Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Cheating while married

By Valentine Njoroge February 22, 06:00 am
I'm in love with someone’s husband. We are getting closer and closer. We both have families but we can’t live without each other. We've never had sex.

You don't want advice

Hmm… what should you do I wonder? It strikes me as hilarious that you have already started your love affair and then now is when you are asking for advice. I do not think you want advice. In fact, I think you want me to co-sign your affair. You want someone to tell you that what you are doing is okay, despite the fact that you are going to hurt other people. Look elsewhere honey, I am not the one.

You are hurting others

Continuing along this path will hurt every single member of your families – your children and his; and each of your spouses. When they find out (and they always do), your actions will have far-reaching consequences. Unfaithful spouses have been dumped by their partners, cut off financially etc...

Affairs are exciting. The idea that your new partner is forbidden… that you are doing something illicit… then add the fact that you believe you are in love? Whew! It’s the stuff romance novels are made of. Even I can feel the tingles running up and down your spine. Of course, you think you ‘can’t live without kissing and caressing’ this man even though you made it well into adulthood and managed to create an entire life and a family.

Look at the risks

Anyway, before you go any further, I suggest you evaluate if the risks you are taking are actually worth it.

If you are discussing leaving your families, consider what you might tell your husband while your lover chickens out.

Or consider that you are both running away from resolving the issues in your individual marriages, and you will probably bring that same ‘quitter attitude’ to whatever relationship you create.

Are you sure that your marriage is worth throwing away? Are you ready to leave it, devastate your children and start fresh with this man? Will your affair survive the carnage? These are all hard questions that you need to reflect on.

I wish you both the best of luck.

Have you ever felt the attraction to another person while married or dating? What can one do to stay faithful to their partner? Talk to us on our discussion board or drop us a note below.

Did you learn something new?

i love my husband but he is cheating on me,once i know the woman he is dating ge dumps her to look for another one,i feel like cheating on him because am tired of his behaviour
Hi Mishy, Sorry that you are going through this. Two wrongs don't make a right! Cheating on him won't make your relationship better but worse. You really need to take time and think if that is the kind of relationship you want to be in. The fact that you have caught him severally and nothing much has changed goes to show you tolerate the behavior and that only encourages him to continue hurting you. You need to decide what's best for you and your well being. Loving someone is not enough to keep a relationship healthy. Read more here .
Mishy,mine is evn worse, it's lk a circle. I can't rem any single yr I haven't handled a case of infidelity in my 10yrs of marriage! He already has 2 kids with 2 diff wmen,the latest is barely a yr! I hv reached to a point of nt caring a thing abt wat he does with his life coz I knw the cycle still continues. Fr those saying it's the wman's fault,I dnt think so. Bt trust me, u can b tempted to cheat too.
Add new comment


  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>