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© Love Matters | Rita Lino

Types of relationships

A relationship means different things to different people, and what makes one person happy could make another unhappy.

What sort of relationship do you want to be in? Marriage is important for many people, for example, but not everyone wants to get married. Some couples want to live together and spend a lot of time in each other’s company, while others prefer to give each other more space.

Everyone manages relationships in their own way. It’s important to make sure that you and your partner want the same kind of relationship and have similar expectations.

Committed relationships

Being in a committed relationship means deciding together on the rules of the relationship and accepting them. It normally means being loyal and ‘exclusive’ to each other. You don’t make out or have sex with anyone except your partner.

Commitment isn’t just about sex though – there’s also emotional commitment. This means being honest about your feelings for each other and trusting each other in all areas of life. It’s likely that you’re in a committed relationship if you’ve been with the same person for a long time, made a mutual promise to be faithful, shared a room or a home, established close financial ties – or if you’re married.

The easiest way to find out if you’ve managed to pass the commitment test is to have a talk about it with your partner. Evaluate what both of you want from the relationship and from each other. This honest and open discussion should show the level of commitment you have towards each other.

Related: Signs you’re falling in love

Open relationships

Couples who are in open relationships allow each other to date or have sex with other people. It means they’re honest with their partners about sleeping with other people and ideally don’t see it as a hindrance to their relationship.

There are different reasons why couples might agree to open relationships. Some people really believe in loving more than one person at the same time. Some are looking for the closeness of a steady relationship without giving up the thrill of new sexual experiences with other people. For others, it could be because of lack of sexual compatibility or living far away from each other. Or maybe they’d really prefer to split up, but because of circumstances – children, family, money – they choose to stay together but have other relationships too.

Some couples who find open relationships work out well for them. But many run into problems. It seems like an appealing idea at first, and you think you’ll be able to cope with the emotions. But in reality, there’s no avoiding it: you end up feeling jealous. This can damage the whole relationship.

The best thing to do before entering into an open relationship is to have a long talk about it and share your concerns and insecurities. Then it might be good to test the waters by seeing how it goes for an agreed period of time before making the final decision.

Live-in relationships

In some cultures, it’s okay for couples to live together without being married. In Kenya, live-in relationships aren’t a socially accepted norm, but more and more young, urban couples are choosing to live together anyway.

Partners may choose to live together without getting married for various reasons. It could be because they want to maintain their single status, or because of financial reasons or because they’re gay and can’t marry legally.

Many people also use live-in relationships to find out if they’re comfortable living together before they get married. 

Live-in relationships need a lot of commitment and many couples who live together don’t see themselves as any different from married couples. Many countries in the West give long-term live-in relationships the same legal status as marriages in case of separation.

Married relationships

Marriage is a legal union between two people and also signifies social acceptance of the relationship. In some cultures, two people can only start living together when they’re married.

The decision to get married could be made by the couple, or their families could also be involved. When the couple falls in love first it’s called a ‘love marriage’, and when parents and families set everything up it’s called an ‘arranged marriage’. Many marriages involve elements of both.

A marriage is usually celebrated with a wedding, and married couples often celebrate their wedding anniversary every year.

Related: How to establish healthy boundaries in  relationships 

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (338)

  1. How can a woman have two men
    How can a woman have two men as husbands?

    1. Just like some men have two
      Just like some men have two women, in some cultures women can have more than one husband.

        1. Hey Darasimi, it actually…

          Hey Darasimi, it actually does happen in some cultures. Clearly though, this is something not acceptable to you and we appreciate that.

      1. We appreciate your opinion…

        We appreciate your opinion Charles. 

      1. We respect your opinion…

        We respect your opinion Sandy.

    2. no way unless they divorce…
      no way unless they divorce and de woman get married to another man

      1. Thank you for your…

        Thank you for your contribution Nkeoma.

        1. Thank you for your opinion…

          Thank you for your opinion Priscilla, why don’t you agree with us?

           

    3. No sane man would jus wake…
      No sane man would jus wake up one day and begin a journey without having it in mind to make that journey. He has a picture of wat his/her journey will look like….

      People don’t just do things without a clear picture of wat they want….

      1. Thank you Covenant for your…

        Thank you Covenant for your contribution. 

    4. This is wrong,bcoz in Islam…
      This is wrong,bcoz in Islam it alow one woman to have one men as her husband,if not is prohibited to have two husband as the same time.

      1. Hello Umar, we respect your…

        Hello Umar, we respect your right to your opinions and your right to conscience. However, just as you are respected, respect the rights and will of others to make decisions and choices for themselves.

      1. Interestion view Christina.

        Interestion view Christina.

    5. Woman cannot have more than…
      Woman cannot have more than one husband

      1. Hello Lizy, legally this is…

        Hello Lizy, legally this is true. However, a woman may have multiple partners if she so wishes.

  2. When is the right time to
    When is the right time to love n where do this right people stay

    1. Awww, Agiyne, I’m sorry, but
      Awww, Agiyne, I’m sorry, but I can’t answer this… Just keep your eyes and heart open- and you will find what you are searching for.

      1. My heart is in love with ha…
        My heart is in love with ha bt she doesn’t love back.l’m confused wot will l do…?

    2. If u find aguy telling u he…
      If u find aguy telling u he loves u and want to marry u but he is busy with his work no meetings ,wen u ask when awe getng married then he say wait lwill tell u maybe next but l dont we the month is that guy serious with u or u quit

      1. Risper, Only he can tell…
        Risper, Only he can tell whether he is committed to the promise he made. It maybe important to find a good time so you can talk about the future of your relationship and plan toward it together.

      2. Nice but you are not alone
        Nice but you are not alone

        1. We appreciate your…

          We appreciate your contribution Maurice.

  3. I see my love not working
    I see my love not working becouse my love is far away even we stayes for a month without meeting ad italked with her but there was noresponse am thinking for a divoce should i

    1. u should advice him,her or…
      u should advice him,her or if he,she disagrees and should live him,her

    2. My advice is not divorce at…
      My advice is not divorce at this time atleast give it some time en after that break ask her wat happened to ur relationship if no reply from her get to know she is not still in line

      1. We appreciate your…
        We appreciate your contribution Emilly.

  4. how kan i know that their is
    how kan i know that their is trust in a r/ship?

    1. Geoffrey,

      Geoffrey,
      trust is important, but difficult to show. Be as open as possible, and communicate well. That should show that you are trustworthy!

    2. First,you must trust…
      First,you must trust yourself.that is the foundation for trust in a relationship.Then your partner will reciprocate,then it becomes evident

      1. Thank you for your…

        Thank you for your contribution Isaiah. 

  5. am tired of relationship and
    am tired of relationship and i don’t want to lov again

    1. No, please don’t, Geofrey!
      No, please don’t, Geofrey! Love hurts, but it can also be beautiful. Take a break, but don’t shut your heart to love!

    2. You know, been single is…
      You know, been single is sometimes good but my dear it’s never good at all… Give a try to it, open up your heart and mind. Look for someone not too far or close to you and maybe it will work out for you both.. Best of lucks.

      1. Thank you Morgan for your…

        Thank you Morgan for your thoughts.

  6. Am in love with this girl.And
    Am in love with this girl.And when we make love,she complain thats am hurting her.she says that my tool is big and it hurt her.what should i do?

  7. Am in love with this girl.And
    Am in love with this girl.And when we make love,she complain thats am hurting her.she says that my tool is big and it hurt her.what should i do?

  8. I have been in a relationship
    I have been in a relationship with a woman 17yr older than me and never slept together in 1full yr we hv dated. Is it normal to be inlove were there is such a gap

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      age is just a number, and love doesn’t care about that number. Whether you are 3, 7, 15 years younger or older, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the love and the relationship between you.

  9. my bf n i hv bin dating for a
    my bf n i hv bin dating for a yr nw…we prmd nt to hv sex til marriage..bt hs nw insisting dat we must hv sex…my religious beliefs dnt allow me to do so…both of us love much…itold hm to tek hsleave…bt nw i just realised dat i want hm back so badly bt amnt ready to hv sex wd hm…wat do i do?am hurting….nampenda sana

    1. Hi Jane,

      Hi Jane,
      first of all, don’t let him pressure you into having sex. It is your choice, and if you don’t want to, don’t do it.
      But sometimes, sex is such a big thing that people break up over it. it happens, even though it’s sad.
      Have a look at this article, it answers your question, but from the man’s perspective: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/love-without-sex

    2. Mwambie ukweli then pray for…
      Mwambie ukweli then pray for here then God will intervene

    3. My dear stick to what you…
      My dear stick to what you believe because it’s the right thing to do. If he can’t wait till marriage, it simply means he doesn’t love you as much as you love him… Sex is not love ..Do not allow your emotions to get the better part of you… Do not do what you will regret tomorrow. Men are just like that… He might not even end up marrying you. So let it go

      1. Hey Covenant, thank you for…

        Hey Covenant, thank you for your contribution. Indeed, one should only have sex when they feel they are ready, they are with the right person and it is the right time for them. 

  10. thanks love matters….ur da
    thanks love matters….ur da best

    1. Yay! Thank you, Jane!
      Yay! Thank you, Jane!

  11. is sex so dire to pruve dat
    is sex so dire to pruve dat u lov a guy..at first olmost all guys appear sweet n gentle n flirt alot..majority prms to wait for u to hv sex wd dem in marriage….then they suddenly change….aaaah yis dis so?u date a guy….follow so dip in love wd hm…onlyfor hm to demand sex b4 marriage….he leaves n uend up so heartbreaken…love hurts….

    1. Hi Jane,

      Hi Jane,
      ouch, sorry you have gone through an experience like this. Not all guys are like this… We’re keeping our fingers crossed that the next guy will respect you like you deserve it!

    2. Mmm my dear no be lie o that…
      Mmm my dear no be lie o that is just the truth.men are not just what you think they are it just takes the grace of God to get what you want in a man

      1. We appreciate your…

        We appreciate your contribution. 

  12. i have a girl who is my best
    i have a girl who is my best friend i have been with her for 2 yrs and she want to come home to know ma parents and home and don’t know how to do help me can i agree her to come

  13. My bf has another girl with 2
    My bf has another girl with 2 children. He usually tells me that he lavs me more than the wife that nowadays he does not have sex with her bcoz of me but me make lav 2gether. I really lav the guy so much lyk he does 2 me plas the children. The problem i have with him is when he is @ home n i call him he talks with me lyk another person n not his wife 2 b. Or is it that he has not teld the wife about me. What can i do do i ask him to talk to the wife about me or not.

    1. Esy,

      Esy,
      I’m sorry to tell you, but most men will not leave their family for the ‘other woman’. He might promise, that the chances are high that it will never happen.
      So if you are okay with that, no problem, but if you are looking to have a relationship with him, don’t get your hopes up too high!

      1. I agree love matters, I was…
        I agree love matters, I was going through the same problem my guy that I decided to dump him.. I realized that he was jus using me for sex, like why treat me indifferently while in the house with her then treat me sweetly when ts only me nd him!!

    2. my sister am very sory to…
      my sister am very sory to tell u that the man luvs the wife that’s y he is tking to u that wei n rem he WL not leave his family for u is the sex he wants can aman leave his children n wife for I plz ur being deceived

      1. Thank you for your…

        Thank you for your contribution Zena.

    3. To be sincere, just jump out…
      To be sincere, just jump out from that relationship and pretend that nothing happened.. Leave that woman and her family cause if you’re to be in her shoes, I don’t know if you can raise up your legs to walk. That’s never LOVE!!

      1. Thank you Morgan, we…

        Thank you Morgan, we appreciate your contribution.

      2. Many times sex is set to be…
        Many times sex is set to be dificult mater in releationship .but the true is that there most be force of atraction btwn two patners. And that depent on their agrement but truth love .dose not consider sex as big deal..true love have no effect for sex

        1. Hi there, 

          Interesting…

          Hi there, 

          Interesting perspective. Thank you for engaging with us. 

  14. How can i prove that i have
    How can i prove that i have my lover,and yet i am far from her?

    1. Hi Byrum,

      Hi Byrum,
      who are you trying to prove it to?

    2. Just keeping communications…
      Just keeping communications hence knowing his words n yoz

      1. Sowedi, thank you for your…
        Sowedi, thank you for your contribution.

  15. Thank u for the advice. The
    Thank u for the advice. The problem i still have is that this guy have promised me many things, he says he will marry me as a 2nd wife, he has promised to do any shopping and give me pocket money for my university studies next yr and in the next 2 yrs he will buy 4 me a car that i will be going with to school. He has also promised to start any bizines i want. So should i trust him or not. Am really confused n i dont want to break my heart by leaving him n starting a new relationship with another person.

    1. Hi Esy,

      Hi Esy,
      do you trust him, and think he is being truthful? Has he ever given you those things he promised? Do you love him? Do you want to be a 2nd wife? Do you see a future with him?
      Try to answer these questions, and any other ones you may have. And make your decision based on that. Good luck!

  16. Thank for the good clue u
    Thank for the good clue u have given me. At list i have something in mind. Just giving him time come next yr to fulfill his promises coz i trust him. If he has not then i will just accept that he is not good for me and move on. Thank u 4r the good advice n God bless

    1. We will be thinking of you,
      We will be thinking of you, Esy, all the best!

  17. Y is it that the guys i have
    Y is it that the guys i have dated in my life (the previous guy before breaking up and the current guy now) have their wife n children. They all love me so much that they promised to marry me as 2nd wife. Or is it that its God’s plan? Is it good to be a 2nd wife am really confused. Should i stop loving this current guy or not coz he has introduced me to some his family member and his friend to be the futer wife come 5yrs time coz now am still studing. Should i marry him?

    1. Hi Fay,

      Hi Fay,
      you are the one who is bringing yourself into these situations. Why do you have relationships with men who are already married? Is this really what you want?
      Sorry to burst your bubble, but even if they claim to love you, few would actually take a second wife (and, would you really want to be one?), and others will just keep on telling you they love you and they will leave their families, but they never will.
      Think about what you want, and make your decisions based on that.

      1. We appreciate you…
        We appreciate you contribution Sowedi.

  18. hae recently i meet a lady i
    hae recently i meet a lady i love bt it had been 1mont since i know what she feels about our relationship last week i asked her about our relationship and she said she has no feelings to me.. bt i insist her if she can allow me chance and she agree…so what should i do for her to feel me?

    1. Hi AbdiSadq,

      Hi AbdiSadq,
      all you can do is be yourself. Be nice to her, ask her questions, listen to her and communicate well. Being attentive, respectful and communicating well will be your best shot- good luck!

  19. It was not my decision to be
    It was not my decision to be in a relationship with married men. I met the guy one day and after sometimes we started dating. Later i found out that he has another woman b with 2 children but he prefers me to her. He confirmed by himself that it is true and by that time were in deep relationship that we couldnt be separated. We vowed not to keep any secreats and thats how he explained to me all that staf. At times i get confused to go on with him or not but at times am just ok with it that i will be his 2nd wife. The kids are very friendly and i love them so much. What can i do am deeply in love with him.

    1. Hi Fay,

      Hi Fay,
      it’s up to you. Do you want to be a second wife and share this man with someone else? Then go for it. If not, you know what to do.

  20. Hey i hv my bf nd he has many
    Hey i hv my bf nd he has many galz as friends nd he kolz them sweet names nd he always says am the most special gal in his life so is there any capability that he might cheat me with his friends or help me coz am afraid

    1. Hi Armnelia,

      Hi Armnelia,
      have you ever discussed this with him? What does he say?

  21. Hi…there is a lady i love
    Hi…there is a lady i love so mch bt it seems as if she doesnt take ths serious as i do n this rily worries me….wat shld i do..plz hlp

    1. Hi Ocs,

      Hi Ocs,
      why do you think she is not taking you seriously?

  22. I’ve dating a guy for like
    I’ve dating a guy for like five years now,we loved each other xo much and everybody knew except ma parents,,bt since last year the guy started having a funny behaviour which i didnt knw where it came from,,,i trusted him so much coz am always not around,for the last four years i wz in school bt now am jas at home so i thought we’ll have a gud time together bt no coz he keeps on being pissed off by simple things and tries as much as he can to make an issue out of it so that we can fight(nt physically),i’ve tried to investigate if there is sm1 bt there is nobody,each time we break i feel horrible,same to him bt the prblm is i decided to let go of him bt i cant coz i love him bt am tired of on-off rltnsh,help me pliiiiz

    1. Pole Georgian, that sounds
      Pole Georgian, that sounds awful!
      Have you tried discussing this with him?
      And do you think there is something you can change? Try to make a plan on how to move forward, but also have a cut-off point, for example, if things don’t improve after having done x, y, and z, you should consider moving on.

  23. hey…I have this guy we met
    hey…I have this guy we met on Facebook …after a period of time we started dating though we av never seen each other…wen I joined campus he started complaining that am not giving him attention he needs…all of a sudden he went silent on me..he stopped picking my calls n replying my msgs..this happened around 2013 Sept….now he is back..he wants me by hook n crook…am wondering wat to tell him Cz weneva I ask him he tells me Ati he was measuring how I love him…is it logic?

    1. Hi Lizzy,

      Hi Lizzy,
      follow your instincts. If you think things will be the same again, be very careful!

  24. Iam in a r/ship with a lady
    Iam in a r/ship with a lady;it’s 15months now.She decided to leave her home coz her husband married another lady and brought her home against her will.
    Together they had 4 children.
    They were in a come-we-stay union for 12 years.Any legal advice please?

    1. Hi Bob,

      Hi Bob,
      is there any paperwork stating that their come-we-stay union is legal? Have they ever been officially married?

  25. My gal frend slept with
    My gal frend slept with another man i don’t know wat to do i forgive her or not help me pliz

    1. Hi James,

      Hi James,
      pole sana! That must really hurt!
      It’s up to you if you want to stay with her or not. Do you think you can forgive her and trust her again? Do you think she could do it again? Is your trust broken beyond repair? Give yourself some time to make a decision. Think it through.
      Good luck!

  26. i hav a boyfrnd whom am
    i hav a boyfrnd whom am dating..the problem is while i make love or he makes me sad i always think of my ex who we dated 4 3 yrs..wat can i do 2 4get him completly if he eva existed in my lyf

    1. Hi irene,

      Hi irene,
      it’s actually quite normal that happens.
      it seems like you are not completely over your ex. Take some time to think about what you want. And what you need out of a relationship. Are you getting it in your current one? If not, it may not be the right one for you. Or maybe you are glorifying your relationship with your ex? Why did you break up? Could he give you everything you needed and more?
      Think it through, take your time!

  27. Been dating a guy fo a year
    Been dating a guy fo a year now .I love him very much but the problem is everytime am nit with him he complains alot.he thinks am sleepng around with guys but am not ,i have given him any reason to doubt me coz have been very open with him.a week ago i went to my home place he accused me of sleeping with another until he threatend to get himself somebody to sleep with.am really pissed and i dnt know if he slept with another person.i tired of silly stress and am thinking i should just move on but then again i love him.what am supposed to do coz i know hes so insecure..

    1. Hi emma,

      Hi emma,
      you need to talk to him. Good relationships are based on honest communication and trust, and it seems you need to work on that. Give it a try! Good luck!

  28. Hi. Is it normal for a guy to
    Hi. Is it normal for a guy to always be too busy to see his girlfriend whom he claims to love..

    1. Blessing,

      Blessing,
      that sounds a bit fishy… Do you have any doubts that he is not honest with you?

  29. Any tym i love a lady and we
    Any tym i love a lady and we start a relationship,she ends up chitting on me with other men,what can be the problem?

    1. Hi Vinny,

      Hi Vinny,
      maybe you are going for the wrong women, are they always the same type?

    2. Is it possible for a guy to…
      Is it possible for a guy to be too busy for someone he claims he loves

      1. Hi there, it really depends…

        Hi there, it really depends with what busy means for a person. However, if a person loves, they will also create time for their partner. If you feel your partner is not creating time for you, to talk to them so you can agree on how to create time for the relationship. Rem,ember, when partners don’t spend time together they end up growing apart which may lead to a break up. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  30. I have a lady whom i love
    I have a lady whom i love alot but she has a bf and i really need her for me,sometyms she sound gud to me but other tym she just tell me that she loves his bf,what should i do?

    1. Eddy,

      Eddy,
      chances are low that she will leave her boyfriend for you. So you might be best off trying to get over her.

  31. it’s not à cmmnt , but à
    it’s not à cmmnt , but à request i have à lady whom she had dériver à kid 4me but from day 1 had never loved her, how can i do? Then at thé same tyme there is other lady whom lyke 6months we’re dating am very comftble with she s there 4me i mean she mean evryting 2 me but i fear coz’ i knw she has someone there plizz advise me how 2t doo thank u in advancee

    1. Izaal,

      Izaal,
      sorry, we really can’t help you make a decision. You have to figure out what you want and who you want to be with. In case you decide against the first one, you need to remember that, even if you leave her, you are still responsible for the child.
      Have a look here, it might help you: http://lovematters.co.ke/news/it-was-just-one-mistake

  32. I fall in love wit a girl bt
    I fall in love wit a girl bt after 1 of yr relan she drops me.Frm then ma lyf hv nt b easy especially wen her image comes to my memory,wat can i do?

  33. plz i produce alot of water
    plz i produce alot of water during sex n my boyfriend has started complaing what i can be the couse

    1. Lucy,

      Lucy,
      congratulations! Being very wet is a really good sign, it means you are very aroused and your chances of getting hurt during intercourse are very low.
      As for your boyfriend, he needs to understand that this is a sign of him doing things right- so instead of complaining, he needs to be happy!

  34. hae i av thz lady i luv so
    hae i av thz lady i luv so much we prmsd each atha that wen she finishes high school we wil get married n i waited kz i luv her,bt since she finished high school she has told me to wait fo her to finish college then we wil get married,is she criuz,do i wait for her again or do i move on?

    1. Hey Rey,

      Hey Rey,
      have you shared this feelings you have with her? Have you told her it makes you feel insecure?
      Also, keep in mind that education is really important for women. She might not mind you taking care of her, but it’s always a good idea to finish your education before getting married.
      And, if she has just finished high school, she is still pretty young. She might not be fully ready for marriage yet.
      So don’t give up on her yet, but do discuss it with her and make your decision based on that.

  35. I was once married but now am
    I was once married but now am singie mother with one kid.Am dating a married guy.when we r 2gether he treat me nicely.but some time when we r to meet he refuses to come and after waiting along time ,he can’t take my cals but he only affords to text
    and say am with my wife seriously.l iove him very much .i dont want to be married all i want someone for sex and who can treat me well.Now is one month no cals no anything

    1. Mary,

      Mary,
      pole sana. To be honest, it does sound like he is using you. You might be better off ending this, before you get too hurt.

  36. lovely story I like it so
    lovely story I like it so high

  37. I like best nd You have been
    I like best nd You have been the most important things to do with the help of a new one. It has been the best way for me. The only thing that is not a problem with the same time as well as other than a few of my life and I am going out to the right place to live in the future .The best way to get the job done with a lot of fun.

  38. adice on how i can fimd the
    adice on how i can fimd the true love

    1. Aww, Kevin, we would love to
      Aww, Kevin, we would love to be able to tell you, but we can only give you a few pointers. Only time can tell if it’s true love.
      Try to find someone who you feel comfortable with, who has at least some similar interests, and a similar approach to life and love. Spend time together before starting a relationship, be honest and open, and build trust.
      Good luck!

  39. I Want Be Part Of This Group
    I Want Be Part Of This Group,because I Always Have Problems With My Fancy

    1. Have you like us on Facebook
      Have you like us on Facebook yet?

  40. Wooow i love this advices for
    Wooow i love this advices for sure…

    1. That’s great, Fiona!
      That’s great, Fiona!

  41. I have com to know that long
    I have com to know that long distance relationship is the best

    1. Great that it works for you,
      Great that it works for you, Bev!

  42. am in love with a man,,he was
    am in love with a man,,he was married with two kids..they part ways with his wife one year ago now here i am he’s planning to marry me nd am also ready for him..will this work or we juz wasting tym nampenda zaidi

    1. Why do you think it won’t
      Why do you think it won’t work, Wairimu? Because he was married before? That doesn’t mean he isn’t capable of loving someone else, does it?

  43. we have dated for one month
    we have dated for one month with my lover and he wants us to bond using sex since we are going to different places and for a long,,,he is scared of losing me but i dont want to have sex this early in relationship,,,what do i do?

    1. Cutiez,

      Cutiez,
      you have to talk to him about it. One month is a short time to be dating, so if you need more time, that’s totally okay. But talk to him- explain that you are not ready and that this doesn’t mean you don’t care about him.

  44. hi love matters,i hv bn in a
    hi love matters,i hv bn in a relationship wth ths guy 4 lyk 2years now,i found out that he was cheating and we broke up,i had started moving on wthout hm despite all the love that was there,after like a month of being away 4rm hm he suddenly texted nd started giving me lots of apologies saying that he cudnt take it any longer and that he still loved me i resisted at first and it went on 4 lyk 2 weeks so i just forgave him,now the problem is while we had broken up he met samwan else

    1. Melanie,

      Melanie,
      I would suggest sitting down with him and having an honest conversation. Talk about what happened and how both of you want to take it forward.

  45. Hi,l have aman friend for
    Hi,l have aman friend for over 8yrs now. He gives support to me and sms me at night and midnights. We break up for few Yeats but now 2yrs back. I have no kids to him neither with other guys. Im so faithfull to him and promised to Settle me ahome somewhere. But he hucked my email account and found that i have love chats online to another man. He is now acting AS he withdraws from me. Though we have adistance relationship.Nairobi and kakamega.
    Pls hell.

    1. Edu,

      Edu,
      have you talked to him since?
      It’s understandable that he is upset, but then, you have reason to be upset, too.
      Talk about it, figure out if and how you can get over it.

  46. I hv somobody’ wife she luvs
    I hv somobody’ wife she luvs me very mac what can I do?

    1. Dougy,

      Dougy,
      it’s never good to be part of a love triangle.
      Have you thought about what you really want? And what does she want?

  47. I am in love with a girl and
    I am in love with a girl and we have promise to marry each other but our parents insist that itz impossible since we share one ancestry,thiz hurts me dearly ,advice plz

  48. I have this guy who has been
    I have this guy who has been my crush for 2 years now…we’ve never really met cz he went overseas to work…we’ve been keeping in touch,he’s tells me he’s single..I know he’s attracted to me too but he told me we should meet first then get to know each other well first before we can date,he’s a nice guy….he calls me these sweet names,we chat everyday…is it possible for us to have a relationship cz I’d really love that…he’s a Muslim and I’m a Christian

    1. Brenda,

      Brenda,
      if both of you think you can have a relationship, go for it, give it a try!

  49. Hi beautiful healper,

    Hi beautiful healper,
    i got an issue i don’t know what to call it .there is this guy we have been together he always looking for romance and promised not to ask for sex .but he doesn’t call maybe he calls once after 2 weeks to say can we meet and he now stopped meeting saying that i need to study for my finals .he is saying we will be back together after that i think i love him do you think he loves me too cause he says so but i don’t get it ..thanks

    1. Jackie,

      Jackie,
      have you ever talked to him about this and told him that you find his behavior odd?

  50. Hi there.,

    Hi there.,
    i have this issue that i had a friend i loved her but i feared to tell because she was my best friend.Now it happened that she told my friend(sam) that she loves me but i pretend not to note,then when i approached her later she rejected me. So what should i do and i love her very much??

    1. Hi Peter, it seems both of
      Hi Peter, it seems both of you are playing mind games with each other. You both want the same thing but are not sure how to go about it. She just might be playing hard to get. If she genuinely loves you as your friend said, all you need to do is pursue her but don’t be too aggressive as you might scare her off. I hope it all works out.

  51. I was in a male male female
    I was in a male male female three some with a freind. He has a really huge dick and she enjoyed him much more than me. Really moaned for him and begged for more of him. Now i have an enferiority complex. How do you please a woman when you hava small dick?

  52. I thank you for this
    I thank you for this information keep on telling us more about love

    1. You are welcome. We will try
      You are welcome. We will try our best to give you as much as possible.

  53. Am regreting why am in this r
    Am regreting why am in this r/shp, evry now and then break ups occur, its very expensive and needs much Communication, when i dnt communcte to her, i just feel stressd up vry much. .

    1. Hi Wasonga, what are the
      Hi Wasonga, what are the reasons holding you back from good communication with your partner?

  54. Hi, am married but have been
    Hi, am married but have been seeing a lady who is a single mum of two very lovely girls for over a year now. She’s just recently told me that it can’t work because am married and that she’s not ready to get into a serious relationship right now but I love her very much! What do I do to have her?

    1. Try to love your wife because
      Try to love your wife because why did you married her if you would come and love another woman..!!!it seems you were not inlove with her

      1. Thanks for your input Rashed.
        Thanks for your input Rashed.

    2. Hi Ramo, you need to make a
      Hi Ramo, you need to make a choice about what you want. Do you want to have her as a second wife or do you intend to continue cheating on your wife or do you plan to leave your wife for her. Take time and think what you want and the implications of every decision that you make.

  55. Hey am in a long distance
    Hey am in a long distance relationship for 2yrs away frm each other buh 2 other yrs we were in Nairobi still dating nw those r 4yrs an my guy wants to add 1yr more then he comes back to kenya is there possibility of us to marry each other buh we stil love each other so communication huwa juu advice me

    1. Hey Ruck,

      Hey Ruck,

      that’s a difficult question to answer. But if you have a good relationship and good communication it sounds like you are on the right path.

  56. How can I, control my
    How can I, control my feelings,if its long distance love.

    1. Hi Doreen,

      Hi Doreen,

      what kind of feelings are you referring to?

  57. I have a friend of mine
    I have a friend of mine called Raymond I had known for 2 year but later as we kept talking we started feeling each other after a period of time we had sex for the first time bt after that day we continued having it whenever we felt like, hmmmm the guy had a girlfriend n I also had a boyfriend but just because I had started feeling Raymond too much I broke up with my guy….. Am now stuck some where and I need your help because Raymond blocked me on Facebook that his girlfriend told her to block me but we what’s app, Raymond says he loves me and I love him too but he has a girlfriend what should I do because could he be just using me…. I’ve tried letting him go but I’ve failed he is always the first person to call each morning, he care, he gives me everything I want it’s like we are friends with benefits but I can’t do it any more am hurting my self by continuing with this

  58. Hi….. I met a guy 3 months
    Hi….. I met a guy 3 months ago n I really love him n he loves me too the problem is that he wants Romance n promised he would never demand for sex bt im not comfortable with that….I tried talking to him abt that bt he said I don’t care about him..he told me the relationship is over bt after some days he called n told me that he never meant it n that he still loves mh n that he got most of the influence from his friends bt unfortunately we don’t talk like we used to we don’t see each other n I feel he has been ignoring me because he doesn’t reply my messages….his friend tells me that he still loves bt Im afraid he doesn’t anymore…I’ve tried to talk to him bt I don’t have the courage to call him or text kz I fear he might not want to see me or talk to me……please help kz I still love him

    1. Hi Cate,

      Hi Cate,

      That is a difficult question to answer. But all you have to do is take time and think about the events that have happened and decide how they make you feel and what you think about them.

      Take time to decide what you feel is right by you and then make a choice on the way forward in that relationship.

  59. Hi,I am in love with a
    Hi,I am in love with a married guy from within my vicinity,we have shared alot and am contented in him,he loves me and I do also love him,we enjoy and make time together but the problem is that we sometimes do things restrictly due to his wife getting to know about us,am afraid of this whole thing but I also don’t want to lose him,what do I do,should I leave him or still hold on for second marriage?is it fair?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,

      That is a good question that you have asked is it fair? What do you feel about it?

      Are you willing to become a second wife and does he love you enough to make it legal and official?

      These are just some of the questions you need o be asking yourself before you decide on your next move.

  60. I was in a relationship seven
    I was in a relationship seven months ago,after gettn pregnant he broke up with me claiming that he was nt ready for it..he even says he got a wife I’m confused he says he loves me and abt the baby he does not want to hear abt it..after two months of brkup he is there asking abt the kid and I’m already done with him. What should I do?

    1. Jully,

      Jully,

      If you have moved on then you should think about making your life better.

      If he wants to take care of the child its up to you to decide if you will let him.

      Its good you learn how to separate your relationship from that of him and the child.

      Unless you are willing to become a second wife then you need to concentrate on your life.

    2. It seems he still cares about
      It seems he still cares about you, and now even he has learned too live the child.so in my opinion you should give him a second chance

      1. Thanks for the support and
        Thanks for the support and for giving your input Silas.

  61. hi,l have agirl bt i see lyk
    hi,l have agirl bt i see lyk she cheating on me ed i see lyk he dn,t love me bt she tel me dat she love me…wat kan l do plz help meeeee

  62. Are distance relationship the
    Are distance relationship the best?

  63. plz me n dis guy luv each oda
    plz me n dis guy luv each oda very well n he kips saying he loves mhe m 17 he is 21 plz can it lead to marriage also he wants to know if m a Virgin oda gals r jealous of mhe and dey now hates mhe cos m dating him plz should I tell him am a virgin

    1. Hi Blessing,

      Hi Blessing,

      Relationships are about a lot of things and it takes a lot of work to make a relationship work.

      You are still young and have time to learn about this time.

      Learn as much as you can about each other and enjoy each others company and grow as a couple and hopefully when both of you are ready you can discuss about marriage.

      Being a virgin is a good thing and you should decide whether that’s something you want tot share with him or not depending on what you would like to achieve from your relationship.

  64. Hi my boyfriend doesn’t like
    Hi my boyfriend doesn’t like saying I love you, I complained about it the first time he didn’t change, I complained the second time and even accused him that all he wants from me is sex, he said he doesn’t believe in saying that he believes in proving it which he isn’t even proving, am Contemplating on breaking up but am confused

  65. I broke up wid my guy sum
    I broke up wid my guy sum months ago, bcos he can’t assist me in anywayand he’s demanding wat I can’t give him yet dats d reason I decided to quit d relationship. he has apologise dat he wants us to come back dat he will change nd wait till am ready but am nt convinced… anytime I think he has gone and finally decided to move on, he will appear again nd I myself am scared to fall in love again cos I dearly loved him. oda guys are coming around me but I just want dem as friends but whn we became friends they gradually begin to fall in love wid me….but I don’t feel dat way for dem and it’s making it look as if am being blunt nd don’t have heart…pls wats ur advise on dis cos right now am kind of confuse nd I don’t want to do anything dat will make us enemies in future.

  66. Hi been in this relationship
    Hi been in this relationship for five yes now ,been blessed with one baby boy and now pregnant for our second child who is also a son. We have been having problems with my hubby since i lost my job that he even decided to call it quotes and leave me us.he didn’t carry all his staff so at times he comes to pick a few and goes. He’s been cheating on me for the last four yes now sleeping out and even charting with women till very late we have talked till we involed our parents from both sides but everything seem to get worse kindly advice.

    1. If you know your partner well
      If you know your partner well and have had a close, long-term relationship, you can often tell when something’s not right. You might notice that they’ve begun spending a lot more time at work, they have less time for you and your family, start taking calls in private, and seem less committed to doing things with you. Maybe they’re paying attention to their looks, and they appear confused and detached. When you ask them if anything’s wrong, they shrug off your question.

      Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.

      But don’t blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.

      Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.

  67. People need to understand
    People need to understand that we are in a different era and stop complaining about everything.

    1. Thanks for your input Doc.
      Thanks for your input Doc.

  68. Thanks to you I have learnt a
    Thanks to you I have learnt a lot from this n its my hope that the site should be shared on all social Media for our young people to read

    1. Thanks kelvin,

      Thanks kelvin,
      We are on Facebook, twitter and Instragram.

  69. Pls Am Been Dating A Guy 4
    Pls Am Been Dating A Guy 4 3yrs I Love Him Dearly Bt He Find It Hard To Cal Me Bt Normal Cal Anoda Gals Each Time I Complain He Gt Angry Wit Me Nd We Ave Been 2geda 4 3yrs Wht Can I Do

  70. Thanks yu r really inspiring…
    Thanks yu r really inspiring n guifing

  71. My husband fell in love with…
    My husband fell in love with his
    workmate,it made me hate him alot that i even lost sexual feelings for him.He’s now back to me coz the workmate was transferred but I don’t feel him at all.What can I do??

    1. (No subject)
      Hello Ritah,

      I can imagine the betrayal you must have felt. It is however human nature to be attracted to another person other than your committed partner for various reasons. What makes the difference is if a person chooses to act on those feelings. You didn’t say if he cheated… Whatever happened you need to decide if you are going to forgive him or not, this will determine how your relationship will proceed from here. Can you trust him like you did before? Think about this and make a decision on how to proceed. we wish you well.

  72. Hello am Eve ,…
    Hello am Eve ,
    Have been in a close relationship with this guy for almost 2 years but he doesnot talk about his feelings towards me but I just see by his actions that he is into me…Does he really love me or he’s just scared of something!?

    1. (No subject)
      Hi,

      It has been said that actions speak louder than words but sometimes actions maybe misleading. You may need to try and find out from him what his actions mean. Let him tell you exactly how he feels toward you this way there will be not confusion. Two years is enough time for one to know exactly how they feel toward a person.

  73. Am in a r/shp wit a guy…
    Am in a r/shp wit a guy going to lik 18mnt..nd dat was after i finish frm school..i accept to kip a date wit him..cos I love a distance rlsh…so later fall in love wit him after finishing my first degree..he told me his past and I did too.. told him no sex till marriage nyt..now processing for anoda school…can I dressed up in front of him weneva he came to pay a Visit…am confused

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Bamise,

      Men are visually aroused, they aroused by what they see. Dressing up infront of him will only arouse him which may lead to you having sex before that wedding night. You may need to think about how to manage his visits so that you don’t end up having sex when you are unprepared, remember there is the risk of getting pregnant.

  74. Hi how are you doing
    Hi how are you doing

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Linet,

      What can we do for you today?

  75. Hi am married and my husband…
    Hi am married and my husband has never cheated on me but he has soo many girlfriendswhom are just friends till he at times flirts with more oftenly with them..This makes me uncomfortable even though i tell him about it he keeps on doing it does it mean he doesnt love me anymore

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Marion,

      This can be frustrating especially if you have talked about it. I can’t tell you if he stopped loving you, but maybe you need to be let him know what this behavior is doing to your relationship and more importantly how it makes you feel. Perhaps if recognizes that this behavior is putting his relationship at a risk he will take steps to change this. We wish you well. Check out the following articles for more information:-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner
      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/the-four-types-of-cheating

  76. Hi ifound my bf with another…
    Hi ifound my bf with another girl when I ask hm he said ni universt mate bt she Cal her swt, so ineed advice

    1. There seems to be a conflict…
      There seems to be a conflict in what he told you and what you observed. What can you here is to let your partner k ow what you observed and have let you know what kind of relationship he has with the other lady to the point she is ok referring to him as sweetie perhaps even in your presence after which you can make a decision on how to proceed. Check out the following article for more information;-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating

  77. I met a lady two weeks back…
    I met a lady two weeks back and I asked her if its possible to be in a relationship with her, and accepted, now after that two weeks when I text her she don’t reply and when I call her, sometimes she answers sometimes she ignores…. It is a working relationship or its because we haven’t move far??

    1. Hi John,…
      Hi John,

      Communication is essential toward building a strong relationship especially at this very early stage of your relationship.

      Have you asked her what makes her no to respond you to your texts and some of your calls? Talk with her about this so you can find a way forward, it may just be an issue with her schedule and when you call. Once you get to know you can make a decision on how to proceed. It may also help to talk about your expectations in the relationship. All the best.

  78. In which way can a Man stay…
    In which way can a Man stay away from Masturbation or can do away with that.And is it good to do that when your partner is not well satisfying you.

    1. People in relationships also…
      People in relationships also do masturbate and there is no medical effect associated with masturbation. It can be a challenge if a person overdoes this or when one replaces intimacy with their partner with masturbation. What’s important is why do you want to stop? I imagine that your partner is not unwell always. But you can begin by avoiding triggers that lead to this and filling up your leisure time with other productive activities. Check out the following articles for more information:-

      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/masturbation-myths-busted
      https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/is-masturbation-cheating

  79. Am married and really love…
    Am married and really love my husband but recently I got a man friend whom I feel so close to and open to. He listens to me when I talk and advices me more. We talk on phone frequently and I feel good after talking to him. Do you think I can develop love for him and should I stop this relationship?

    1. Chenille, You seem to be…
      Chenille, You seem to be developing feelings toward this man friend already, this is why it feels good after you have talked, you feel very close to him and you talk frequently. You have to think about what it is you are missing or lacking from your marriage which is what you are getting from this relationship. This person listens, gives you advice and seems to be always there for you. This is likely to affect your marriage. You have to think about what is important to you, what relationship do you wish to keep and then choose that. While you can have man friend it is important to have boundaries and a clear definition of what the relationship is or about so that when this changes you are able to stop it so you can safe guard what you believe is important to you. We wish you well.

  80. I was in relationship where…
    I was in relationship where we loved each so much until it reached a point we had sex with him but later after he went back to work.He posted a photo of another gal on his Facebook account and he said that he going to marry her but he says that he loves me and want to stay with me.can I trust him anymore

    1. Hi Damnel,…
      Hi Damnel,

      Your partner seems to have chosen another person for a long term commitment, he even shared this publicly. Perhaps, he needs to share with you what this meant. It maybe challenging for you to have a relationship with him committed to another person. Talk about this and then decide how to proceed.

  81. Hy..I had a gal whom we…
    Hy..I had a gal whom we loved each other 4now 4years bt lately av found her cheating on me with another guy whom they even sleep together,,bt wat annoys me she still insists me back by insisting that it was a mistake..now wat do I do am just fed with love

    1. Hi Motchez, It does hurt…
      Hi Motchez, It does hurt when a partner cheats on you and things may not be the same after one partner cheats. You need to think about whether you believe her, whether you are willing to forgive her and whether you can trust her like you did before. If you dont feel you can do these things it is time to break up. Think about it and make an informed choice. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  82. Am in a r/ship.tis guy…
    Am in a r/ship.tis guy promises to marry me when the tym comes but for sure I don’t understand him.there is no communication btn us…am the one who normally calls .his family do ask me what our plans since the guy is much older.he can not invite me to his house…but once I go to visit him he gives me promises about gud marriage a head.plz help me what can I do

    1. Hi Bonnah, Have you shared…
      Hi Bonnah, Have you shared these concerns with your partner? Communication is essential for a relationship to work well. While promises are great, he may need to also let you know when he hopes to move things forward. Talk to your partner and let him know what your expectations are, also have him let you know what his palns and expectations are so that together you can agree on how to proceed. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  83. Hai i hv women whom i call m…
    Hai i hv women whom i call m wife but i hv not married her but we hv produced two children but her parents most spaceilly the father they don’t wants us to get married but i promised when i was conning her when u agree to be wi m i will marry he what should to fuilfill my promise

    1. Hello Solo, Do you know why…
      Hello Solo, Do you know why the parents don’t want you to marry their daughter? You may want to begin by finding out what their reasons are and perhaps finding a way to address those reasons. You can also approach a close friend or relative to the parents to help you talk to them. Lastly, there are children involved who will likely hurt if the relationship breaks for this reason, the two of you as parents need to make a decision about your relationship and also in the best interest of your children.

  84. am in a rshp where by our…
    am in a rshp where by our rshp is just thru the 4n no actions bt kips on telling mh hw much he loves plz advice mh

    1. Hi Joy, Are you in a long…
      Hi Joy, Are you in a long distant relationship? Have you shared your expectations with him? Aside from taking spending time together is important toward growing and making the relationship stronger. Talk to him, let him know what your expectations are so you can both agree how to proceed together.

  85. Hi im dating this guy for…
    Hi im dating this guy for 6months i lv him alot n dnt wanna loose him.bt problem is tht his staying with sum1 and dnt knw hw to get out of that relationship as his nt happy n dnt hv feelings for tht woman anymre n thy hv a kid 2geda.do u think he will make a decision soon abt who he really want n whom make him happy?wht should i do?

    1. Hi, He is the only one that…
      Hi, He is the only one that make this decision. If he has no yet made made it, it’s difficult to tell if and when he will. Perhaps you need to share with him your concerns and your fears about your relationship with him. Talk about what is its future and when this will be.

  86. Im in a serious relationship…
    Im in a serious relationship with my partner n we love each ada alot hw cn i keep our relationship on fire?n him happier then nw?

    1. Hey Concerned Baby, It is a…
      Hey Concerned Baby, It is a good thing that you love each other, alot. Talk to your partner about your expectations in the relationship and have him also tell you what he expects in the relationship. It is also essential to have honest and open conversation in your relationship, this way you can talk about anything, including those difficult topics and find a solution without hurting each other or the relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/marriage/married-life/maintaining-happy-relationships

  87. Helo admin im 35yrs old…
    Helo admin im 35yrs old staying with my baby mama,bt early this year iv met someone tht i truly love and admire cant go a day without thinking of her.im no longer hv feelings for baby mama i even spend more time even slp ova @my new girlfriends place..problm is i dnt knw hw to get out of relationship with baby mama because she havent give me reason to b angry.sometimes i just think of packng my stuff n go stay with my new gf.i love my new gf alot n dnt wana lose her she meet all d qualities tht i was looking for in a woman.wht should i do plz help.

    1. Hello Sanele, You need to be…
      Hello Sanele, You need to be honest with your baby Mama about what is going on and the fact that you no longer have feelings for her. Waiting for to give you a reason to break up may not happen soon, meanwhile you are cheating on her. I know this is a difficult conversation but you can’t have them both. You need to be honest, clear but not cruel with the baby mama and also think about how you will participate in raising your child. Check out these articles;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  88. How i wish i could have this…
    How i wish i could have this kinda of girl who could wait till marriage without asking for a sex, such a pity that love hurt this much.

    1. Ben, we hope you meet the…
      Ben, we hope you meet the kind of person you desire. We wish you well.

  89. This is very nice post. It’s…
    This is very nice post. It’s also very helpful for every person. i have been searching this types of post. some days ago i read an article about relationship, but this post is better then post.

  90. Thank you Saon for the…
    Thank you Saon for the feedback and am glad you like the article. Keep reading.

  91. Know dat friends are friends
    Know dat friends are friends

    1. Thank you for your…
      Thank you for your contribution Sowedi.

  92. Interesting post. Ill be…
    Interesting post. Ill be sticking around to hear more from you guys. Thanks!

    1. Glad you like the article…

      Glad you like the article. Keep reading. 

  93. Thanks for giving these…
    Thanks for giving these useful, healthy, educational and as well as unique guidance on your topic.

    1. Thank you for the feedback…

      Thank you for the feedback. You are welcome back for more.

  94. Ohh very much thanks admin…
    Ohh very much thanks admin

  95. You should really moderate…
    You should really moderate the remarks on this page

    1. Hello Belstaff, all comments…

      Hello Belstaff, all comments are moderated. Keep reading our articles. 

  96. There is a guy in Facebook…
    There is a guy in Facebook that’s always says that’s he loves me and even me hve started falling in love do you think this relationship can work?because he promise to come back and see me next year

    1. People meet in different of…

      People meet in different of place, where relationships also begin and can go on to build strong relationships. There is nothing wrong with you exploring this now that you both have feelings for each other. As you plan to meet for the first time, be sure to pick a time and place that you are comfortable with and you can also consider bringing a friend along to this first date. It is possible for you to have met on Facebook and go ahead to have a great relationship. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/should-you-marry-someone-you-met-on-facebook

    1. We appreciate your…

      We appreciate your contribution Nassir.

  97. Having sex while in period…
    Having sex while in period does

  98. Having sex while in period…
    Having sex while in period does it have any effect

  99. Hi, I like the article but…
    Hi, I like the article but I have a problem with my relationship. The guy am dating now used to live with a certain girl who is now carrying her baby but the guy doesn’t want to break with me claiming that he loves me more than her, but on my side I want to quit. Can you help me with this though I love the guy and we promised each other marriage. Help please??

    1. Hi Beckie, there is nothing…

      Hi Beckie, there is nothing wrong with him being with you and you can still have a great relationship. It just means that he has a child with his ex and he will need to discuss and agree on how he participates in raising their child. Also, he needs to be clear with her about the nature of their relationship moving forward. This doesn’t have to affect your relationship especially now that you are committed to each other. 

  100. We HV one kid with mie lover…
    We HV one kid with mie lover,but the guy is forth year student in university ,he ussualy suggest am his wife,bt the guy the time akona pesa uwa anakuwa different ,,nikimwitisha pesa ya matumizi yatoi kila tym usema hana ,akiwa om kutuma pesa ni gumu akirudi chuo kutuma kidogo kitu,memvilia kwa muda mrefu lkn nikaamua kumliza ameamua nn kwan juu atumi pesa ya matumizi ya mtoi ,akaniuliza kaa uwa namlipia fee,pia akanijibu atamlea mtoi akamaliza chuo ,swali ni ukweli uyu ako serious ama nitafute kwingine juu mi sina love na mwingne

    1. Hi Florence, siwezi…

      Hi Florence, siwezi kukuambia kama yuko serious but it is important for you decide whether you want to wait for him to finish school before he can participate in the raising of your child. Also, do you both want to be together or you want to be together for the sake of the child you have together? If you want to be together, take time and talk with your partner about what this means and how to go about it especially now that he still has to complete school. All the best. 

  101. I have a girlfriend we met…
    I have a girlfriend we met in a hotel and start a relashionship.we have now 2 years since then when I call she receive my calls and also we do charting to each other telling that she loves me each and evry day now when it comes dating she always been postponing we have met only once now, how can I trust her? or do i have to left

    1. Hi Jackson, do you live in…

      Hi Jackson, do you live in the same town? Have you talked to her about this? It is important that you raise this concern with her so she is aware before deciding to breakup. Find a good time and talk about this, let her know the importance of spending time together which helps to make your relationship strong. If she is till unwilling to spend time with you after this conversation, it maybe time to break up. Have a loom at the following articles;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/being-in-a-relationship

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  102. My lover has left me without…
    My lover has left me without any problem ed l heard he has another one what should do being in relationships for 1 yr

    1. Hi Christine, so sorry about…

      Hi Christine, so sorry about this but he has left and even moved on by starting another relationship with someone else. Have you reached out to him to find out what all this means? He clearly doesn’t want to be with you. This is tough but you have no control over the choices of another person, this was not your fault. All you can do now is to also move. Have a look at this article with tips on how to cope with a break up;-  https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up We wish you all the best.

  103. Can you have feelings for…
    Can you have feelings for more than one lady…

    1. Hey Dan, yes you can be…

      Hey Dan, yes you can be attracted to two different ladies but you have to take time and think about who you really want to be with between the two. It helps to think about what one wants in a partner and then choosing between the two ladies the one who best represents who they want to be with. Also, that you are attracted to a person does not mean you want to be with them or that the feelings will last. Love will last, while just an attraction usually fades away quickly. Check this out;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/is-it-love

  104. I was in love with a girl…
    I was in love with a girl whom we stayed together with,, i real loved her so much and we promised to wait for each other and marry after our campus education,then one day she told me she wanted a break to focus on her studies, because i cared for her needs i allowed it to have a break, lately i usually see her with a guy we’re staying with at the plot and she is not talking to me nicely,,, of late she slept out this weekend and am like the world is not the best place, advice please

    1. Hey Jayden, we are so sorry…

      Hey Jayden, we are so sorry about what’s happening in your relationship. If you are still living together with your girlfriend, it is important you address what is going on and what you have observed. You need to know if she is interested in being with you or not. This way you will be able to make a decision on how to proceed. If she is no longer interested you will need to accept this and move on, if she’s still wants to be with you, you will both have to agree on how to proceed moving forward. We wish you all the best. Have a look at the following articles for more information;-

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/how-can-i-know-my-partner-is-cheating-on-me

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  105. I agree, thanks for posting…
    I agree, thanks for posting this..

    1. Thank you for your…

      Thank you for your contribution Brian.

  106. I have a question,I’m 20 yes…
    I have a question,I’m 20 yes old and my niece is 17.We are both attracted to each other.When we are alone she keeps on asking when I’m I going to say it because she is waiting for it.Yesterday she kissed me and said that she cares about me,please help.

    1. Dear Brian, your question…

      Dear Brian, your question has been responded to. Check your email. Keep reading our articles for more. 

  107. We have dated for one month…
    We have dated for one month with my lover and he wants us to bond using sex since we are going to different places and for a longtime he is scared of losing me but I dont want to have sex this early in relationship… what do I do?

    1. Hi Dory, your lover’s…

      Hi Dory, your lover’s concern is that he may loose you and sex will not address this fear. He has a legitimate concern of what will happen to your relationship when you start living away from each other. It is important that you talk about whether or not you willing to get into a long distance relationship. This is important since your relationship will change greatly if you choose to go ahead with the long distance relationship. Lastly, if you are not ready to have sex be honest with him, let him know you are not ready. You should only have sex if you feel you are with the right person and you feel it is the right time. Remember to use protection to prevent unplanned pregnancies if you do choose to have sex. Check out the following articles for additional information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/how-soon-is-too-soon

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships

    1. Hi Marto, Love is an intense…

      Hi Marto, Love is an intense feeling of deep affection towards another person. Love is warm, it is kind and patient. Love is forgiving. Love is a feeling of a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. Check these articles for more information on what love is;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/a-simple-question-with-infinite-answers

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/does-true-love-still-exist

  108. Can I prove that my lover is…
    Can I prove that my lover is with me but I’m far

    1. Hi Dorcas, relationships are…

      Hi Dorcas, relationships are build on trust especially when partners are in a long distance relationship and physically apart for long periods of time. If you feel there are any reasons that may make you not to trust that your partner is faithful to you, talk a bout with him so that together you can address the issues. Have a look at the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  109. Plz. There is this guy that…
    Plz. There is this guy that wants to marry me. I love him but I don’t know if he feels the same way. He calls once in a while but gets angry easily, if he is offend him, he won’t tell me my offense rather he tells his sister to ask me why i did that. Plz is it right for him to act that way and what should I do. I have apologized but he stopped calling to know how am doing.

    1. Hi Jane, have you talked…

      Hi Jane, have you talked with him about these issues? This maybe the right place to begin, communicating with each other frequently and also being open to each other especially when one feels there is something wrong in the relationship. It is only by communication with each other that you will be able to address the issues you have. Do find a good time and talk with your partner about your concerns to get to know what could be going and for you to also agree on how to proceed. Check out this articles for additional tips;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  110. I have feelings for this guy…
    I have feelings for this guy but I don’t know if he always have feelings for me,what should I do

    1. Hi Blair, you could ask them…

      Hi Blair, you could ask them how they feel toward you. There is no way to know for sure how he feels toward you other than asking him. It is important to remember that they may feel the same ways you or  and it is important to respect their choice. We wish you well. 

  111. How do I know who truly love…
    How do I know who truly love me. Men that I love shows little interest on me. But those that shows more interest on me I don’t like them that much. How do I know my true life partner? .

    1. Hi Maryann, it appears clear…

      Hi Maryann, it appears clear to you who loves you and who doesn’t, those you love and those you don’t like as much, you can only be with a person who wants to be with you. In the same way you will know when you meet the one. Having said that, not all relationships will last a life time. At times you can do your best a relationship will still not work, all you have to do when this happens is to move on. Lastly, just because one relationship didn’t work doesn’t mean the same will happen for the next one. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  112. please am in a r/ship with a…
    please am in a r/ship with a guy though he is committed but am not b/cos i don’t want to marry him what do i do to leave him

    1. Hi, if you want different…

      Hi, if you want different things in the relationship and there is no way to find an acceptable middle ground for both of you, breaking up maybe the option so that you don’t lead him on for a long time only to break up with him later. Have a look at the following article;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  113. We spent 4years in distance…
    We spent 4years in distance relationship,,4Times sexs in 4years,we are calling chartting ,time to get married ,find out that she is pregnant,with unknown person,an I paused,after putting to birth,the baby die,now am confused,to continue,or to forget,pls advice me,

    1. Hello Kenule, if she was…

      Hello Kenule, if she was pregnant with another persons child it means at some point she cheated on you. What you need to think about is whether you are willing to  forgive her and trust her again. Also, does she want to get back with you after all this. This is a decision only you can make so take sometime and think about these issues and then make an informed decision. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated 

  114. I am in a very difficult…
    I am in a very difficult situation. I started dating a girl and then she came to my house a number of times we ad fun. One weekend as usual she came but she with many clothes I thought se was traveling somewhere I didn’t know she ad come to live with me. I have waited for her to leave but she is not. It not that I don’t love her but we had just dated for about 4 months. Now we are like married but I was not ready for this commitment. I want her to leave but I don’t want to break up wit her. She is still in college, please help me how to deal with this situation.

    1. Hi Juma, this must be…

      Hi Juma, this must be difficult. The best way to approach this is to be honest about your discomfort with this situation. Let her know how you feel about her including the fact that you wanted to grow the relationship before getting married or moving in with each other. Since this is something you had not discussed, find a good time and express your concern about where your relationship is and what you want moving forward. If you still love her, let her know that you are not breaking up. Expect that she may not be happy about this decision but be clear about what you want and firm. All the best.

  115. Hey i hv my bf nd he has…
    Hey i hv my bf nd he has many gal who are hiz friends nd bt he says am the special gal in his life so is there any possibility that he might cheat me with his friends? help me coz am afraid

    1. Hey Amelina, it is difficult…

      Hey Amelina, it is difficult to predict the future, however if you have concerns about how your boyfriend is relating with other girls in his life, do talk to him about this. Let him know about your concerns according to what you may have observed. Find a good time to have this conversation with your partner, remember not to accuse him of cheating but rather to raise your concern about how he relates to his female friend. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  116. THERE IS A BOY FRIEND OF MY…
    THERE IS A BOY FRIEND OF MY WHO USUALLY QUARREL WITH ME ALL D TIME, BUT AFTER HE WILL TEL ME DAT HE LOVES ME. WHAT WILL I DO.TO GO OR TO BE

    1. Hi Ify, frequent fights in a…

      Hi Ify, frequent fights in a relationships may indicated deep seated dissatisfaction in a relationship. It is important that you and your partner talk about what could be causing the dissatisfaction in your relationship and the address the issues to reduce the quarrels. Having said that, it is normal for partners to disagree from time to time, how they choose to resolve the issues is what makes the difference. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/fighting-dos-and-donts

  117. Can I marry my aunt’s…
    Can I marry my aunt’s husband’s step-grandchild? And the relationship between my aunt and my father is, my aunt’s great grandfather and my father’s great grandmother are children of the same parents.

    1. Dear Bry, it is challenging…

      Dear Bry, it is challenging to give a blanket answer on this issues because different cultures will have different rules inline with whom you can marry. Some will not encourage a marital relationship between people who have any family relationship, while others will infact encourage marriage among cousins. I suggest you speak to a senior member of your extended family to see what they think. They should be able to advice you accordingly considering the cultural issues that are likely to arise. All the best.

  118. What if you feel like you…
    What if you feel like you are not accepted

    1. Hey Stella, you can only be…

      Hey Stella, you can only be with a person who wants to be with you. Since you can’t force a person to want to be with you all you can do is to move on. 

  119. I met this guy online, for…
    I met this guy online, for years now we’ve been communicating properly, encouraging each other and supporting each other’s career. But we never meet one on one. After like 6years, he came to Lagos,we met. He likes me and loves him. But the issue there is that he told me he has a girlfriend whom he met at the camp before finishing his youth service this year (2019) and he don’t want to hurt me. Though the girl in question resides in Enugu and both are graduates. I’m still schooling.
    Every time he keeps disturbing to visit him and each time I visit he demands for sex. We later had sex actually but I’m hurt and depressed seeing the way he advertise the girl on WhatsApp and call her in my presence. I’ve tried to let him go but he won’t let me be. Please what should I do.

    1. Hello Mercy, it appears you…

      Hello Mercy, it appears you want or wanted different things from this relationship especially because he was already in another relationship as he had mentioned to you. All he seems to want from you is sex. It is unfortunate that you already had sex, all you can do now is to break it off and move on. Let him know your decision, be sure to be clear and firm. You may have to take more drastic measures to make it difficult for him to reach you which will also help you move on. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  120. being in relationship is it…
    being in relationship is it a crime

    1. Absolutely not Tosin. As…

      Absolutely not Tosin. As long as both partners are mature and what to be in the relationship.

  121. I have a girl friend and…
    I have a girl friend and have spend with him 9 good years bul i have ever sleep with him is that a true love real?????

    1. Hello Dicky, thank you for…

      Hello Dicky, thank you for reaching out. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection towards another person.  Love is warm, it is kind and patient. Love is forgiving. Love is a feeling of a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 

      Check this article for more information on what love is;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/a-simple-question-with-infinite-answers

      If you feel this way about your partner, sex is but one aspect of your relationship, as long as you are both caring, loving, patient and respecting of each other, that is all that matters and sex will come when you both feel it is right. 

  122. I have never felt an…
    I have never felt an attraction to any one before, not even a crush I don’t know if I have a problem or if my standards are too high.

  123. I have learnt something new…
    I have learnt something new and scared it with my girl

  124. Hello sodiq, thank you for…

    Hello sodiq, thank you for your positive feedback and we are glad our information can help 🙂 Stay safe and have a great week ahead!

  125. i have a boyfriend we have…
    i have a boyfriend we have been for years living together with out getting married and we love each other as time goes on he begins to change when I ask him when are we going to see my parents he tell dis year the year will pass another he will say dis year and the year will pass that is what he kept doing now what will do

  126. Hi Joy, thank you for…

    Hi Joy, thank you for reaching out to us and we are sorry you are going through a hard time. When it comes to matters of marriage, it is completely normal for partners to sometimes feel nervous or anxious about it. Keep in mind this is a life-long commitment that you will both be embarking on and though it is definitely exciting, approaching ones parents can be nerve-racking for fear of rejection or misunderstanding. As such, communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well. Furthermore, we are here to help guide you. Go through the following article with your partner https://lovemattersafrica.com/marriage/thinking-about-marriage/meeting-the-parents-dos-and-donts and all the best 🙂 Stay safe Joy and have a wonderful week ahead!

  127. Hello Hilary, thank you so…

    Hello Hilary, thank you so much for getting in touch and we are so glad you got in touch. We publish new articles every week and look forward to your interest.

  128. Just be in love is to try…
    Just be in love is to try and be kind

  129. Thank you for sharing such…

    Thank you for sharing such wonderful words, Anthony! We completely agree!

  130. Hello Berry! Thank you so…

    Hello Berry! Thank you so much for your lovely message and we really appreciate you! Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

  131. i think women can also play…
    i think women can also play away matches

    1. What do you mean Brian?

      What do you mean Brian?

  132. I am in love with this man…
    I am in love with this man but he’s not testifying me in bed we only have sex once a week & that the only time I get to see him what can I do

  133. Question to ask
    My…

    Question to ask
    My girlfriend always refuse to come to me anytime like need her. But like still giving her money for her needs. Please what should I do

    1. Hi Okai, 

      I think it is…

      Hi Okai, 

      It is important that you start by defining your relationship. For instance, let her tell you what she is to you and what you are to her in that relationship and do the same for her. It could be that both of you want different things out of this relationship. On one hand, your girlfriend cannot/should not come to meet you ‘ANYTIME’ you want since she has her own life and plans. You two can always plan when to meet at a time that is possible for both of you. The fact that you are giving her money does not mean that she is readily available for you especially if that was not the agreement from the beginning. It is important that you meet and talk about what each one of you wants out of this relationship and what your expectations are. All the best. 

  134. Hi am Jemimah dating a guy…
    Hi am Jemimah dating a guy who is married we have dated for an year now i love the guy but he sometimes sound as if he is insecure how can i know that our relationship will last

  135. Married and have been in an…
    Married and have been in an open relationship with someone for five years with closeness and romantic expressions bt have never done sex together. Is this thing health.

    1. Hi Tito, 

      It is totally…

      Hi Tito, 

      It is totally okay to have friends outside of marriage but at the same time, you describe this as a relationship meaning you are emotionally cheating on your partner. Cheating is not just about sex, being emotionally attached to someone else other than your partner is cheating as well. Let me not be too quick to make conclusions because to your partner this may not be cheating since no sex is involved. However, you need to be clear about what you want from the open relationship and how this affects your marriage. in the end, it is up to you to make the decision whether the open relationship is a great addition to your intimate relationships or not. 

    1. Hi Mark, 

      Why do you feel…

      Hi Mark, 

      Why do you feel that? We are happy to hear your view and experience and answer any questions you may have. 

    1. Hi Gwanp, 

      What does that…

      Hi Gwanp, 

      What does that mean? Kindly explain. We are happy to engage with you. 

  136. I have a bf, we’ve been…
    I have a bf, we’ve been dating for 4momths now….made love only two times .. it’s now 2months we have not been in contact. The last time we were together… He only calls or texts once a while , The endless calls he usually made before does not. Exist now. Then on his phone’s wallpaper he has a woman’s pic. Should I forget all about him? Because I feel like he has someone who he’s concentrating to.

    1. Hi lady Paulah, 

      First, it…

      Hi lady Paulah, 

      First, it is not unusual for couples to call or text each other less often when the relationship is beyond the honeymoon phase. However, four months seems like a short time for this to have happened. Plus, you two haven’t spoken in two months! That’s alot! Have you tried contacting him? Have you told him that you don’t like that he went quiet? Also, ask him who the lady in the wallpaper is. Do not assume. It could be his sister or cousin. Whatever you do, know that it’s possible he is no longer be interested in the relationship. If this is the case, move on and don’t look back!

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