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Cheating and infidelity

Cheating means breaking the rules you have agreed on in a committed relationship. Usually cheating refers to sexual infidelity or adultery.

If you’re making out or having sex with someone outside of your committed relationship, it means you’re cheating on your partner.

Cheating doesn’t always have to be sexual. Sometimes cheating is on an emotional level. When someone shares intimate thoughts with a person who’s not their partner, it’s called emotional cheating.

Cheating of any form can cause a lot of sorrow in relationships and can even lead to break-up or divorce.

Find out more about cheating in our Cheating: top five facts.

Why do people cheat?

There are many reasons why people cheat on their partners. You might cheat if you don’t love your partner any more, if sex isn’t satisfying, if your partner has cheated on you in the past, or if you feel neglected or under-appreciated.

Lying to your partner about your affairs can be a stop-gap arrangement, but it’s very likely that sooner or later your partner will discover the truth. If you feel guilty about having cheated and don’t want to end your relationship, confessing might be an option. You could also keep quiet about what happened, although the lack of honesty could put a strain on your relationship.

If you’ve cheated and decided you want to end it with your partner, there are two options – to confess your behaviour and say goodbye or to hide your infidelity and say you want to break up for other reasons.

Is your partner cheating on you?

If you know your partner well and have had a close, long-term relationship, you can often tell when something’s not right. You might notice that they’ve begun spending a lot more time at work, they have less time for you and your family, start taking calls in private, and seem less committed to doing things with you. Maybe they’re paying attention to their looks, and they appear confused and detached. When you ask them if anything’s wrong, they shrug off your question.

Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damage the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation, or divorce. You might spend days, weeks, or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.

But don’t blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.

Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship?

The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (374)

  1. What of a lady who jus enjoy
    What of a lady who jus enjoy cheating and do sleep with different men,is that relationship worth being into?Though she also enjoy sex with the boyfriend but stil has urge for other men.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      well, only you can answer that question. Does it bother you? Or are you okay with it? You are the only one who can answer this question.

    2. im sure with time both of…
      im sure with time both of you your hearts and minds will be free and open.well in love time means a lot if you want to succeed.never get out may be she is doing what you do,who knows

  2. How could i know that my
    How could i know that my partern is cheating on me.

    1. Hi Roba,

      Hi Roba,
       there is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not.

    2. everybody cheats but it…
      everybody cheats but it depends on the degree of cheating.it is possible your partner is in dilemma
      like you.with love it is like wolking in the bush alone

    3. Easy, just acquire yourself…
      Easy, just acquire yourself a cheating detector! want one? i can give you for free, just follow him or her wherever she or he goes! stand guard 24/7 365, that way you will know whether he is cheating or not!

  3. Do you think a man who is
    Do you think a man who is sharing love words to every female whom he has her contact is cheating on his wife?

    1. Hi Gloria,

      Hi Gloria,
      we have no idea. It could be, but without knowing more about the situation, it’s difficult to judge!

    2. no and yes can work but it…
      no and yes can work but it depends.he might be doing as part of jokes.but the wife has to come out n ask in a plight way.a wise woman never use force instead wisdom.

    3. some are some are not you…
      some are some are not you just need to understand your man

      1. Thank you for sharing satty…

        Thank you for sharing satty kay. 

  4. aftr breakup i fl 2 dwn, i
    aftr breakup i fl 2 dwn, i jst wnt 2 b alon .is it normal?

    1. Absolutely! It’s normal to
      Absolutely! It’s normal to want to be alone. But make sure you don’t get too isolated for too long. Maybe you can just keep a friend or family member close, so that that don’t lose all contact to the outside world.

    2. it depends you choose normal…
      it depends you choose normal or ….

    3. After breaking up from what?…
      After breaking up from what? it depends on the nature and of what you broke up from and reasons why, there are situations which you might appreciate its better you broke up and there are others you might regret why you did so, for example if you broke up from an abusive violent relationship what’s there to regret about? it will be good riddance! but in the situation where you are the cause of the breakup then you might regret and its normal to want time alone after breakup in order to forge a move on!

  5. can a man knw wen u r
    can a man knw wen u r unfaithful 2 hm

    1. Depends on the man and
      Depends on the man and depends on you!
      If you behave differently or something else changes, he might suspect something.

  6. Hi love matters my boyfriend
    Hi love matters my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me n got another lady pregnant just after I had given birth to our dota now he’s back in my life claiming he loves only me but the other chick calls him constantly n av started having doubts he tells me he has nothing to do with her but I feel there’s something what do I do?

    1. Hi Nina,

      Hi Nina,
      take some time away from him and think about what you want. Do you think you will be able to trust him again? Do you think he will do it again? How is he going to deal with the other woman, and his other child? Think about all these things, and make your decision based on that. Good luck!

    2. go with what is in your heart
      go with what is in your heart

  7. i dont lv doing sex bt ma bf
    i dont lv doing sex bt ma bf is forcin me to do it,does she love me?

    1. Hi Vivian,

      Hi Vivian,
      forcing you to have sex means he is raping you. And that is not a sign of love. He neither respects nor cares for you. Sorry to be harsh, but you deserve so, so much better!

    2. it depends what type of love…
      it depends what type of love.the sweetness of love is sex

    3. Hey…satisfy his needs 1st…
      Hey…satisfy his needs 1st don’t deny him he might look for it elsewhere. Am a married man for 11yrs..This is a free advice. Otherwise call it quits before you are heart broken

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution Erick. This is a boyfriend and nothing allows for forced sex, not even in marriage. Partners should agree when and even how to have sex otherwise it could be considered sexual violence in a relationship. We do appreciate your contribution though.

    4. He Luvs u Cox if not u will…
      He Luvs u Cox if not u will hear rumours 4m outside having fallen in love with other xo don’t Denny him that fruit of lov

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution.

  8. She has password all over her
    She has password all over her phone… Messages… call log gallery… And she always put her phone inside her bag… Is she cheating or hiding something

    1. Hi Kevin,

      Hi Kevin,
      privacy is a good thing. Even if she has nothing to hide, you shouldn’t even consider going through her phone.
      Do you love her, and trust her? Yes- great. No- then you need to start working on that.

    2. time will tell may be she is…
      time will tell may be she is not used with you.remember she was not alone even u ,somebody might be hiden but with time everbody will be open to one another

    3. Possibly yes,stop trying to…
      Possibly yes,stop trying to look into her phone, instead, start looking for someone else. Someone who is ready to let you fully into their personal life.

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution Peter.

  9. what u meet ur first
    what u meet ur first girlfriend n she says tht she loves u n wante u to leave the girl u heard then after sometimes she is not active in ur communication n she claims tht she as been looking for u quit sometime n she is greatful she as got me now she want us to get married is this a true love

    1. Hi Dan,

      Hi Dan,
      communication is the most important part of any relationship, and it seems this needs some improvement in yours. Unless you both openly say what you feel, need and want, your relationship won’t have a future.

    2. Its nice and helpful.
      Its nice and helpful.

  10. she knows everybody in our
    she knows everybody in our family n we have dated for 3mnths.is it wrong

    1. Hi Kamau,

      Hi Kamau,
      why would it be wrong?

  11. any tym we meet she tend to
    any tym we meet she tend to leave all dox shez wid includin men and acompaniz me to wereva am goin to buh wen i tel her dat i lav her,she telx me dat she had bin tryin to lav me buh she find it vry dificult to do xo.wat do u tnk ix di mata

    1. Ben,

      Ben,
      Has she told you why she finds it difficult to love you?

  12. i hav been datin a man for a
    i hav been datin a man for a yr. we had alot of dixagreemnt and i dcidd 2 keep xylnt 4 xmetym. we could rearly meet afta a week a gal came claiming 2b pregnant wid hm, da parentx of da galx 4cd da gal 2 xtay wid ma boyfrnd i xtl luv hm n i fynd hard 2 move on da guy is sory n claim 2 xtl luv me wat xhud i du am confuxd

    1. Ann,

      Ann,
      you need to think about what you want. Can you forgive him and move on? Forgive him? And how does he want to deal with the other girl and his child?

  13. pls is there a way for me to
    pls is there a way for me to gt ova ma jealousy ova ma finance? i do trust her bt i always feel some kinda little jealousy wen eva shes with anoda guy.

    1. That’s totally okay to feel a
      That’s totally okay to feel a bit of jealousy! It just shows how much you care and would hate to lose her.
      I’m sure she feels the same way when you talk to other girls.
      Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. Maybe you can come up with a way for you to feel less jealous.

  14. hy..ma girlfriend ix
    hy..ma girlfriend ix suspecious,,jax rezently a read ha text cox a wax wd ha 4 lunch,,and arealizd her ex ix texting ha,,and she wrote that shex single and we togetha,,hw do atel that shex nt cheating by nw,,bt i hav nt askd ha wat do i do???

    1. take you time remember in…
      take you time remember in love u need to be smart before saying im done.what she is doing you might be doing so if not so,the longer you stay the more you come to see changes in both of you

  15. hy..ma girlfriend ix behaving
    hy..ma girlfriend ix behaving wierd..jax rezently a read ha text wen i was wth ha 4 lunch,,and arealizd her & EX CHATING,,and she wrote that shex single and yet we togetha,,hw do atel that shex nt cheating by nw,,bt i hav nt askd ha wat do i do???

    1. Jeff,

      Jeff,
      first things first: reading someone else’s texts is not good. It’s an invasion of their privacy. What would you say if someone was reading yours?
      Next, have you talked to her? Have you asked her if she is cheating? Don’t be accusing, ask her in a quiet moment, and see what she says.

  16. hw do i knw my girl frnd has
    hw do i knw my girl frnd has no relationshp with her x boy frnd

    1. Mwahendo,

      Mwahendo,
      have you asked her? Do you have reasons to be suspicious?

    2. put more effort on your side…
      put more effort on your side that is normal.she is asking the same uiz relax

  17. hi! I have I have a
    hi! I have I have a girlfriend av been dating for one year now. She loves me and I too love her. She recently went back to school for better a grade and this means I’ll miss her for quite long. When she calls me, she says she is doubting if I cant cheat on her. I had assured her of my love but she can’t be free in mind. I suspect these negative feelings may eventually loose her interest in me. Advice me please

    1. James,

      James,
      long distance relationships are hard, and they require a lot of hard work from both partners. Good communication is one thing. Start by asking her what she needs from you to feel safe that you are not cheating, Good luck!

  18. Hi, av bin datin him for a
    Hi, av bin datin him for a yea now,he does not txt nor kol til i do so maself does he really lov me

    1. Sstar,

      Sstar,
      have you ever talked to him about this? What does he have to say for himself?

  19. hi,have been dating a guy for
    hi,have been dating a guy for quite sometime,i payed a visit and what i saw was pairs of shoes and some clothes which belonged to a lady,i assumed and on the next visit i found more shoes and clothes…i asked a friend whom they stay together and he told me that the guy that i was dating had another chic…i payed a visit yesterday and i found him with a chic..the same chic who had been told about,the owner of the shoes and clothes,pliz advise me on what to do…

    1. Shannice,

      Shannice,
      the guy is cheating on you!
      It’s up to you to decide now what you want to do- do you want to stay with this guy who isn’t honest with you and can’t even be bothered to hide is other girlfriend’s stuff when you are around, or do you want to be with a guy and be the only woman in his life?
      Regardless of what you decide, you should talk to him and see what he has to say for himself.

  20. I hv ag.f shi s stl studying
    I hv ag.f shi s stl studying while am working I normally cal ha to request to meet wid mh shi insist dat shi insisted she s fearing ha parent am confused I fl cheated wad shl I do

    1. Moz,

      Moz,
      you need to talk to her. Only she can tell you what’s going on, and what the two of you can do together to get it right!

  21. hi was in relationship bt it
    hi was in relationship bt it never worked becoz the lady never respected me and she used to insult me and finally she threatened to kill me with a knife ,thn I decided to leave her ..now am in love with another lady ,and we had a child with that lady.can I tell her everything coz she want to knw about my past…do I tell her everything or I Wait for our relationship to grow thn I confess later?

    1. Alfred,

      Alfred,
      good for you that you left!
      Whether you tell her now or not it up to you. Do you feel the time is right? If you do, go ahead. If you think it would be better to wait a little longer, wait. You will find the right time!

  22. hallow? my bf keep on insist
    hallow? my bf keep on insist to marry him and am not ready to b in a marriage? what shall i do?

    1. Have you talked to him at all
      Have you talked to him at all about this, Chary?
      what does he say?

  23. my bf want to marry me so
    my bf want to marry me so that i can take kea of his brother n i dnt want to coz am not well stable . help pliz

    1. You need to talk to him,
      You need to talk to him, Chary.

  24. Therez this guy am dating for
    Therez this guy am dating for a year n started suspected that he hd a side chick after seeing several love texts frm another gal of whom he claimed she was his frd i took her contact n the gal told me that my guy was his later on the guy admitted that they were lovers b4 n he loves both of us.

  25. Hv dated this man 4 13months
    Hv dated this man 4 13months only on realizing that he had bin cheating me with his ex girlfriend.wen I asked at first,he got mad at me n left so he was seeing me n later to her place n lie to me that he was goin to see his mom the area place to other gal.wen i asked who he loves most he said he loved both of us I got mad n decided to quit the relationship but he couldn’t let go of me of which he decide to leave his ex gal n stay with me once again he called the gal n told her that he truly loves me.he asked for my forgiveness but am NT decided still confused on whether to forgive him or quit the relationship.I fear they might get back together since they stay one area.plz advice

    1. Cate,

      Cate,
      have a talk with him. Explain your fears and make it very clear to him that this is the last chance.

  26. after being cheated ,can
    after being cheated ,can xoumone b in the came position ad feelings in terms of love width the came person ad how long does it take?

    1. Jacky,

      Jacky,
      there is no time frame for this. Sometimes it can work, for other couples it won’t. It will be difficult, and both of you have to work on it together, if you want to stand a chance. Good luck.

  27. I have dated this guy for
    I have dated this guy for 2yrs n a half,he later married mi,it has been a yr now i have a daughter,tha problm he actd suspicious for a while until i was tempted to chek his phone only to find disgustin txts wit diffrnt women…when i askd him…he said it was just chatting…it is not the first time he always apologises n begs mi not to leav him n says he wil nt repeat…am afraid it wil happn agen n am afraid he doesn’t only chat bur do the actions too….wat do i do?am givin up alrdy

    1. Monic,

      Monic,
      have you had another talk with him to make him understand what his behavior does to you, and that you are thinking about leaving? Talk to him. See what he says, and don’t let him take this too lightly.

  28. Hi,i have a girlfriend who i
    Hi,i have a girlfriend who i love and she love me too.but she insists we should not have sex untill marriage.while i believe sex is not the only thing that bind a relationship.But i am afraid because she is in her 2nd year of study while i have finished.This means we will be apart most of the time.will this be a wise decision to grant her her wish and wait untill marriage??..i have seen some of friends who have tried that idea but they end up losing their girlfriends to someonelse.will i be a victim of the same?.should i quit?…should i hope for the best and wait?

    1. Mophill,

      Mophill,
      have you told her what you told us? Talk to her! See what she says. Make a decision together; and most importantly, talk about it!

  29. I broke up with him but I
    I broke up with him but I still love him and I cant talk to him what do I do

    1. Why did you break up with him
      Why did you break up with him?

  30. haez,is it bad to read your
    haez,is it bad to read your loverz massages???

    1. Pett,

      Pett,
      yes. It shows you don’t trust them.

  31. hi! im dating a guy 4 6months
    hi! im dating a guy 4 6months now, and after a month wh i pay my first visit to him, i realise tht he is th father of my nephew, he was dating my cousin 7year ago (he is having a kid wth my cousin) he told me th first day i hv introducing myslf to him he was not wnt to tell me tht he ws dating my cousin because he loves me and he dont want to lose me, i love him too and i dnt wann lose him als. do u think this will be fine to both of us? since my cousin has moved on wth another man 4 years now?

    1. Villa,

      Villa,
      It could work out but also, maybe not. We don’t know your family and your cousin, so while she may be over him, there might still be hard feelings.
      Have you considered talking to your cousin?

  32. I hv agalfrnd ad i realy luve
    I hv agalfrnd ad i realy luve her ad we eva hd sex bt she kips talkng 2 oza gayz wen wi r slipping moreover i 4ill bad iz sh chittng on me

    1. Rashid,

      Rashid,
      other than talking to other guys, have you seen any other indication for her cheating on you?

  33. hae have been dating for 2yrs
    hae have been dating for 2yrs n I don’t trust Mah man I think he’s cheating on me coz he keep hiding da phone away from me n only keeps it in silent mode n whenever a Lady call when we r together he does not pick it up bt instead hides it away we talked together n I av shared Mah opinion with him bt he only tells me to stop doubting him n how long will I doubt him I love him n he loves me wat can I do: n iz it wrong to tell ua boyf dat u want to quit a rtship

    1. Pattria,

      Pattria,
      if you don’t trust him, why are you with him?

  34. hi love,i had a b.f whom we
    hi love,i had a b.f whom we broke up…recently anatha guy is after me and evry time he call or txts he wants me go sleep over his place..also he watsups me his private parts pics n ask me the same bt i refuse since even we have never met..he claims to lov me dearly….is thz really true??

  35. hi love,i had a b.f whom we
    hi love,i had a b.f whom we broke up…recently anatha guy is after me and evry time he call or txts he wants me go sleep over his place..also he watsups me his private parts pics n ask me the same bt i refuse since even we have never met..he claims to lov me dearly….is thz really true??

    1. Vian,

      Vian,
      He may think he loves you, but seeing that you don’t really seem to have a functional relationship yet, you don’t have to feel obliged to anything. If you don’t want to sleep with him yet, that’s fine. If you don’t want to send him sexy pictures- tell him. If it bothers you that he does- tell him.

  36. Hi i have been in a
    Hi i have been in a relationship with this guy for 3year bt he has changed he make empty promise wben he say he will call he does’nt or even come to check up on me and i dnt want to loose him wht must i do.

    5yWiU

    1. Dee Dee,

      Dee Dee,
      Have you talked to him about his? What does he have to say for himself?

  37. I have been dating this guy 4
    I have been dating this guy 4 2mnths now n he doesn’t kiss or have sexual attention in me.he doesn’t even say am smart.always talks abt his X galfriends n always twists my questions.always late 4 every date we plan or he fails.does he luv me or he is just shy to say we break up

    1. Martha,

      Martha,
      I suggest you talk to him about this. Does he actually want to be in a relationship with you? Ask him!

  38. how will I know she is
    how will I know she is cheating on me…..

  39. I have a girlfriend that I
    I have a girlfriend that I love so much, one day she told me to help her to block someone on her Facebook friend list, and I did what she want! So I have her Facebook account and password with me. So I now discovered that she dates 90% of guys on her friends list! I asked her about it but she denied, and said she’s just flattering them. But she goes to their house for visit, I opened another Facebook account because of her, and she accept to date me, but she did not know I’m the one. Pls what can I do because I still love her.

    1. Hi,

      Hi,
      Firstly checking her fb account is wrong. Love relies on the principle of trust. Just trust what she said that she is just flattering those guys.

      1. Thank you Pretty for your
        Thank you Pretty for your input.

      2. Thank you Pretty for your
        Thank you Pretty for your input.

    2. Hi Adebayo, trust is very
      Hi Adebayo, trust is very important in every relationship and without it it becomes difficult to function. If you do not trust her you need to evaluate the relationship and decide what you want. Stalking her using a different account will only add to your pain. You already know the truth about her the only thing that is left is for you to decide if you want to be in such a relationship.

  40. hi,I met a lady one day in a
    hi,I met a lady one day in a tuition class,I feel for her we came to know each other as a friend ,when I tried to sacrifice my love for her she answered me she is not ready for me because she has already took me like her brother ,I didn’t accept it and continued telling her that I love her, but she blocked me in WhatsApp and switched off her phone for four months,after she switched on ,I tried to call her and text her in different ways but she was not replying my texts or respond my calls either. when I saw this is becoming too much and I don’t want to lose her because she was my best friend that I had in my life time ,i agree to gave up and have her like my own sister, after some months I had that she want to get married, I tried calling and texting her to congratulate for her wedďing ,but she didn’t respond my calls or text me back,lastly she texted me (wait I will call you) and up to now she didn’t call me…….now what should I have to do more than this? it is killing me

    1. Abdulnasir,sorry to hear that
      Abdulnasir,sorry to hear that. You need to let go of her.Continue with your life like she has. Holding on to her will only cause more pain and hurt. Its difficult to let go but sometimes its necessary for our own sake.

  41. Hi im in love with this girl
    Hi im in love with this girl dt i trusted so much not knowing she ws flirting on facebook n whats app. I asked her buh she denied it cos she thought i ve no evidence. I felt bad cos i know what im saying and cos i love her n just want her to stop cheating n flirting,,i provided her wit alot of evidence dt shows shes been lyin, cheating, flirting and deceiving me. Now she is sorry n agreed to stay off fbk whats app. She deleted all d social networking apps on her phone. Even changed her sim card yet she still make some moves lm nt comfortable wit. Now our problem is dt i dont trust, believe or agree on anything she says or do cos i ve lost all dt in her. Now we quarrel everyday cos im bein over protective for her not to deceive or fool me again. I still love dis woman sincerly buh i feel my heart is at risk with her yet my greatest risk n fear now is to let her go even though she make me feel pain everyday. My question is what should i do for us to ve peace cos breaking up is not an option to me?

    1. Hi Collins, you seem to be in
      Hi Collins, you seem to be in a very difficult situation.

      Trust in relationship is very important. Without trust its difficult for a relationship to work.

      She needs to work toward building the trust back because if you can’t trust her the relationship won’t work.

      Check out this article https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/relationship-problems .

  42. I have been I a r/shop 4
    I have been I a r/shop 4 almost one yr now I trusted my partner soo much and he also trusts me ..a month a go he hv changed how he talked and his behavior too … I asked him if he had an affair outside and he was lyk nop so one day he was going to take a shower so he switched off his 4n coz I was there .this drove me to checking the 4n en I was shocked coz the conversation on WhatsApp with around 4 gals en this broke my trust don’t now if I will trust him anymore I do love him soo much en he says he loves me. we talked abt this issue en he said nothing going on they don’t meet they just talk so I should relax. This thing its affecting me daily coz I rarely eat , I cry a lot coz I wonder wat I dd or wat don’t I give him..He usd not to be lyk this so am confused wat to do.I ask him if we should break up ,or if he needed tym alone en he said I should stop …His parents knows me en loves me a lot … wat will I do please help

    1. Hi Pat, sorry that yo are in
      Hi Pat, sorry that yo are in this situation.

      Trust is very important in any relationship to work.

      Yo need to take time to think about what you want.

      if yo feel yo can learn to trust him again then you should work at it. But if you feel that trusting him is not possible then you really need to consider about breaking up.

  43. This guy proposed to me and i
    This guy proposed to me and i fell in love wit him since the first day. He is everythin i want. But he is always being bothered by otuers girls. And he doesnt seem to mind. Girls even beg him to sleep wit them. He is almost lik a womanizer. But i love him soooo much. Wat can i do pls. Am goin crazy

    1. Hi Bridget, Marriage is a
      Hi Bridget, Marriage is a serious commitment and one needs to be sure of it before committing.

      Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. There needs to be trust good communication and other virtues.

      Take time and think about what you want for yourself in the long run. All the best.

  44. hi, I have been with my
    hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 3years now. he had his first love who later went to the covenant and she is a nun now.today, I found messages in his phone with the nun on how hot sex they had yesterday. right now am confused. how do I confront him? is that real cheating considering that she is a nun? what do I do?

    1. Hi Evelyne, sorry that yo are
      Hi Evelyne, sorry that yo are going through this. cheating can be devastating to anyone who goes through it. it does not matter who he is doing it with its still cheating. read some more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/cheating .

  45. I have been in a relationship
    I have been in a relationship with a lady for 3 years now. Things were OK until I begin noticing her reluctant attitude towards things that we both enjoyed doing and all the time she is accusing me of cheating so I decided to watch carefully recently I found out that she is secretly dating her ex -guy I questioned her she denied it but later the ex-boyfriend called me over him noticing my call so much we did talk well as guys. I later asked her she denied and it became an argument between us before she did agree and ask me to give her time. After a month I asked what is still going on but she told me nothing but just the next day I find out they are still hanging out

    1. Hi Miles,

      Hi Miles,

      Sorry that you are going through this. Have you given a thought about what you are going to do about it? Thanks for sharing your story with us.

  46. Hi…I hve bn dating a guy
    Hi…I hve bn dating a guy for three years n its known to his parent but not mine…last month I learnt he has been cheating on me with a certain lady, I asked the girl to come over which she did and the guy threw me out of his house-they spent together that night n yt another…now the guy is back to me and wants us to work things out…I still feel the pain of what he did to me but still I love him much…pliz help what shud I do?

    1. Hi Gladys, Sorry that this is
      Hi Gladys, Sorry that this is happening to you.

      You really need to take time and think about this. Do not be in a rush to act on emotions.

      Love sometimes is not enough to keep a relationship.

      You need to ask yourself several questions like, do you still trust him? can you forgive him? what will stop him from cheating again?

      I know they are difficult questions but they are also very necessary for your decision making.

      Think about it and make a choice. All the best.

  47. My hubby has be cheating on
    My hubby has be cheating on me for quite a while but used to deny that, recently I so some pics of a necked girl on my matrimony bed. When I showed him the nude pics he started crying and ask me to forgive n that he has changed. But I don’t feel comfortable with him any more but he is my husband. What can I do?

    1. Hi Joy,

      Hi Joy,

      Sorry that you are going through this in your relationship.

      Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.

      But don’t blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.

      Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.

  48. Hii,,i have been dating this
    Hii,,i have been dating this guy for 2years now,,we broke up,,in between i was told that he had sex with my best friend which i am not sure of,,,we solved our differences and got back together cz i love him soo much,,,now i saw on his facebook account calling this lady “sweetheart “but when i ask him,he says that its nothing,,,i feel bad cz i even witnessed the messengers on his watsaap but when i ask him he become too harsh…what should i do because i love him

  49. What should i do since my
    What should i do since my relationship is breaking,,,i can’t stand losing him..i love him soo much but i have done him soo many wrong,,he is just tired of me but claims that i will still remain to be the one he loves,,,i can’t take being far from him

    1. Hi Shello,

      Hi Shello,

      Sorry that this is happening but it sounds like you already know what the problem is.

      If you have been wronging him its up to you to do right by him and change your ways while you still have the chance. Its not a guarantee that this will save your relationship but its a good place to start.

  50. Hii we broke up today…i
    Hii we broke up today…i have been unfaithful to him but i stopped immediately bae realized,,,he has been giving me chances but yesterday he told me that his heart is tired…is there any hopes of winning him back again cz he claim to love me soo much and i do love him too

    1. Hi,

      Hi,

      This could be difficult to hear but, unless you have a way to get him back, he can only give you a chance if he decides to. Take time off to evaluate your life and the mistakes you’ve made. If he gives you a chance that’s well and good, but if he doesn’t you need to know how to move on and be a better version of yourself.

      Here is an article that can help https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/after-the-break-up .

  51. hi …

    hi …
    I’ve been dating this guy for 4 yrs I found out he was cheating on me last yr July we almost broke up but he begged for me to give him another church in august I found out he was cheating on me in February with some gal she kept lieing to me was her cousin whenever I asked why she was texting ..
    we argued about this for a very long time but since I love him I decided to GI e him another chance..
    last Saturday I managed to ritriv all his calls since may to October and I found out that he has cheated on me four tyms with 4 different ladies according to the conversations I listened to he had even had physical romance with some of them I’m not sure the extent they got but what I know is he claimed that he cheated with the 1st 2 bcz we had drama around may/June but then there was this gal they cheated till October 2nd and at that time we don’t have any issues .. we have been trying to talk but the conversations I head can’t get of my head I keep asking myself why I had to go thru all this and if my fate with this guy is positive

    1. Hi Debz,

      Hi Debz,

      It sounds like you are going through a tough time. Its never easy when someone breaks your trust by cheating on you.

      You just need to take time and think about what you want for yourself. You need to make up your mind whether that is the kind of relationship you want to be in or you would want to move on.

      You need to be objective and try to not reason with emotions alone because as you have learned , Love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.

      Learn more here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/cheating-top-five-facts .

  52. Hi my story is such. I got
    Hi my story is such. I got married to the father of my child on 5.11.16 after 6 years together. I’m 17.12.16 I found a used condom wrapper in his wardrobe. Our situation is because of work we live in two different provinces. Hence he us all the time to cheat on me. When I approached him he denied it point blank which I was expecting. I asked for an explanation which he couldn’t give me. Note this man has his own flat. Then he accused me of planting the condom in his wardrobe. I asked to see his phone which he refused. I’m saying of you innocent like you say you are why then is he hesitating for me to see the phone only one conclusion GUILT. I know I might be acting hastily but I want out. Never in my vows did I agree to be cheated on this was not part and parcel of the package Pls help

    1. If u re finding it difficult
      If u re finding it difficult to cope nd its affecting ur daily activities,dat shows its unhealthy to remain in such relatioship.bt ladies find it diffcult to dump d man dey av lovd i think u shud discuss wt him nd fill d gap,ur relatioshp is mre important dan ur job…

      1. Thanks for your input Phatima
        Thanks for your input Phatima

  53. x that is not a relationship
    x that is not a relationship worth being into, because its vry diffult to form an intimate relationship with a chic who sleps with different men

    1. Thanks for your input Kamau.
      Thanks for your input Kamau.

  54. I am currently in a
    I am currently in a relationship and my gf doesn’t trust me. What should I do, we have talked about this with her brother and mom,but so far there is no indication of future trust. She has a kid with me and. I am so lost in confusion. Kindly help

    1. Hey Salim, You have to…
      Hey Salim, You have to talked to her mother and brother, but have you talked to her? Have you talked about where these trust issues are coming from so you can address the issues… Trust is important for any relationship and without trust it maybe challenging to have a fulfilling relationship. Find a good time and talk about where this could be coming from so you find a solution. Check out the following article for more information:-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  55. Hi Salim, do you know the
    Hi Salim, do you know the reason why your partner does not trust you?

    1. There could be a trigger to
      There could be a trigger to her mistrust…do a self assessment and address the concerns

      1. (No subject)
        Thank you for your thoughts Nzuki.

    2. Don’t fight a losing battle…
      Don’t fight a losing battle bro

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution James.

      1. I have a boyfriend that I…
        I have a boyfriend that I love so much but he is cheating

        1. Hi Bleasing, so sorry to…

          Hi Bleasing, so sorry to hear that! The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not.

    3. Mayb u don’t satisfy her…
      Mayb u don’t satisfy her sexually

      1. Thank you Junea. Partners…
        Thank you Junea. Partners can always talk about sex to improve the experience for both.

        1. I suppose u must be having…
          I suppose u must be having a problem yoursel, may be dont know how to love and sex is not. the only requirement in marriage,check yourself guy!!!

          1. Thank you E’Beth, while sex…
            Thank you E’Beth, while sex is an essential part of a a marriage relationship, there’s certainly more than sex in such a relationship including companionship, love and friendship.

          2. Its optional anyways. Drop…
            Its optional anyways. Drop the marriage and move on with your life…

          3. Hey Kay, thank you for your…

            Hey Kay, thank you for your contribution.

    4. No and his always telling im…
      No and his always telling im doing something im not doing

      1. Hey Ashley, what can we do…

        Hey Ashley, what can we do fr you?

      1. Hey Joy, welcome to Love…

        Hey Joy, welcome to Love Matters Africa.

    5. Thanks so much I really…
      Thanks so much I really appreciate

      1. Hi Oluwakemi, we are always…

        Hi Oluwakemi, we are always pleased to help.

  56. hi,

    hi,
    i got this lady whom ive 3 children with, i love her really much though she takes ma love 4 granted….dat she can even make appointments with guys in ma presence on phone asking her who the person was she tells u collegemate…she times me once am away at work…goes out there n comes back be4 me….looking thru her phone …its just terrible…wondering what i should do…i think of breaking up but then how about the kids…making matters worse….sex is terrible…she totally doesnt want it with me at all..im only 29yrs and she is always talking of seperating beds …some advise pls

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Tony,

      Have you talked to her about these concerns? If you feel she is cheating on you the best way to to raise this with her to get to know what could be going on. What seems to have happened in your relationship is a breakdown in communication which has led to you both growing apart as partly reflected in your sex life. While you are thinking about the children, it is important that you both talk about the state of your relationship and agree on how to proceed. Check out the following articles for more information.

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

    2. you better move out reason u…
      you better move out reason u married her while she is having kids and yet she is dating others.don’t fight, move out and other things.she has known how weak you are as well she has no love with you.you are like a photo in the house.

    3. My friend… Jst move on…
      My friend… Jst move on with your life……. She is not the only one

      1. please more advise what…
        please more advise what about the kids i have similar issue with my wife had a daughter for me

        1. Hello there, it is important…

          Hello there, it is important that you both try and protect your children when a relationship falls apart considering that your actions will affect the children negatively or positively. Talk and agree on how to co-parent your children even if you are not together.

        2. Sometimes u maybe cheated on…
          Sometimes u maybe cheated on with the actual father to your so called daughter….first put the concern forward to her n if no response then sure its yo daughter… Boss there a many serious women out there waiting for u… Bless u bro

          1. We appreciate your…

            We appreciate your contribution Mari.

    4. Am sorry to say dis but yo…
      Am sorry to say dis but yo stupid wat a u still doing with her just separate take yo children to yo mother she will take care of her grandchildren instead of getting aids

      1. Am married and my husband is…
        Am married and my husband is still cheating on me,he even had the guts to blame me for it,I really felt bad my self esteem was so down,I even changed for him but he still cheats n pick his mistress phone when we r together,am really trying to hold on just for my son,sometimes I even think of revanging but I cant

        1. Hey Lavender, it is never…

          Hey Lavender, it is never easy to deal with a cheating partner, it can lead to feeling angry, hurt, worthless, and helpless. It is worsened by the fact that he does it without remorse. Consider giving yourself some time and space to think things over. Reflect on your relationship and try to understand that besides cheating, what other issues are at play. Don’t take any major decisions immediately. Think them over carefully and be very sure of whatever you decide. Check out this article for more information: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating-top-five-facts

    5. Its evident your partner has…
      Its evident your partner has fallen out of live with you n is trying her best to have you break up with her.Sometimes,staying in a loveless relationship for the”sake of the kids”does more harm to them than you can imagine.
      Take a break from her,maybe move out n give yourselves space,let her re evaluate your value in her life.Sometimes too much love only destroys.
      Learn to love yourself as much as you love her.
      Again if there’s no sex at all,she is getting it elsewhere.Save yourself some depression n probably a disease.

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution Wakihiu.

      2. I have a guy I love him so…
        I have a guy I love him so very much nd he didn’t give me attention nd he said he love me he don’t use to call me nd am afraid bcuz I don’t want to loose him wat should I do

      3. Love your comment bro. Too…
        Love your comment bro. Too much love spoils things.

    6. I think you should ask her…
      I think you should ask her what she wants and confront her about the other relationships. You should ask her about yo way forward and about the kids. Discuss it coz there is nothing worse than forcing yourself to spend eternity with someone who does not love you the way you love them.

      1. Thank you Pesh for your…
        Thank you Pesh for your contribution.

    7. Pray 2 God Neva touch her…
      Pray 2 God Neva touch her tek care of da children.

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution Bro Emma.

      2. What if the man is the…
        What if the man is the person cheating. You caught him on his phone on different occasions n you are married with kids

        1. Hey Katty, it is important…

          Hey Katty, it is important to talk about this and then decide on how to proceed. The person that cheated should be willing to apologize, change and commit to the relationship. On the other hand you need to be willing to forgive and work together with your husband to rebuild trust in your relationship if this is what you both want. If you no longer feel that your relationship can work, that you can trust your partner again, it maybe time to break up. In this case, you will also have to agree on how to parent your children when separate. We wish you all the best, have a look at this articles for more tips;- 

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

    8. If that’s the case, don’t…
      If that’s the case, don’t wait any more.You are harming yourself. just separate, and if possible in a court of law. If the kids are yours, just stay and care for them. she has already confirmed one of the causes of devorce i.e,(adultery).

      1. We appreciate your…

        We appreciate your contribution Amos.

    9. same here my husband always…
      same here my husband always cheats on me and not with on girl it’s about ten now, doesn’t have time for me and my daughter he lies that he has gone to work bt spends 2 weeks with another women he never cared what were eating……if I decide to leave him he always make drama and since we met in 2017 I’ve never cheated on him bt he always am confused now I need some advices and help please

      1. Hi Susan, thank you for…

        Hi Susan, thank you for reaching out to us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. When it comes to love and marriage, I am sure that you are already aware that it takes a lot of faith, trust and commitment to build a happy family. If one or both partners are not able to commit or trust one another, then it can be quite destructive for any relationship as you have realized when it comes to the relationship you are currently in. If you are aware that he is consciously taking advantage of your trust, commitment and faith in your relationship and you feel that it is not sustainable for you or your daughters future, then it is up to you to come to terms with what is happening and consider whether it is worth it for you, your daughter and both of your futures. Click on this link to find out more about cheating and we hope it helps: 

        https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/why-do-people-cheat

        Please let us know how it goes and have a wonderful week ahead!

  57. Hello Mr love matters l have…
    Hello Mr love matters l have been in love with this guy for a couple of months.A month ago he claims that his ex girlfriend has gone to their home with a kid claiming that the kid is his and she wont go away unless married to him his parents agrees with that lady on his side he says he not marrying her because we are in love.l dont even how to handle this because nowadays he has cut communication as usual bt when l call to give the way forward he keeps quiet

    1. Hi Glenda. Perhaps you nee…
      Hi Glenda. Perhaps you nee to give him time to address those issues before you go any further with him. There is little you can do in this situation. He needs to address the issues with his ex before your relationship can go forward. After this you can then decide how to proceed whether the child id his or not. We wish you well.

  58. Nothing painful than dating…
    Nothing painful than dating a cheater.

  59. How will I know that my…
    How will I know that my girlfriend do not have sex with some body when we are far apart

  60. Ov couse I even don’t want…
    Ov couse I even don’t want her to receive calls any how when in known number

  61. My girlfriend doesn’t want…
    My girlfriend doesn’t want to introduce me to her family members, is she inlove wth me?

    1. Hi Mwamuye, Have you asked…
      Hi Mwamuye, Have you asked her why she is uncomfortable introducing you to her family? This is a good place to start so that together you can address the issues.

  62. i cheated on my lover after…
    i cheated on my lover after sometimes he realised it but i still love him and he also does so because he continues texting me and calling me but then the problem is how iam i going to make him trust me once .again .i did so bcoz he failed me on the day i didnt expect him todo so

    1. Hey Purity, You can begin by…
      Hey Purity, You can begin by asking for forgiveness for this and then expressing you commitment to him and the relationship. There is no easy way to rebuild trust, if he is willing to give you a chance be patient because this may take time.

  63. Jealousy/ total insecurity…
    Jealousy/ total insecurity.
    How do you handle a man who is so insecure to a point of being jealous of your success.
    And goes to an extend of obstructing success in your business.
    To a state of enjoying
    when you are unstable?
    Is this really love?

    1. Hello Amber, It is…
      Hello Amber, It is unfortunate insecurity on the part of your partner has pushed this far. Do you know where this insecurity is coming from? Have you talked about it to atleast find a solution?
      You need to think about which kind of a partner you want to be with, a person that celebrates your success even challenges you to achieve more or one who is insecure and work against your progress and success. Take time think about it and make an informed choice. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-top-five-facts

  64. Not really. Knowing everyone…
    Not really. Knowing everyone means she is ready to live with you.

    1. Thank you for your…
      Thank you for your contribution.

  65. My boyfriend has been…
    My boyfriend has been cheated on me many times and I always forgive him but he keeps repeating the same. I love him. What should I do?

  66. I have a very beautiful wife…
    I have a very beautiful wife but and love her yet I keep sleeping with young ladies and married women.I have tried to stop this behavior but it has become too hard.I like women so much and having sex with varieties.what should I do to stop this,?help me

    1. Hi Simon, You need to think…
      Hi Simon, You need to think about what you could be looking for or missing in the other relationship that pushes to seek it in others. You can then try and make your relationship as fulfilling so that you don’t have to look for it out there. A behavior that one picks up or learns along the way can also be unlearnt. Take deliberate steps to change, avoid triggers or situations that may expose or lead you to want to have sex with other people. The change may not be instant but you can small steady steps toward the desired change.

  67. Am in love with a married…
    Am in love with a married man and he also loves me so much what should I do

    1. Hi Prossy, Have you talked…
      Hi Prossy, Have you talked about the future of your relationship? You need to think bout the kind of partner you want now and in the days to come and also the kind of relationship you want to have. You can then make a decision on the way forward. Remember, he is cheating with you on his wife and nothing perhaps may stop him from doing this with another.

    1. Thank you for your…
      Thank you for your contribution George.

    1. Thank you for your…
      Thank you for your contribution Hassan.

  68. My husband was my first cut…
    My husband was my first cut.We’ve been together for nearly 8yrs but in the middle of those yrs,he cheated on me with his workmate and treated me so badly.The workmate was later transferred and my hubby apologized to me.We are still together but honestly,I don’t trust him.I can’t even seem to forget every bit of heart break he made me go through.In fact,I am not so sure whether I still love him or not.

  69. Hello Ryta, So sorry about…
    Hello Ryta, So sorry about this. Getting over a cheating incident can be tough, but if both partners are willing to work out the relationship they maybe able to make it work. You need to think about what you want moving forward, if you no longer love your husband and can’t even trust him like you did, it maybe time to breakup. Have a look at the this article with tips to help you recover;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

    1. Welcome to Love Matters…
      Welcome to Love Matters Anthony. What would you like to join?

  70. You are welcome Victor.
    You are welcome Victor.

  71. I think going through your…
    I think going through your partner’s phone can raise issues. Just trust her and believe that she is faith ful to you. We all have different magnitudes of privacy. Respecting her privacy improves her trust on you.

    1. Thank you for your thoughts…
      Thank you for your thoughts Eugene.

  72. I honestly feel like trust…
    I honestly feel like trust is not even a thing anymore. Almost everybody is cheating on their partner in one way or another. Porn, Sexting with other people…you name them. Soon, cheating will probably be as normal as Kenyans eating chapatis on Sundays. Wanna see some of the stupid excuses people give for cheating today? I found this article quite relatable. Check it out!
    http://guytalk.xyz/2018/04/12/stupid-excuses-people-give-for-cheating-today/

    1. Thank you for your thoughts…
      Thank you for your thoughts and for sharing Masanii.

  73. I have a girlfriend who I…
    I have a girlfriend who I love so much and I think she loves me too, we have been together for about 1 yr now. The problems began when she moved to another town for work, calls begun to reduce she take so long to reply my test. When I ask she say she is always busy. Is it possible that she is cheating and do long distance relationship work?please help a disturbed bro.

    1. Hey Kimiye, it’s not…

      Hey Kimiye, it’s not possible to tell if she is cheating on you but it is important you share this concern with her. Remember the intention should be to share with her what you have observed and not to accuse her a cheater. This way she will have an opportunity to let you know what could be going on then together you can agree on how to proceed. Long distance relationships do work if the partners are willing to make the relationship work. Some of the things you can do to try make the relationship work including frequent communication which you can make work using the different available mediums of communications, plan together for the future and work together toward that future and lastly plan and spend time together from time to time as resources will allow. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  74. I caught my girlfriend…
    I caught my girlfriend cheating on me with my friend. She apologized and said it was this once only but I am not able to trust her again. My mind says run my heart says give her a chance. Help me make the right decision…

    1. Hi Faith, when a partner…

      Hi Faith, when a partner cheats they break the rules of the relationship and it also affects trust in the relationship. Sometimes a person can change and commit to the relationship you have, unfortunately there is no way to predict the future and whether they will indeed commit to what you have. This is a decision only you can make, you have to take sometime and think about whether you are willing to give her a chance and then make a decision on how to proceed, to break up or get back together. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

  75. I think my hubby is cheating…
    I think my hubby is cheating on me. He has changed so much, gets angry over small issues, he is always gets home and says he is busy at work. I am stressed and I want out of this relationship.

    1. Hey Esther, so sorry about…

      Hey Esther, so sorry about this. However,  there is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/is-your-partner-cheating

  76. How do I deal with a person…
    How do I deal with a person that I love but cheats on me repeatedly? At what point is it enough…

    1. Hi Irene, we are so sorry…

      Hi Irene, we are so sorry about this. Only you can decide when it is enough for you. Have you talked to your partner on this issues of cheating on you repeatedly? If you have talked about this and he has not changed then it is time for you to make a very hard decision, the decision to break up. This is a decision only you can make, take time and think about what you want from a relationship and then decide how to proceed. If you choose to stay it may mean to your partner that you are okay with this behavior. Think carefully about this and make an informed choice. Check out this article;-  https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  77. I recently cheated on my…
    I recently cheated on my partner and I am now feeling guilty. I didn’t intent to should I confess or not…?

    1. Hey Liz, you need to think…

      Hey Liz, you need to think about what this confession is likely to do to your relationship and also what not confessing will do to you. You will have to then choose the option that you feel you can live, think about the consequences and then choose what you are willing to live with. Also, take time and think about what led you to the cheating as you think about how to proceed with your relationship. 

  78. Hi,i have been dating a man…
    Hi,i have been dating a man now for two years,i dont know any of his family or friend.Whenever i ask him he tells me not to hurry things.He has just changed he can go for a month without talking to me.When i ask he say he’s been busy.He has never appreciated me as.When i have a problem and need his help he’s never there for me.Now i feel he is cheating and i love him so much.Am now stressed and dont know what to do.Please help

    1. Hello Sharon, we are sorry…

      Hello Sharon, we are sorry about whats going on in your relationship. It is difficult to say what could be going on with your partner or whether he is cheating on you, you however need to think about what kind of relationship you want to have and whether what is happening in your relationship is what you want. You seem to have done your best to raise the concerns with him and it may seems he does not have the time for you. Take time and think about what you want now and in the days to come, think about whether you are willing to try and reach out to him to see if he is willing to change. If he is not, you are going to have to make the difficult decision of breaking up with him. This will be difficult since you are still in love with him. Sad reality about relationships, is that not all of them will last for a lifetime and sometimes it may be of no fault of yours.Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      We wish you well.

  79. Can a relationship go back…
    Can a relationship go back to normal after one partner has cheated?

    1. Hey Chax, it is possible for…

      Hey Chax, it is possible for a relationship go back to what it was or even better after one partner has cheated. It will however depend on whether the two partners are willing to make it work. The partner at fault needs to admit their fault but also the the other partner should be willing to forgive. If the two partners are willing then they can make it work. In some cases though, cheating may mean the end of a relationship. Think about about whether this possible in your relationship and talk about it with your partner to see if it will work. We do wish you well. Check out the following articles;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  80. I caught my husband red…
    I caught my husband red handed having sex with our house girl. I am in shock I don’t even know what to do. It has been 5 weeks since I delivered our first child. The maid says this has been going on for months now. He doesn’t want to talk about it, I just hate him. How could he do this to me at this time

    1. Hi, So sorry about this…

      Hi, So sorry about this. There is really no good reason to explain cheating. It is however important for you both talk about this and then agree on how to proceed. If your partner is unwilling to talk about what happened then you will have to take sometime, think about what your options are and then make a decision on how to proceed. Sometimes the person who cheated can seek for forgiveness and then change and fully commit to the relationship, this however, you can only learn if you do talk about this and your partner is willing to be open and honest about it. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage We do wish you well.

  81. I have a gut feeling that my…
    I have a gut feeling that my partner is cheating on me based on how he is acting of late. I don’t know how to deal with this to walk away or confront him?

    1. Hey Rachel,   there is no…

      Hey Rachel,   there is no way to know for sure if your partner is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/how-can-i-know-my-partner-is-cheating-on-me

  82. I am currently dating a work…
    I am currently dating a work colleague. We both moved to this town for work. I think he is cheating on me or he was already in a relationship when we started out. He is no longer available over the weekends because he has to travel sometimes I get to know when he already left. He doesn’t responds to calls but prefers texting when he has traveled. When I raised this with him he just said he was dealing with some stuff and nothing more. Could this mean he has another person?

    1. There is no way to know for…

      There is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  83. I started masturbation when…
    I started masturbation when I was 12 years. I am now married and still do. I feel guilty everytime and feel I am cheating on my wife. How can I stop doing it?

    1. Hey Wycliffe, masturbation…

      Hey Wycliffe, masturbation can be a great way to relieve sexual tension especially when your partner is unavailable. People in relationships also do masturbate, you may need to think about what makes you masturbate and whether the reason are positive and negative. If you do feel you should stop, think about what triggers this and then begin to avoid this. For instance if it is porn, you need to avoid porn and fill your leisure time with other productive activities. Check out the following articles;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/is-masturbation-cheating

  84. This is my dillema right now…
    This is my dillema right now, what to do?

    1. Hi, so sorry about this?…

      Hi, so sorry about this? Have you spoken with your partner about this? It maybe important to talk with your partner about the cheating to see whether they are sorry about and whether your relationship has a chance. Remember, you also need to think about whether you are willing to forgive them if they ask and trust them like you did before. It is possible to work things out and go on to have a great relationship. All the best. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  85. Can a relationship continue…
    Can a relationship continue after one partner has cheated

    1. Hi Nora, it is possible for…

      Hi Nora, it is possible for a relationship to be restored after a cheating incidence. Both partners however, need to be committed to making the relationship work moving forward. The person who cheated needs to acknowledge their wrong and seek forgiveness while the person who was cheated on needs to be willing to accept the apology and forgive their partner. Both partners need to agree to start on a clean slate. Sometimes however, cheating may mean the end of a relationship. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating-top-five-facts

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

  86. What really make a…
    What really make a relationship work?

    1. Dear Sue, one first needs to…

      Dear Sue, one first needs to decide which kind of a person they want for a partner and then talk about your expectations early in the relationship and also have your partner tell you of their expectations. Also, communication that’s open and honest will also help to ensure that you are able to address issues when they come up. Lastly, you want to be with a person whom you love and respect and they also do the same for you. Wish you well. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/is-your-relationship-the-right-one

  87. We are in a long distance…
    We are in a long distance relationship. My fiance that I have been with for about two years went to work in another city but now I suspect he is seeing another woman. He is always busy and he takes long to return my calls.He used to come see me every weekend but now 2 times or only once a month. I am afraid of confronting him because he is the one who has supported my education. What should I do?

    1. Dear Claris, something has…

      Dear Claris, something has changed about your partner and your relationship. Making a long distance relationship work can be challenging. But if both partner are committed they can make it work. It is important you talk about the changes you have observed in your partner including the lack of communication and the reduced visits. These are the things that would make your relationship work, without them the relationship is likely to fail. There is no other way other that to confront your partner about this, the issue is how you will bring up this conversation. I recognize he has played what you believe is an important role in your life and this is the more reason why you need to talk to about this and find a solution moving forward. Find a good time to bring this issues up, remember the intention is to accuse him of cheating but to share you feelings and concerns based on what you have observed. This way you can together agree on how to proceed. Check out the following articles for more;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  88. my husband cheated on me and…
    my husband cheated on me and I am unable to overcome the feelings of betrayal, anger, disappointment+++ How can I do this? Can my relationship really work after this cheating?

    1. Hey there, so sorry about…

      Hey there, so sorry about this. The feelings you are experiencing are normal. You partner broke your trust in him. This was not your fault since you have no control over the choices your partner makes. Has your husband shown any remorse since this happened? Has he apologized? Give yourself sometime, think about whether you want to forgive him and keep the relationship or not. It will take time before you can feel better about this. Lastly, the relationship can still work if both partners are committed and willing to make it work. Your partner would have to first seek forgiveness from you and you would have to forgive him and then both of you commit to the relationship and each other for it to work. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  89. My husband is cheating and I…
    My husband is cheating and I am pregnant what should i do?

    1. Hey Sylviah, so sorry about…

      Hey Sylviah, so sorry about this. Have you talked with him about this? It is important that you find a good time to talk about this and based on your conversation you can then make a decision on how to proceed. I know this is a difficult conversation but it is important to talk about it to agree on the way forward. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  90. Hi love matters, I had a…
    Hi love matters, I had a boyfriend who we broke up. There is a new guy after me who only wants to sleep with me because this is all he talks about when he calls or texts. He also sends nude pics and wants me to send too. He claims to love me dearly…should i trust this guy?

    1. Hey Ashley, I couldn’t…

      Hey Ashley, I couldn’t possibly tell you whether to trust him or not, this is a decision only you can make. The decision to have sex is one that you only should make. You should only have sex with someone if you feel they are the right person and it is the right time in the relationship. If you are not ready and you are concerned about his requests for sex, you need to let him know. Also, if you do not wish to send him any photos of your own, do let him know. Take time and think about whether you want to be with this person and then talk about what you want from a relationship and have him share with you what he wants from a relationship. This way you can decide on how to proceed. 

  91. I have been dating this man…
    I have been dating this man for the year and a half and over this period I have not met any of his friends or even family. He has met my family and friends. He claim to be an indoors person so we never go out we are always in. Should I trust him, I feel like he is hiding something from me!

    1. Dear Zahra, have you talked…

      Dear Zahra, have you talked to him about this? It is important that you talk to him and share your concerns with him. At times when you hold on to you thoughts you may end up taking things the wrong way. Relationships are about compromise, while he enjoys the indoors, if you prefer the outdoors, do talk about it so that you spend some of the time in the outdoors. Find a good time to talk about these issues so you can agree on how to proceed. Have a look at this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  92. Hey Love matters, I have…
    Hey Love matters, I have been in a relationship with a guy for about 3 years. He has since changed so much, he makes empty promises when he says he will call he chooses not to or even when he says he will come to check up on me. I do not want to loose him, what should I do?

    1. Hey Jean, have you talked to…

      Hey Jean, have you talked to him about this? It is important that you talk to your partner and let him know what you have observed. Open and honest communication will help improve your relationship. Find a good time and talk about what your expectations as you also allow your partner to share their expectations. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  93. Why men cheat aki??? Like…
    Why men cheat aki??? Like right in your face. I am soo done with this relationship issues ???

    1. Dear Silvya, so sorry about…

      Dear Silvya, so sorry about. People cheat for various reasons. Best thing for you to do right now is to take sometime and heal from this. Unfortunately, not all relationship will last a life time. However, just because one relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean the next one won’t. Take sometime to heal and get over this hurt and when you feel ready you can try again. Remember this was not your fault and you have no control of the choices of your partner. We wish you well. Have a look at this articles;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/why-do-people-cheat

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

  94. Hae, have been dating this…
    Hae, have been dating this guy for 2yrs and I don’t trust him I think he’s cheating on me bcoz he keeps hiding his phone when we are together when he recieves a call he has to answer in another room away from me.He keeps telling me that I should trust him because he is with me. Do you think he is cheating coz I feel like quitting?

    1. Hey Pesh, there is no way to…

      Hey Pesh, there is no way to know for sure if your partner is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally, if you hold on to your thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not. We wish you well.

  95. These days my partner takes…
    These days my partner takes long to finish when we are having sex and sometimes he does not ejaculate? Does this mean he is cheating?

    1. Hi Sarah, your partner maybe…

      Hi Sarah, your partner maybe experiencing delayed ejaculation which means ejaculating way later than desired – or even not at all. This mostly affects mostly older men. This can also be caused by psychological factors including fear of sex, having been abused, or thinking that sex isn’t good. One can see a doctor about this, who will ask questions about what could be causing the problem and treat accordingly. This may mean seeing a psychologist to discuss any issues one may have. It’s important you talk to your partner and get to know what could be going on and together get a solution for this. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men

  96. Hi love matters,ave been…
    Hi love matters,ave been married for two yrs we have a son one yr old,my husband has this problem of chatting with women naughty chats asking wats there colour of panties they were,he even chats with his exes telling them he stills loves them i asked him abt this and he said he only enjoys them bt its me he loves nw i feel i no longer trust or love him.bt we are still living under one roof for the sake of our son.is this ok because i feel totally empty.

    1. Hey Kendy, sorry about this…

      Hey Kendy, sorry about this. Have you talked to your partner about this, specifically about how this behaviour makes you feel and the fact that it has affected your trust and love toward him? There is no way to know if he is indeed cheating on you or not, but if the conversations are intimate and they continue, this may lead to physical intimacy. Do talk to your partner and let him know your concerns including how this has affected your love and trust toward him. Also, do let him know what your expectations are moving forward. Think about what options you have should he choose to continue with this. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  97. I broke up with this guy…
    I broke up with this guy because of cheating. He was still sleeping with his ex. He has been bothering me saying he has changed and that he has never loved any woman like he loves and he wants me back. Can someone really change and be faithful?

    1. Hello Cecilia, anyone can…

      Hello Cecilia, anyone can change the more important question is whether your ex has changed and whether you believe him. There is no way to tell if he has changed, you need to think about whether you want to trust him and his word.Take sometime and think and then make an informed choice.

  98. I broke up with him but I…
    I broke up with him but I still love him and he refuses to talk to me what do I do?

    1. Hello Rael, you would need…

      Hello Rael, you would need to talk to him to see if he is interested in getting back with you. If he is unwilling to talk with you, it maybe his way of saying no. Remember, he may have already moved on and for this reason you also need to allow yourself to move on. Check out the following articles;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-can-i-get-back-my-ex

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  99. How do I know if my…
    How do I know if my boyfriend is cheating on me?

    1. Hi Eve, has your partner…

      Hi Eve, has your partner changed his regular routine? Is he working late more often? Has he changed how he handles his phone? Has he become secretive? These are some of the signs that may indicate something has changed about your partner. It is important however that you share your concerns with your partner, let them know what you have observed especially because holding on to your thoughts maybe misleading or you may end up misinterpreting issues. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  100. will my relationship work…
    will my relationship work because my partner cheated on me?

    1. Hi Shiko, so sorry about…

      Hi Shiko, so sorry about this. Your relationship may or may not work this is because your partner has to be willing to apologize and also commit to the relationship and you will also need to be willing to forgive them. It is important you take sometime and think about whether you still want to be in the relationship and then talk to your partner to see if they are remorseful. You can both then decide how to move forward. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

  101. I walked in on him with…
    I walked in on him with another woman he says things just happened he didn’t intent or plan to cheat. This is not the first time but I still love and can’t imagine losing I am so confused I don’t know what to do?

    1. Hi Carole, if this isn’t the…

      Hi Carole, if this isn’t the first time your partner has cheated on you, you need to decide whether this behaviour of breaking the rules of your relationship is acceptable top you. If it’s not, you need to get your partner to commit to the relationship or you need to break up with them if they are unwilling to change and commit it maybe time for you to break up with them. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  102. how can you start rebuilding…
    how can you start rebuilding ur relationship

    1. Hi Jemimah, it is important…

      Hi Jemimah, it is important to start by thinking about and addressing the reason that may have caused a breakdown in the first place. One of the key essentials of a relationship is open and honest communication. This ensures that partners can address issues when they came up without hurting each other or the relationship. Lastly, the other person must also be willing to rebuild the relationship. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  103. I think my gf is cheating on…
    I think my gf is cheating on me with my friend, they have been acting all weird of late when we are all together. I cant put a finger on it but there is something weird going between these two and to make matters worse i leave and work in a different town…how can I know for sure?

    1. Hey Duke, there is no way to…

      Hey Duke, there is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not. 

  104. Cheating!!!!!
    Why do guys…

    Cheating!!!!!
    Why do guys blv they have the right to cheat and ladies do not… This is what most guys do tell me…
    But why??? Is the blood flowing in guys vein different from the one flowing in ladies vein…

    1. Hey Mabel, people cheat for…

      Hey Mabel, people cheat for various reasons, both men and women cheat. Some of the reason advances include genetics, that some people are more likely to cheat than others, others like the thrill and rush they get from cheating and in some cases people just choose to cheat on their for reason best known to them. It maybe useful to find what may have led one to cheat if it happens in a relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/why-do-people-cheat

  105. My girlfriend doesn’t want…
    My girlfriend doesn’t want to introduce me to her family, is she inlove wth me or she has someone else?

    1. Hey Kenny, have you found…

      Hey Kenny, have you found out from her why she doesn’t want to introduce you? It is normal for you to feel that it is time for you to meet her family and it is also okay for her to feel that it’s not yet time. All you need to do is talk about this and agree on when is the right time and what needs to happen before you are introduced. We wish you well. 

  106. My girlfriend has been…
    My girlfriend has been chatting with another guy on Facebook all the time even when we are together. She likes or comments on all his posts. Do you think she is cheating on me?

    1. Hello Ryan, have you raised…

      Hello Ryan, have you raised this concern with her. It’s not possible to tell whether she is cheating on you. It is however the moor ant that you have this conversation with her to get to know what could be going on. Give your partner a chance to explain what could be going before you make a decision on whether to keep the relationship or not. Check out this article for information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/is-your-partner-cheating

  107. I broke up with my ex 6…
    I broke up with my ex 6 months because of his cheating but Now I cant stop think about him all the time. I almost called him the other. I just dont know how to survive the holidays with him. Help?

    1. Hi Joyce, you mean the…

      Hi Joyce, you mean the holidays will be challenging for you without him… Itis normal to have such feelings especially if you were still in love when you broke up. However, you need to remember why you had to break up and make a decision to move forward. You can consider getting a new hobby or even hang out with your friends. Healing and moving on can take time but with time you will feel better. Check out this article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  108. I just found out my guy is…
    I just found out my guy is cheating on me I don’t know what to do feeling soo hurt.

    1. Dear Eve, 

      I am so sorry to…

      Dear Eve, 

      I am so sorry to hear that. I can imagine how you are feeling. It is always a difficult situation getting to know the person that you have trusted and loved is cheating on you. Perhaps, you may consider taking sometime to reflect on the news as you think of the way forward. In the meantime take care of yourself, surround yourself with people that care and love you. 

  109. Why do people cheat. I have…
    Why do people cheat. I have been dating this man for this entire year we met at a friend’s party. This was the first christmass we were to spend together having committed to each other and then I find out he is married with three kids since he ran out of excuses for not being available this christmass to spend time with me. His reason…he was unhappy with his marriage. To think that I gave my all in this relationship drives me insane. I don’t k ow what to do…

    1. Dear Rowsie, we are so sorry…

      Dear Rowsie, we are so sorry about this. It is important for you to realize this was not your fault, you had no control over the actions of the other person. Unfortunately, not all relationships will last a lifetime and this is why sometimes, even when you have done your best, a relationship may not work. Since he is married and he seems to have chosen his family, all you can do is move. It hurts, but it gets better with time, time is a healer. You could start by spending time with friends or even family during this time or get a new hobby, a fun activity you can engage in. Try get rid of all negative feelings, it may take sometime but eventually you will get over this and perhaps even be ready to get a new relationship. We wish you all the best. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  110. Can a marriage recover when…
    Can a marriage recover when your hubby cheats just 2 years in? I really feel hopeless?

    1. Dear Jenniffer, so sorry…

      Dear Jenniffer, so sorry about this. Yes, a marriage can recover after a partner cheats but it takes the commitment of both partners to  make it work. In your case, you need to be willing to forgive your partner who should also be remorseful, ask for forgiveness and commit to the relationship moving forward. Take time and think about whether you are willing to forgive and trust your partner moving forward as you decide how to move forward. Additionally, have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  111. I am keep cheating on my…
    I am keep cheating on my wife and I don’t know why. Help!

    1. Hey Shad, people will cheat…

      Hey Shad, people will cheat for various reasons and it is important for you to take sometime and think about what your reasons are. Sometimes, a person will cheat because they are looking for something they think is lacking in their relationship. Often, open and honest communication will help to address the issues that may have made partners to draw apart. Have a look at the following articles for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/why-do-people-cheat

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  112. I am in a relationship with…
    I am in a relationship with a married guy who provides everything for me including paying some of my college fee. I don’t like it but loosing him will mean loosing a lot as well. He is not unhappy in his marriage but I feel this is not right. I have tried to breakup with him but he refuses to let me go but he also doesn’t want a second wife neither do I want to be a second wife. I don’t know what to do, please advice.

    1. Hey Milkah, if you have…

      Hey Milkah, if you have decided that the right thing to do now is to break up with him, you need to have an honest conversation with him and let him know why you believe being with him is no longer the right thing. While he may not agree with you, you need to be firm about your decision, you don’t need to be cruel but be clear and firm. Choose a good and neutral venue to do this, and try not to get into a discussion of how to make it work. Break up and walk away. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  113. Can a long distance…
    Can a long distance relationship work especially when you are in different counties?

    1. Hi, yes, a long distance…

      Hi, yes, a long distance relationship can work if both partners are committed to making it work. There are essential things that can help the relationship work which include frequent communication, planning and spending quality time together and planning together for the future of the relationship. Have a look at the following article for more tips that will help make it work;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-love-keep-it-hot-with-this-proven-technique

  114. If a guy had many girlfriend…
    If a guy had many girlfriend before meeting you can they really be faithful to one person? I have heard stories about my boyfriend and I am worried?

    1. Hey Jessie, it is really not…

      Hey Jessie, it is really not possible to predict the future. There is no way to tell if he will cheat on you or not, also there is now to verify the information you have or get know what reasons led to the choices he made. If you have concerns the right thing maybe to talk with your partner about your concerns. This is a difficult conversation and for this reason try find a good time to talk about it but also find a good way to bring up this subject by trying not to accuse him a cheat. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  115. I cheated on my husband once…
    I cheated on my husband once and confessed to him after he found out. It was a bad mistake that should not have happened. I spent weeks apologizing to him but he has refused to accept me back, he doesn’t sleep in our bed anymore. When I ask he says I give him time. Its now 6 months no intimacy and poor communication at best. I know this was my fault but how do I get him back I feel everything is falling apart. Help.

    1. Hi Chemu, it is not possible…

      Hi Chemu, it is not possible to tell when your partner will forgive you and have the relationship go back to what it was. you broke the rules of the relationship and the trust your husband had on you. Sometimes it takes time to trust again, one can forgive but trust takes time. You have the option of waiting and hoping soon he will be able to trust you and things can get back to normal, there’s no way of telling how long this will take. The other options is talking about what is going on in the relationship honestly to see if your relationship has a chance or it is time to break up. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  116. I am giving up on…
    I am giving up on relationships been in 3 and they all cheated… ??

    1. Hey Neema, sorry about what…

      Hey Neema, sorry about what happened to your relationships. The unfortunate truth about relationships is that not all of them will last for a lifetime. The break ups were not your fault, they cheated on you, they broke the rules. This however does not mean that you won’t meet a person who will commit to a relationship. Take sometime and heal from these past breakups before moving into a new one. Check out the following article for tips on coping on the breakup;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  117. My ex husband cheated on me…
    My ex husband cheated on me when I was pregnant with our twins. We later broke up he is now back and wants me to go back to what was our home. He was my first and I never wanted to be with another person after him but I am unable to trust that he remain. All I see is the betrayal, what should I do? Will it get better when I go back?

    1. Hello Mercy, so sorry about…

      Hello Mercy, so sorry about happened to your relationship. It is not possible to accurately predict the future, whether you will feel better after moving back in. You may want to start by forgiving him for what he did before you even consider going back. Take sometime and think about whether you are willing to put in effort to make the relationship work, trust was broken and it takes time to rebuild trust when this happens. It  is possible for a relationship to be restored after a cheating incidence but both partners must be willing to work together to make it work out. Have a look at the following article for tips on what you both can do to make it work;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage 

  118. She broke up with me after I…
    She broke up with me after I cheated on her I want her to come back to me because it was a mistake. How can I make her love me again?

    1. Dear Freddie, I am not sure…

      Dear Freddie, I am not sure you can make her do anything she doesn’t want to. All you can do is reach out to her and apologize and hope that would be enough to get her to want to get back with you. Remember, she may or may not be willing to get back with you and whichever decision she makes you will have to respect her choice. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-can-i-get-back-my-ex 

  119. Hi, i had a bf but we broke…
    Hi, i had a bf but we broke up…recently another guy has been after me and every time he calls or txts me he wants me go sleep over at his place…also he whatsups me his private picture of himself naked n ask me to do the same I have refused since he is stranger to me…he claims to love me dearly. should i trust this guy??

    1. Hi Jayne, I am not able to…

      Hi Jayne, I am not able to tell you if you should trust him or not. However, if he is asking you to do things that you do not wish to do, let him know. If you are uncomfortable with him sending you photos of himself do ask him to stop. It is important that you decide how you want to proceed and then let him know. Take sometime and think about whether you are ready to get into an new relationship before making a decision. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  120. I am currently in a…
    I am currently in a relationship and my bf doesn’t trust me at all. What should I do, we have talked about this with him, but there is still no trust. He is a younger than me. Can this kind or relationship work and what can I do to make him trust me?

    1. Hi Nikita, first, such a…

      Hi Nikita, first, such a relationship can work. When it comes to relationships, age is just a number as long as you are both mature to be in a relationship, want to be in that relationship and you are in love. Secondly, trust is an essential part of any relationship. It is important that you find a good time and talk with your partner to find out what is the reason for the distrust. Find out what is causing it and then agree on how to address the issues. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/does-age-difference-matter

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems 

  121. I have a girlfriend who…
    I have a girlfriend who doesn’t want to introduce me to her family members, is she really inlove with me or she is just faking it?

    1. Hi Tobby, have you talked…

      Hi Tobby, have you talked about this with your girlfriend? It maybe useful to talk with your partner and get to know what makes it challenging for her to introduce you to her family. This will help both of you make a decision on how to move forward. There is no way to tell if this means she is not in love with you. 

  122. Pls I want to ask a man who…
    Pls I want to ask a man who proposed to marry you yet not ready to let go of his girlfriend wen ever you talk to him about it he says you insults him that you are not loyal tall just to feel good he blames you for everything thing and never accept that he is wrong always delight in accusing you pls is this marriage worth continuing with thanks

    1. Hello Chi, first marriage is…

      Hello Chi, first marriage is a commitment and to get married means to let go of all other relationships and commit to the one you proposed to or the one you are married to. If he still wants to hold onto to a past relationship it may mean he is not ready for such a commitment. Also, sometimes a person who isn’t loyal is likely to blame the other person in the relationship and accuse them of being disloyal. Relationships are two and they will have challenges from time to time but how partners choose to address the issues when they come up is what makes the difference. Communication is an essential part of addressing such problems when they come up. It is important that you find a good time and talk about the issues going on your relationship before making a decision on hoe to proceed. Check out the following article;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  123. I feel like my boyfriend is…
    I feel like my boyfriend is cheating on me. When we are together his phone is off and he frequently changes his password. I don’t want to offend him, so how can know without any doubt that he is cheating?

    1. Hi Doris, have you talked to…

      Hi Doris, have you talked to your boyfriend about this? There is really no way to know for sure that your partner is cheating on you other than walking in on them. If you have however observed changes that are concerning find a good time to talk about this. This might  be a difficult conversation to have and it is important that as you have this conversation you let your boyfriend know what you have observed as opposed to accusing them of cheating on you. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  124. Can a person who has…
    Can a person who has cheated on you more than ones really change? I love him but I am afraid he will do it again I dont know what to do?

    1. Hi Njesh, it is not possible…

      Hi Njesh, it is not possible to predict with certainty that a person won’t cheat again in the future. On the other other hand people are capable of changing and committing to a relationship. The important question is whether you are willing to forgive him and give him another chance. It is important that you take sometime and think about whether you can trust him as before or not. Trust is an essential part of a relationship and if you are unable to trust him, it maybe time to break up. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  125. I cheated on my girlfriend I…
    I cheated on my girlfriend I feel very guilty I think the only to get over the guilt is to confess to her. Should I confess or die with the guilt?

    1. Hey Boaz, you need to think…

      Hey Boaz, you need to think and weigh carefully the consequences of each choice, to tell or not to tell and then choose the one you are prepared to live with. I can’t tell you to confess or not but you need to take sometime and decide what consequences you are prepared to confront. Sometimes a relationship can survive such, other times it may mean the end of the relationship. Unfortunately, it is difficult to determine how your partner will react to this news. All the best. Check this out;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  126. My husband cheated on me…
    My husband cheated on me last year and he blamed me for it,he really gave some stupid excuses,so this year we decided to work on our marriage but he still cheats and pick’s his phone when we are together, i am trying to hold on an its hard,the worst of all I can’t cheat

    1. Dear Lurvly,so sorry about…

      Dear Lurvly,so sorry about this. Your husband chose to cheat and this was not and is not you fault. If you have spoken about this but he still cheats on you it may be time to break up. Take sometime and think about your options including staying in the relationship or breaking up with your husband and then make a decision that you are willing to leave with. Lastly, cheating will not make you feel better and it may make things worse in your relationship. Have a look at the following articles;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

       

  127. Hiwe broke up today…i have…
    Hiwe broke up today…i have been unfaithful to him but i stopped immediately bae realized,,,he has been giving me chances but yesterday he told me that his heart is tired…is there any hopes of winning him back again cz he claim to love me soo much and i do love him too

    1. Hi, I am not able to tell…

      Hi, I am not able to tell you if you can get back together with your ex, you may have to talk with him to find out whether he is interested in giving you another chance. Try reach out to him to see if he would be willing to to give the relationship another chance. It is important that you also think about why you have been faithful and make a decision to commit and remain faithful to your partner should you get back together. We wish you all the best. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-can-i-get-back-my-ex

  128. He cheated on me and I just…
    He cheated on me and I just can’t trust him anymore. I love him but I can’t trust him?

    1. Hey Debbie, sorry about this…

      Hey Debbie, sorry about this. Trust is essential for any relationship and if you are unable to trust your partner it will be challenging for your relationship to work. If you can no longer trust him, it maybe time to breakup and move on. Have a look at the following articles for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating

  129. I don’t think there is…
    I don’t think there is anything more painful than being cheated on in a relationship. It took me time but I finally got out of the depression.

  130. He cheated again and I I am…
    He cheated again and I I am hearing is excuse no apology he is even blaming me for his actions, so tiered with this!

  131. My boyfriend don’t trust me…
    My boyfriend don’t trust me
    He feels am cheating always when he sees aw intimate am with other guys
    He said it could lead to us breaking up one day

    1. Hey Adanna, it is important…

      Hey Adanna, it is important that you talk with your partner about this so that together you can agree on how to proceed. Trust is an important part of a relationship with out which it can lead to a break up. Find a good time to talk about the issue he has raised and get to know what exactly makes him feel you could be cheating and reassure him of your trust and commitment. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  132. I have tried to stop…
    I have tried to stop cheating on my girlfriend but I have failed. Every time I see a beautiful chick I cant help but pursue her. The girl I am dating is really good to me I love and I know she loves me too but I keep doing things that will hurt . I am scared of loosing her please help me?

    1. Hello Godfrey, being…

      Hello Godfrey, being faithful is a decision you have to make and choose to every single day. This is a choice and decision that only you can make. If you do love her and don’t want to loose her, you will have to make the decision of choosing her daily and not anyone else. If you keep cheating on her, you are likely to loose her. Choose well.

  133. I cheated on my guy with his…
    I cheated on my guy with his friend. It was my birthday which he didn’t show up and I was feeling agree and lonely. I am now feeling guilty. I should I tell or not?

    1. Hi Marion, you need to think…

      Hi Marion, you need to think about the consequences of either telling or not and then make a choice based on the decision you are willing to live with.

  134. If u love and appreciate ur…
    If u love and appreciate ur partner then u don’t have to cheat on him or her

    1. Thank you Ella for your…

      Thank you Ella for your contribution.

  135. I have heard that if you…
    I have heard that if you give up the cookie too soon the relationship will not last. Is this true?

    1. Hey Liza, there is no way to…

      Hey Liza, there is no way to predict how a relationship will go based on how soon you choose to have sex. Some people will choose to wait until marriage but even then a relationship can still fail. It is important to only have sex when you choose, when you feel you are ready, you are with the right person and you feel it is the right time. This is different for everyone, think about it and make a decision based on what you feel is right for you. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/how-soon-is-too-soon

  136. My boyfriend is cheating on…
    My boyfriend is cheating on me but every time I raise issue he turns it around and accuses me of the same. I just feel like breaking up bcz we are not Making any progress…

    1. Hi there, this is one of the…

      Hi there, this is one of the signs of a cheating boyfriend when they constantly accuse you of cheating when you attempt to have the conversation. It is important to think about what you want moving forward, considering communication is important for any relationship toward making your relationship better. Check out the following article for more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  137. My husband has been distant…
    My husband has been distant from the time I got our first baby. I though he was just giving me time to heal after delivery but nothing has changed and it has been months. I have tried to initiate things (sex) but most of the time he says he is tied or we do it but I feel he is not there with me. I don’t know what is going on, is it the baby weight I have gained that now turns him off? Pleas help.

    1. Hi Silvya, so sorry about…

      Hi Silvya, so sorry about this. It is difficult to say what could be going on with your husband. Having a baby can bring about changes in a relationship but it doesn’t have to negatively affect your relationship. It is important that you find a good time to talk with your partner to get to know what could be going on. Let him know the various changes you have observed to get to know what could have caused this. A relationship works when both partners participate in making it work, this is not your fault. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  138. My husband has been cheating…
    My husband has been cheating on me the woman called me to tell me that they have a child together who is now 2 year. I am very hurt I don’t know what to do.

    1. Hello Jackie, this is heart…

      Hello Jackie, this is heart breaking news. Have you talked to your husband about this? It is important that you speak to your husband about this to get to know his side of the story. This will help inform the decision you will make next. You need to begin to think about your options moving forward. Have a look at this article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  139. I am with this guy for one…
    I am with this guy for one year but I don’t know any of his friends or family. He says he is serious with me but I feel he is just playing me. I don’t whether to wait or remain open to another person just incase. Any advice because I don’t want to waste time or for my time to be wasted.

    1. Dear Maria, it is difficult…

      Dear Maria, it is difficult to know whether he is hiding something or he just doesn’t feel it is time yet. Introducing a partner to family and friends as well is a big step forward. You need to talk about your concerns with him, let him know how you feel about this and then agree on how to proceed together. Remember, opening up to another person means cheating and this will hurt what you have even further. Find a good time to have this conversation before making a decision on how to proceed. 

  140. Hello, please would like to…
    Hello, please would like to know what’s I can do to ease the pain & emotional trauma am going through, Am married with two kids, my hubby is cheating on me and don’t feel remorseful about it nor want to talk about it, his being posted to the east, he will be back home soon, feel emotionally detached from him, but I love him dearly & don’t want divorce because of my kids. What’s do I do?

    1. Dear Olajumoke, we are so…

      Dear Olajumoke, we are so sorry about this. You have two options, to either accept this and continue with the relationship as is or break up and walk away. This is because your partner is not remorseful and refuses to talk about what’s going on so that together you can find a solution. It is important you take sometime and think about what you want moving forward. While breaking up will affect the children, you can both agree on how to participate in raising your children with minimal negative effects on them. Spend sometime thinking, look at all your options, you can even consider speaking to someone close that you trust to help you make an informed choice. We do wish you all the best. have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/tips-to-recover-from-cheating-in-marriage

  141. My girlfriend is cheating on…
    My girlfriend is cheating on me with an older man when I asked she said she can’t leave because he supports her and I cant support her the way he does. She said she still loves me I am confused?

    1. Hello Genesis, it appears…

      Hello Genesis, it appears you have two options to accept the current situation where your girlfriend is with you plus the older man or to break up with her since she has made it clear that she can’t leave the other relationship. This is a choice you have to make, think about what you want now and in the future and then make a decision based on what you want. Have a look at the following article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  142. My girlfriend usually gets…
    My girlfriend usually gets calls from guys veery late in the night, sometimes late as midnight. I’ve always had an issue with this and we’ve fought severally because of this but it doesn’t seem to end. She claims that those are her friends and that there’s nothing going on. I however told her that we should come to an agreement that no one calls past a certain time but she says she can’t tell them when to call or when not to call. How do I deal with this

    1. Hey ark, it appears she is…

      Hey ark, it appears she is adamant and won’t change on this issue. You now have to make a decision as to whether you are going to accept this or whether this is unacceptable to you. If this is unacceptable to you, it maybe time to break up. Take sometime and think about whether you are willing to accept this or not, if not you need to communicate with your partner and let them know your decision. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  143. yes my partner doesn’t allow…
    yes my partner doesn’t allow me to hold his phone at any given time,there was a day i requested him that i want to use it call someone but he said i give him the contact then says i put it in a loud speaker coz he is the one holding the phone,then i decided to grab it,and after the call he wanted it immediately and i refused and stick to the phone…,wacha tu ile vita iliwaka kwa hiyo nyumba ilikuwa kali sana,we fought for the phone coz i wanted to check but he totally refused and became so furious and almost slapping.But in the process of pulling each other for the phone it switched off then he relaxed and refused to put the pin number and i tried unlocking it i found out the pin he used to have he had changed.kindly advise me…,what could be the problem please?

    1. Hi Mary, we are not able to…

      Hi Mary, we are not able to tell what the problem is but it appears that your partner was hiding something that he didn’t want you to see. What he was protecting could be anything, sometimes people will have such behaviour if they cheating. Did you ask why he would not allow you to handle his phone? Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  144. i suspect my wife.i suspect…
    i suspect my wife.i suspect she may sleep with coworker.how can i proof if she had sleep with some body else recently?

    1. Hello Romumer, thank you for…

      Hello Romumer, thank you for reaching out to us. There is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not.

  145. Any how a man will be he…
    Any how a man will be he will still chat is wife

  146. Hi Cynthia, your comment…

    Hi Cynthia, your comment/statement/question is a little unclear, do you mind explaining what you mean?

  147. my hubby doesn’t eat my food…
    my hubby doesn’t eat my food n he sleep in the coach he don’t even take to me its about one n half months what should I fo

  148. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

    Hello Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time. The behaviors you are explaining to us about your hubby are classic symptoms of depression and could mean that he is going through some form of stress. It is not that he does not love you, but maybe that he is going through something and does not know how to deal with it.
    Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
    This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

  149. I married at 22 while my…
    I married at 22 while my wife was 19. We are blessed with 3 kids I thank God.
    All along I’ve had indisputable trust in my wife on matters faithfulness.
    In 2014 a friend leaked to me that my wife had an affair with some guy who is unknown to me but I refused after being keen on her conduct for several months and I didn’t ask her.
    In 2016 another friend told me the same thing but this time with a different guy and still refused but this time I let her know that I had such rumours which she declined.
    In late 2019 we had some differences and she called me a barren and I didn’t take it lightly up to now even though the kids resembles me to some good extent.
    Now the main thing came in 2020 early when a friend leaked to me that she saw my wife at some estate and I didn’t agree still, then after some days I received a call from some woman who introduced herself to me as another man’s wife and she bitterly complained that my wife was cheating on me with his husband and that they even do it in her matrimonial bed. Now this is the estate my friend had told me about.
    I and the woman engaged both my wife and his husband and they agreed that they know each other but they’ve never been in a romantic relation ship.My wife had denied incidences of the guy dropping her at our residence and at times her dropping him at his residence but the guy confirmed this to be true.
    Now I and the woman are contemplating a severe revenge, we even want to go a step further and have a kid behind their backs for us to feel better and satisfied over what they did behind our backs. I therefore seek your advice on whether to actualize this revenge or give it a second thought. I’ve lost trust in my wife and given chance i would remarry coz i don’t love her any more. Am only bound by the kids bond whose age range from 2yrs to 11yrs.

  150. Hello Jay, thank you for…

    Hello Jay, thank you for getting in touch with us and sharing your story. We are sorry you are going through a hard time but we are here for you. Discovering that your life partner has committed infidelity can be quite painful and incredibly difficult to deal with as I am sure you know. 

    If your partner has cheated on you, it’s normal that you suffer from trust issues. But there are ways to recover and have a healthy relationship yet again. Here’s how…

    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

    If on the other hand, as you said, if you are not in love with her and would like to hear about a similar situation and what we thought, click here to find out more:

    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating-while-married

  151. Please, I cheated on my bf …
    Please, I cheated on my bf (of one year plus) with a guy that wants to date me even though he knows I have a bf. Now my bf confronted me about it on phone. I didn’t say anything in defense. My bf then switched off his phone for about four days. I love him so much. I regretted cheating on him. I’m worried about him. What can I do?

  152. Hi Gift, thank you for…

    Hi Gift, thank you for reaching out to us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. All good relationships are based on trust which takes a long time to cultivate. If that trust is broken through something such as cheating, it can take a long time to rebuild any form of trust with your partner. It would take a great deal of patience, respect, commitment and understanding from you and even then, the reality is that she might still not forgive you. If on the bright side she does, then you need to maintain and uphold the boundaries that you have both set for each other.

  153. My husband cheat on me I…
    My husband cheat on me I found text messages and pic of different women in his phone some pic are nude pic and it not the first time I caught him when i confront him he will apologise but just continue cheating we have been married for seven years what should i do

    1. Hi Fatuma, 

      They say the…

      Hi Fatuma, 

      They say the best apology is changed behavior, your husband’s apologies don’t mean anything since he continues to do the same thing. At this point, it is a decision he is making, nothing is a mistake. The best thing for you to do is to give him an ultimatum if he chooses to continue cheating, it is up to you to decide whether this is a situation you can live with. In the end, it is up to you to decide how much you can take and what you can live with. Sending you best wishes in whatever you decide!

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