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© Love Matters | Rita Lino

11 tips for talking to your partner

We’re not born with the talking and listening skills we need to be good at communication, but everyone can learn to become better a communicator.

We can all develop skills to help us understand our loved ones properly and make sure they understand what we really mean. Still, communication is bound to go wrong sometimes, but we can get better at it with practice.

  1. Talking – listening = zero

    Communication is a two-way street: listening is just as important as talking. And when you listen, you should really listen so you can really understand what the other person is saying. So, don’t interrupt. Look them in the eyes. And don’t just think about what you want to say next.

  2. Using ‘I’ statements

    If you have a disagreement with your partner, it’s best to express your own opinions and feelings. If you say how you feel about something, or how something the other person did affect you, it’s harder for them to brush it aside. After all, no one can argue about how you’re feeling, because only you know that.

    For example, say:

    ‘I felt really hurt when you went to the cinema without asking me to join you.’

    ‘It made me sad when I saw you with your arm around that girl/guy at that party.’

    There’s no arguing with this. Your partner can’t say, ‘no, you didn’t feel hurt.’

    Compare this to saying ‘it was really thoughtless of you to go to the cinema without asking me.’ Then your partner can just say something like ‘no, it wasn’t, I thought you wouldn’t feel like it.’

    Don’t bring in what other people think about the situation, or claim you know what your partner is thinking. Like, ‘You know you just put your arm around that girl at the party to make me jealous. And my sister says so too!’ That’s just going to be annoying, and it won’t help your partner to think about your feelings.

  3. Keep your cool

    Emotions are healthy and normal. But when you’re feeling emotional, it can be hard to express yourself clearly and listen properly. If you’re feeling furious, for example, it’s probably best to save the conversation for later. Otherwise, you might end up saying something you’ll regret. It can even be a good idea to put an order to your thoughts by writing them down before you bring them up with your partner.

  4. Start with a positive, and then come with the critique

    If you’ve decided to tell your partner that you’re unhappy or uncomfortable with something, try to do it in a way that doesn’t upset them. One way is to build on a positive. For example:

    ‘I love when you pull me close to you, but in the future, can you be a little less rough?’

    ‘Sex with you is wonderful. But could we try … next time?’

  5. When your partner says or does something you don’t like

    We all upset our partner without realising sometimes. So it’s good to let your partner know when you’ve felt upset. Your partner may not realise they’ve done or said something that you don’t like. So don’t start with accusations, yelling, or cursing. Especially if there are other people around. This will make your partner embarrassed and angry.
    You’re going wrong if you find yourself immediately shouting things like:

    ‘You bastard! I can’t believe you did that.’

    ‘How dare you behave like that!’

    Instead, a few minutes after the incident, when you’re alone with your partner, take a few deep breaths, and say something like:

    ‘I’m not sure you realised this, but I didn’t like …. (then you say the action/ thing they said) because…’

    ‘I just want to you know that I didn’t appreciate what just happened because…’

    You can also point out what they said or did and ask why they did it. For example:

    ‘Why did you shout at me like that?’

    ‘Why did you push me out of the way?’

    They may ask you what the problem is, so it’s good to be as specific as possible and say how it made you feel.

    ‘When you belittled me in front of your friends, it really upset me.’

    ‘When you didn’t call me this week, it made me sad, because I missed you.’

    After your partner has listened to what you’ve said, they may agree or disagree. Don’t get into a debate about whether the action or statement was intended or not, as this will lead to an argument. Instead explain calmly how that action made you feel (sad, angry, hurt, etc.) and how you would like to do it differently in the future.

    ‘I hate it when you shout at me as it makes me sad for the whole day.’

    ‘Don’t push me as it isn’t respectful and it hurts.’

    You are trying to create a relationship where neither of you hurt each other. Try to build a solution together. Don’t tell them how to behave, but instead try to talk about what you can both do to avoid this situation in the future. Say what you would like to happen and don’t focus on what you don’t want. For example, discuss what words/names you find offensive, or how often you can reasonably expect to see or call each other.

    If one of you gets angry, then perhaps it’s time to come back to the discussion later.

    Physical violence is never acceptable, and if this does happen, talking may not be enough to solve your issues.

    Remember, the same goes for when you’ve done something to upset your partner. It can be difficult to admit you were wrong. We can all lose our patience or make mistakes without realising it. But what’s important is the actions you take afterwards. Think about how your actions may have affected your partner, listen to what they have to say and pay attention to their feelings. Then discuss how you can both make things better in future.

  6. Expressing emotion

    No matter who you are, it can be hard talking about your feelings. However, learning to open up with your partner can be both rewarding and therapeutic.

    Here are a few practical tips for discovering and sharing your emotions:

    • Identifying your feelings
      How do we know what we’re feeling and why? This is particularly challenging when we are experiencing new feelings and emotions. However, it is important to take a bit of time to with yourself to understand why you are getting so excited, happy, or upset.

      If your partner does something that upsets you, pause and think about what exactly happened that upset you and why it makes you feel angry/sad/hurt etc. The better you understand the situation and your feelings, the better you are able to communicate it to someone else.

      This is important because if you can’t express what made you upset and why, it’s impossible to try to learn from the situation or do things differently in the future.
       
    • Talking about your feelings with a partner
      Identifying your feelings can be challenging. But sharing these feelings can also feel uncomfortable – which is perfectly normal. But the more you practice sharing your feelings, the easier and more natural it will become. Start by sharing your feelings on a neutral topic, or mention how you feel about a friend or family member. And it’s okay to make it fun!

      ‘I really love my mum – and the way she expresses her love by feeding me great food!’

      This shows your partner that you’re open to sharing your feelings – and that you are also open to them sharing their own feelings.

  7. How to tell your partner when you are happy

    It’s often easy to express yourself when you are angry with your partner. But you shouldn’t forget to share when you’re pleased about something they’ve done.
    Everyone likes to hear positive things and compliments, so make sure you can express your appreciation for the little things on a day-to-day level.

    To make it easier, try to divide the explanation into three parts:

    1. State your emotion.
    2. What was the action that made you have the emotion?
    3. Why did this action make you happy?

    Examples:

    ‘It made me feel really special when you introduced me as your boyfriend to your parents. It means now we are serious.’

    ‘I’m really happy today because we were able to spend time together and I got to know more about you.’

  8. Telling your partner you are in love with them

    When we fall in love with someone, it can be tricky to express these emotions – in particular, when we’ve never felt this way before, or do not know how the partner will respond.

    If you’re developing strong emotions for your partner but are still unsure if you are totally in love, you can still let them know you are heading that way.

    ‘I just wanted you to know that I think you are great and that I am falling in love with you.’

    Or, if you’ve passed this stage and feel that you’ve definitely fallen in love, chose a time when it’s just the two of you. It’s best not to tell them straight after sex, as they might think you’re confusing sex with love. Instead, go for a walk or return to a favourite hang-out – without people or distractions.
    Then you try saying something like:

    ‘I am really enjoying being with you and you make me very happy. You’re such a great person and I‘m in love with you.’

    If you are on the receiving end, don’t feel obliged to say ‘I love you’ back – especially if you don’t feel ready. Be honest and say you really like what’s happening, but that you’re not quite at that point yet. Your partner may not like this, but it’s better than lying to them and yourself about how you feel.

  9. Listening to your partner’s feelings

    Sharing your feelings is just half the story. As part of a couple, you also have to listen to your partner about their feelings. And this may be particularly hard if you’ve never been in a relationship before.

    We often question whether our partner loves us or not. But if we don’t share our feeling we can’t expect them to do any different. So why not make the first move? Words can mean as much as actions, such as making love or giving gifts. Then give your partner space to speak. Listening to your partner is a time to be fully in the moment, so switch off that mobile phone, look them in the eyes and try to patiently understand what they’re telling you.

  10. How to respond to each other’s expression of feelings

    When your partner chooses to share their in-depth emotions with you, listen and repeat back your partner’s feelings in your own words – letting them know you understood what you just heard. If your partner states something has made them sad or angry, ask if they want advice on how to solve the problem. They may say no, and if so respect that and later find a calmer time to discuss the situation

    Also, don’t be in a hurry to shut your partner up when they are sharing their emotions or feelings. That may jeopardise the entire effort. Oftentimes, people get very uncomfortable with so many words and feeling emerging that they want to just end it all and hurry the process up. This can be quite insulting to your partner who too is mustering up a lot of effort to share their feelings with you. Make sure that when you decide to listen, you’ve given them your full attention for as long as they want to share.

  11. Expect to make mistakes

    Learn from your mistakes. These should be seen as opportunities to learn more about yourself and your partner. And as you learn more about each other’s feelings, you will develop a deeper, more intimate relationship.

    By learning the above steps, you’ll hopefully come to feel more emotionally connected with your partner. Besides providing healing and comfort, it can also have an amazing effect on your sexual intimacy.

Did you learn something new?

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Recent Comments (217)

  1. Hi guy I have dated for one
    Hi guy I have dated for one yr I guess is cheating on last I spotted him with a girl who I know upon asking he kept quiet and refused when I told him I had to end the relationship he cried said he has never seen any lady since he met .the other day I called him ad he did NT pick the call Bt later smsed me ad told m alikuwa kwa babake heti ataspend night huko unlike before he used to tell m one week earlier that he is going to c dad help m is he seeing another lady nikupatie shughuli

    1. We fail in relationship by…
      We fail in relationship by tolerating simple mistakes that we can do away with let your guy know that you don’t like being lied and be outspoken on this further more you don’t need to continue a relationship you’re not secure with

      1. Thank you Ekai, indeed…
        Thank you Ekai, indeed communication is key in relationships.

        1. Thanks ur advice has gone…
          Thanks ur advice has gone along way

          1. Hi there, 

            I am glad that…

            Hi there, 

            I am glad that our advice has helped you. Keep it here for more informative content!

    2. I need more information on…
      I need more information on how to keep relationship stronger

      1. Ur expressing really touch…
        Ur expressing really touch my heart I really have learnt something here.

        1. hello Peace, we are very…

          hello Peace, we are very glad to hear this. Thank you for your feedback.

    3. According Tu me I see that…
      According Tu me I see that your fionze is cheating on u but before u brake up with him tok to him about the matter first before you take any action

    4. Never warry! god love u
      Never warry! god love u

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution Ambrose.

        1. Pls give me instruction on…
          Pls give me instruction on how to follow the group link

          1. Hey Atoke, you can interact…

            Hey Atoke, you can interact with us on our Facebook page Love Matters Africa. Welcome. 

    5. Okay sometimes you have to…
      Okay sometimes you have to take a step forward and ask your self and reason why is he doing this to you then ukiona ni nini ucome up na solutions

      1. Hi Moses, thank you so much…

        Hi Moses, thank you so much for your input.

    6. very sorry my dear friend ok…
      very sorry my dear friend ok I guess you should ask him for another time and if u think he is still lying 2u then haina budi kubreak up with him

      1. Thank you for your…

        Thank you for your contribution Anonymous.

         

    7. Maybe he was saying the…
      Maybe he was saying the truth bcus he loves u

      1. Hello Precious, thank you…

        Hello Precious, thank you for your input.

  2. I got a beautiful lady who
    I got a beautiful lady who works far from me but i love her the more ad i don’t wana lose the firmer wife coz she’s keeping my kids ad I don’t wana then know each other as it may bring about confusion.what cab i do help me Hitwe

      1. Am looking for love a rich…
        Am looking for love a rich man and handsome

        1. Hey Nina, unfortunately, we…

          Hey Nina, unfortunately, we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. 

  3. Have got a wonderful lady,
    Have got a wonderful lady, please I want to know more about respect; on how to respect her more in our relationship. I will be glad if you guys can get back to me.

    1. Hi Sola,

      Hi Sola,

      Respect can be in form of many things like keep your word, being honest, being faithful or those plus more are ways of showing respect to your partner.

      You should always listen to what your partner is telling you and communicate effectively to them.

      1. Hello am 24 years married…
        Hello am 24 years married with one baby boy age 1 year..kitambo my wife alikuwa na heshima sana kwangu but familia yake yataka kumpeleka chuo kiluu..na mie sitaki ..kondly advisr me coz am so stress..naona akienda campus akuna marriege tena

        1. Hi Bonface, What makes you…
          Hi Bonface, What makes you feel if she goes to university your marriage will come to an end? Have you talked to her about your concerns, does your partner want to go?
          Have you considered having join a university that is near where you live so that she will come home every day? Talk about this with your partner and find a way forward together. One that will work for you both.

          1. Z there no university near by
            Z there no university near by

          2. Thank you for your…
            Thank you for your contribution Robert.

        2. Just give her to go juu…
          Just give her to go juu atarudi tu

          1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

            Hello Anonymous, thank you for your input.

  4. Hi am Lyn bt i have a guy we
    Hi am Lyn bt i have a guy we have dated 4 a yr n 6mnth nw bt he got mi wen i was 4mnth pregnt n afta delivery he tuk mi 2 b wit him wit my son really we were in dip lov n still we are in lov tho nt dat we were in b4 bt i feel i lov him a lot wit all ma hrt n al da tym we’ve bin 2getha i hav neva noticed anything called lyk cheating on mi bt i jst think dat he does cheat i just think so n weneva i think abt it i run crazy n hate him even wen he has dan nthng ,i just don’t knw y bt its mi who brings all da chaos in da house koz ov ma bad thinking al da tym dat he cheats on mi advise mi plz

    1. Hi Lynet,

      Hi Lynet,

      It sounds as though you have some insecurities that you have to deal with. If you get mad at him because of the thought he might be cheating then you are only putting your relationship in jeopardy.

      You need to work through your insecurities so that you are able to enjoy your relationship. Try and be positive and always have positive thoughts. Talking it out with someone you trust can also help reduce the anxiety and insecurity.

      All the best to the two of you.

  5. Hey I HV been to relationship
    Hey I HV been to relationship for an year ,I was heartbroken by my boyfriend ,by then I have Neva been committed to any relationship bcoz I fear it can happen again .there is this guy who HV fallen in love with me but as for mi I really block that love by chasing him away .I have tried to be committed and always my mind would trigger mi to the past I.e wat if this guy want to use mi ,pliz help wat can I do???

    1. My be z the 1 for u just try…
      My be z the 1 for u just try n see if it can wk

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution.

  6. I have a boyfriend have…
    I have a boyfriend have dated for 2years now BT its been a week he doesn’t talk to me either a call from him BT I don’t know what I did wrong

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Banks,

      Have you tried calling him?

      Remember communication is two way, while he may not call, it may be useful for you to initiate the conversation and find out what could be going on. If this happens often talk about your expectations as far as communication is concerned. Remember communication will help strengthen your relationship.

  7. Hey I got a girl I love her…
    Hey I got a girl I love her bt the problem I caught her cheating on me bt she asked for forgiveness and now I forgave her bt some times I get a feeling she is just pretending to love me how can I secure our relationship and we be good again becoz I don’t want to loss her she is the best I got so help me out

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Niro,

      It can be tough to rebuild a relationship and trust in the relationship after one partner cheats. But you have shown your willingness to work it out by forgiving her. The honors is to your partner to also show her commitment to your relationship. If you have concerns about her commitment just share with her your concerns so that you can both work on getting back to where you were and making your relationship even stronger. We wish you well.

      1. Thank you Robert for your…
        Thank you Robert for your contribution.

    2. Do’warry me friend galz r…
      Do’warry me friend galz r many en be aware of STDs

      1. Thank you for your input

        Thank you for your input

    1. (No subject)
      Congratulations Amisi. We wish you well.

  8. hi,since av never got into a…
    hi,since av never got into a seriuos rshp,bcoz i find myself rejecting almst all men who fall in lov with me,,,kindly help what can be the problemma?

    1. (No subject)
      Hello Dean,

      The problem is you are rejecting everyone who is interested in you… You may want to give someone a chance, begin by deciding which kind of a person you want to be with then get out there and hopefully you will meet them. Give them a chance, relationships are about trust. At times it may take time to build that trust, so allow for time. We wish you well. Check out the following article for more dating tips:-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/getting-to-know-each-other

    2. Just yo respecting yo…
      Just yo respecting yo marriage pliz

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution Sowedi.

    3. Hi guyz napenda dem bt huyo…
      Hi guyz napenda dem bt huyo dem ako kwa relationship na another guy ni fanye aje to win he lover please help

      1. Hello Isaac, thank you for…

        Hello Isaac, thank you for getting in touch with us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. Loving someone who is in relationship can be quite difficult, especially if that other person does not feel the same way about you. Does she feel the same way about you?

        If she doesn’t, then it is important to remember that no matter how much you may love someone, if they do not feel the same way about you, then you cannot force them to love you back. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection towards another person.  Love is warm, it is kind and patient. Love is forgiving. Love is a feeling of a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. If she does not feel this way, then buddy the best thing to do is move on, which is completely okay!

        Being single is okay. It gives you time to work on yourself, find hobbies, practice things that you love and try to learn how to be happy with yourself. Happiness and confidence is attractive in a person and when you find yourself in a good place people will find you.

        We hope this information helps, let us know what you think! Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!

  9. Hi I love a girl and she…
    Hi I love a girl and she seems to nasty to me and I can’t approach her because she is so hard for to penetrate. I wish she could understand my feeling

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Hasso,

      Have have you told her how you feel toward her?

      Unfortunately sometimes a person you like may not feel the same as you do and you would have to respect their feelings and choice.

      If you have not told how you feel find a good time to talk to her, you can also be introduced to her by a mutual friend or better still send her a text to introduce yourself and pick up from there if her response is positive. We wish you well.

  10. I married for about six…
    I married for about six years and we had ason but later we come and separeted and my wife talk me that our son wasn’t me,what should I do our son loves me so much and he knows that I am his father but her mother is blocking him from me.what should I do? And we have separated for five years and I want to marry again.

    1. Hi Paul,…
      Hi Paul,

      I can imagine this is distressing to you. There is little you can do if you are not the biological father of the child as it relates to being a father to him. But have you been able to confirm that you are indeed not the father? You could have a DNA test done to confirm this. If you are indeed the courts can compel her allow you participate in the raising of child including access to your son. Was your marriage legally registered? If you are no longer together nothing stops you from you getting married again to another person. We wish you well.

  11. I have aguy …we have dated…
    I have aguy …we have dated for two years now but each tym he’s with his mom bzy each n everyday am damn tired ov his being busy for real yet we tek long t meet n communication is not dat good what can I do plz cos he tells mi dat he loves mi am so confused

    1. Hey Asia,…
      Hey Asia,

      It takes time, dedication and good communication to make a relationship work and grow. If you are not spending quality time together and you are also not communicating well, this may get in the way of you having a great fulfilling relationship. It is important you talk to your partner about the need for better communication and spending time together. Let him know what your expectations are for the relationship so you can both agree how to proceed. We wish you well.

  12. I love relationship between…
    I love relationship between boys and girl love it it good wow work hard to be happy in lifes.

    1. Thank you Cynthia for your…
      Thank you Cynthia for your contribution.

  13. THIS IS SO LOVING MASSAGE…
    THIS IS SO LOVING MASSAGE INDEED.THANK YOU

    1. Hey Aisha,…
      Hey Aisha,

      We are glad that this was useful information to you.

  14. Am glad for your advice now…
    Am glad for your advice now that am in a relationship with my prince charming for six months now….am so happy for the information.thank you

    1. We are happy for you Mizpah.
      We are happy for you Mizpah.

  15. I dating a guy 4 a year now…
    I dating a guy 4 a year now and I am older then him;he happen to have a single mother neighbour who do not like me that much.I don’t know y due.But I am having this feels that d guy in question do not love me as much as i do.what should do in such situation.

    1. Hey Success,…
      Hey Success,

      Have you talked to your partner about this? How his mother feels about you has nothing to do with how much he loves you. Being a single mother she may just be feeling the need to protect her son. Talk to your partner about this he will play an important role in helping his mother to be more accepting of you. Lastly, if you have both chosen to be together you are in love and committed to each, then your age difference will not affect your relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/does-age-difference-matter

  16. I have been dating a boy for…
    I have been dating a boy for three month now and he had change after seeing some text of my best friends (boys) calling me sweetheart I try to call him to explain but he keeps on ignoring my call and txt

    1. Hi Waridi, He obviously…
      Hi Waridi, He obviously misinterpreted what sweetheart means in the context of the relationship you have with the other boys.
      There is little you can do to if he refuses to pick your call or respond to your texts. Maybe you want to give it sometime before trying to reach out to him again. You have to think about your best friends and how to handle the relationships you have with them when you are dating. Lastly, be open to the fact that he may not be willing to get back with you, and for this reason you will have to respect his choice and move on.

  17. My fiance does not talk…
    My fiance does not talk unless is drunk or has taken mogoka which is the same as drinking alcohol

    1. Hi, It can be tough to have…
      Hi, It can be tough to have a relationship that doesn’t have open and honest communication particularly when both partners are sober and perhaps coherent. Has your partner shared why they won’t talk to you unless under the influence? That might be a good place to start, also it is important to consider whether your partner needs help, whether they could be depended or addicted to alcohol. We wish you well.

  18. Have been in a releationship…
    Have been in a releationship and we were in love but things changed when my partner got a job and moved on to another town where she was employed..she doesn’t talk to me as she used to and when I call her she doesn’t pick my calls. Instead she texts me that she’s busy…hrlp

      1. Hi,I am in deep love with a…
        Hi,I am in deep love with a married man who shortly separated with his wife..he tells me his wife wants to resettle back n I crazily love this guy I can’t imagine of withdrawal,how do I help the situation

  19. i wish u all the best in ur…
    i wish u all the best in ur relationship n choose the right person.

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution Betty.

  20. Hi am in a relationship and…
    Hi am in a relationship and it is a long distance we usually talk or l call him but the problem is ldonot know to tell wen l answer his call am lost of words all tym but we do love each other plz help

    1. Hi Qharl, You can begin by…
      Hi Qharl, You can begin by talking about those things you both have interest in, things you both like or enjoy talking about. Avoid topics that are likely to cause tension. Begin by talking about those things that you don’t have to give too much thought to, like how your day was. As you get to know each other, conversations will be easier.

  21. hi, i have been a…
    hi, i have been a relationship from feb this year with a married man although his wife lives in kisumu and the man in mombasa. he has been commited and i really love him and he loves me too. am worried because he often calls me and if he calls me its either we go share dinner then back or for a ceremony like bash. i understand his work is up to late midnight but am worried if he is serious because he had told me to look for a bigger house we live together. plz help

    1. Hi Aggy, I can’t tell you if…
      Hi Aggy, I can’t tell you if he is serious, but if you feel he is going back on his word talk to him about it. It may help to work with specific timelines of when this will happen. Talk about what you want and have him tell you what he wants then you can work together to achieve these.

  22. I have been in so many…
    I have been in so many relationships and none seem to work. What could be the problem? Please help me

    1. Hi Chaser, you may want to…
      Hi Chaser, you may want to begin by looking back at what caused your relationships to fail. Learn from those experiences and do better in future.

  23. I have a boyfriend we have…
    I have a boyfriend we have been in relationship for one half months but he saddley change I don’t know the reason why he don’t pick my calls,if I try to text him he don’t reapply and switch of his phone

    1. Hi Immaculate, Sorry about…
      Hi Immaculate, Sorry about this. You can only be able to sort out the issues in your relationship if he is willing to talk to you which is not the case right now. You may want to give it time to see if he will be willing to talk to you. If he chooses not to you will have to allow yourself to move on. We wish you well.

  24. I was in luv wiz aguy who…
    I was in luv wiz aguy who luved mi, bt he lft mi 4 one yr wizout commicomminicting so he came bac wen i hav got another guy bt stil he luved mi so i left dat guy en went on wiz him bt again after he also went wiz out commincating so dis tym i got another guy en got pregnant so i got married bt after getting my bby,he came bak luking 4mi en we met 1day en discussed bt da dad ov my kid was jst misstreating mi… I started getting drims every day dat dat guy was luking 4mi ,after a short tym i seperated wiz da dad ov my kid bt still getting drims abt dat guy dat he z luking 4mi, two weaks bak i got him on fb telling mi dat he still luvs mi bt nw he takes long to call mi or txt mi wat can i do coz i luv him en having drims on him.. Pliz hlp mi

    1. Hi Vero, It appears he knows…
      Hi Vero, It appears he knows that you will always accept him back regardless of how many times he leaves you. You need to make a decision as to what it is you want in a partner, do you want to be with a person who only comes to you when it is convenient for them and leaves without notice only to come back? A good relationship is one that is stable, one that you know your partner will always choose you. Think about what you want in a partner and make a decision.

  25. hi.I av a gf we av been…
    hi.I av a gf we av been 2getha since we started sec school.the girl says she love mh so much&she shows that always wen we are together even though e arent 2getha at om we are far.what can i do to make her not to liv mh

  26. I love my guy. But sometimes…
    I love my guy. But sometimes I get a feeling he is cheating on me.

    1. Hey Annita, there is no way…
      Hey Annita, there is no way to tell for sure that your partner is cheating on you, like you said it is just a feeling. The best you can do however is to share your concerns alongside your fears with your partner. Let him know why you feel something could be wrong. The intention is not to accuse them of cheating but really to get to understand what could be going so that together you can agree on to proceed.

  27. hi m dating a married man en…
    hi m dating a married man en we’ve bin in a relationship in six months now……he has promised to Marry me as a second wife but I doubt him dat he must be cheating on me co he has started behaving strangely I fear he jus wanna misuse me en dump me I nid Sam advice pliz

  28. Hello, how can i improve…
    Hello, how can i improve communication skills in my rship coz anytime silence emerge from nowhere. Please assist me

  29. Hi Liz, there is really no…
    Hi Liz, there is really no way to tell if he is having another relationship, best thing to do is to share your fears and suspicions with him. The intention is not really to accuse him of cheating but to find out what could be going on based on the changes you have observed. Remember, by being with you secretly, he is cheating on his wife. Find a good time and talk about this and the future of your relationship.

  30. Hey Kym, To break the…
    Hey Kym, To break the silence you have to talk to each other. It is important you address the silence and what could have led to it. Open and honest communication is important for any relationship and it takes the efforts of both partners to have good communication in a relationship. Remember the quality of communication in your relationship affects the quality of the relationship. Find a good time and talk to your partner and let them know what the lack of communication or silence affects your relationship.

  31. my girl friend z always…
    my girl friend z always tough wen she toks to me bt very free wiz my litle bro dat she tels him al her secrets..diz brings shit to me nd dnt knw wat to do

  32. Hello Angel, have you and…
    Hello Angel, have you and your partner created a conducive environment where open and honest conversations can happens? Perhaps you need to talk about it, express your feelings and also share how you would like your relationship to be.

  33. I really wanna know how to…
    I really wanna know how to keep my relationship strong with my love one who stays far to me..I really love her and I want our love stays

    1. Hello there, hope you have…
      Hello there, hope you have found the information on this article useful. Keep reading.

  34. We appreciate your…
    We appreciate your contribution Ambrose.

  35. I hv my gf who stays far…
    I hv my gf who stays far from me but I have no many words to. tell her

    1. Hi Bongo, Communication is…

      Hi Bongo, Communication is essential for any relationship and especially when you are in a long distance relationship. A good place to start is to find topics or things to talk about that you both enjoy and as you get to know each other better and become free with each other, your communication will be made easier. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  36. there is acertain lady i…
    there is acertain lady i want to kon but i dont know wea to start 4rom pliz give some tips on hw i should start the journey

    1. Hey Basser, You really just…

      Hey Basser, You really just have to be brave and let her know how you feel toward her. If you are not confident enough to do this face to face, you can consider texting or talking on the phone. You can also have a mutual friend introduce you then pick it up from there. All the best. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

    1. You are welcome Shaban.

      You are welcome Shaban.

  37. Have been in a relationship…
    Have been in a relationship for one year with a guy bt the guy is married with a son ….he claims that he will marry both of us but I dont trust this .he claims to be busy while I know he is not ..when he goes to the other wife he doesn’t talk to me ….when he is with me he rarely talks …I have found him cheating twice with other girls apart from the wife but anakataanga…I dont feel like I love this guy anymore and am wondering how I will break the news that I dont love him anymore and more so have already fallen in love with another guy but yet to accept him

  38. Go ahead! u neva kno, ask…
    Go ahead! u neva kno, ask yosf how mch hard tym did u giv hm in da hot days.. ull get da answer!

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution.

  39. I LOVE SOMEONE AND HE ALSO…
    I LOVE SOMEONE AND HE ALSO LOVES ME BUT WE FEAR EACH OTHER

    1. Hey Sophie, if you do love…

      Hey Sophie, if you do love someone, the next thing to do is to is to find a way to share your feelings with them especially if you think they feel the same way. You however need to open to the fact that they may not feel the same as you do and that you may have misinterpreted their actions toward you. If you are not confident enough to talk with them face to face, you could consider texting or calling. We wish you well.  Check out this articles for more tips;- 

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/is-it-love

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

    1. Glad that you like the…

      Glad that you like the article. 

  40. Hi?,I’m in love with my bozz…
    Hi?,I’m in love with my bozz,n he keepz vizitin at my place n each tyme he cmeZ huwa ananizhik zhika yenye n criaz mpaka tunazhitukia tumetoa nguo bt each tyme tukikarimbia kuhave zex he keepz talling me iz not the right tyme coZ were not zave,each tyme I call him nimzhow nataka kumwona hukuja,BT I don’t kno if he feel the zame CME haja..ii niambia,plZ advice me

    1. Hi Jane, ni vizuri umuulize…

      Hi Jane, ni vizuri umuulize yeye anafeel aje kukuhusu ndio aweze kukuambia kama anafeel the same. Bila kumuuliza hauwezi jua na action zake zinaweza kumaanisha kitu tofauti. Tafuta time poa ndio muongee kuhusu relationship yenu ndio ujue anafeel aje, wewe pia umwambie unafeel aje alafu mpange juu ya siku za mbele pamoja. All the best. 

  41. communication is key in a…
    communication is key in a relationship!!!

    1. Indeed, open and honest…

      Indeed, open and honest communication.

  42. Ihave boyfriend who loves me…
    Ihave boyfriend who loves me but he so committed to his work.ilove him but am confused

    1. Hi Varsity, have you talked…

      Hi Varsity, have you talked with your partner about this? Spending quality time is an important part of any relationship. Partners get to know each better and grow their relationship by spending quality time together. Find a good time and talk with your partner about the need for spending time together without which partners draw apart. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  43. hi, i have a girl friend but…
    hi, i have a girl friend but she’s always angry wid me all the time i sms her.. wat can i do plz

    1. Hi Eric, have you asked her…

      Hi Eric, have you asked her why she is always angry with you when you text? This is a good place to start, find a good time and talk with your partner to get to know why they are always angry with you and then then together find a solution for this. Open and honest communication will go along way toward strengthening and making your relationship better. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  44. My partner and I cant talk…
    My partner and I cant talk about anything it is always his way or no other way. How can I get him to be understanding and to listen more to my opinion on different stuff…

    1. Hi there, relationships are…

      Hi there, relationships are about respect, understanding and compromise. Partners, must be willing to listen to each other and also compromise for each other. In the absence of these, it maybe difficult to have a fulfilling relationship. Find a good time and share with your partner how this makes you feel and how it affects your relationship with him, perhaps he will be more willing to listen to you. Check out the following article for more tips in communication;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  45. Thanks for teaching us
    Thanks for teaching us

    1. You are welcome Beatrice.

      You are welcome Beatrice.

  46. Am new here, who’s gonna be…
    Am new here, who’s gonna be by friend here

    1. You are welcome to LOve…

      You are welcome to LOve Matters CJ. We hope you will find the articles here fun and useful. 

      1. You are welcome to Love…

        You are welcome to Love Matters Africa. Feel free to engage.

  47. Hi please in what ways can I…
    Hi please in what ways can I know that a guy truly loves me or what can I do to find out he is not cheating

    1. Hey Trezer, feel free to as…

      Hey Trezer, feel free to as any question on Love, Sex and Relationship and we shall be more than glad to respond to you.

    1. Hi Mary, what can we do for…

      Hi Mary, what can we do for you?

  48. Hi guys, I met this guy on a…
    Hi guys, I met this guy on a social media 2 months ago,we are not in the same place though, we are far away from each other. Being a good friend to each other and also ask for my digits which I did, he always calls time to time…. But as time goes on, we felt 4 each other, and it has never happened to me before ,I mean falling in love with a person on a social media, later on, he asked me out which I said YES… We get to know ourselves more better and communicates well…. But guys things has changed and am getting tired of this but keep saying he loves me

    1. Hello Aminat, what has…

      Hello Aminat, what has changed and what are you tiered of? It is important to think about what you are looking for in a relationship and also share this with your partner as well as have them share with you what their expectations are in the relationship. This will help you decide on how to proceed. Find a good time and talk with your partner about the issues and concerns you have, to find a solution together. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  49. I love my boyfriend that I…
    I love my boyfriend that I can give my life for him I made some many sacrifice for him but each time he talks to me he talk to me like i am no body like I am nothing to him

    1. Hi Joy, so sorry about this…

      Hi Joy, so sorry about this. Have you shared with him what your expectations are in the relationship? Communication is essential for any relationship to work. It is important that you talk with your partner about your expectations of him are and also have him share with you what his expectations are. This way, you will both agree on how to proceed or not. It is also important that you foster open and honest communication since this is essential toward addressing any problems in the relationship;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

    1. You are welcome Victoria. 

      You are welcome Victoria. 

  50. I appreciate this group for…
    I appreciate this group for giving me the ways in which I’ll handle my relationship..it’s really works for me and I learned how to physically, Emotionally and phsycologically understand him when talking to me

    1. We are so glad Debbie. You…

      We are so glad Debbie. You are very welcome. 

  51. I appreciate it..it’s really…
    I appreciate it..it’s really works for me.tnks

    1. Hey Danny, Sorry to say, we…

      Hey Danny, Sorry to say, we are not a dating service and cannot assist you in finding a partner. Best thing to do is take some time with yourself, find hobbies, practice things that you love and try to learn how to be happy with yourself. Happiness and confidence is attractive in a person and when you find yourself in a good place people will find you. As always, feel free to ask us any questions about love, sex or relationships if they come up. Best of luck.

  52. hey,i have dated a guy for 5…
    hey,i have dated a guy for 5 years now,but on our 3rd year of our relationship,i found him with a woman,and i realized i was a sidechick,everything went first,the same week he lost his job,so i couldnt leave,i thought it would take shorter time but till date he has not been able to secure a job,though i decided to forgive him,but i realized he is never going to love me through his action towards me,we are hoping for a job sooner,is it okay to break upwith him after he gets the job
    i’m 26.sue

    1. Hi Sue, thank you for…

      Hi Sue, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear you have had such a hard time. You have to decide for yourself what you want. Consider everything you have been through. What you want for yourself, and what you feel is best for your future.

  53. I’m success,26 years of age…
    I’m success,26 years of age,I dated this guy for over 3 years though I’ve never caught him cheating before,we really love each other but he made a mistake by slapping me (no beat) and this is what I 8t most in man,I decided to move on, later he begged me so we started dating again but the love is no more there,he try all he could but the relationship couldn’t work out anymore,so he makes me 8t men allot
    After 2 and 1/2 yes I was advised to give someone else chance I did but I’ve never expected bro love again, though I love these guys,and I can feel it that he loves me too but he always do something, due to his own experiences with his ex he behaves like h doesn’t Care and it’s really affecting me, it’s like my heart is getting broken again … please what can I do

    1. Hello Success, thank you for…

      Hello Success, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that you were physically assaulted in your previous relationship. Such situations could lead to trauma and make it difficult for a person to build strong and lasting relationships in the future. The best thing to do is talk to a counselor to help you through this. 1195 is the One2One Toll-free number you can call to talk to someone about this issue.

  54. I love a girl very much but…
    I love a girl very much but I am afraid to speak her.
    Someone will then be the recipe. there is to talk to him or how to talk to him I like him very much.

    1. Hi Roshan, thank you so much…

      Hi Roshan, thank you so much for reahing out to us. There is no single recipie of approaching anyone per say and reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive. 

      The best way to do this when you are nervous is to talk to people who share interest. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you an it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there. 

      Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached the (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them. 

      Everyone has nerves and the girls know that. They will be flattered that you even tried to reach out and talk. 

      We will be sending you positive thoughts, and feel free to ask any other questions as they arise. 
        <3 The Love Matters Team 

  55. IF LOVEING U WILL MAKE ME A…
    IF LOVEING U WILL MAKE ME A FOOL I WILL BE ONE FOR THE SAKE OF YUR LOVE

  56. How can I gate my lover…
    How can I gate my lover hereplz

  57. Hello Bikoboy, 

    Hello Bikoboy, 

    Unfortunately, we are not a dating site and therefore, cannot help you find a partner. We provide honest information about Love, Sex and Relationships. Feel free to ask any question and we shall be more than glad to respond to you.

    Love Matters Team

  58. I fell in love with my…
    I fell in love with my friends neighbour we i went for a visit, she loves me so mch en i love her the same. Bt my sister has called me to go home that she is missing me so mch that she wants to see me, so i hv to travel hme bt my girlfriend says she wants to with me. Bt our hme z very far en am scared she wil get a problem with her parents of which wil be bad on both of us. I want her to remain bt knw how am going to express it to her becoz she says she cant stay without me

    1. It makes sense that you…

      It makes sense that you would be worried about this. The best thing would be to try and talk to another member of her family, if possible her parents, to see if she has permission to go on this trip. You could find yourself in trouble if you go on this trip without the relevant permissions.

  59. Hi pls there is this guy we…
    Hi pls there is this guy we dated for 2years and we both went to the same University am still an undergraduate but he graduated last year, I got pregnant for him recently and what he did was to denied it but his parent took care of me till I delivered and up till now he’s still not ready to show love to me and my kid which is really saddling my heart he has never call to check up on me and my kid pls my question now us that how do I stop worrying abt him because I still love him and I want that to stop by I don’t know how to do that and focus on myself ND kid only pls help me

    1. Hi Anonymous. So sorry to…

      Hi Anonymous. So sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time. It is really great to hear that you have resolved to move past this is decided to take care of yourself and your child. It is understandable that you would feel broken-hearted by this situation.

      This article has some pointers to help take you through this period. Remember to take as much time as you need.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/heartbreak-it-does-get-better

  60. We are so glad and your…

    We are so glad and your feedback is just as precious, David! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

  61. I WANT AN ANSWER TO THIS
    A…

    I WANT AN ANSWER TO THIS
    A LADY TOLD ME SHE IS CRUSHING ON ME I SAID FINE AND THE NEXT DAY SHE WAS ASKING ME WETHER I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER AND I TOLD HER I DONT KNOW, THE NEXT THING SHE DID IS STARTING TO IGNORE ME

    1. Hi Ibrahim, thank you for…

      Hi Ibrahim, thank you for reaching out to us. It is usually quite hard for people to express their feelings and when they get an indefinate answer they may feel embarassed or do not know what to do next. Try reassuring her that her confession does not make you feel any different. If you feel that your relationship may be affected, let her know. Communication is an important part of any relationship.

  62. My crush told me he likes me…
    My crush told me he likes me we don’t meet physical but we chat together, now circumstances are holding him and we are now talking less but I want to be sure if he still loves me

    1. Hello Happyday, thank you…

      Hello Happyday, thank you for reaching out to us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. What kind of circumstances is he currently dealing with? 

  63. Hi i called my guy on phone…
    Hi i called my guy on phone and he says i don’t love him becaus i don’t want to make love wit him that is not by calling alone. Please what can i do?

  64. Hi Joy, thank you for…

    Hi Joy, thank you for reaching out to us and we are so sorry you are going through a hard time. Making love is not the only form of expression of love. If you have informed him that you are not ready to be physically intimate with him, then he should respect your boundaries. That respect is a form of love, lack of it is a form of lust which is completely different. Do not let anyone force you to do anything you do not want to do with your body in the name of love. 

  65. My guy always tell me he…
    My guy always tell me he love me but those not call me wen i call too wen we are talking sometimes he hang up the call,sometimes i call many times he dont answer it and sometimes he answer it he is always busy and am not happy and i told him but he is still dont answer my calls sometime!Is all this also in true love?Those he love me or just playing my mind becus i always want the best for both of us but dont know why this is happen cus i really love him!Pls i need an advice pls!

    1. Hello Rachael, thank you for…

      Hello Rachael, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
      This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
       

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

  66. Hi I have dated a guy for…
    Hi I have dated a guy for about 3years now and we have not seen each other face and he ask me how do I feel about him without sex

  67. I,hv,dated,a,guy,upto,9yrs…
    I,hv,dated,a,guy,upto,9yrs,now,nd,we,truly,loves,each,other,but,one,girl,have,swear,not,to,leave,him.recently,i,don’t,know,what,to,do,course,am,afraid,to,lose,him,to,another,girl.advice,pls

    1. Hello sonia, thank you for…

      Hello sonia, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
      This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

  68. I dated agirl for now one…
    I dated agirl for now one year and refusing to pick my calls thinking that am loving her friend yet am nt loving her friend now am confused what should i do now just help me tell me what to do

    1. Hello Marin, thank you for…

      Hello Marin, thank you for reaching out to us, we appreciate it. So sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. It would be best to wait for her calm down and have a conversation with her about the issue. Try to be open and honest and speak about your feelings. Listen to her own fears and try to respond to them, try not to be confrontational to try and keep the conversation productive.

  69. Now am lonily am waiting 4…
    Now am lonily am waiting 4 ur ideas

    1. Hello Marin, here we are,…

      Hello Marin, here we are, talk to us.

  70. good evening, happy Easter,…
    good evening, happy Easter, pls i want to ask a question concerned the issues i had,i call my guy in phone to know how things is going on ,to my surprise he told me that her wife came for a visit but he don’t want us to end our relationship, pls what does it means

    1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

      Hello Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. He has told you what he feels and although it is difficult to accept, you may be forced to come to terms with it. You could ask to see him so you get closure. However, be prepared to hear things you are not willing to and that may hurt you. Regardless, know that as difficult as it may be you will get through this period.

  71. I got my friend angry. I…
    I got my friend angry. I have never seen him this angry help what should I do.

    1. Hi Oluchi, 

      It is normal…

      Hi Oluchi, 

      It is normal and okay for someone to get angry when they feel that you have done them wrong. The best thing is to apologize and admit that you were wrong. The tips in this article will help you talk to your friend and resolve your differences. Wishing you al the best!

  72. so today my boyfriend…
    so today my boyfriend actually held another girls waist and she sat on his lap.although I wasn’t there when it happened he told me after making me promise I wouldn’t be upset. I was actually upset but I pretended and told him it was fine.but m nt happy with him what should I do. should I let him know m upset. ?

    1. Hi Esther, 

      Yes, you should…

      Hi Esther, 

      Yes, you should. It is very important that you let your boyfriend know that while you appreciate his honesty, you do not like what he did. He may interpret your silence to mean that you are okay if he does it again. Have an honest conversation with him about this. 

  73. I need help I have a gal but…
    I need help I have a gal but the girl went back to her Ex but when I decided to let go she told me she loves me more than him and he’s Ex and am bae. What shall I do.

    1. Hi Mesh, 

      Huh, it seems…

      Hi Mesh, 

      Huh, it seems that she’s not decided about what she wants. It also seems that she wants to eat her cake and have it too. The best thing for you to do is to let go since she may hurt you in the end. Give her the space to think clearly about what she wants. In the end, you deserve to be with someone who is sure that they want to be with you. 

  74. Sometimes our partners don…
    Sometimes our partners don’t allow us to talk

    1. Hi Sam, 

      Thank you! God…

      Hi Sam, 

      Thank you! God bless too. 

  75. Am 19years I have my…
    Am 19years I have my girlfriend .for sure I love her with all my heart.and I take her as my Mumm Queen. I meet her once in a conference.
    On 8-1-2020.
    But we used calls to build our love. But oneday came recently on 7-7-2021
    We got misunderstanding each other and which brought that I tried to call her almost one week her phone was off. But a day came she after one week and 4days she called me and I picked up the phone, she started repenting me to forgive her. I told her that first sing and I forgive u .she told to be ready to listen for her song. She sang a little bit the part was so nice .and I begged her to sing for me a chorus. She refused for I joked saying when u don’t sing for a chorus no talking on the phone recently she hanged
    Up a call and she called me again and recently she started quarreling saying u think that without calling u means that I have got another guy to love. I tried to explain that I was not meaning that sweetheart for I was joking to finish up the song. she just continued quarreling lastly she told me, l will call u tomorrow again. I begged to forgive me she hanged up a phone.
    So upto date I have never had again her wonderful voice. Her number is not online and remember I have never meet her again since 2020-2021 and she told me before this happen to meet each will in 2023 and for I see it is too long
    And I don’t lose her any more coz is the whom I peace and I take her as my love,my Queen, my mummy,my Prince,my daughter, my heart and everything in my life. in short I respect her so much and I love her abundantly and ready to serve her as my Queen of my life.
    What can I do??pliz. Bambi
    I need your help. Coz I don’t what to lose my Queen.

    1. Hello Wamono, 

      Huh, it…

      Hello Wamono, 

      Huh, it seems that 2020 and 2021 have not been easy for you. So sorry about that. To answer your question, conflicts are a normal part of any relationship. Even the most lovely couple you see out here has conflicts. The most important thing is to come up with the best ways to dealing with conflicts. 

      You and your girlfriend seem to have started well but somewhere along the way, you had a fight and it seems that it is from here that your relationship had more problems. It is important to come up with better ways to resolve conflicts. Some tips you can use are: ensure that you remain very calm during arguments, address the problem that is causing the conflict and try to see if there may be other bigger issues that may be causing the conflict, always remember to compromise so that both of you can make fair sacrifices to make the relationship work. 

      Read this article to get more tips: How to handle fights in a relationship

      Also, consider whether the issue that caused the disagreement can be solved. If you feel like you will have to sacrifice your values, morals, or dreams to make the relationship work, then you should think about whether this relationship is really worth staying in. In some cases, it is better to break up than be in a relationship where you and your partner fight and she is not willing to solve the issue. You clearly love your girlfriend but if she loves you too, she should want to work on your relationship and solve the issues you’re both facing. 

      Read this article to learn more about healthy love:What healthy love looks like

      On the other hand, be aware that your girlfriend may not have strong feelings for you in the same way that you do. Being aware of this ensures that you do not get disappointed if or when she does not show interest in solving the conflict. 

      Good luck!

  76. I have got a guy that we…
    I have got a guy that we have dated for 2years now, he has never said I love you but he’s always there when I need his help , he come around spends time with me , he talk to me about his family problems and what the challenges that he’s facing in his place of work are but I’m still not feeling because he doesn’t say I love you and I feel there’s no head way in the relationship.

    1. Hi Faith,

      To be fair, some…

      Hi Faith,

      To be fair, some partners may not be good at expressing emotions openly. This does not mean that he does not love or care for you. It could be that he was raised in a family that did not express love. Perhaps you can start by asking him why he has never said ‘I love you’ and what those three words mean to him. Ask him about how he feels about you. Be clear who you are to him and where he thinks the relationship is going. His actions show that he cares about you but you also need to be sure and the only way to do that is to ask him. 

  77. Please , what’s your…
    Please , what’s your Facebook page name
    , I love your response and how you advise me and I want to know more on how to start a conversation with my guy to get a good respond.

    1. Thank you, Belcozzy! Do tell…

      Thank you, Belcozzy! Don’t forget to tell us how it goes when you apply these tips!

  78. Thank u so much ur advice…
    Thank u so much ur advice really helped

    1. Hi there, 

      That’s good to…

      Hi there, 

      That’s good to hear! We are glad we can help!

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