couple getting caught cheating
© Love Matters / Jeppe Schilder

Cheating

Cheating means breaking the rules you have agreed on in a committed relationship. Usually cheating refers to sexual infidelity or adultery.

If you're making out or having sex with someone outside of your committed relationship, it means you’re cheating on your partner.

Cheating doesn’t always have to be sexual. Sometimes cheating is on an emotional level. When someone shares intimate thoughts with a person who’s not their partner, it’s called emotional cheating.

Cheating of any form can cause a lot of sorrow in relationships and can even lead to break-up or divorce.

Find out more about cheating in our Cheating: top five facts.

Why do people cheat?

There are many reasons why people cheat on their partners. You might cheat if you don’t love your partner any more, if sex isn’t satisfying, if your partner has cheated on you in the past, or if you feel neglected or under-appreciated.

Lying to your partner about your affairs can be a stop-gap arrangement, but it’s very likely that sooner or later your partner will discover the truth. If you feel guilty about having cheated and don't want to end your relationship, confession might be an option. You could also keep quiet about what happened, although the lack of honesty could put a strain on your relationship.

If you've cheated and decide you want to end it with your partner, there are two options – to confess your behaviour and say goodbye, or to hide your infidelity and say you want to break up for other reasons.

Is your partner cheating on you?

If you know your partner well and have had a close, long-term relationship, you can often tell when something’s not right. You might notice that they’ve begun spending a lot more time at work, they have less time for you and your family, start taking calls in private, and seem less committed to doing things with you. Maybe they're paying attention to their looks, and they appear confused and detached. When you ask them if anything's wrong, they shrug off your question.

Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damage the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation, or divorce. You might spend days, weeks, or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.

But don't blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.

Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.

Comments
hi, i got this lady whom ive 3 children with, i love her really much though she takes ma love 4 granted....dat she can even make appointments with guys in ma presence on phone asking her who the person was she tells u collegemate...she times me once am away at work...goes out there n comes back be4 me....looking thru her phone ...its just terrible...wondering what i should do...i think of breaking up but then how about the kids...making matters worse....sex is terrible...she totally doesnt want it with me at all..im only 29yrs and she is always talking of seperating beds ...some advise pls
Hi Tony, Have you talked to her about these concerns? If you feel she is cheating on you the best way to to raise this with her to get to know what could be going on. What seems to have happened in your relationship is a breakdown in communication which has led to you both growing apart as partly reflected in your sex life. While you are thinking about the children, it is important that you both talk about the state of your relationship and agree on how to proceed. Check out the following articles for more information. https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up
you better move out reason u married her while she is having kids and yet she is dating others.don't fight, move out and other things.she has known how weak you are as well she has no love with you.you are like a photo in the house.
jimmy
Mon, 06/05/2017 - 09:09

In reply to by tony

Am sorry to say dis but yo stupid wat a u still doing with her just separate take yo children to yo mother she will take care of her grandchildren instead of getting aids
Hi Tony, If you feel your partner could be cheating on you, the best thing to do is talk with her about your suspicion. Let her know what you have observed. Give her a chance to tell you what could be going on. After which you can make a decision on how to proceed with this relationship. Check out the following article for more information:- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
Wakihiu
Wed, 08/30/2017 - 09:30

In reply to by tony

Its evident your partner has fallen out of live with you n is trying her best to have you break up with her.Sometimes,staying in a loveless relationship for the"sake of the kids"does more harm to them than you can imagine. Take a break from her,maybe move out n give yourselves space,let her re evaluate your value in her life.Sometimes too much love only destroys. Learn to love yourself as much as you love her. Again if there's no sex at all,she is getting it elsewhere.Save yourself some depression n probably a disease.
I think you should ask her what she wants and confront her about the other relationships. You should ask her about yo way forward and about the kids. Discuss it coz there is nothing worse than forcing yourself to spend eternity with someone who does not love you the way you love them.
AMOS SILA
Fri, 04/27/2018 - 15:43

In reply to by tony

If that's the case, don't wait any more.You are harming yourself. just separate, and if possible in a court of law. If the kids are yours, just stay and care for them. she has already confirmed one of the causes of devorce i.e,(adultery).
What of a lady who jus enjoy cheating and do sleep with different men,is that relationship worth being into?Though she also enjoy sex with the boyfriend but stil has urge for other men.
Hi Roba,  there is no way to know for sure if someone is cheating on you. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with your partner. Be honest with them about your suspicions and your feelings along with your fears. I know this can be scary to bring it up but try to just tell them why you suspect something is wrong and not just accuse them a cheater. Generally if we hold on to our thoughts you might take things the wrong way believe something without knowing if it is real or not.
After breaking up from what? it depends on the nature and of what you broke up from and reasons why, there are situations which you might appreciate its better you broke up and there are others you might regret why you did so, for example if you broke up from an abusive violent relationship what's there to regret about? it will be good riddance! but in the situation where you are the cause of the breakup then you might regret and its normal to want time alone after breakup in order to forge a move on!
Hi love matters my boyfriend of 4 years cheated on me n got another lady pregnant just after I had given birth to our dota now he's back in my life claiming he loves only me but the other chick calls him constantly n av started having doubts he tells me he has nothing to do with her but I feel there's something what do I do?
Hi Nina, take some time away from him and think about what you want. Do you think you will be able to trust him again? Do you think he will do it again? How is he going to deal with the other woman, and his other child? Think about all these things, and make your decision based on that. Good luck!
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