning to rent another house and live the other one

    But when ever we are together he will check my messages, Facebook, WhatsApp
    He don’t like seeing me and talking on phone with
    any another man and
    And he always tells how much he loves me
    And also sometimes he talks about marriage
    And he always tells me that he want to change my sim card cause he doesn’t want any other man to call me expect him
    We just know each other for two months now and I love him

    But my problem is y is he always busy?
    He don’t call always
    And he haven’t taken me to his house
    Do he really love me like he said?
    Plz ur advise

  141. Hi Mirabel, thank you for…

    Hi Mirabel, thank you for getting in touch with us and we are sorry you are going through a hard time. Communication is an important part of any relationship. have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well. This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

    Have a wonderful weekend and stay safe.

  142. My boyfriend is not having…
    My boyfriend is not having time for me anytime I call me he always tell me he will call me back but he wouldn’t and it’s really hurting we can stay a week without talking it’s really hurting me

  143. Hi Sonia thank you for…

    Hi Sonia thank you for reaching out to us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well. This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

    Have a wonderful week ahead and know that everything will be okay. Stay safe!

  144. Hi gud day,
    I cut my…

    Hi gud day,
    I cut my boyfriend with my besties at a guess house, and he is telling me nothing happen..plss help mi

    1. Hello Confidence, thank you…

      Hello Confidence, thank you for getting in touch and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. There is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally, if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believing something without knowing if it is real or not. 

  145. We are glad you like it Hk!…

    We are glad you like it Hk! Please feel free to go through more of our content and let us know what you think and if you have any questions, do not hesitate to reach out! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  146. I will be 21 this year and…
    I will be 21 this year and my boyfriend is 25.We actually get along together I really love him and no doubts he loves me too the only problem here he wants sex but I don’t want it due to my Christian background which says no sex before marriage and it’s affecting us though he agreed to stay calm about it but I know deep down in me that he is not happy about it.

    1. Hello Abigail, thank you for…

      Hello Abigail, thank you for getting in touch with us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. First and foremost, your body is yours and no one can force you to do something that you, yourself do not want to do. If you do not want to have sex for any reason, he should respect your boundaries and not force himself onto you or emotionally blackmail into having sex. We are happy to hear that you love and respect one another though and therefore, urge you both to read this together and think about how it can help bring understanding in your beautiful relationship. It’s hard enough being a human in this world. Being a religious human can make life – and more specifically, questions about sex, a bit harder. Click here to find out more about what we think when it comes to sex and religion: 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/catholicism-and-sexuality

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/knowing-yourself-the-biblical-way

  147. Am going through a very…
    Am going through a very painful heartbreak right now… He has been quite for sometime I which I didn’t know why I felt neglected and he showed me no affection …and later on he just happened to text me and he just told me that my love was too good for him to bare…..i just loved him right I don’t know why he would say that and leave me.

  148. Niliolewa na mtu ambaye hata…
    Niliolewa na mtu ambaye hata sikunuia kumpenda kwa sababu ya msukumo wa hali ya maisha.Kwa miezi tisa nimeishi naye,nikagundua akili yake si sawa na pia wazazi wangu wamrjua hilo na kunambia nimsahau na niendelee na masomo yangu ya college.Na kwa bahati mbaya niko na mimba yake miexi tano.Nitafanyaje na hata simpendi kabisa.Tuliachana.

    1. Sasa, 

      Huh, hapo ulifanya…

      Sasa, 

      Huh, hapo ulifanya uamuzi mzuri. Kwanza, ni kweli humpendi and hata kama uko na mimba yake, sio vyema kuishi na mtu hupendi na mwenywe ana kasoro ya akili, hii inawaze kuathiri hali yako ya afya and pia furaha yako. Ikiwa atataka kuwa kwa maisha ya mtoto wako ni sawa kwa sababu ni babake. Siku hizi watu wanaeza lea mtoto hata kama hawaishi pamoja kwa hivyo uko tu sawa. Nakutakia mema!

  149. I have been with this girl…
    I have been with this girl for 9yrs…we recently brke up …or rather she actualy left me coz i had a habit of name calling weneva i got mad …weve been thru so much together and i realy want her back ….av been working on myself and i want to treat her right and do better this time…she has even blocked me on all socials..do u think i stand a chance or should i jus let go?

    1. Hi Brayo, 

      Hard to tell. It…

      Hi Brayo, 

      Hard to tell. It could be that she will eventually take you back, or not. On the other hand, it is great to hear that you are working on yourself though, this may make her consider a reconciliation. Either way, it is great since you are working towards becoming a better man. My suggestion would be to try and get her back. Be honest about your role in the breakup and promise to be a better partner. Yet, be very honest with yourself if she rejects a reconciliation several times, she may never take you back. All the best! 

  150. I have been dating a girl…
    I have been dating a girl and for a while without any reason she started ignoring me and stop giving me attention.what could be the reason?please assist Pleaee

    1. Hi John, 

      This could be…

      Hi John, 

      This could be because of very many reasons. The best thing to do is to have an open and honest conversation with her about the sudden change. Be very open to receiving any response since it may be that she is no longer interested in the relationship. Also, consider that she may be going through personal problems either financial or emotional and whether you are in a position to assist. 

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