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Signs you’re in an abusive relationship

While it my seem impossible, it can be, at times, hard to recognize abuse in a relationship. Abuse comes in many forms – physical, emotional, or sexual. We are quick to recognize physical abuse but the other two can easily be overlooked.

Here are signs that abuse is happening in your relationship:

  • You are constantly scared of angering your partner.
  • Your partner demands that you have sex in ways that you aren’t comfortable with.
  • Your partner is overly possessive or jealous.
  • Your partner doesn’t like you spending time with your friends or family.
  • Your partner demands to know what you’re doing at all times when you are not around them.
  • Your partner demands to know passwords to your email, phone etc.
  • Your partner humiliates or mistreats you in public.
  • Your partner blames you for all the problems or fights in the relationship.
  • You feel like your partner twists and turns the truth to manipulate the situation.
  • You find it very difficult to leave the relationship.
  • You hear yourself saying, ‘(s)he hurts me a lot, but I love him/her’ or ‘(s)he abuses me, but I can’t live without him/her’.
  • Your partner makes you feel bad about your sense of dress, your body, or your size.
  • Your partner calls you names – it even if they seem mild, like ‘stupid’, ‘idiot’ or ‘bimbo’.
  • Your partner controls all your financial decisions, and doesn’t think you’re capable of handling money or finances.
  • Your partner scolds or humiliates you in front of your children.
  • Your partner holds you responsible for anything the kids are doing wrong.

These are some of the classic warning signs that you’re in an abusive relationship. If you recognize yourself in any of them, raise it with your partner.

And talk to your partner about it if you think that any of these things are starting to emerge in your relationship. The sooner you bring it up, the better. By talking, you might be able to work things out and save the relationship before it’s too late.

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LoveMatters Africa

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