Good fights versus bad fights
Almost every couple fights sometimes. While rows are normal in a relationship, it’s a good idea to think about what might be causing them.
Arguments are a symptom of brewing discontent. If resolved at the right time, they can bring you closer together, but brushing them under the carpet could be harmful to your relationship.
We all have our own reasons for arguing. Sometimes we want more of a say in how the relationship works. Sometimes we want to prove we’re right, or to show that the other person’s wrong. Whatever your reasons, be aware of why you’re picking a fight.
You could apply some rules to your arguments. Fights can get ugly if you raise your voices, swear at each other, or get physical. To avoid these situations, always treat the other person the way you would like to be treated yourself.
If you and your partner are fighting over the same issue again and again, it’s a sign of a long-standing and unresolved dispute. There are different ways of approaching such a stalemate. You can step back and look at the fights from a distance – go beyond the petty issues and find out what’s actually causing the discontent. Most agreements can be negotiated, but not everything. If you feel outside help would benefit your relationship, maybe you could go to a counsellor specialised in relationship conflicts.
Find out more in our Fighting: Do’s and Don’ts.