Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Cheating while married

I’m in love with someone’s husband. We are getting closer and closer. We both have families but we can’t live without each other. We’ve never had sex.

You don’t want advice

Hmm… what should you do I wonder? It strikes me as hilarious that you have already started your love affair and then now is when you are asking for advice. I do not think you want advice. In fact, I think you want me to co-sign your affair. You want someone to tell you that what you are doing is okay, despite the fact that you are going to hurt other people. Look elsewhere honey, I am not the one.

You are hurting others

Continuing along this path will hurt every single member of your families – your children and his; and each of your spouses. When they find out (and they always do), your actions will have far-reaching consequences. Unfaithful spouses have been dumped by their partners, cut off financially etc…

Affairs are exciting. The idea that your new partner is forbidden… that you are doing something illicit… then add the fact that you believe you are in love? Whew! It’s the stuff romance novels are made of. Even I can feel the tingles running up and down your spine. Of course, you think you ‘can’t live without kissing and caressing’ this man even though you made it well into adulthood and managed to create an entire life and a family.

Look at the risks

Anyway, before you go any further, I suggest you evaluate if the risks you are taking are actually worth it.

If you are discussing leaving your families, consider what you might tell your husband while your lover chickens out.

Or consider that you are both running away from resolving the issues in your individual marriages, and you will probably bring that same ‘quitter attitude’ to whatever relationship you create.

Are you sure that your marriage is worth throwing away? Are you ready to leave it, devastate your children and start fresh with this man? Will your affair survive the carnage? These are all hard questions that you need to reflect on.

I wish you both the best of luck.
 

Have you ever felt the attraction to another person while married or dating? What can one do to stay faithful to their partner? Talk to us on our discussion board or drop us a note below.

did you find this useful?

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (35)

  1. i love my husband but he is
    i love my husband but he is cheating on me,once i know the woman he is dating ge dumps her to look for another one,i feel like cheating on him because am tired of his behaviour

    1. Hi Mishy,

      Hi Mishy,
      Sorry that you are going through this. Two wrongs don’t make a right! Cheating on him won’t make your relationship better but worse.

      You really need to take time and think if that is the kind of relationship you want to be in.

      The fact that you have caught him severally and nothing much has changed goes to show you tolerate the behavior and that only encourages him to continue hurting you.

      You need to decide what’s best for you and your well being. Loving someone is not enough to keep a relationship healthy.

      Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/goodbye-and-good-riddance .

    2. Mishy….. Why do you think
      Mishy….. Why do you think he cheats? Men don’t just cheat

      1. As you said, …
        As you said,
        Men don’t just cheat,
        You must be doing something that he doesn’t like, and before he cheats he must have warned you but you continued

        1. Well, this may not be the…
          Well, this may not be the case all the time though.

      2. Maybe something behind she…
        Maybe something behind she is demanding

        1. Thank you for your…
          Thank you for your contribution.

    3. Don’t Even try to cheat.just…
      Don’t Even try to cheat.just respect your body.remember it is the temple of God.two wrongs always never make a right

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution Wesley.

    4. Mishy,mine is evn worse, it…
      Mishy,mine is evn worse, it’s lk a circle. I can’t rem any single yr I haven’t handled a case of infidelity in my 10yrs of marriage! He already has 2 kids with 2 diff wmen,the latest is barely a yr! I hv reached to a point of nt caring a thing abt wat he does with his life coz I knw the cycle still continues. Fr those saying it’s the wman’s fault,I dnt think so. Bt trust me, u can b tempted to cheat too.

      1. So sorry about this Nancy…
        So sorry about this Nancy. Cheating does hurt a relationship, but is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Is this the relationship you want to continue having?

  2. Don’t cheat dear just don’t
    Don’t cheat dear just don’t think about it talk to him he will cool it down and search for what makes him cheat

    1. Thanks for your input Sifa.
      Thanks for your input Sifa.

  3. cheating doesnot solve
    cheating doesnot solve anything you need to seat down and talk abt it

    1. Thanks Sandra for your input.
      Thanks Sandra for your input.

  4. Thanks,dats so educative and
    Thanks,dats so educative and inspirational

    1. You are most welcome Alice.
      You are most welcome Alice.

  5. big up ladies ! hakuna jogoo
    big up ladies ! hakuna jogoo wa mwera moja!

    1. Hi there, thanks for that.
      Hi there, thanks for that.

  6. Am in a relationship with a
    Am in a relationship with a girl i.e my girlfriend and we are planning to get married after she has done with her school,the girl herself is really interested but her parents don’t like me,what should I do?

    1. Hi Protus, parents approval
      Hi Protus, parents approval is important in most cases but love is between two people, Whatever you and your partner decide is what you should go for.

  7. Mishy if the have parents
    Mishy if the have parents,then I think you should go and discuss the matter with his parents before taking any step forward my dear

    1. Thanks for your input Evlyn.
      Thanks for your input Evlyn.

  8. SME men a fond ov cheating,
    SME men a fond ov cheating, but in most cases women are mistreating their husbands.pze watch out ur funny characters!

    1. Thanks for your input Tina.
      Thanks for your input Tina.

  9. Don’t know where this
    Don’t know where this relationships will end…easy go ladies… Tamaa…ul die n leave me here

    1. Thanks for your input Alex.
      Thanks for your input Alex.

  10. I will advice you to watch a
    I will advice you to watch a series called “If loving you is wrong” & you will see the results of cheating.

    1. Thanks for your input Pharis.
      Thanks for your input Pharis.

  11. Don’t cheat sandra even…
    Don’t cheat sandra even though it’s painful just keep your self busy n look what make ur man is lucking to behave theway he behave.

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution Munira.

  12. Maybe something behind she…
    Maybe something behind she is demanding!!!!!

    1. We appreciate you…
      We appreciate you contribution.

LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships