Two hands on the verge of separation
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

How to break up

If you’re the one who wants to break up with your partner, delivering the message can be tough.

But when your relationship has sunk to unhealthy depths, there might be no option but to call it quits.

Here are some tips to help you:

  1. Do your homework.

    Know the reasons why you’re breaking up, because if your partner isn’t expecting this piece of bad news from you, you’ll end up doing a lot of explaining. So it’s good to go well-prepared. It also gives you an opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and see if a break up is what you really, really want.

  2. Do it in person.

    Do not break up over email, SMS, or telephone, unless the situation demands it. Meeting someone for the last time before the relationship ends can offer a good way of closure, which is psychologically important to move on.

  3. Do it in a place that’s comfortable for your partner.

    A crowded restaurant with a lot of strangers around might be intimidating. Pick a place that makes them feel safe enough to express their emotions.

  4. Be honest.

    Don’t lie to your partner when you’re about to end the relationship. Tell them exactly what you felt was wrong in the relationship. This might be harsh on them but equally important for them to learn. At least they’d know where it all went wrong.

  5. Don’t be cruel.

    Break ups are terrible any way. So don’t go out of your way to make it more hurtful. Remember that you were once in love with this person. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be vindictive and cruel. Try to deliver your truthful words in a nice package.

  6. Don’t be ambiguous.

    Don’t leave your partner in doubt. If you don’t mean it, don’t tell them something like, ‘it’s not working out now, but it might work out another time.’ That would wrongly make them hopeful.

  7. Be prepared for the worst reaction.

    Being dumped is perhaps one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. So don’t be surprised if your partner starts shouting or cries or argues or just storms out on you. Be calm.

  8. Don’t waver.

    Once you’ve made up your mind about breaking up, don’t change it. Your partner might convince you to give it ‘one last chance’ but unless there’s any real reason why you should buy that argument, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns.

    You will find more tips under Breaking up: do’s and don’ts.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (219)

  1. This is an awesome message!
    This is an awesome message!

    1. Thank you for the feedback…
      Thank you for the feedback Stella.

    2. A least I have learn…
      A least I have learn something

      1. Great, we are glad Leonard.
        Great, we are glad Leonard.

        1. It is all right for above…
          It is all right for above comments brother let us know this world

    3. This is nice,atleast it has…
      This is nice,atleast it has taught me something

      1. Hey Magda, we are glad that…

        Hey Magda, we are glad that this was useful.

      2. wow thanks,i learnt alot…
        wow thanks,i learnt alot from it

          1. Thank you for your feedback…

            Thank you for your feedback Anonymous. Happy Easter and stay safe!

      3. Wow, I learn a lot from this…
        Wow, I learn a lot from this insight. Good job.

        1. Thank you so much for your…

          Thank you so much for your feedback Anuoluwapo, please feel free to look through our website to find other articles you could find helpful.

      1. You are welcome Scholar. 

        You are welcome Scholar. 

    4. This is wonderful I love it…
      This is wonderful I love it thanks to love matters I appreciate

      1. You are welcome Peter.

        You are welcome Peter.

    5. I really get some thing from…
      I really get some thing from dis

      1. Hello Felicia, thank you so…

        Hello Felicia, thank you so much for your positive feedback and we are always pleased to help! Happy Easter!

      1. Anonymous, what do you mean?

        Anonymous, what do you mean?

        1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

          Hello Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us, in what way can we elaborate what we mean? 

      1. What have you not understood?

        What have you not understood?

      1. Thank you Chilota, we are…

        Thank you Chilota, we are very glad to be of help.

    6. Patience is key to every…
      Patience is key to every situation, master remote control endeared.

      1. Pius Jonathan Candi thank…

        Pius Jonathan Candi thank you so much for your contribution, you are very right, patience is key in every endeavour in life. Have a great weekend ahead and stay safe buddy! 

    7. I have learn something from…
      I have learn something from here

      1. Hi Amarachi, we are very…

        Hi Amarachi, we are very glad to hear this 🙂

      1. Hello Jeffjojo, thank you…

        Hello Jeffjojo, thank you for sharing and indeed he is with us as long as we believe in him! Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!

    8. It’s awesome I just learnt…
      It’s awesome I just learnt something

      1. Hello Cynthia, thank you for…

        Hello Cynthia, thank you for getting in touch we are so glad! Stay tuned for more awesome and informative content!

      1. Hello Euny, thank you so…

        Hello Euny, thank you so much for your positive feedback! We will continue to share new and informative content to you. Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

    9. Wawooo I learnt a lot by…
      Wawooo I learnt a lot by this my dear

      1. Hi Beauty, we are so glad…

        Hi Beauty, we are so glad that we are able to provide you with a platform to make informed decisions and to ultimately help you. Everything will be fine and you are strong and amazing! Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

    10. I have learned alot,because…
      I have learned alot,because am working under this situation right now

      1. We are here for you Philip…

        We are here for you Philip and we are so glad that you have learned something! Let us know how things are going and have a great week!

    11. you have respect for your ex…
      you have respect for your ex and don’t be cruel to him/her when discussing about the break up.

      1. Hi Mathew, thank you for…

        Hi Mathew, thank you for your input. Yes indeed, it is important that parties involved should try and be as cordial as possible.

    12. Thanks I really love it
      Thanks I really love it

      1. Thank you for your feedback,…

        Thank you for your feedback, Chidimma.

    13. This is nice, I do learn…
      This is nice, I do learn something, and i believe this message will help me big time.

  2. I met a white guy online we…
    I met a white guy online we met him with my friend now he says he like me he loves my friend it hurts

    1. So sorry about this Harriet,…
      So sorry about this Harriet, had you developed feelings toward him? We hope that you will get better with time. We wish you well.

    2. I really learned a lot i…
      I really learned a lot i know what to do

      1. We are glad Solvyuranter.

        We are glad Solvyuranter.

    3. I saw a girl on my way then…
      I saw a girl on my way then I greet her from their we start Talking she ask me were I am living then answer her I am living in Victoria island she like living that place then I say ohw she like she say yes then she exchange contact she call the next day I answer her she say she will visit me then I say OK she is welcome at anytime,

      1. Hey Sulyman, thank you for…

        Hey Sulyman, thank you for sharing with us. We wish you all the best.

  3. Really making up a…
    Really making up a relationship is easy bit breaking up, I really don’t know how even to start it up.

    1. Breaking up can be tough…
      Hi James, Breaking up can be tough depending on the reasons for breaking up or the duration you have been together but at times a relationship may not be working or there might be no hope to save it and the only option is to break up however tough.

  4. It’s quite nice, but…
    It’s quite nice, but sometimes people are crazy about love, even now days I got a new lady who deceives me that is single but is a two married mother, what can I do to her, I told her that I no longer need you but refused to understand

    1. Hey Deus,…
      Hey Deus,

      You need to be clear and firm with her, she needs to know you are breaking up since she lied from the beginning. This is not about what she wants now that she lied about her relationship status. Be clear, be firm but not cruel.

    2. U hav to stick on your…
      U hav to stick on your decision Deus.

      1. Thank you for the your…

        Thank you for the your contribution Patience.

  5. Sometimes I really don’t…
    Sometimes I really don’t understand what to do with relationship because it’s confusing me

    1. Hi Sauda, Sorry about that…
      Hi Sauda, Sorry about that. What exactly is confusing?

  6. very true,what abt if you…
    very true,what abt if you ave been in a relationship with your partner for 2yrs end dhen u realise later that he has another relationship but insisting being with u,utafanyaje??

    1. Hey Damacline, First, he…
      Hey Damacline, First, he cheated on you and you need to find out if he is done with he other person/relationship and whether he is now choosing to commit to you. More importantly are you willing to forgive him and trust him again… Think about it and make an informed choice.

  7. Hi, I jus broke up with my…
    Hi, I jus broke up with my guy cause he doesn’t treat me better than the other woman he lives with.. Whenever they are in bad terms thats when he knows I exist buh when they are in good terms thats when he doesn’t know of my existence.. I got fed up nd dumped him.. I can’t play second option anymore

    1. Hi Tero, we wish you well…
      Hi Tero, we wish you well. We hope you can meet someone who will treat you right. All the best.

  8. I’ve been married to my…
    I’ve been married to my husband for 8years and it hasn’t been easy to spend all this time besides him since he told me repeatedly that he doesn’t love me… He showed that in action too… I have tried all means to keep my family but it’s not we now that I am no longer in love with my husband
    .i plz help me coz I really feel insecure in this marriage n I really want to break up

    1. Fridah, we are sorry that…
      Fridah, we are sorry that your relationship has to this. The unfortunate reality about relationships is that not all of them will last a lifetime. You both no longer love each other and while it maybe challenging after being together for such a longer time to even think about breaking up, it is time for you both to think about what is best which means breaking up. We wish you well. Check out the following articles;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up
      https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

    1. Thank you for the feedback.
      Thank you for the feedback.

  9. I liked him at the beginning…
    I liked him at the beginning but now days I no longer care about him

    1. Hey, Partners can grow apart…
      Hey, Partners can grow apart especially when there has not been communication or when partners are not spending quality time together. IF you feel there is still hope for your relationship, think about what could have led to this and then talk to your partner about how you can both avoid this in future. Often, communication goes along way in avoiding this. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

    1. We appreciate your…
      We appreciate your contribution Emma.

  10. Thanx am dumping someone…
    Thanx am dumping someone anytime now

  11. I am bored of mu galfriend…
    I am bored of mu galfriend sturborn and disgusting behaviours,how can I quit the relationship???

  12. Hi James my boyfriend uses…
    Hi James my boyfriend uses bhang and drinks alcohol I have told I hate bhang but instead he says I have to choose between being with him knowing he takes bhang or just being his past

  13. At least I have learn…
    At least I have learn something

    1. Hey Leonard, You are welcome.
      Hey Leonard, You are welcome.

  14. Can I get my lover here eny…
    Can I get my lover here eny girl to call me

    1. Hey Victor, Unfortunately,…
      Hey Victor, Unfortunately, we are not a dating service. We however, wish you well.

  15. At least l have a clue…
    At least l have a clue,although l don’t know how to express my love story

  16. Thanks for the advice pls…
    Thanks for the advice pls help me i fell in love with a Guy a year ago and Just found out He Is separated with two kids pls help me coz i want to call it quit

  17. Hi Dallaz, Not sure you mean…
    Hi Dallaz, Not sure you mean what you mean by expressing your love story but you can consider writing it. This will give you a chance to go over it and change what needs changing.

  18. Hi Judy, So sorry about this…
    Hi Judy, So sorry about this. If you feel that you are unable to continue with this relationship based on what you know now, be honest and let him know. Be honest and clear but try not to be cruel toward him. Let him know you are unable to continue with the relationship. Have a look at the article above for more tips.

  19. thnx guys,i luv yo advise
    thnx guys,i luv yo advise

    1. Dear Daniella, Glad you like…
      Dear Daniella, Glad you like the article. Keep reading.

  20. It’s awesome and a nice…
    It’s awesome and a nice advice

    1. We are glad this is useful…

      We are glad this is useful to you Tina.

      1. You are welcome Jenifer.

        You are welcome Jenifer.

  21. Hi,I av a partner who av…
    Hi,I av a partner who av been treating me very well, and we cove each other well but wen I was not getting a good money she started cheating me while my eye is seeing but I love her so much what do I do, she always say I should help her financially but am down, but now am outside the country what do I do plus, should I break up with her but it pains me alot

  22. Its a good piece,i have…
    Its a good piece,i have learnt sthng

    1. You are welcome Charlie.

      You are welcome Charlie.

  23. Hae..i have a girlfriend…
    Hae..i have a girlfriend whom i love so much but it seems as if she doesnt love me because there was atime i got love text from onother guy in her phone..and she appologized and we got back.after destroying that sim card and i bought her new card…and now i found when she renewed that sim card and it’s now working so now i feel that she doesnt love me and she has been cheating on me..i have tried to remove her out of mind but it cant happen because i realy love her so much..please kindly advice me on what to do wether to break with her or wether to continue its realy hurting me

    1. Hi Michael, the decision as…
      Hi Michael, the decision as to whether you will break up with her or not is yours to make. There is clearly a lack of trust between you and your partner. Whose idea was it to destroy the sim card? If it was not her idea she may not have committed to breaking the other relationship. You need to talk with her and have her let you know if she is willing to break the other relationship to be with you. If she is unwilling then it maybe time for you to breakup with her. Break ups are tough especially when you still have feelings for the person. But if you choose to break up, it will hurt. Eventually however, and with time, you will get over the hurt. Check out this article for tips for coping with a break up;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

      1. I broke with my boyfie about…
        I broke with my boyfie about 3 months ago it was not working. But I still have feelings for him. Is it a good idea to approach him we get back togetha? He didn’t want to breakup but I insisted.

        1. Hey Dama, you broke up…

          Hey Dama, you broke up because the relationship was not working, do you feel the reasons that led to the break up have changed? Also, he may have already moved on or just not interested in getting back together with you. While it is possible to get back together with an ex, it is important to think about the reasons that led to the break up in the first place and whether those issues have been resolved. If you do choose to get together, and he is also interested, it will be important that you start by resolving those issues and then talk about your expectations even as he shares his expectations as you start afresh. This will help put the relationship on the right path. Remember, open and honest communication is an essential part of any healthy relationship.

  24. Hi iam born 1995.am short…
    Hi iam born 1995.am short…men play me alot…pretending to love me…some say to me it is over as others pretend ..ihave tried my best bt .think am exhausted am i the becouse around 3 iknow them through phone.when icome to meet them someday..they just said it is over…aim i the problem…

    1. Hey Sylvia, So sorry about…

      Hey Sylvia, So sorry about this. There is no way for me to tell what could have led to this. However, not all relationships will last forever, even when you have done your very best a relationship may not work. All you can do is to move on when this happens. It may be important for to take sometime and think about what kind of person you want for a partner. Then, get into situations that will help you meet new people and hopefully you meet the person you wish one who will appreciate and love you for who you are, how you look including your height. If you are still hurting from previous breakups, take time and heal from the break ups before getting into a new relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  25. Thaxs for the message, at…
    Thaxs for the message, at least I have learnt something cose I dated a girl for 3years but she keeps telling me that I wait until the relationship starts working on her side

    1. Thank you Godfrey for…

      Thank you Godfrey for sharing your input. Am sure you now know how to move forward with your relationship. 

       

    2. I learn something good for…
      I learn something good for it, thanks

      1. We are so glad Precious!…

        We are so glad Precious! Always pleased to help!

  26. I have been dating this lady…
    I have been dating this lady for the one and a half yrs and all was going on well we had even started to talk about marriage. I was planning to officially as her to marry me and then she got a job in another town about 500 km away. At the beginning we could talk everyday but now everytime I call she is either busy or out of reach. She says there is bad connection where she lives. She promises to call but fails to do so. Should I trust what she is telling or… Can such a long distance religion’s hop work?

    1. Hi Micah, making a long…

      Hi Micah, making a long distance relationship work can be challenging and this is why if your relationship is changing to be a long distance relationship, it is important that you and your partner take time to think about how this will affect your relationship and then make a decision as to whether this is what you want. It is not possible to tell what could be going on with your partner, but it is important for you to find out what could be going on as well as share with her your concerns. If you and your partner are committed and want to make the relationship to work, it is important that you talk about this now and agree on how to proceed, if not it may be time to break up. Check out the following article for more tips on how to make a long distance relationship work;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  27. I broke up with my ex about…
    I broke up with my ex about a year aho but kept talking with my him. I got into a relationship months later but I kept communicating acting with my ex. We could even meet for coffee from time to time. We met recently at a mutual friends party and one thing led to another and we ended up hooking up and many more times after. We’ve realized we still have feelings for each and want to get back. I never told him I was seeing someone else and I now have to break up with my current and go back to him fully. I do know how to do this since this guy loves me I know, what reason should I give him, I don’t want to hurt him he has been good to me but I just don’t love him like the way I feel for my ex. Please help.

    1. Hey Sally, it is possible…

      Hey Sally, it is possible for people who had broken up to get back together and even go on to have a great and fulfiling relationship. It is important however for you to take sometime and think carefully about the decision to get back with your ex. Have you addressed the reason that led to your break up in the first place? This is an important place to start, address this reason and ensure that you start on a clean slate. As to what you should tell your current partner, perhaps you just need to be honest with them, however, anything you tell him as long as it leads to break up it will hurt him. I can’t tell you what reason to give him, but any reason you give him will hurt him. Take time and think about what you want in a relationship and partner, then make an informed decision. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/friends-with-an-ex-dos-and-donts

  28. I have been in a…
    I have been in a relationship with a guy whom I loved unconditionally,we now have a baby of five months,soon after giving birth i found out that he lied about his real life,i mean he has another a wife with 2 kids which he never told me .he still claims he loves me but he doesn’t want to confess the truth to me about his wife(he says he doesn’t love her anymore).I feel i want to breakup with him,actually i dont have any feelings for him any more.
    some advice pliz

    1. Hey Gloria, so sorry about…

      Hey Gloria, so sorry about this. Your partner has not been honest with you and finding out that he has another family is devastating. If you don’t feel that your relationship can continue you need to be honest with him about this, let him know how you feel and the end things. However you need to remember that their is a child involved and even if things don’t work out between the two of you, you can still agree on how he participates in the raising of the child. Be honest with him about how you feel and then agree on how to proceed. Check out the following articles;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  29. Can a relationship work…
    Can a relationship work after one person has cheated? How??

    1. Hey Cate, the short answer…

      Hey Cate, the short answer is yes it can work. However, it depends with whether both partners think it can work and whether they both want to try make it work. First, is the partner who cheated sorry about what happened? Have they taken responsibility and apologized and committed to the relationship? Secondly, is the person who was cheated on willing to forgive and work on trusting the person like they did before? It is important for partners to have an open and honest conversation about this and together agree on how to proceed, whether this will mean breaking up or working on things to keep the relationship. Check out these articles for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

  30. hi, there is this girl i…
    hi, there is this girl i have been dating since 2015 when she was in form 3, and she is the first girl i have ever been in a relationship with, but since last year when she got out of high school a guy(mike) tried to date her but they never managed to get the relationship going and the guy turned abusive to her and the guy also confronted me about being in a relationship with the girl but with me i got over it, after that incident the girl changed, she never initiated any conversation(texting or calling me first before i do) like she used to do before where a day could not pass without her getting in touch since we are in college in different places. After that incident she suggested we terminate the relationship but i convinced her that we just continue but when we met around December after 3 months without seeing each other i realised there was a another guy(joe) she was trying to date, when i asked her, she told me there was nothing between them.

    that decemeber is when we had sex for the first time after 3 yrs, but during that incident i realised she has never had sex before and she also came to visit me in school around feb, and things were moving fine but she was still in touch with the guy(joe) i suspected she had something to do with but she cleared my doubts about him and i let the story go.
    around april i went to stay in the same town she goes to school to, i felt more needy for time and intimacy with but she told me to relax until august when she finishes exam the we can spend some time

    unfortunately last week one of my friends(vic) caught her in the room of the guy she told me she had nothing to do with, where she spent the previous night with the guy(joe), he also gathered that she has been spending most weekends there. when i confronted her she gave me some reasons lke, she wanted to quit but i refused, her mother don’t want our relationship

    bt now i find it hard to end the relationship and i want to move on with her, she claims she ended both the relationships but promising to get intimate when she finishes exam and i feel she will do it since she has never lied to me about doing that. what can i do

    1. Hi Vin, your partner from…

      Hi Vin, your partner from her own confession has cheated on you atleast twice and she has also asked to end the relationship multiple times. There is no way to tell what will happen in future or whether will cheat on you again or whether it is still happening like you suspect. You have no control over her actions but you do have control over your own actions and choices. Take sometime and think about what you want in a partner and in a relationship, think about whether you are getting what you want or whether you will get it and then make a decision an informed decision on how to proceed. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/how-can-i-know-my-partner-is-cheating-on-me

  31. am in love with a guy that i…
    am in love with a guy that i love much ,but last week she told me that her mother is harsh on her so she had to move to live with his grandma ,when she came back she told me she went to his cousin ,to me i think its lies ,now she want us to continue with love but me i simwamini should i break her? plz help me

  32. Its a gud talk I have…
    Its a gud talk I have learned smthg

    1. Thank you Asmin. Keep…

      Thank you Asmin. Keep reading our articles. 

  33. My partner is now cheating…
    My partner is now cheating on me openly and we have one child together. He just changed I dont know what to do anymore?

    1. Hello Esther, have you…

      Hello Esther, have you talked about this with him? You may want to talk to him about this and get to know what could be going or why he seems to have suddenly changed. If he is remorseful, willing to change and commit to the relationship you can consider going back to how things were before. If he is however unwilling, then you will need to decide whether to accept this or breakup and move on. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems We wish you well. 

  34. I no longer love my partner…
    I no longer love my partner I am thinking of breaking up with him. Is this the right thing to do or in future I will feel different?

    1. Hi Maurine, I am not able to…

      Hi Maurine, I am not able to tell how it is you will feel in future, but have you considered how you got here in the first place? It may help to think about what led to this. All relationships will have problems from time to time and it is how partners choose to address the problems that makes the difference. Often, communications will help to address the issues in a relationship. If you no longer feel in-love with your partner, it maybe time to break up. Find a good time and have an honest conversation with them about and share with them you decision. Check out these article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

       

  35. My boy have been very mean…
    My boy have been very mean to me it is now a year since we meet,when tell him about meeting he just ignore, I tell him to assist me financial in case the same applys now I have just decided to be silent.is it the best solution??

    1. Dear Rehema, so sorry about…

      Dear Rehema, so sorry about this. Spending quality time time is an important part of any relationship. No spending time together will lead to you growing apart and may lead to a break up. If your partner is unwilling to spend time with you or even offer you support when you need it, you may want to think about whether this is what you want in a partner and relationship. Find a good time and talk about this issues, let him know what your expectations are and have him also let you know what his expectations are. This way you can decide whether to continue in the relationship or not. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  36. I have been silent to my boy…
    I have been silent to my boy almost two month now because he is very mean in terms of finance also about meeting with him it is now a year since I met him.can it be a good dissition?? Plz help

    1. Hello Rehema, communication…

      Hello Rehema, communication is an important part of any relationship even when you are addressing problems in the relationship. Have you talked to your partner about the issues you have? You need to find a good time and break the silence, talk about the issues you have and then agree on how to address them especially if both of you are still interested in the relationship. As to whether this is a good decision, it depends on what you want moving forward. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  37. I highly suspect my…
    I highly suspect my boyfriend is cheating bcz of the way he is acting. Should I breakup or am making mistake?

    1. Hi Vesh, what makes you feel…

      Hi Vesh, what makes you feel he maybe cheating? Have you talked to your boyfriend about your suspicion? Holding on to your thoughts may lead to you making the wrong conclusion. Find a good time and talk to your partner so that you can find out what could be going on. This can be a difficult conversation but talking about it will help you make the right decision and also address the issues that may have led to you suspecting your boyfriend is cheating. have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend

  38. I keep breaking up with my…
    I keep breaking up with my boyfriend and then we come together again to hook up only. It happened this weekend and after he left I felt very bad about myself and this thing we are doing. To make matter worse he is dating another girl or so he says. Please help me break up with him for good?

    1. Hey Zippy, when you choose…

      Hey Zippy, when you choose to continue relating with your ex after breaking up, it is important to be clear about why you need to keep relating and the boundaries of such relationship should be clearly defined. You need to talk about this with your ex, let them know how this makes you feel and also help him see the need to stick to and work on his new relationship. Be clear about what you want moving forward. Be firm and also make deliberate choices to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. You may even have to stop communicating or meeting for sometime. Check out the following articles for additional information;-

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/post-break-up-sex-a-good-idea

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  39. Breaking up has been…
    Breaking up has been difficult to. I am unable to move on or forgive my ex for leaving after proposing to me. Sometimes I hate him other times I feel I still have love for him. Please help me because I am loosing my mind.

    1. Hey Joan, we are so sorry…

      Hey Joan, we are so sorry about this. Break ups are tough especially when you had been together for a long time or like in your case you were already planning for the future or also the reasons that have led to the breakup. It is important that you recognize that this was not your fault, you had no control over the choices he made including leaving. It is unfortunate that not all relationships last a life time even when you choose to do your best. Start by forgiving yourself and then make a decision to forgive him. Healing after a break up takes time,  and time is indeed a healer. Give yourself time sometime, eventually you will get over this. Lastly, it is completely normal to have all kinds of feelings during this early stages of a break up, once you can think about him and not have negative feelings you will have healed. Check out the following article for additional tips on how to cope with a breakup;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  40. I have been dating 2 girls,…
    I have been dating 2 girls, just got to know one is pregnant for me. I love the other girl who is not pregnant more. The pregnant girl now wants to move in with me, introduce me to her parents and she also wants to meet my mom. I am confused I don’t know what to do?

    1. Hey Drake, you have to come…

      Hey Drake, you have to come clean to both girls, if you don’t it will come out at some point and it maybe challenging to manage it then. It depends on how they feel about this that will determine the next cause of action. For instance, they may both not be willing to remain in a relationship with you, one of them maybe willing to keep the relationship or even both, at which point you have to decide how to proceed. Take time, think about the different possible outcomes and then make a decision on how to proceed. Remember, you don’t have to move in with her or marry her since she is pregnant for you but you definitely need to be clear about how you will support her and participate in the raising of the child after birth. Find a good time and be honest with both of them to better address the issues. 

  41. Had a messy break up with my…
    Had a messy break up with my fiance of 3 years. He was a cheat. Had invested soo much in the relationship I don’t think I can ever move forward.

    1. Hey Hellen, so sorry about…

      Hey Hellen, so sorry about this. The unfortunate truth about relationships is that not all of them will last a lifetime, you may have put in your very best effort but you are not responsible for the choices your ex made. This was not your fault. He cheated on you, broke the rules of your relationship and it had to end. All you can do now is to move on. It is tough, it hurts and it may feel difficult to move forward but gets better with time, time heals. Give yourself time, take each day at a time, and eventually you will get over this and perhaps be ready to get into a new relationship. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  42. Just broke up now looking…
    Just broke up now looking for someone new to love, anyone?

  43. I have tried to break up…
    I have tried to break up with my girlfriend but she has refused to move on. She comes to my place unannounced, she even treated my female friend telling her that she is my girlfriend. I don’t know what else to do I have been nice I have tried to be nasty but she still insists on the relationship…

    1. Hey Leo, sounds like this…

      Hey Leo, sounds like this has been frustrating for you. If you have been clear and firm about the break up but she still insists, you may have to resort to more drastic measures particularly because this may stop you from getting into a new fulfilling relationship. The drastic changes may include moving houses among other measures that will help deny her access to you. Be firm about your decision, you dont have to be cruel toward her seeing that she may still be in love with you and this is why the break up is tough for her. Have a look at this article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/breaking-up-dos-and-donts

  44. Hi friends have been in a…
    Hi friends have been in a relationship for 2yrs and we have a kid BT after giving birth this guy doesn’t pick ma calls not even replying ma texts not unless he wants to date mi,,,have been confused in this relationship yet I love her BT I have no option to do help me please

    1. Hello Beatrice,it is…

      Hello Beatrice,it is important you talk with the father of your child about your relationship. You need to agree on how to proceed. You need to agree on whether you have a relationship or not including how he will participate in raising the child you have together. You also need to decide what you want moving forward and whether you are happy having him only call you for dates. We wish you well. 

  45. Help me I fell in love with…
    Help me I fell in love with a guy about year ago who appeared to be single and I just found out he is married though he says they separated months ago. He has two kids with his ex. I just dont want to be caught up in the drama with his ex. I want to quit.

    1. Hey Flora, you may want to…

      Hey Flora, you may want to start by establishing his current relationship status. Is he together with his wife, are they separated and what does the future of his relationship with his wife look like. More importantly, you need to decide who want for a partner now and in the future. Ask yourself if he fits the kind of person you want ask you make a decision on how to proceed. We wish you well. 

  46. I have been with my husband…
    I have been with my husband for six years ad he started cheating on me ad when I ask he just say it’s just a friend ad I can’t judge him coz I love him so I believe what he says but every Tym I go to where he works I meet him wid this gal ad am confused coz my man even treat me lyk am just for the sake ad even he comes home late he even beat me up so I left him ad went back home to my mum I have one child ad I can’t believe dat leaving him I love him buh I want to break up wat am I going to do

    1. Dear Cynthia, so sorry about…

      Dear Cynthia, so sorry about this. Did you go back to him or you are still at your mother’s place? It appears that he no longer respects you especially if he is cheating on you and more importantly because he beat you. You need to make that difficult decision of breaking up with him, it is a difficult decision because you still love him. You need to think about whether you want to be with a person who treats you this way. If not, let him know you decision. Have a look at the following articles for more tips;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/sexual-harassment/intimate-partner-violence-top-facts

       

  47. I had a bad disagreement…
    I had a bad disagreement with my fiance and we had to broke up. Now I miss him so much I am thinking of calling him maybe we have our relationship back. Should I?

    1. Debbie, I am sorry for what…

      Debbie, I am sorry for what you went through. Break up is never easy especially considering the circumstances at which it happened. The decision to call him or not is all yours. However you may want to ask yourself few questions; what do want if he picks his phone, what was the reason for breakup, is the issue resolvable, what if he does not pick you call, what if he picks but does not want the relationship back? Think about this and make an informed decision. 

  48. How can i get my gal back we…
    How can i get my gal back we broke up 3 months age i cant bare it anymore i still love her but she refuse to answer my calls.

    1. Hey Tommie, it is normal to…

      Hey Tommie, it is normal to feel this way soon after a break up depending on the reasons for the break up and especially if you are still in love with the person. To get back together, your ex needs to be willing as well. Also, you need to think about what led to the break up in the first place and whether the issue or issues have since been resolved. Take sometime and think about whether it is possible to resolve the issues that led to the break up and the reach out to your ex to see if they are willing to get back with you. Remember, she may have already moved on or just not interested in getting back with you. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-can-i-get-back-my-ex

    1. You are welcome Grace.

      You are welcome Grace.

  49. How do you break up with a…
    How do you break up with a person you are still inlove with?

    1. Hi Salome, breaking up with…

      Hi Salome, breaking up with a person you are still in love with can be challenging. If you, however,  have determined that a relationship will not work and that breaking up is the only option, you need to be honest with your partner and clear about your reasons for wanting to break up. It is important that you are firm about this decision but you don’t have to be cruel toward your partner. Try find a good time and a good place to communicate your decision. All the best. 

  50. Good news to hear BT i…
    Good news to hear BT i totally don’t av hopes in a relationship after a broken heart

  51. I just got married but I’m…
    I just got married but I’m not happy with my marriage because before I got married he rent three bedroom flat two lady collect one room remain two room he promised me there going to live after marriage till now they are not live if I say anything about them my husband will up set with me

    1. Hi Dasola, what relationship…

      Hi Dasola, what relationship does your husband have with the two ladies? I can imagine how frustrating this is especially for your young marriage. It is important that you talk about this with your husband to be able to find a solution that is acceptable to you both. You can also consider having someone your partner respects to talk with him about so you can find a solution. Have a look at the following article for more tips on how to communicate;-  https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  52. Thanks the pieces of advice
    Thanks the pieces of advice

    1. You are very welcome.

      You are very welcome.

  53. I decided to visit without…
    I decided to visit without warning after all we had been dating for close to one year. I found him red handed having sex with another lady. I could not believe my eyes. He said it was a mistake and has been apologising since, sending flowers to my office every few days, many many texts. I told him to give me time but he doesn’t want to stop apologising. I have been through this again and the guy cheated again. I I just can go through this again yet I don’t know if I want to start a new relationship again. I need help to decide…

    1. Hi Lucy, so sorry about this…

      Hi Lucy, so sorry about this. You partner broke the rules of your relationship by cheating on you. There is no way to predict the future, whether or not he will cheat again or he will remain faithful to you. You need to make a decision which only you can make. Take sometime and think about whether you want to trust him again and whether you want to give him another chance. To give him another chance you will need to accept his apology and forgive him. If on the other hand you do not feel you can trust him again it maybe time for you to break up. Take sometime and think about what you want moving forward and then make a decision which you will also need to communicate to him. Have a look at the following articles form more information;- 

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/guide-to-recovery-for-the-cheated

       

  54. We recently got back…
    We recently got back together but the same thing that made us split has happened again. I love this guy but I am now convinced we are not going anywhere, he can’t change.

  55. What if the guy refuses to…
    What if the guy refuses to let you go he insists that you are meant to be together?

  56. Is there a reason that is…
    Is there a reason that is not good enough to make people to break up?

  57. I just dropped someone I am…
    I just dropped someone I am now available for someone new. Call me

    1. Hi Makena, we are not a…

      Hi Makena, we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. We wish you well. 

  58. Hi team. I met with this…
    Hi team. I met with this new guy after there’s a little conflict between I and my man for about months. Now my man came begging me with his reasons why he reacted the way he did and I see his reason are genuine. I wanted to break ? up with this new guy and don’t know how to make it. I’m confused

    1. Hi Eknor, if you want to get…

      Hi Eknor, if you want to get back with your ex, you will have to first break up with a new guy. It is important to however, ensure you have resolved the issues that made you separate in the first place. The way to break up is to be honest with him, be honest but also remember not to be cruel and do it in person. You have no way of controlling how he will react, but prepared for a negative reaction. also, choose a venue and time that you are comfortable with. have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up 

  59. I broke up with my bf 2…
    I broke up with my bf 2 months ago because we were not working. I still have feelings for him. should I approach him to restore the relationship? He said he still loved me when we broke up.

  60. My ex broke up with me three…
    My ex broke up with me three months ago for reasons I did not understand. Though I accepted I am still inlove with him I still call and text many times he does not reply then I insult before apologizing. I desperately want him back but I donot know how to get him back what should I do? I have begged and apologized over and over again but does not want to talk to at all. Please help me.

    1. Hi Angela, it appears as…

      Hi Angela, it appears as your ex is not willing to get back with you. There is really not much you can do to make him get back with you, you seen to have done all you could. You have apologized more than once but he still won’t talk to you. It is tough since you still love him, but all you can do now is to allow yourself to move. This is a process that may take time but eventually you will move on and perhaps even get into a new fulfilling relationship. Have a look at the following article for tips on coping with a break up;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  61. I have broken up with him…
    I have broken up with him but he has refused to let me go. He still texts and calls all the time and says I am the only girl he can date. He is very abusive I had to walk away. I don’t know what else to do to keep him off my back…

    1. Hi Stella, moving on from a…

      Hi Stella, moving on from a break up can be challenging especially if one is still in love and also how partners broke up. If the calls and texts are bothering you, you may have to take more drastic measures that may include blocking him from accessing you through your phone number or changing your phone number. You may also need to be clear about the fact that you are no longer together and are not interested in a relationship or even communication.

  62. Can a cheater change or…
    Can a cheater change or should I just break up?

    1. Hi there, it is difficult to…

      Hi there, it is difficult to predict the future. A person may or may not change and for this reason you have to think about whether you want to take a chance with them or not. This is a decision only you can make, take sometime and think about whether you wish to give them another chance or not. If not, it maybe time to break up. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up

  63. I still feelings for my ex…
    I still feelings for my ex what should I do?

    1. Hello Joy, it is normal to…

      Hello Joy, it is normal to still feel attracted to your ex even long after breakup. However you need to decide what you want with your life; do you want to continue having feelings for someone who moved on or do you want to take care of yourself and find love once again? Check these two articles for insights on how to deal with your ex: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/getting-over-your-ex-dos-and-donts and https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/dealing-with-your-ex

       

  64. I broke up with my bf 1…
    I broke up with my bf 1 month ago but I still have feelings for him. Should I try to get him back.or is a bad idea?

    1. Hello, it is normal to feel…

      Hello, it is normal to feel this way after a break up and there is nothing wrong with considering getting back with your ex. However, you need to remember why you broke up in the first place and whether the issues can be resolved. Also, remember, your partner may have already moved on or are unwilling to get back together. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-can-i-get-back-my-ex

  65. I no longer live him we have…
    I no longer live him we have broken up so many times but he doesn’t want to let me go. I don’t know what to do to show him I can’t love him.

    1. Hey Emmanuel, thank you for…

      Hey Emmanuel, thank you for the feedback. 

  66. We broke up but we still…
    We broke up but we still meet for sex I want to stop it how?

    1. You are welcome Tolani.

       

      You are welcome Tolani.

       

    1. What about love Fatimah?

      What about love Fatimah?

  67. What can help if your mate…
    What can help if your mate need break up

  68. Hello Okoro, thank you for…

    Hello Okoro, thank you for reaching out to us. You cannot force someone to stay if they really want to go. However you could state your case and try and argue for why you should stay together.

    1. Hi Sarah, what is true?

      Hi Sarah, what is true?

  69. Please I need advice, am so…
    Please I need advice, am so confused in my relationship now, I don’t really know what’s going on in my relationship since 5 day’s now my boyfriend is not talking to me as usual, I charted no reply
    And he is avoiding mycalls but letter he picked it, I asked him what’s the problem he said nothing dah he is not in the mood to chart, this story is very Long, but this how it started,I don’t know what I will do should I leave him or should I keep watching, I need advice pleeeeease ??

    1. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

      Hello Anonymous, thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear you are going through such a hard time. It could be time for you and your partner to have a hard conversation. Communicate your fears and ask for him to be clear about his intentions as well. Be ready and open to hearing things that you may not want to or you may not be ready to hear. However, try not to make any assumptions, make a decision based on facts.

  70. I love this story of love
    I love this story of love

    1. Hi Opeyemi, stories of love…

      Hi Opeyemi, stories of love are indeed lovely but this one depicts heart break, are you reffering to this part of the story that you love and if so, why? Let us know.

  71. thanks for letting me know…
    thanks for letting me know how to break up in style i have been hurting those souls i once loved thinking am the one doing the right thing

    1. Hi Kevine, thank you so much…

      Hi Kevine, thank you so much for your feedback. We are glad to hear that the article was of help. Feel free to go through the website and find other articles that you may find of help.

  72. now i know learning never…
    now i know learning never ends

  73. Hi Onoja, 

    Thank you for…

    Hi Onoja, 

    Thank you for your input. I am glad that you learnt something new. Keep it Love Matters for more informative content. 

  74. How can u fined true love…
    How can u fined true love again

    1. Hi Joy, 

      You can find true…

      Hi Joy, 

      You can find true love again. But first, the best thing to do is take some time with yourself, find hobbies, practice things that you love, and try to learn how to be happy with yourself. Happiness and confidence are attractive in a person and when you find yourself in a good place people will find you. Second, be clear about what you are looking for in a partner, be realistic about your expectations but at the same time, do not compromise just because someone has come along. As always, feel free to ask us any questions about love, sex, or relationships if they come up. 

      All the best in your search!

  75. Breakups are really painful…
    Breakups are really painful to be honest ?

    Especially when you’re dumped … To be honest it’s not easy to move on

    It can take an year or so but what I do tell my colleagues …. Just move on … Kindly move one

    Wipe out you’re tears and move on

    Never rush

    Pray to God to heal you’re wounds ??❤️?

    1. Hi Miguel, 

      That’s true. It…

      Hi Miguel, 

      That’s true. It can be very painful especially when the decision was made by one partner and the other one was hoping that the relationship will last or will lead to marriage, life partnership, or whatever next level is for that relationship. As you said, it is best to move on especially when a partner has said that they no longer want to be in the relationship. For more information on how to move on, read this article: Practical tips on how to cope with a breakup

    1. Hi there, 

      That’s great to…

      Hi there, 

      That’s great to know! Keep it here for more informative content. 

LOVE MATTERS

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships