Is masturbation cheating?
Is it true that masturbation is cheating on your partner? An advocate for masturbating, Valentine believes it’s only cheating when it feels like cheating.
Feeling guilty?
Have you heard the joke that masturbation is sex with someone you love? Jokes aside though, you didn’t say too much but I am guessing that you feel some kind of guilt regarding masturbation. We hear all manner of things about it, especially if you grow up in Church or go to boarding school. We are told that it causes blindness, that it is a dirty thing to do, that it is sinful, and a bunch of other things.
Touch the clitoris!
I, however, disagree. I do not think that there is anything wrong with masturbation. In fact, I advocate it. The female orgasm is very different from male orgasm if only because our parts are harder to see. The clitoris has a solo function and that is for pleasure. The part of it that we can see is not only small, but it is also covered by a hood. While women have many erogenous zones, the clitoris is by far the most sensitive and if we want regular orgasms, it stands to reason that we should find it and then touch it to figure out what kind of touch it responds to. Some couples find mutual masturbation informative and highly pleasurable.
Is it cheating?
Sexual infidelity means participating in sexual encounters with a person or people who are not your partner and without your partner’s knowledge. Some people do not mind if their partners kiss their close friends on the lips, others take great offence.
I would not think that masturbating is cheating per se, but the answer would best be determined by the rules you and your partner have set for your relationship.
Perhaps you and your partner think that you should share all orgasms and any had without the other is a breach of your agreement? Perhaps your partner watches porn to masturbate and that is the real offence? You would have to talk about this with your partner to come to a conclusion as there are no universal rules. If you feel cheated on, then say that.
Is masturbation considered cheating in your relationship? Please share your experience! Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Kenya and Naija on Facebook.
Tell us what you think
Recent Comments (68)
No It Isn’t
No It Isn’t
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment.
i think its not
i think its not
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment.
Been in it 4 a very very long
Been in it 4 a very very long time. Could it be the reason my penis is painful esp’ btn the head and the csrotam ?
No, masturbation should not
No, masturbation should not cause that. Please see a doctor who can assess the situation.
it is not true because every
it is not true because every one does it.
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment.
nope
nope
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment.
Nice argument
Nice argument
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment.
no it is not cheating it is
no it is not cheating it is diffrent from cheating my brother usualy masterbath
Thank you for your comment.
Thank you for your comment.
It’s not, infact it’s makes
It’s not, infact it’s makes one healthy
We agree!
We agree!
I think so.. I agree with u
I think so.. I agree with u
We are glad to hear that!
We are glad to hear that!
does it include rubbing ua
does it include rubbing ua penis with soap o jelly to pass out the sperms.if yes,then its cheatin.
Amos,
Amos,
yes, that would be masturbation.
Why do you think it’s cheating?
Yea. it happens.
Yea. it happens.
Thanks, Kenya.
Thanks, Kenya.
yes indeed its because why
yes indeed its because why don’t you have with your partner when marstabatting
Kimrash,
Kimrash,
how about mutual masturbation, would that be okay?
I think not, but what about
I think not, but what about the effect of musterbating?
Noah,
Noah,
masturbation doesn’t have any negative effects. All of the things you hear are myths.
anythingh unnatural has
anythingh unnatural has negative effect
Mugo,
Mugo,
why do you think masturbation is unnatural?
tz nt coz i dd it 4 long but
tz nt coz i dd it 4 long but stil loved mine xo much…bt wht is d best to away wid it coz i fear if it cn lead to xome future complicatns?
Jack,
Jack,
masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life, so keep on doing it if you feel like it.
I find it disgusting. Cool be
I find it disgusting. Cool be cheating
Thanks for your input.
Thanks for your input.
no it isnt cheating
no it isnt cheating
Thanks for your input, Tarono
Thanks for your input, Tarono.
The quantity of sperm u
The quantity of sperm u release while masturbating is small than to compare the quantity u release while having sex. Observe it
That’s a myth, BJ.
That’s a myth, BJ.
How is masturbation done;ie
How is masturbation done;ie the process?
Hi Muiruri, check out this
Hi Muiruri, check out this article https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/masturbation .
I hav done it but stil loves
I hav done it but stil loves my gal,infact its the best way to remain faithful when ur partner is away.It’s neva cheating.
Thanks for your input Ellanoh
Thanks for your input Ellanoh.
By the way i do hear that
By the way i do hear that masturbation causes man to be ‘a one minute man’ during sex is t true
Hi Nobby, that is not true,
Hi Nobby, that is not true, it is just a myth. Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/masturbation-myths-busted .
Does it make a penis shrink
Does it make a penis shrink as said?
Hi Na, no it does not. That
Hi Na, no it does not. That is just a myth. Check out more information here https://lovematters.co.ke/news/masturbation-myths-busted .
Masturbating is not Good on
Masturbating is not Good on its own part but i don’t think its cheating. U need not masturbate, dats y dere r opposite sexes
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
I cant stay without a good
I cant stay without a good wank for too long. Soon as my girl is away or in her periods or is not in the mood for whatever reason, you can rest assured i will be sneaking in some strokes as i wait for the pussy drought to run out. Makes me put zero pressure on my girl for sex and reduces the need for me to want to go out and get it elsewhere
Great to hear that. Thanks
Great to hear that. Thanks for sharing that with us.
Masturbation cant be cheating
Masturbation cant be cheating because it is an aspect of sexuality and sexuality is more than just penetration. A mere or major erection which can be either natural or stimulated is an aspect of sexuality.
To expect that your sexual partner must only function sexually on your terms is selfish and unrealistic. masturbation should be permissible in all relationships because people start becoming sexual way before they get sexual partners. For those who don’t approve, they have to live with their partners hiding it from them because being or feeling sexual is a force and entitlement too powerful to be entirely entrusted on to one individual
Thanks for your input and for
Thanks for your input and for sharing your thoughts with us.
I think is not true and whow…
I think is not true and whow can it be avoided
Thank you Bahati for your…
Thank you Bahati for your input. Masturbation is one of the safest, easiest forms of sex. It’s about getting to know your body and your likes and dislikes. This way, you can also teach your partner what you enjoy when you have sex. And no matter what you may have heard, there’s nothing shameful or unhealthy about it! masturbation is actually good for you! It’s good for your physical and sexual health. It’s a safe way to satisfy your sexual needs, even if you don’t have a partner. Check out this article for more information on myths about masturbation: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted
I need a girlfriend
I need a girlfriend
Hello Dennis, Sorry to say,…
Hello Dennis, Sorry to say, we are not a dating service and cannot assist you in finding a partner. Best thing to do is take some time with yourself, find hobbies, practice things that you love an try to learn how to be happy with yourself. Happiness and confidence is attractive in a person and when you find yourself in a good place people will find you. As always, feel free to ask us any questions about love, sex or relationships if they come up. Best of luck.
Masterbation is not a good…
Masterbation is not a good idea
Thank you Mash for your…
Thank you Mash for your input. However, masturbation is one of the safest, easiest forms of sex. It’s about getting to know your body and your likes and dislikes. And no matter what you may have heard, there’s nothing shameful or unhealthy about it! Check out this article https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-1
Can masturbation affect me…
Can masturbation affect me when i marry?
Hello there, masturbation is…
Hello there, masturbation is one of the safest, easiest forms of sex. It’s about getting to know your body and your likes and dislikes. This way, you can also teach your partner what you enjoy when you have sex. And no matter what you may have heard, there’s nothing shameful or unhealthy about it! Check out this article for more information: https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-top-five-facts-part-1
I found my partner…
I found my partner masturbating I am very concerned is he not satisfied with me? What can make a married man choose to masturbate?
Hey RH, people masturbate…
Hey RH, people masturbate for various reasons. Masturbation can be great for stress relief, and it has even been shown to increase ones levels of happiness. It also does provide sexual satisfaction. Through masturbation, one also get to know their own body, including what they like and dislike. Your husband could have been masturbating for any reason, it maybe awkward to talk about this, but you need to talk about with your partner to put the matter to rest. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-your-burning-questions-answered
It might not be cheating but…
It might not be cheating but what do I know? It’s never been easy to get or attract girls when you’re a short dude. I’m losing interest in relationships since my poor attempts to know my crushes better failed.
Hey Pajohn, there is little…
Hey Pajohn, there is little you can do about your height but even with that height you can still meet someone who will love you for who you are. All relationships do not last a life time, some even don’t get to start, but just because one relationship didn’t work it doesn’t mean that you next one won’t or that there isn’t someone who will appreciate you. All you have to do is to keep trying and hopefully soon you will meet someone that you will have a fulfilling relationship with. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
I just got divorced, or…
I just got divorced, or rather the whe are getting a divorce. And my wife made it absolutly clear to me that mastrubation, while we are not having sex, IS cheating. If I ever did it and she would find out she would leave me. So during our life together, 3 years, I never did it out off fear of loosing her, in the end, we dindt make it after all, but her words still haunt me.
Hey John, we are so sorry…
Hey John, we are so sorry you are going through a hard time buddy. All is not lost though. It seems like when you and your wife got married, she had made it categorically clear that masturbation was a taboo and that she considered it cheating and it seems like the reason you are now getting into a divorce is that you broke her trust by masturbating. My question is, when you initially had this conversation, had you told her that you masturbate or were you too afraid to? One thing you need to understand is that communication is an important part of any relationship. If she is willing to listen, have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive. Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships
Furthermore, go through this article with her and set realistic ground rules that do not result in a divorce and let her know that masturbation is completely natural, safe and that she can do it too. Good luck buddy and have a wonderful week ahead!
I did not break her trust, I…
I did not break her trust, I whas too afraid to loose her. Whe mastrubated during sex, to arrouse each other, our sex was good. Why she made it a point not doing it alone I never knew. Same with porn, so I NEVER lookt it up, she said, porn is bad and cheating, looking at another woman is cheating, I remember a soap whe where watching and a woman in it whore a beautiful dress (nothing sexy, just beautifull) and she whas angry for me saying that she looked beautifull in that dress. I loved her and dindt want to loose her, doing those things would come out eventualy, so NO our divorce dindt have anything to do with cheating, whe had other issues together.
Hi John, thank you so much…
Hi John, thank you so much for getting in touch with us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. When it comes to masturbation and pornography in a relationship, it is usually wise to bring these things up at the very beginning of the relationship so that you both know where you lie with regards to each and can therefore lay boundaries, approve and disapprove of things as you move forward in the relationship. We are truly sorry that you had to go through these issues that led to your divorce and would like to know how you are doing since. Was it only the pornography and masturbation that led to the break up or were there other underlying trust issues between the two of you? Let us know and know that we are here for you 🙂 Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!
In my view if it’s done…
In my view if it’s done outside protection of an existing marriage then it’s cheating. I say this for those who have distant marriages. Besides self pleasuring what else can they do? God created us as humans who need pleasure and when nature calls I see it as one way to solve it.
Thank you so much for…
Thank you so much for sharing Kenox. Feel free to go through more of our content, we would love to know what you think about our other content and also to help you make more informed decisions. Also do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful weekend and stay safe!