Woman turning away from a man

How to dump a nasty boyfriend

My boyfriend of four years has cheated on me. He insults me. But when I try to break-up, he keeps bothering me until I accept him back. What do I do?

The worst of men

How awful – an abusive cheat?
He sounds like the worst of men. Congratulations on deciding to leave him. You won’t regret it. Nobody deserves to be cheated on and abused.

You might not realise this because you are in this horrible situation, but he is eating at your self-esteem and your self-worth.

When the people we love and value turn on us and say hurtful things, we tend to believe them because they know us well. Therefore, we suspect that they might be on to something.

Plan your break-up

Obviously, breaking up with this man ad hoc does not work. In fact, what you have taught him is that you don’t mean it when you dump him. He has also learned that he can beg and plead his way back into your life after you dump him.

But do not despair. It might be rough for a while but trust me, you can get rid of him.

Girl, you just need a plan, a strategy:

  1. Do not break up with him in the heat of the moment.
  2. Collect your belongings from his house. Each time you go over, take a few of your things home with you so that when you do say it’s over, you will not need further contact with him.
  3. Buy a new phone line and install it as soon as you dump his insulting behind.
  4. Tell a close friend about what you are planning so that they will know to check on you regularly until this guy gets tired and leaves you alone.
  5. Fill your calendar with things that you like to do. You will miss him; after all, you have been with him for four years and it wasn’t all miserable. Keep busy until you get used to being single.
  6. Expect the worst. He might camp outside your house. You might cry yourself to sleep every night for weeks. Or you might second-guess your decision as you have in the past.

It won’t be easy

Break-ups are never easy, even when you are the person ending the relationship. It’s normal to feel disappointed when something you have invested in doesn’t work out.

Be gentle with yourself at this time and hold on to your conviction. This, too, shall pass.

Do you have any tips to break-up with someone who won’t take no for an answer? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Naija and Kenya on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (4)

  1. Every time he looks at you…
    Every time he looks at you look at him in the corner of your eye and stare 2mins at him and just suddenly laugh out loud as loud as you can clutching your phone
    Then look back at him and walk away laughing

    He will get annoyed and try to approach you
    When he does wave to a friend and pretend he’s not there

    When he tries to speak to you laugh even harder and walk past him
    Pretend he don’t exist
    He will eventually get the hint

    Then fill your days with as much fun activities as possible

    Keep repeating this process every time you see him

    1. Hey Gawaya, thank you for…

      Hey Gawaya, thank you for your contribution.

      1. HI Farahab, thank you for…

        HI Farahab, thank you for the feedback. 

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