The worst of men
How awful – an abusive cheat?
He sounds like the worst of men. Congratulations on deciding to leave him. You won't regret it. Nobody deserves to be cheated on and abused.
You might not realise this because you are in this horrible situation, but he is eating at your self-esteem and your self-worth.
When the people we love and value turn on us and say hurtful things, we tend to believe them because they know us well. Therefore, we suspect that they might be on to something.
Plan your break-up
Obviously, breaking up with this man ad hoc does not work. In fact, what you have taught him is that you don’t mean it when you dump him. He has also learned that he can beg and plead his way back into your life after you dump him.
But do not despair. It might be rough for a while but trust me, you can get rid of him.
Girl, you just need a plan, a strategy:
- Do not break up with him in the heat of the moment.
- Collect your belongings from his house. Each time you go over, take a few of your things home with you so that when you do say it’s over, you will not need further contact with him.
- Buy a new phone line and install it as soon as you dump his insulting behind.
- Tell a close friend about what you are planning so that they will know to check on you regularly until this guy gets tired and leaves you alone.
- Fill your calendar with things that you like to do. You will miss him; after all, you have been with him for four years and it wasn’t all miserable. Keep busy until you get used to being single.
- Expect the worst. He might camp outside your house. You might cry yourself to sleep every night for weeks. Or you might second-guess your decision as you have in the past.
It won't be easy
Break-ups are never easy, even when you are the person ending the relationship. It’s normal to feel disappointed when something you have invested in doesn't work out.
Be gentle with yourself at this time and hold on to your conviction. This, too, shall pass.