Breaking up: do’s and don’ts
A bad relationship can sometimes leave you with no other option but to break up. But it’s never easy. Here are a few tips.
… your homework
Know why you’re breaking up. If your partner isn’t expecting this piece of bad news, you’ll have to end up doing a lot of explaining. Plus, it will also give you a great opportunity to reflect on your thoughts and find out if a break-up is what you really want.
… it in person
Tell your partner the bad news face to face, not over email, SMS, telephone or Skype, unless the situation absolutely demands it. Meeting them in person before the relationship ends will offer closure, which is psychologically important to move on.
… it in a place that’s comfortable for your partner
A crowded restaurant with a lot of strangers around might be intimidating for your partner, when you’re talking about such a sensitive issue. Pick a place that makes them feel safe enough to express their emotions.
… be prepared for the worst reaction
Being dumped is perhaps one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. So don’t be surprised if your partner starts yelling, crying, arguing or just storms out on you. Handle the situation calmly, accept their reactions by understanding the feelings of hurt underneath them.
…lie
Be honest with your partner when you’re about to end the relationship. Tell them exactly what you felt was wrong in the relationship. This could be harsh but equally important for them to learn. It’s only fair that they know where it went wrong.
… be cruel
Break-ups are terrible by nature. Don’t go out of your way to make it more hurtful. Being honest doesn’t mean you have to be vindictive and cruel. Try to word the truth delicately.
… be ambiguous
Don’t leave your partner in doubt. If you don’t mean it, don’t tell them something like, ‘It’s not working out now, but it might work out another time.’ That would make them hopeful and wrongly so.
… waver
Once you’ve made up your mind about breaking up and are absolutely sure, don’t change your decision. Your partner might convince you to give it ‘one last chance’ but unless there’s any real reason why you should buy that argument, don’t fall for it. Stick to your guns.
Do you have any tips for breaking up? Did some break up with you in a way that only made things worse? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.
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Recent Comments (294)
gud
gud
Hi there,
Hi there,
we are glad you like our article!
pole Peris..
pole Peris..
i am currently goin through
i am currently goin through the pains of a heartbreak.i feel lyk breaking down after al the love i had for him.nothing makes sense to me nowadays.am realy heartbroken.
Hi Perys,
Hi Perys,
sorry to hear about that!
Being heartbroken is horrible. And only time will heal your wounds. We know that right now, it seems like nothing is ever going to be alright again, but trust as, it will.
Be strong!
All the best.
Yes it happened to me one
Yes it happened to me one day when my lover just came and told me that it is over. It can’t work btn me and her. For sure this left with no hope.
Hi Benedict,
Hi Benedict,
sorry to hear about your experiences.
Sometimes, things don’t work out between people. But as much as it hurts, it will get better as time passes.
Yeah i got and we brok up
Yeah i got and we brok up earlier
Hi Samir,
Hi Samir,
sorry to hear that 🙁
i met a girl yesterday in a
i met a girl yesterday in a rally. she was drunk, we talked & we exchanged numbers. she texted me several times bt i later told her that my battery was low so we would chat later. Today at mid day i texted bt got no reply. is it that she is pissed off or she just liked me because she was drunk?
Hi John,
Hi John,
well, it could be a number of things. Maybe she was still sleeping off her hang-over today. Maybe she was embarrassed because she had too much to drink. Maybe her battery died, too. The point is, you can’t know for sure unless you ask. Give her a day or two and then call. Ask how she is and if she wants to meet up with you. From her reaction, you’ll be able to tell if she was annoyed with you or if she only liked you because she was drunk.
Hi,am in a relatiönship wth a
Hi,am in a relatiönship wth a married bt young guy whereby av rili tried ma best we brk up bt @ the end he apoligizes n we go on… The guy spends mst of hs tym wth me n nt tha wyf coz he onli goes to c the wyf n tha kid one day in wk…i fl i lv tha guy bt a fl hrt to knw he’s married yt he says he lvs me.
Hi Shazy,
Hi Shazy,
you are in a bit of a fix there, but I guess you already knew it.
It’s your decision: do you want to stay with a guy who cheats on his wife or not? It’s great that he says he loves you, and I don’t know anything about the relationship to his wife, but I find cheating a really bad thing. How do you know he wouldn’t cheat on you? What would you do then? And have you talked to him about this? What is his idea on the whole situation? Also keep in mind what his wife and kid must feel like.
Talk to him and make a decision.
i made adecision to breakup
i made adecision to breakup my relationship when i noticed that she was not faithfull but she’s not ready to accept what can i do! already i have someone else and i plan to marry her soon
Hi Seth,
Hi Seth,
you made your decision and she has to accept it. Have a final talk with her, and then explain that you think it’s better not to talk to and see each other for a while.
Accepting that a relationship is over can be difficult, and that’s why you have to give her clear signs and don’t negotiate.
Good luck!
I broke up with my bf via sms
I broke up with my bf via sms abt two wiks ago,he asks me to mit him but later givs excuses,i dont think al change my mind so i thought that it should remain like that n we don mit again
Hey Kylyn,
Hey Kylyn,
ouch! Breaking up via SMS is harsh! No wonder he is not happy with you.
But always with breaking up, it’s best to stick your decisions and don’t jerk around your ex.
its two wiks since we brokeup
its two wiks since we brokeup bt am pushing her 2 come back bt she is insisting its over n 2 late should i give her tym coz i cant imagine losing her or what should i do?
Hi Edward,
Hi Edward,
breaking up is really hard and painful and it takes time to get over someone. If it was her decision to break up, give her time and space, and take some time yourself to figure out what you really want. After a while, you can ask her to talk to you once again and you can talk about what went wrong and if you two can work on it. But you also need to accept her decisions.
Good luck with it!
You must let go when you see
You must let go when you see everything is going wrong. People may laugh at you but regrets are even more embarrassing than just a break-up!
Hi Arnold,
Hi Arnold,
thanks for your comment, we like your insight!
I broke up wth ma gal last
I broke up wth ma gal last year cz she tld me dhat she wnts 2b marred by a richman buh she stil wnts me bck buh i stick 2ma decision!
Hi Jose,
Hi Jose,
sounds like your ex was after money. So keep sticking to your decision!
wen u give ua all in a person
wen u give ua all in a person then its betrayed u feel like running away from reality. it happened to me..wasnt there for materialistic benefit but genuine love.i learned to cook so as never to disapoint..but the min i was away for about 2months,due to various reason.he looked for someone else,am now baq n the same town but day n day out..he z all over my mind. unfortunate we collides at joints..with his new gal….i dont know what i lacked ama dint give but swear am not any soon goin to ever love….i see no meaning,i think i can make it…..heartbreak isnt easy
Hi Ennah,
Hi Ennah,
thanks for sharing your experience!
Of course, you can make it. And one day, you will be able to trust and love someone again.
Good luck!
What is the implication of
What is the implication of someone telling u they lost da feeling for u wen they loved u so dearly for long?
Hi Cavin,
Hi Cavin,
sometimes, people just fall out of love. It hurts when it happens, but nobody can know how long a relationship can last. Don’t blame yourself.
hi..i hppn to luv sme guy so
hi..i hppn to luv sme guy so mch bt thngs aint rght btwn us..he says he luvs bt i hide alot frm him of whch he dsnt specify..i usualy tel him we aint wrkng out n we shld end it bt he asumes n dsnt rply n acts normal lyk we’re gud again..wat shld i do?he isnt an open guy wsh i cld learn him..m so deporesed
Hi Linet,
Hi Linet,
you need to be very clear and final with him. Tell him it’s over, for good, then leave and don’t seem him again for a few weeks. Don’t take his calls, don’t text and so on. He needs to understand that this is the end.
Good luck
Hi! am a student. I met a
Hi! am a student. I met a young girl in the same institution. The problem is that the girl wont call unless i do that. she will sometimes nt respond to my inboxes but when she is with her friends she will always want to talk to me so that they can know that we are together. can i say is this a mind game she is playing or love?
Hi Emma,
Hi Emma,
unfortunately, I can’t tell you if it’s a mind game or love. To find that out, you have to talk to the girl. Tell her that her behavior hurts and confuses you and tell you you want a straight answer.
Good luck!
i av a bf weve stayed fr a
i av a bf weve stayed fr a year d few months bt i realised he hd nt left hs ex so,it hd bn a rshp wd quarrels evn wd hs
Hi Princess Juliee,
Hi Princess Juliee,
if he has been dishonest with you for the entire time of your relationship, then breaking up really was your only option!
I hope your next boyfriend will be more honest!
I hve been in a r/shp with
I hve been in a r/shp with another chick who is 3yrs older than me nd who has my baby boy as her second born. I hve no intention at all 2 marry her. I hve been trying 2 be away from this lady bt every time we meet, we started conversing about having sex nd without hesitation we found ourselves doing it. The truth of the matter is tat, i don’t want the lady nd her two kids though one kid surely bears my blood. Our relationship was only to satisfy each others desires. Further 2 this, the lady disclosses to me that she was 6 months pregnant wch upto now i’m doubtg bcoz i usually ask her why she was always say’g i’m nt in the periods nd tat i’m safe 2 have sex yet she vry wel knew things had gone beyond the board.
Hi Jack Jonah,
Hi Jack Jonah,
it’s fair enough that you don’t want to marry or be with the lady, but then you have to stop having sex with her. And we sure hope that you will financially support her and your son even once you stop having sex.
And even if she is pregnant, you should always use condoms unless both you and your partner have been tested for STDs and are faithful to each other, which seems to me you are not.
I woz madly n lv wid a gal..
I woz madly n lv wid a gal…afta xmtym we had separated coz i woz n xkul n she had fnshd ha education..wen i came bck i woz shckd she had wrtten a msg 2 mi sayin she nva wntd a bf age!! i got xo confusd coz she woz all i had..plz help mi!!!
Hi Jona,
Hi Jona,
I’m sorry to hear that.
Please have a chat with your girlfriend about what’s going on. She is the only one who can tell you what happened. Tell her you are hurt and that you just want to know what happened.
Good piece there! I like it
Good piece there! I like it
Thanks Julius, we are glad to
Thanks Julius, we are glad to hear that!
I broke up with my gal of 1
I broke up with my gal of 1 year and a quarter in January, she entered into another r/ship within a week. That r/ship lasted for 4 months then after another month she entered into another r/ship which lasted like 2 months. On my side it was really hard for me to move on i couldn’t forget her at around June i trying moving into anatha r/shp bt it failed coz i couldn’t forget my ex. Damn even now…
Hi Hargo,
Hi Hargo,
people deal differently with break-ups. It seems to me that your ex was throwing herself into new relationships to get over the relationship with you. Everybody has different coping styles; you needed time, and you still need time, as it seems. Don’t rush into anything if you are not ready.
Well,after brok upwith my gal
Well,after brok upwith my gal of 1 yr and 1 month,am so heartbroken since then….and things have never been the same coz of the love ì had 4 her and its been so hard 4 me to forget about her but am trying hard to,coz she just told me through and thats why i dont think if i’ll ever fall inlove again
Awww, Abbas, sorry!
Awww, Abbas, sorry!
And as much as you don’t believe it, you will be fine. Just try not to isolate yourself, get out, see people, do things you enjoy. And one day, you will realize that the pain gets less. Good luck!
Av been inlove with this guy
Av been inlove with this guy for 3years nw.all along he said he loved me too and we would flirt and even kiss.the problem is that he never realy wanted to commit himself to me so after waiting for three yrs i decided to leave him because he kept wanting us to sex chat and even caress me bt never wntd a rlshp.i stil love him bt i let him go.breaking up with him realy hurt me.was it right to do so?
Hi Nancy,
Hi Nancy,
we can’t tell you if it was the right thing to do. But it sounds like he was playing with you, and if you are looking for a committed relationship, and you definitely had a point. And breaking up always hurts, especially if you loved him. So give yourself some time, and listen to your heart. Only you know if it was the right decision.
I luv this guy we brokeup
I luv this guy we brokeup then got back 2gether he says he luvs me bt he told cousin that he dosnt feel me n that nobody should know not even me am confused
Hi Stellah, pole sana. Have
Hi Stellah, pole sana. Have you tried talking to him about that? Because as difficult as the conversation may be, only he can tell you if he loves you or not. Sit down when you are both relaxed and tell him about your fears. Good luck!
Hi.i have been in a rlnship 4
Hi.i have been in a rlnship 4 almost 5 yrs now.we ve had ups and downs even broke up 4 a year wen i realised he loves another gal.it hapened tat the lady got married 2 somebody else and we remed up.always it has been along distance rlnship.early ths year,we started having arguments in every chat we had.he started behaving unusually and even told me one day tat he doesnt love me in the same measure like i do for him.again he once told me that he had another gal bt later,after insisting 4 the truth and even asked 4 a brek up,he tld me tat he had delinked himself frm the rlnship.av always tried to avoid the guy bt my heart neva allows me to.i thinks of him all day long,i dreams of him every night bt even if a tyms he texts tat he loves me,i am always in doubt cz i am neva sure if he really means it.many guys av begged 4 my love,some av went down on their knees bt none of them av eva loved or gave a chance with hopes tat 1 day thngs will get better with ths man i love.i am in a dillema nw coz thea is another man who is in deep love with me bt i am afraid of giving in coz i dnt feel the same for him and again i stl love the other guy even tho i am nt sure of his love to me.plz help.
Pole, Faith! That sounds like
Pole, Faith! That sounds like a bit of a fix. You need to find a way to make up your mind. How about not getting in touch with either of them for a while, and figure out who you really want to be with? It might be painful and take a while, but you need to find a way to be happy. Good luck!
I had a girl friend whom we
I had a girl friend whom we been together for 8months.Then things changed all over certain,she stopped calling me despite calling her severally with no answer.She picked my call a week ago and asked why she was doing so but no reason. Then I asked about the r/ship she told me to wait and she SMS that she was not ready to love now,pliz advice I lov her.
Hi Felix,
Hi Felix,
I suggested giving her some time and then meeting her so you can talk face-to-face. If her decision is that she doesn’t love you, you will have to accept that. It will be difficult, but you will eventually get through it. But have a talk. Ask her what happened and if there is anything that made her change her mind. Give her some time first though.
gud advises.it as riry
gud advises.it as riry inspired me
Hi there,
Hi there,
we are glad to hear that!
Am in relationship wth a gal
Am in relationship wth a gal a love mch.we started while we were in hgh skul.now she iz working.the problem iz she like keeping slnt 2 mi..when i kal her at night she don pick ma fon kal mybe she iz asleep..bt at mrning she don kal mi.she have stay to kam 2 my house..tel mi wat wrong
Hi Stevo,
Hi Stevo,
why don’t you talk to her about that? Sit down, have a chat, and explain to her calmly what you feel when she doesn’t return your calls. Maybe she is just very busy or always low on airtime. Unless you talk to her, you won’t know. Good luck!
i hav ths guy huz younger
i hav ths guy huz younger than me,…he lvs mie so mch bt i dnt feels the same,..av tried evrythn ndo tubreak up bt he stil insists on me,m wndrn wot 2 to du koz he says if a walk away he wil cmmt suicyd,…m nt yet ready 4 a serious relationshp he insts!
Hi Lydia,
Hi Lydia,
you need to be very careful- threatening suicide is pretty much emotional blackmail. So you need to stay calm but be strong. You can’t be with him out of pity. You need to have a calm chat with this guy and you need to explain to him that you aren’t ready for a serious relationship. He needs to understand that he is hurting you with what he is doing, and that he is out of line. It will hurt both of you, but you should do it sooner rather than later. Good luck and let us know how it went!
ambiguity is probably the
ambiguity is probably the worst mistake. U make someone leave bt still hold on, and hope that someday they will be back together with you, only to be crushed and broken even more! Its realy bad.
Very true!
Very true!
She went for another n lied
She went for another n lied to me so i married anatha lady n parted ways with her bt still she call me
Hi Ibrahim,
Hi Ibrahim,
it can be difficult to break the ties. If you don’t want her to contact you, you need to be very clear about this. And stop taking her calls. Good luck with your marriage!
we met in high school form 2
we met in high school form 2 9yrs down the line i love ger so much but my greatest fear is if we’ll make it to marriage whenever i come up with good idea to help us in future she’s very quite about it. she’s not stable but i support her i feel like am the one forcing myself to love her. i dont know to end it but i still love her so much
Hi Kenin,
Hi Kenin,
you need to do two things: find out what you really want, and talk to her. If you really want to be with her, you will find a way. And you need to talk to her about how to make your relationship work, and how to make future plans together. Maybe she is scared, or embarrassed, so having an honest conversation might clear a few things up.
I have been in a relationship
I have been in a relationship for 7 months now but he is cheating on me but he doesn’t know i found out. I don’t want to confrnt him because i wil break up with him
Hi there,
Hi there,
you need to make up your mind. Do you want to be with a guy who cheats on you? Or do you want break up with him because of the cheating. You, and only you can decide what to do. Take some time to think about it. And it might be a good idea to talk to him about it, as well.
i have a gal whom i love with
i have a gal whom i love with all my heart. for the past three days we didnt communicate due to unavoidable circumstances.
when we were communicating she used to say that she doubts my love to her. i really love her and wants to marry her but all the time she tells me to wait. its confusing me too much. when i call her, she didnt want to take my calls. after seveal trials she picked and the reasons she gave didnt please me at know.
on facebook she ddnt want even a chat with me.
i dont know what to do. infact its affecting my studies.
plz help
Pole, Eliud. That sounds
Pole, Eliud. That sounds tough. And it’s about to get tougher- you need to talk to her. Being honest and good communication are part of a good relationship. So please, take a heart and sit down with her somewhere quiet, and explain to her how you feel, and how she makes you feel when she does these things. Try to find a solution together. Good luck.
I am in a relationship with a
I am in a relationship with a lady and we love each other and we have even been planning for our future together. I however do not find her to be beautiful and infact when i introduced her to my sisters they said that she’s ‘old’. This has left me confused and infact I have lost feelings for her and I want to quit the relationship. I am afraid of hurting her. Is physical beauty important in a couple or relationship or marriage?
Hi Philip,
Hi Philip,
do you love her or don’t you love her? Beauty, or what we think is beautiful, doesn’t really matter in the end. Is she the woman you want to grow old with? Who you can imagine having children with? Who will stand by your side, through better or worse? If the answer is yes, why do you worry about her looks? I find it a bit sad that you don’t think she is beautiful when you say you love her. Are you perfect? Or will you some day lose your hair and get a belly? And do you think she would still love you if you are ‘old’? Please think about this, and make a good decision. Good luck.
Hi Admin, thanks for your
Hi Admin, thanks for your advice. I sat down and thought about it and I realized that indeed no one is perfect and am just being choosy and selfish because of what I see with other couples. I’m going to work on our relationship for the better in fact I have realized there are more positive things in our relationship which are important. thank you.
Dear Philip,
Dear Philip,
we are very glad to hear that! Good luck with your relationship.
Hi admin!! i left the country
Hi admin!! i left the country to England for 3 years & when i came back, i got that she has already gotten married, i felt weak but had to accept the situation after a 7 years relationship, for now am really afraid to love again due to my transit carrier
Hi there,
Hi there,
I’m so sorry to hear that! That must have been a real heart-break for you. But please don’t worry: you will be able to love again. Love often hurts- but thankfully, the wounds heal with time. Be open, and you will find that eventually, you will be ready to trust and love again. Good luck!
I am inlove wid a guy shuld i
I am inlove wid a guy shuld i tell him
Hi Mary,
Hi Mary,
what does he think about you, do you have any idea? Does he meet you ‘accidentally’, does he call you, does he even know you? Sharing your feelings is a good idea, but you should be gentle. Telling someone straight out that you love them might be flattering, but it’s also a bit scary. So be subtle- smile at him, make lots of eye-contact, talk to him, and if he responds positively to all that, why not ask him to join you for a drink or some coffee? And if that goes well, ask him out. If he still doesn’t get the hint, tell him that you really like him and that you could imagine being in a relationship, and see what he has to say. Good luck!
i like the way u put thinks
i like the way u put thinks in line
Thanks, Masha!
Thanks, Masha!
hi,am in a relationship since
hi,am in a relationship since august,the guy told me they didnt break up wid his first love coz she moved to another country,sometymes back she came back n wanted to visit him,the guy told me and i give him a go ahead n went hom to avoid getting hurt,she went back after 4days,the guy tells me he luv me n shows it but he is so secretive so i dont know if they still communicate,when i ask him he says i shouldnt worry he is all myn,now am not with him for 4 months i dont know if the other girl is still in the country,could they still be in love?could they be meeting now that am away?
Hi Quinn,
Hi Quinn,
I understand your worries. But your boyfriend tells you that he loves you and you have nothing to worry about. I would have a relaxed chat with him. Tell him you trust him, but that him being secretive sometimes makes this difficult. Tell him you are worried about your time apart, and try to suggest some solutions for both of you, like calling each other every evening. Be open and honest, and ask him to do the same. Good luck!
I had a bf ho really luvd me
I had a bf ho really luvd me bt wen I got pg,he dnied tht it wsnt hm.I shared with paroz n advsed to stp da rltnshp.All ma feelings 4 da guy wa gone n earlier diz ea,he claimd dat he stll luvs me tho im married.Wat if ma man msstreats me,shld I axpt back?
Hi Awuor,
Hi Awuor,
pole. I understand that you must be hurt and confused. First of all, I hope your man doesn’t mistreat you, and that’s not something you are worried about. If he does, please get some help, from friends or parents, and try to find ways to make him see that this is wrong. Secondly, if you want the other man back or not is entirely your decision. But just remember that even though he claimed he loved you, he didn’t want to take responsibility for his child. In my opinion, that’s a bad sign. So before you go back to him, you should discuss this with him, and see what he has to say for himself. Good luck!
Sometimes love is so unfair
Sometimes love is so unfair an’ it’s so unfortunate tht those we luv most dont love us back!! Hav nowadays dvlpd an iron like heart an’ i really wonder if i’ll surely hold on 2 a reltnshp one day!! May almighty help me!
Hi Carol, don’t give up! One
Hi Carol, don’t give up! One day, you will find a nice partner, who loves and respects you! Good luck!
Sometimes luv is very unfair
Sometimes luv is very unfair an’ it’s even unfortunate tht those we love most dont love us back!! Have hitherto devlpd an iron heart an’ really wonder if i’ll surely hold on 2 a rltnsh one day!! May almighty hlp me on ths!
av bin in a relationship with
av bin in a relationship with ths guy for about a year now….theaz a tym he broke up with me.it was terrible bt he came bak sayin he wasnt thinking then.bt that was jst the begining of our frequent brekups bt av alwys bon thea to accept hm bak cz am so much in love with hm that i cnt resist wen he kams bak.i dnt knw y he does ths.cud he nt b sure of wat he wats or he jst cnt b without me.nhw do i get out of ths relationship
Hi Regie, sounds like your
Hi Regie, sounds like your relationships is a real roller-coaster ride… If you are sure you want out of the relationship, you have to be firm about it. Tell him it’s over and then cut all ties. Don’t take is phone calls, don’t reply to texts and try to avoid seeing him. Both of you need to know that this is the real end and there is no going back. Good luck!
Hi.av bin married for 4yrs
Hi.av bin married for 4yrs and i hav a 2 yrs old boy.the other day we had an argument wth my huzy,and he said tht am nothng 2 him.ad infact his ex(who has hs child too.) mch bettr thn me.ati am jst a ‘picture’in tht house as far as he is concernd.am so hurtbroken.am wonderng whether i move out or not.
Hi Ann, ouch, pole! That must
Hi Ann, ouch, pole! That must have hurt. Have you talked to him about this since? I think he should realize how hurtful statements like those are and apologize. So definitely talk to him about it. Good luck
hey,i was in a rshlp with a
hey,i was in a rshlp with a guy for about 11 months it was long distance he was out of the country but during that time he kept intouch he never went a day without talking to me,i always felt it was true unfortunately a week after he came back i found a conversation with whom he claimed was bis bestftiend he was askin for nude pics and the lady friend sent him,but i forgave him cause i loved him so much but suddenly thngs were not ok we could go days without talkin,and when i ask him he would say he is busy and i shouldnt expct him to talk to me the whole day,i decided to end things i remb he told me i shouldnt expct him to stop talking to his bestfriend cause he knew her before me!i want to break down to tears everytym but am just holding myself up
Hi Anna, pole sana! I know it
Hi Anna, pole sana! I know it really hurts at the moment, but it seems to me that you have done the right thing. He was not being honest with you, and that’s what you really need in a relationship, isn’t it? So please hang in there. The pain will get less, and one day, you will be able to love again. Thank you for sharing your story!
it was early last yr wen a
it was early last yr wen a mounatainous thot startd to disturb me.ok my current gal frd i gess she hd a re/ship wid another gay i confrontd her i that i want 2 mit dat frd of urs bt diz go in vain.she even bcm annoyd wat is da solution of this
Hi Kim, that’s a tricky
Hi Kim, that’s a tricky situation. To tell her you want to meet the guy was a very bold movement- it doesn’t surprise me that she got annoyed about that. What I suggest the two of you should do is talk. Are you still in love with each other? Is she still with the other guy? Do you want to be together? Figure this out for yourself, and then with her, and base your solutions on that. Good luck!
ave bn a relationship with a
ave bn a relationship with a man bt it was hell coz we fought almost every week cz of ladies he loved besides me.ave decided to quit vt it pains
Hi Mercy, break-ups really
Hi Mercy, break-ups really hurt, and it will hurt for a while. But you will get over it at some point and you will be able to love again!
i acknowlege ua advice for
i acknowlege ua advice for brokenhearted folks, keep the spirit high..am personally inspired,,,,
Thanks, Julpa, that’s great
Thanks, Julpa, that’s great to hear!
I broke up with my chick four
I broke up with my chick four months ago after she alleged i was seeing another gal, which was not the case as i had committed to only love her and n only her. Though i had sensed she had trust issues with me, i cared less as i thought she was just being jealous. One day she texted me with a different no under prexted she was hitting on me n i flowed with the flirts, didnt know she was the one. When i realized she was the one i told her i had moved on and was seeing another gal, though it was a lie. This made her angry n she called me all sorts of name. Three months down the line, she texted me telling me she had forgiven me and she hopes i forgot the name calling. When i call she picks and sounds excited to hear from me; sometimes two weeks ago she texted me good nite, i love her so much but am still bitter coz of the abuses and immature behaviour. I would like to know is it that she wants us back?
Hi Simon, you may be bitter
Hi Simon, you may be bitter about her immature behavior, but she forgave you for hitting on what you thought was someone else. So if you still love her, I suggest the two of you should sit down together and discuss what went wrong. She wasn’t truthful to you, but you also lied to her. That can’t be the basis of a good relationship. If you want to get back together, you should make sure that you avoid drama like this in the future. Be truthful to each other and stop playing games. Games lead you nowhere. Good luck.
For me am nt sure bcz i still
For me am nt sure bcz i still love her
Hi Jim, if you still love her
Hi Jim, if you still love her, there is no reason for breaking up. If you have problems in your relationship, address them now, so they won’t become deal-breakers!
I have bin in a relationship
I have bin in a relationship wth a guy whom i love so much,one day i tried 2 call the boy,another gal received my call,recently he told my cuzo that he dont feel me .i have tried to tel the man we cometogether n talk over the issue he dont wnt,when i ask him if he stil loves me he dont answer me.plz advise me on the way 4ward .
Dear Veronica, I’m sorry to
Dear Veronica, I’m sorry to say that, but this doesn’t look very good. If he doesn’t want to talk to you about the issue and if he doesn’t reply to you when you ask him if he loves you, it seems like he is playing games. I would tell him that he has one more chance to talk to you, and if he doesn’t you will leave him. Leaving him will hurt, a lot, but it’s better to go through the pain now instead of dragging it out. And what you really should have is a man who loves you as much as you love him, who respects you and who doesn’t play games. And if that isn’t him, you shouldn’t waste too much time on this relationship. Goof luck!
hea,hav bn rshp with a guy
hea,hav bn rshp with a guy whom we schl 2gethet.i got pregnat n we decided to abotr it aftr wards ur rshp bcame worse.he calld me n said he wants a break of 2wks.frm that he never kols or replies ma text.i feel lyk moving on bt i stl love hm
Hi Toto, to go through a
Hi Toto, to go through a stressful time like you did can take a real toll on a relationship. Unfortunately, it seems like it was too much for your relationship. I suggest you have a long conversation with your boyfriend where you discuss all these things and try to decide on a way forward. Maybe clearing the air will help, or maybe it will just make you realise more that you want to move on. If that’s the case, it will still hurt, but then at least you know that this is what you really want. Good luck
My gal wants to leave, Though
My gal wants to leave, Though its just a journey n she will be back, i’m feeling like this loneliness will kill me. We love each other madly
Hi Ger, awww, that’s sweet.
Hi Ger, awww, that’s sweet. How long is she going to be away for? If she is going abroad to study or for a long period of time, I understand that it seems like a very long time. But you can come up with ideas to stay in touch. You can message each other, use Facebook and send emails. You should have a talk about this, and discuss any problems that may arise while she is away. It’s important to be honest and trust each other in a long-distance relationship. If you communicate well and have the same expectations, there is a good chance you will make it through. Good luck!
Ave bin married 4 4yrs with 1
Ave bin married 4 4yrs with 1 kid,ave bin thru separatiom 2 tyms with my man,al he asks is a 2nd chance,n now again he is up 2 his bad bhaviours lyk mistreating me,unfaithfulness etc n we’ve separated again.i dont love him,but he text n cal in excuse of wntng 2 talk 2 the kid,iwnt him completely out of my lyf but the kid luvs the dad so much,plz advice.
Hi Noni,
Hi Noni,
It’s good that you are set on wanting him out of your life. Now you have to make it clear to him that he has to stick to some rules. Of course he can see his kids- they are his after all, and they should spend some time with them, too. So make some rules, for days and times he can see them, or call them. Make sure that he knows that he better stick to them. Make it clear to him that you are only doing this for the kids, not for him, and you want nothing to do with him. It may sound harsh, but he needs to know that he won’t get another chance.
Hi,v got a problem with my bf
Hi,v got a problem with my bf,we v been staying together for two months but he got another job n moved to another town,he has been behaving strangely of late,,if i text him he says zilihang hakupata,i call smtyms he does’t pick nor bothers to call back.Could he be breaking the relationship n if so how will i deal with it,am so scared.
Pole, Rose. I know this must
Pole, Rose. I know this must hurt you. The best thing you can do is to give him some space, and then talk to him. Tell him what you are afraid of and ask him directly if he wants to break up. If he says no but his strange behavior continues, you have to make a decision: do you want to be with him if he acts that way? It won’t be easy, and if you decide against the relationship, it will be painful. But don’t forget that you deserve the best!
i had 2 break up with my gal
i had 2 break up with my gal & the situation was so bad tht i used SMS and i provoked her so badly coz i had tried to accomodate her bt she could never see it,…im sure i made the best move though i find myself missing her!
Hi Peter, no matter how
Hi Peter, no matter how difficult the situation is, breaking up through SMS is the worst thing you can do. If for some reason you are unable to talk to your partner face-to-face, at least call. So it’s not surprising she wasn’t happy. And even though you might think it was the best move, before you do something like this next time, think of how you would feel if a woman broke up with you through SMS…
4 me am in love with some 1
4 me am in love with some 1 who don’t have tym 2 spend with me or care about my felling.but always tell me she lov me.at fist everything was right but know a week can’t go with out problem.i have decide 2 end this relationship no matter wat.am heartbroken coz is like am loosing some1 whom i always think is the best 2 me.
Pole, Wizzy Frank! Break-ups
Pole, Wizzy Frank! Break-ups hurt! But eventually, you will get better and then you can start to look for someone who loves you as much as you love her. Good luck and all the best!
Hi, can longdistance
Hi, can longdistance relationship work 4real??
Ah, Mishka, that’s a tough
Ah, Mishka, that’s a tough question. And I can’t really tell you yes or no. If it will work depends on many factors- and good communication is the most important one. If you can communicate well, and you see each other occasionally, or even better, you know that there is an end to the distance at some point, it can work. But just as with ‘normal’ relationships: sometimes it works, sometimes is doesn’t. But certainly, if you want to make it work, you have to work hard! Good luck!
8yrs in relationship but i
8yrs in relationship but i was left like takataka i still cry up to date
Pole sana, Janira. Eventually
Pole sana, Janira. Eventually you will feel better. And a man who treats you like garbage doesn’t deserve you anyway!
hi,we broke up wit ma bf,he
hi,we broke up wit ma bf,he moved on bt now wants us 2reconcile.how do u 4give him
Hi Lillian, it’s not a matter
Hi Lillian, it’s not a matter of how to forgive him but if you want to forgive him. If you do, then the forgiving part shouldn’t be too hard. Generally, but especially of you aren’t sure, I suggest you sit down with him and discuss what went wrong and how you are going to deal with your relationship this time. Only get back together if you are sure you want it, otherwise there is a great chance that you will end up in the same fix. Good luck!
hi! am also married.my
hi! am also married.my problem is tat ma wyf is still in collage and in june last year i discover she was having n affair wit anothr guy.i quiz her a bout the issue and she told me her sister gave the guy’s no. to her,on learning that i decide to give her a second chance.bt ma quiz cn 1.Can a lady terminate affair with a guy realy. 2. How can I know she has fully reform. wat r the signs
Hi Langat,
Hi Langat,
It’s good you decided to give her another chance. Now, you need to build up trust again. You need to sit down with your wife and decide a way forward. You need to re-establish your relationship. If she can really end it- she is the only person who can tell you. And there are no signs- you have to trust her. Good communication is the key for that. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
Been in a relationship 4 3
Been in a relationship 4 3 years bt cnt 4get ma ex. Every luv song i hear its him dat i think of. Ma lover is nt making any effort to make me feel luvd. What do i do.
Hi Lyn,
Hi Lyn,
Sorry to hear that. If your lover doesn’t make you feel loved, and you can’t forget your ex, it seems that there is something going wrong in your relationship.ntalk to your partner. Discuss what’s going wrong and try to find a solution together. If you can’t find a solution, you should think about what you want from a relationship, and if you are willing to remain in your relationship. God luck!
Hi,i had a gf whom i luved
Hi,i had a gf whom i luved vry much bt i realized dat she was having an affair wid anatha guy,so i broke up wid ha,she cried bt i dcded 2 move on bt nw she is even usin ha frds 2 try en convnc me 2 gve ha anada chanc rily i don knw wat 2 do
Hi Julius, you have to decide
Hi Julius, you have to decide what you want. If you want to give her another chance and if you think you can trust her again. If so, go for it. If not, try to stay away from her for a while. If you aren’t sure, why don’t you try to be friends for a while and see what happens? You are really the only one to find out what you want. Good luck!
I ave gal we ave bin 2getha
I ave gal we ave bin 2getha frm august until nw bt she is telin mi we ned 2 brk up bcoz of ha skul welfare nd i doubt ha coz of late amechange aalot coz b4 i she had antha dude whu hrtbrk ha nd i reformed ha lyf nd ha lv xo tel mi ha rizon as 2 y she we brkup culd it b bcoz she has had enuogh of mi or found antha dude i dont really get it plz help mi b4 its late nd b4 my hrt’s condition gets worse.
Hi Symorussian, there is only
Hi Symorussian, there is only one person who can tell you why she is behaving that way, and that’s your girlfriend. Sit down and talk. Tell her what’s bothering you and try to find a solution that’s working for the two of you. Good communication is the key to a relationship and you should really be talking to your girlfriend. Good luck!
I ave gal we ave bin 2getha
I ave gal we ave bin 2getha frm august until nw bt she is telin mi we ned 2 brk up bcoz of ha skul welfare nd i doubt ha coz of late amechange aalot coz b4 i she had antha dude whu hrtbrk ha nd i reformed ha lyf nd ha lv xo tel mi ha rizon as 2 y she we brkup culd it b bcoz she has had enuogh of mi or found antha dude i dont really get it plz help mi b4 its late nd b4 my hrt’s condition gets worse.
hey i brok up wth my ex now 4
hey i brok up wth my ex now 4 months ago av arldy mved on bt any tym we chat i feel lyk am in love wth im bt i don wana that n i don wana stp chating wth im too….i also feels lyk myking love wth im snc he z the one wo brok my vrgnty…plz advice me b4 i fall into tempttn
Hi Loise, why did you break
Hi Loise, why did you break up with him? And would you be willing to forgive him if its anything he did. And then talk to him. Talk to him about what went wrong and see if you can patch things up again. Good luck!
hi,mine is just a question.is
hi,mine is just a question.is there really true love.and how will you know that a guy loves you genuinely.
Hi Bianca, that’s a very
Hi Bianca, that’s a very difficult question, and there is no simple answer. It depends how you define true love for yourself. And as for knowing if a guy loves you genuinely- equally difficult. I guess only time can really tell. But trusting someone and good communication can be good indicators. Tough questions, and I can’t give you straight answers, sorry!
great!!.thank u 4da advise.
great!!.thank u 4da advise.
You are welcome!
You are welcome!
You are welcome!
You are welcome!
I am in a relationship with a
I am in a relationship with a recently joint college lady i love her so much, we’ve been together be4 she joint college now that she is in holiday she doesn’t want to be near me she just txt me with lve msgs i doubt wether the rltshp is still ok or in another rltshp plz help.
Hi Kipkoech, she is still
Hi Kipkoech, she is still sending you love messages, so it can’t be all bad. Give her some space, let her know you are there for her if she needs you and let her know you love her. And then talk to her. Tell her you are worried and scared. And then try to find solutions that work for both of you. Good luck!
theaz tis gal we ve bin
theaz tis gal we ve bin dating 4 seven yearz now,it was two yearz back wen i realized that she was cheating me wt other men,i tried 2 break up wt her bt neva worked,the thng iz i lv her xo much,Advice plx am dead wt thoughts!!
Hi Calvin, you have to make a
Hi Calvin, you have to make a choice. Do you want to be with her or not? I assume you have talkies to her about the cheating, and nothing has changed. If you haven’t talked to her, do it now. Why is she cheating on you? Talk about what you can do, what her cheating does to you and what solutions you can come up with. If this hasn’t worked, but news to make a decision. Do you want to be with a partner who cheats on you? Your choice. Yes, your decision might hurt, but that’s unfortunately what love does sometimes- it hurts. But eventually, you will get over it. Good luck.
i have been in a rshp for
i have been in a rshp for 3yrs 4 months now…with a guy we were together in campus..now we have 4months old dota he acceptd te pg..but i realised he has 5yrs old boy bt he hadnt told me before..now he tells me hes confusd who to marry btwn us..wat do i do wt thz guy move on or…..am confusd…
Pole, Emmy. You have to make
Pole, Emmy. You have to make a decision. This guy seems to have been cheating on you for quiet a while, and what’s worse, doesn’t seem to tell sorry about it. Not only is that unfair, but it’s also putting you at risk. You could have gotten an STD from him. Please keep that in mind when you make your decision. Nobody can tell you what to do, just keep in mind that you deserve someone you loves you and who Is faithful to you! Good luck!
we had sex together then the
we had sex together then the same night he askd me to break up with him..
Daniella, I guess he wanted
Daniella, I guess he wanted to make sure he got some action before being single again. Not very nice, is it? What did you do, did you break up?
am in a rship wid a guy who
am in a rship wid a guy who always gets upset weneva he sees me chartin wid ada guys on fb.he neva got tym 4 me en he doesnt want me 2 flirt wid ada guys.wat cud be da problem?
do u think overdoing xam
do u think overdoing xam things like communication can lead to lack of interest or even break up in a r/ship
Hi Josh, as far as we are
Hi Josh, as far as we are concerned, you can’t overdo communication. Only if you know what’s going on with your partner, what he or she wants, what goals he or she has, fears, dreams, wishes, feelings, only then can a relationship work in the long term. That doesn’t mean you need to be yapping to each other all day long, but instead, you should be having good-quality conversations regularly. If you then find out that you don’t find your partner interesting, most likely that would have been the case some time down the line anyway, communication or not. Does this make sense?
hi,av courted with ma man for
hi,av courted with ma man for 4years.late last ea w agreed 2stay together until aug this ea we separated due to certain disagrement.he moved on with anatha woman.now he is on his knees,apologies n wants us to reconcile back am confused.hw do i handle this?
Hi Lynn,
Hi Lynn,
You need to make a decision- do you want to be in a relationship with him, or not?
Even if you love him, do you think he is treating you right, and do you think you can forgive him?
It’s up to you what you do, but please take some time to think about it.
If you decide to not take him back, take some time away from him. It will hurt, but in the end, you will get over it and find somebody who loves you and trusts you and is honest to you.
If you don’t want to break up, you need to still talk to him, because of what happened. So if he is willing to change and you give him, another chance, this would also be an option.
But give yourself to think about it!
Good luck and let us know if you have any more questions!
vry good advice love matters
vry good advice love matters
Thank you 🙂
Thank you 🙂
av bn in a long distance r
av bn in a long distance r/ship for two years with this guy bt its lyk al the tym he is kolin me nems n fillin insecure resently he confessed to av cheated on me bt asked for forgivenness I find it very hard to trust im again thou I love im so much wat shud I do
Hi Debbie,
Hi Debbie,
You need to make a decision- do you want to be in a relationship with him?
Even if you love him, do you think she is treating you right? And do you think you can trust him again?
It’s up to you what you do, but please take some time to think about it. Don’t let him pressure you into anything.
If you decide to break up, take some time away from him. It will hurt, but in the end, you will get over it and find somebody who loves you and trusts you and is honest to you.
If you don’t want to break up, you need to still talk to him, because he can’t really go on like this, can he? He also needs to apologize for cheating on you. If he is willing to change and you give him another chance, this would also be an option.
But give yourself to think about it!
Good luck and let us know if you have any more questions!
ok,for myn i dnt knw hw 2 put
ok,for myn i dnt knw hw 2 put it bt i used to live with my guy bt it kem a tym i saw sum sms of a lady whu chats with her almst evryday .wen i told him we quarld and it went well 4 sum tym bt as tym went by i saw lyk there is sumthng fishy going on n i dcded to kip my mouth shut coz i ddnt nid stres at dat tym as i was 8mnths pregnant.i seized talking to him and i was doing thngz my own way.he left without evn saying dat he has broke up with me or wat.i talkd to his parents n he was kold and asked the rzn y he left we n i was expecting he said i dnt trust him n i alwayz thnk dat hez in another r/ship.since then he has neva comnctd i tried kolng him,sms we tok bt no response.when i delivered her mum kem n stayd with me til my mum kem.he only kem the 2nd day after i gave birth n stayed 4 les than an hr without evn saying a word 2 me n up2 date he has nt kam bak n he dsnt provide n even kol to knw hw we r doing n my daughter is nw 3wks old.so nw do i kol it quit or i continue waiting mayb he’l kam?
Dear Sharon, congratulations
Dear Sharon, congratulations to your new baby girl!
Unfortunately, it seems that your relationship is not doing to well. Please talk to him. Think about what you want, and tell him that. Do you want to break up, or do you want to understand what’s going on? And how do you see the future for him and you and him and his daughter? If he is unwilling to talk to you, involve his parents. After all , they are the grandparents of your daughter, and you seem to get along with them. Ask them for help to communicate with him. But whatever you do, make sure that you know the way forward. You can’t keep waiting for him to come around. Make your decisions, and then see if and how he wants to be involved. Good luck!
She was sleeping with my
She was sleeping with my brothers and i broke out with her.
Ouch, pole Oscar, that must
Ouch, pole Oscar, that must have hurt!
I’ve bn datin thz guy for
I’ve bn datin thz guy for smtym now bt weneva we get into a fight he brings a girl to hz place en uploads unpleasant pics on his fb a/c. I wnt to break up with him bt he kips on beging me en givin excusez of y i shld nt leave hm.wat shld i do?
Hi Lucy, you need to make a
Hi Lucy, you need to make a decision for yourself- do you want to stay with him or not? Could you forgive him, when he promises to do better? Could you trust him again? If you are sure you don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore, then be firm. Tell him that you don’t want to be with him anymore, and give him reasons for this. And then, you need to cut off all communication for a while. He needs to understand that it’s over and stop begging to get you back. So set clean boundaries and make sure that he doesn’t think he still has a chance! Good luck!
hi,thank you 4 your advise
hi,thank you 4 your advise.this man ws ma everiting and did everiting 4me since college.we done so such 2getha n stil ilove him even though he wrong me.
Hi Lyn, when you have been
Hi Lyn, when you have been together so long, it hurts more. You have shared a big chunk of your lives together. But, even if you are unsure right now, you will be okay at some point. Just keep believing in yourself!
I met a lady on facebook & i
I met a lady on facebook & i rily fal in love wth her.I decided 2 tel her the truth abt ma feelings on her,she has also falen in deep love wth me.She send me her photos nd I also send her my photos.It has taken abt 2 weeks nd we r rily communicating 2 each other.She just completed 4m 4 exams this year & she says that she loves me & she’s wiling 2 marry me in future.Am in college & truly I rily feel her bt we’v never met…can this rily work?
Hi Paul, I know you are
Hi Paul, I know you are looking for a clear answer, but only time can tell. It’s been only a short time since you met here, and as time goes on, you might see that your feelings change. But just keep going right now. Enjoy your time, get to know each other better, and find ways to make it work. Take it one step at a time and see what happens. Be honest and open to each other and communicate a lot. Those are the keys to a good relationship. Good luck!
Hey..am in a tricky situation
Hey..am in a tricky situation..am in love with thz guy and he loves me too..problem is..her mother is pressuring hm to get married n even chose a wife for her..bt the guy is nt into it n dnt want to..bt he respect her mom,but he is also a muslim..plz help
Hi there, wow, that’s a
Hi there, wow, that’s a tricky situation. Has he tried to talk to his mum? It may be a long shot, but mothers do what the best for their children. He can try to convince her that he will be happiest with you. Maybe you can also meet her and the two of you can appeal to her to reconsider her choice of wife for her son. Keep in mind though that culture , religion and family play a big role in many people’s lives, and that it is hard to stand up against them.
Good luck!
hi,av tried to let go bt it
hi,av tried to let go bt it has so difficult.how do you let go?
Hi Lyn,
Hi Lyn,
Letting go can take a long time, especially if you have been together for a while. Be patient. It doesn’t happen over nit, but after a few weeks, and sometimes even months or in a few cases years, you will see that it’s starting to hurt less. And stay away from your ex partner. The closer you are the more difficult it is to let go.
Good luck!
Please help me,I’ve been
Please help me,I’ve been dating this guy for 3 years,now am pregnant and he started misbehaving i hacked his phone and found out he’s having an affair,ever since he blames me for his actions,am confused 4 months pregnant and he daent want the relationship,i love him very much
Pole, Rossy!
Pole, Rossy!
I can imagine how confused you are right now.
And it’s a tricky situation. Your boyfriend cheated on you, and that will be difficult to come to terms with. I think I would give him and myself some space for a while. Think about what you want and how you can see your relationship in the future. Or if you even imagine having a relationship. And then, after a while, sit down with him. Talk about what happened, but stay calm. Try to come up with some solutions and ways forward before you talk to him, and present those to him.but he needs to realize that he needs to change, too. He can’t go on like this. But before you talk to him, please make sure you figure out what you want. Good luck!
Hi,i’m in lv with a woman i
Hi,i’m in lv with a woman i never knew she was married.she önly inform me later after giving me a date of which it was irrestable to me.to make it worst we are working in the same statiön.h’w can i break it without hurting her.
Hi Koricks,
Hi Koricks,
Honestly, I’m more worried about you than her. Being attracted to someone is okay, but they should be honest about their elation ship status. She is married and she didn’t tell you- that’s dishonest to both you and her husband.
Make it clear to her that you don’t want to get in the way of her marriages. And then try to stay away from her as much as possible, even though it’s difficult because of your work. But you need some distance to give yourself some space and time. It will be difficult, but I’m sure in the end, you’ll be okay. Good luck!
Thank u 4 ur words
Thank u 4 ur words
You are most welcome, Dorcas!
You are most welcome, Dorcas!
i just had an argument with
i just had an argument with my bf and we didnt talk for arnd 3 wks,later when i called him he told me he had anther gal. am so depressed coz i stil love hm so much,what shld i do?
Pole, Maureen.
Pole, Maureen.
To be honest, it sounds a bit like the fight was a good excuse for him to get out of the relationship. Otherwise, he should have made an effort to make up with you before getting a new girlfriend.
For you, it’s time to start coming to terms with this. You need some time and space, so try to stay away from him. Seeing him will remind you of your relationship. Spend time with friends and family, find a new hobby or join a club or group. Meet new people, and spend time doing the things you want to do.
And, even though it seems impossible now, things will be less painful and you will feel better. It will happen, I promise. Good luck!
Hi love matters!I have a
Hi love matters!I have a female friend that I have dated for now 9 months .we first met at a work station before i rejoined school for further studies .Distance is proving to be an impediment dearly.Furthermore,she is a working class ,and now wants to settle down.For sure ,am still in campus and it seems she wants a break-up and i am not for it. Pliz advise.
Hi Vincent,
Hi Vincent,
That’s a tricky situation.
First about the distance. To make sure the relationship can work, you need to have rules and agree with your girlfriend on a few things. For example, you could agree to have a long phone call every weekend and a shorter one every other day. Or regular text messages, or chats. And make sure that both of you have the same expectations. Being in sync on the little things will ensure that the larger picture works out.
And about getting married: marriage means different things to different people. It sounds like she needs the security of knowing you will be hers, even though you are apart right now. If you are planning on marrying her, why not get engaged, but postpone the wedding until you are both done with your studies? Either way, you need to talk to her about this. Tell her she is important to you, but you think you should finish your studies first. Ask what she thinks about this, and see if you can come to a solution that works for both of you.
Good luck!
hey…,was in a 7 month
hey…,was in a 7 month relationship with a guy….at first it was awesome..he used to communicate.,send lovely texts..,n make me feel so special…buh after sometime he started making excuses..,said we talk to much n tht he’s not good in communication…so i let him be…but later..after a week of silence,he wats app’d me saying he needed a break…i asked him why..he said he was experiencing an emotional turmoil….,,so i let him have it…,he later confessed he wanted a break up…I was so hurt..buh now im fine. 🙂
Hi there, yeah, it’s too bad,
Hi there, yeah, it’s too bad, but sometimes relationships just don’t work out. Good to hear you are fine now!
True..
True..
hey i love the break up
hey i love the break up article…..am so in love with a guy we’ve had communication problems with him for quite a long tym now.a week goes without him talking to me unless i start a conversation with him of which it ends so fast.When we talk bout it he says its because his busy but i find him in facebook updating statuses and that really pisses me….
what should i do about it i cant get him outta my mind av tried i cant seem to let go help me coz am freakn
Hi Lacey,
Hi Lacey,
Sounds like it is time to sit down with him and talk. Tell him that it hurts you when he doesn’t communicate. Try to find a solution that works for both of you, like phone calls at certain times of the day or week. Or maybe there is another problem he has, but he isn’t talking to you about it. Ask him, and see if anything comes up. A relationship won’t work without communication. See if you can patch this up before braking up. Good luck!
Yeah am experiencing it nw
Yeah am experiencing it nw.Just recently she was lyk i thnk it wunt wrk btwn us anymore nd trust me that realy hurted cz i neva expctd it…she gave an excuse of havn feelngs fr her Ex bt wen i gt into her nerves she said i was argumentative in wich i dd dat out of concern
Hi Armaan,
Hi Armaan,
It’s a good step that you already got to the bottom of the problem. Because now you know what to work on. And ask her to help you. Ask her to point out to you when you get too argumentative. Ask her to help you make her feel more comfortable. Together you can work on it! Good luck!
am so much in luv with a guy
am so much in luv with a guy he provides me wth evrythng that i need he tells me he luv me bt i can c he is nt straight foreward am am feelng 2 leav him bt i don’t imgn i wil pas through that pain help me plz
Hi Tessy, before we answer
Hi Tessy, before we answer your question, what makes you think that he isn’t straight forward?
my boyfriend broke up with me
my boyfriend broke up with me in april 2012 after i had an accident. i must say it pains me to date. iv never understood why bt i thank GOD im picking the broken pieces slowly by slowly.the most frustrating part is tht he still kols me and wants me back bt once beaten twice shy! i believe everything happens 4 a reason and i’l get the man tht deserves me someday!
Hi Lydiah, stay strong! You
Hi Lydiah, stay strong! You have come a long way, and you will be able to date again and find a man who deserves you! Good luck!
my boyfriend broke up with me
my boyfriend broke up with me in april 2012 after i had an accident. i must say it pains me to date. iv never understood why bt i thank GOD im picking the broken pieces slowly by slowly.the most frustrating part is tht he still kols me and wants me back bt once beaten twice shy! i believe everything happens 4 a reason and i’l get the man tht deserves me someday!
Ave bin in a rship 4 the past
Ave bin in a rship 4 the past 7 months wid dis gal whom ave given the best i kan….she ave secrets dat she neva says a thing dat ave tried to tok ova bat all in vain…am veri crias wid ha n i lov ha wid all my heart…i kol ha every moment bat she alwaiz kol mi wen she wants to know smth not related to lav….she uses tricks to get wat she wants n i hate dis…she smtimez disappears from home 4 several naitz n wen i ask ha baut it,it bkamz an argument….i had threatened ha wid a breakup n she told mi she dönt kea…dis almost killed mi.wem i diskava a negative thing,i really don kip quite..wen i raise an issue,it bkamz an argument..i am such kind of a mam who dont lyk to c his e4tz wasted….kan breakin up wid ha b the solution?
Hi Ericks, it seems like
Hi Ericks, it seems like something is going wrong with your relationship. You have tried your best, but it’s still jot working. I would suggest sitting down with her one more time and explaining what her behavior makes you feel like. Tell her that it’s hurting you, and try to come up with solutions you can Botha free to. Don’t accuse her of anything, but make it clear that something needs to change. If she still doesn’t care and continues the way she has been going, I am afraid you will have to think about ending the relationships. But that’s up to you, only you can decide if you want to break up or not. It’s often a difficult decision, but it helps to ask yourself if you are happy and if this is really what you want out of a relationship. Good luck!
Am in a r/shp wth a guy u was
Am in a r/shp wth a guy u was married wth one kid bt by the time we knew each other he used to stay with his wife bt bcz we used to communite wth him the wife run away and now he started proposing 2 me tht he want to marry me and immediately he introduced me to his mother and now this wife wants to came back she even went home and find this wife bt he even didnt stay thea he immediately came wea i stay n told. i lv this guy madly bt the problem is he wants the kid n am afraid the kid may make the mother came back n am not ready to be a second wife.
Hello Felister, it’s okay you
Hello Felister, it’s okay you aren’t ready to be second wife. I would recommend talking to him about your worries. He seems to be in love with you and want you, but because he has a child, he will also always keep the child’s best interests in mind. So please talk to him, let him know you are scared of him taking his wife back, and see what he says. Be calm and don’t threaten him, but try to find a solution that you are both happy with. Maybe you can even include is former wife, and come up with ways for her to see and spend time with her child without being a threat for your relationship. Just imagine what you would do, if you were in their positions. What would you want, what would you be scare of? Keep those things in mind, and we are sure you will come to a good compromise. Good luck!
Am contempleting breaking up
Am contempleting breaking up with my wife of one and half years. She disclosed to me she was hiv+ while 7 months pregnant. I had received information from people around that she was hiv+ 3 months after marriage. I didnt believe and I asked her she denied. Atime rushes appeared between her breasts and sked her if she had visted vct. She confirmed, when Igave her money to go to hospital she told me tho doctor said the rushes were due to joto. at the 7th month she broke the news to me she was hiv+. we have been together till she gave birth and the doctor advised exclussive breast feeding for first 6months . Iwas opposed to it but eventuallt gave in . after 6 months she,s till breast feeding i ask her the status of the kind which she says isnegative. then why are you still risking. i dont understand and suspect that the kid is infected. we completely dont communicate in house its me who just dont want to talk to her becoz i feel she is a liar. Her best friends are neigbours telling them how bad iam,this makes me sick. i have warned her against discussing our affairs with outsiders but to no avail.pliz help
Hi there,
Hi there,
you warned her against discussing our affairs with outsiders, and you yourself are discussing them with us? An interesting concept.
Reading your story makes me think you both could have done better. If you suspected your wife to be HIV-positive, why didn’t you go to a VCT with her? (By the way, I hope you are getting tested regularly). I hope you realize that you put yourself at risk of HIV when you had sex with her while suspecting she is HIV positive. As for the rashes and the breastfeeding- they could have been a heat-rash, and six months is the recommended time for breast-feeding now, even for women who are HIV positive. And, neither you or your wife can know at this point if your baby is positive or negative. As long as your wife is breastfeeding, it will have her antibodies, so he or she will test positive regardless of the actual status.
Honestly, I think your wife is afraid of you, and you, at the moment, are giving her no reason to trust her. You aren’t talking, you seem to show no interest in her and the baby- what else is she supposed to do other than talk to neighbours? Just imagine, having to tell your husband you are HIV-positive. That is super-scary. And if she is afraid, it’s even scarier.
So you must figure out now what you want. Do you want your relationship to continue and work out? If you do, you need to start working on it. Talk to her. Nicely. See what’s bothering her and how she thinks you can make the relationship work.
If you don’t want the relationship- be honest to her.
Let us know if this helps.
I have been with a guy for
I have been with a guy for almost 5 years and we love each other very much and hope to get married. But I left our country a year ago and am still faithful. Of late our communication is a bit down, like we hardly talk for a long time. We really want each other but I don’t know when am going home and guys keep approaching me. A part of me really wants to break the relationship and move on and a part of me wants to stay. The temptation is so strong. Am really confused
Hi Bella,
Hi Bella,
if you really want your relationship to work, you have to make an effort.
Get in touch with your guy and see if you can come up with some rules. For example, make sure to chat at least once a week for at least an hour, over Skype, Facebook chat, or whichever way works for both of you. Send emails and text messages, but make an effort to stay in touch. See if this works. If it doesn’t, you will have to start thinking of other ways, or possibly about breaking up. But give it a try first- you say you love him and want to marry him, so put some effort into keeping the relationship up. Good luck!
she broke our three years
she broke our three years relationship via SMS three weeks ago, she claimed she got married coz she wanted a kid and not out of love. We have had a very smooth relationship for over a year. I have been there for her by all means and we were in a long distance relation but we visited each other frequently. I felt bad and had to talk to her face to face and so i met her three days ago and she was very emotional and really apologised, she confessed she still loves me and her marriage was out of desperation for a kid. She started giving up on me wen i told her i would first do my Master Degree and then after that settle down but she promised that she would wait for me. She got married behind my back and told me three days later, mark you, we were together a week before she allegedly got married . She is my first love and i love her so so much. When i saw her on Sunday she looked at me like before, with so much love in her eyes and she confessed she loves me. From yesterday she has been asking me what she should do coz she is already regretting as she rushed the decision to get married and now she knows marriage is no joke. What should i tell her?. she is my first love and so i am to her
Minjire, pole sana, that
Minjire, pole sana, that sounds like a very sad story.
This is a tough situation to be in. She is married, but it seems you both want each other. And you are both confused. Is that a good summary of the situation?
You both need to figure out what you want once and for all. You can’t keep dancing around each other for another few years and then decide that you aren’t for each other after all.
Take some time to decide what you want. Even some time away from her might be a good idea. But do figure out what you want.
Good luck!
Hae. I love her so much,but
Hae. I love her so much,but the problem is that: she’s far when meet she complaint tht am not responsible. Thats hurt me because she normaly not communcate when she is far. Please advice should i end the r/ship and go one with my own life?
Hi Nahashon,
Hi Nahashon,
sorry to hear that!
Don’t expect love to be enough to carry you through a long-distance relationship. Every relationship is hard work, and long-distance relationship even more so. Both of you need to be fully committed to the relationship and to making it work. And you need some rules when it comes to communication that you should both stick to. Don’t expect a fairy tale. Good and open communication is the way to go.
So give it another try, but set some ground rules before you start over again. Good luck!
I fell inlove with him even
I fell inlove with him even before he asked me out. We get into the relationship and it was going on well, back when i was in school he do tell me tru phone call that he has something to tell me until i comes back from school, i was so eager and scared cus i don’t know what he wanted to tell me. Not until when i came back from school he told me that he is going out with my cousin sister before he met me. That the love came naturally and he asked me out. So i decided to break the relationship. But he insist that i should not do that to hurt him cus he really loved me. So i asked him hope he love my sister, he said yes but i still insist in asking him why he asked me out when he is going out with my cousin sister, he still tells me the love just came naturally and he followed his heart. He said i should not break the relationship, but i really love this guy even before he told me about my cousin sister. Plz help me out, should i go or stay in the relationship
Hi Blessing,
Hi Blessing,
I’m not sure why you are so concerned. Your partner was honest with you and told you what happened. I can imagine that this might have shocked you, but it seems he didn’t cheat or did anything to hurt either one of you more than was absolutely necessary.
So please, try to think about what the relationship means to you and why you are so upset. Essentially, you are the only who can decide what to do.
Good luck!
I met this guy 4yrz ago.we
I met this guy 4yrz ago.we fell in love but he neva told me he’s married wth 2kidz.n even tho i came 2know abt it i stl loved him.we wld fyt n make up bt end last month i brokeup wth him thro sms.i gave my all 2him n it painz.i later met another man bt unfortunatly he fell inlove wth a collegue at work n neva told me till i found out after i gave ma all 2him.is it because im having a son dats y im neva lucky wen it kams 2relationships??i cry every single day n i hate love!
Pole sana, Connie.
Pole sana, Connie.
It seems that you had some bad luck with men in the past.
I’m sure it’s not because of your son. Please don’t hate love, and doing give up. You deserve love and a good man. Be patient, and if will come to you!
I met this guy 4yrz ago.we
I met this guy 4yrz ago.we fell in love but he neva told me he’s married wth 2kidz.n even tho i came 2know abt it i stl loved him.we wld fyt n make up bt end last month i brokeup wth him thro sms.i gave my all 2him n it painz.i later met another man bt unfortunatly he fell inlove wth a collegue at work n neva told me till i found out after i gave ma all 2him.is it because im having a son dats y im neva lucky wen it kams 2relationships??i cry every single day n i hate love!
I wanted 2 breakup with my
I wanted 2 breakup with my boyfriend 4 mnths ago bt i realized i was pregnant, am a student and i need hs support, what shud i do
Hi Ashley,
Hi Ashley,
Staying with him because you are pregnant and need his support doesn’t sound like the right reason to be in a relationship, does it.
Do you think there is anything that could change so you want to be back in a proper relationship with him? Talk to him. See how he feels. It will be difficult, but staying with someone you don’t love isn’t honest, either. Good luck!
therez this chik i fell in
therez this chik i fell in luv with abt a yr ago,, we luved each other n committed to our relationship..aboout 5 months into relatnship things went weared n we broke up,reasons wa that we romanced n she became pregnant n since we wa not ready to take responsibility i adviced her to take e pill n she refused, adviced on abortion n.she declined,, before the romance she refused for any form of protection….so laiter on she suspected me of having an affare,.smthing that waznt true..so she accused me of bng a player,,, it went deeper n we realy abused each other on txts,,, .so laiter on aftr a month she came bak appologyzin that she ddnt mean it n that she want me bak coz shes realized hw much she luvs me…she terminated the ball aftr smtym! wat shud i do coz she realy abused me n told me that she luved me out of pity n that she still had feelings for her x….plz advice
Hi Molten,
Hi Molten,
To me, it sounds like you are blaming her for what happened. But then, what was your role in this? You slept with her without protection and when she got pregnant, you left her. That’s hardly fair, is it?
And then, if you don’t have feelings for her anymore, and she doesn’t for you, what’s the problem? Then at least nobody gets hurt again now.
So talk to her, see what you both think, and take it from there. Good luck. And please- protection is as much a man’s responsibility than a woman’s.
I was in love 4good 1yr now n
I was in love 4good 1yr now n it came 2 happen de lady send a text 2me saying she want 2chill n as i asked due 2wch reasn she didn’t reply and am now worried coz up 2now no 1 bothers 2 text or call.
Hi Martin,
Hi Martin,
Give her a bit of space. Text her sometimes to let her know you care about her, but give her a week or two to think about what she wants. Maybe she has problems right now, of feels she needs to think about things, so just give her what she needs for a bit. But then, after a while, you will need to talk to her and see where you stand in your relationship.
It’s 2nd week after callin ma
It’s 2nd week after callin ma gf ..n she was pregnnt 4 me….. the call was received by a man ….who exactly said he will b takin care of my lovin gal wth his condition…………….i fainted 4 1hr ……almost gettng mad bt i prayed 4 courage ….whc hlped me 4 3dayz ….now m thnking goin 4 her …
am confused wat 2 do..???
Hello James,
Hello James,
Yes, go talk to her. It might all be a misunderstanding. Talk to her and see what this is all about.
i had a girl frend,,ol woz
i had a girl frend,,ol woz well bt we had a quarrel abt her mum acceptin that made it worse and she became abusive and cruel ,,sayin all kind of bad things bt later admited our love and assured me dat she would fight for our love bt after 1 wk she does the same thing after making promises and dismisses me as the worst of all and that she never had fallen in love and wouldnt..
Hi Col,
Hi Col,
Sorry to hear that.
I suggest you give if some time. Maybe she is stressed or overwhelmed by something right now, and some space is what she needs.
And then talk to her, and let her know what her behavior makes you feel like. Good luck!
My girlfriend send me sms
My girlfriend send me sms saying it’s over, what should I do?
Pole, Edward.
Pole, Edward.
That’s a really bad way to break up with someone, but unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do. You can try to talk to her, but I doubt you will be able to change her mind.
I have nt really broke up wid
I have nt really broke up wid my guy,bt d problem is I dn’t get watz going on,he doesn’t call nd enitym I tried calling hym,he doesn’t pick my calls…anytym I call hym wid anoda number nd tld hym m d one speaking,he wil always hang off d phone..
Hello Hardeywealth,
Hello Hardeywealth,
That doesn’t sound very good.
Some men don’t know how to break up, so they just go silent. It’s unfair. I understand that you might need some closure and to hear what’s really going on, but he might not be willing to do that. Give it a week or two and try talking to him again. Good luck!
Hi ave been in a rilationship
Hi ave been in a rilationship 4 6mnths n it has nt been bad bt da prob is my gay stil tlks 2 his ex n during this april thnks ave nt been gd btw us we ave been arguin n when we decided 2meet he truns mi dwn am so lyk feed up i dnt knw if i shld jst brk up wid him n mve on.
Hi Lucy,
Hi Lucy,
Have you talked to him about this? Your relationship doesn’t seem to go well. If he is not willing to change anything, then you need to think about what you want from this relationship. And then you have to decide how to move on. Good luck!
have gone through alot wif my
have gone through alot wif my bf of 4yrs. hw cn I tell he really means wen he says he loves me so much bt he doesn’t show it nd still hurts me one way or another?
Hi Sue,
Hi Sue,
Have you told him what you need from him, what you need him to show? Because if he doesn’t know, he can’t change anything. You need to be honest, and you need to tell him what this makes you feel like. Good luck!
Hi,i dnt knw wea tha prblm iz
Hi,i dnt knw wea tha prblm iz kz cnc i xtarted faln in lv ma r/ship dsn’t laxt 4 2 month it gets complicated n a dnt knw if tha prblm is me r nt?plz help….
Hi Benson,
Hi Benson,
let me just make sure I get this straight- ever time you are in a relationship, you start falling in love, and then it doesn’t last?
if that’s the case, you need to make sure you and your next partner have the same expectations going into a relationship. If you fall for someone who is just out to have some fun and isn’t ready for a relationship, it’s bound to fail. So slowly start asking in the beginning if they are ready for a long-term relationship and if they could imagine more than just fun.
And maybe you are going for the wrong kind of partner. If you are always going for the outgoing, bubble, party-goers, you might have a problem finding a steady partner. So look in place that you normally wouldn’t consider.
Does this help? Good luck!
hi…i feel heartbroken coz
hi…i feel heartbroken coz my guy has changed alot towards me of late…does nt pick ma calls n reply my text…..i feel like giving up bt on the other hand i dnt want to regret afterwards wat do i do??
I am sorry to hear that you
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your relationship. It can be a lot of stress to constantly fight with someone you care about especially when you are trying to do the best things for both you.
The heart of any relationship is communication and without it you can have serious problems. If your partner inst calling you it can be for a variety of reasons. He could be busy, stressed with other things in life (like work or family), he might also be becoming less interested or maybe even met someone else. The only way you can know is through communication.
My suggestion would be next time you do here from him, calmly explain your feelings. Tell him how much you care and miss him and that you are concerned for the future of your relationship. Explain to him how his actions make you feel and try to get him to explain where he is at. He might have his own concerns or reservations about the relationship and its important to share with each other.
If he is unable to let you know what is going on, or refuses to answer you then you might want to reconsider the relationship. You are a strong and independent woman and deserve to be with someone who will respect and listen to you. If this behavior is continuous without explanation, it is unacceptable.
iam goin thru hell jst in the
iam goin thru hell jst in the nem of brkup! i neva thot its going to be so painful! i gev her evrythng that wil mek her stay,but all was in vain! i dnt knw if she wil comeback to me after 4yrz in a rlshp.i realy find it hard to mve on!
Breakups are hard. Generally
Breakups are hard. Generally we invest in relationships both emotionally and physically, you make plans together, you envision a future together and when it crumbles it can be really hard. Of course it is normal to have times where you miss you ex or you may even want to get back together.
I recommend that you really think about why you broke up. Have the issues been addressed? Have you both taken enough time to heal? Are there lingering things that would make it hard? If you think that there has been enough time and that the same mistakes from before won’t be repeated feel free to try it again. But also remember that you are a strong independent man who deserves someone who will love and respect you. If she can’t treat you right then don’t bother an work through the pain and try to find someone who will be a better fit for you.
I wish you the luck with your best with your situation. If you have any more questions don’t hesitate to ask.
loving your advice guyz,wi b
loving your advice guyz,wi b seeking help soon
We are so glad, Aziz!
We are so glad, Aziz!
I broke up with the fada of
I broke up with the fada of my child 4 ayear wit no contact nd we have been in a long dstance rlationship so we wernt seeing each ada 4that long now hes bck saying he loves me nd i havent stopped loving him since bt now the problem is we had a lot of problems b4 dat made us lose the trust 4each ada nd me i have met someone who trully loves me bt my heart is not in him,jst dont knw wat 2do confused pls advise
Hi Wendie,
Hi Wendie,
you need to make up your mind about what you want for yourself and for your future. we unfortunately can’t help you with this. Take your time to decide what might be best for you. Good luck!
we broke up cz he thinks am
we broke up cz he thinks am in love wt ma x bt i love him wt All of me,,,, hez ma all bt he Kant understand that
Hi Liz,
Hi Liz,
have you tried to tell him that? And why does he think you are in love with your ex?
Ask him how you can make him believe that he is indeed your all!
Good luck!
hi,its 3wks now since i broke
hi,its 3wks now since i broke up wit ma guy via sms,tha reason was that i neva found him crias wit me,he could go even 4 1wk without talkng N yet he claims he lvs me,n so wen i askd him he told me he is ok n i shld gve him tym 2let him be,…afta dumpng him,i later saw ts lyk am tha 1 hu did wrng,so i tried 2kal him bt he neva picks ma kal nor rplyng my txts…bt t hurts cz i lvd him,i thot we should reconcile,bt am wondrng did he eva lvd mi?
Hi Ann,
Hi Ann,
breaking up with someone over SMS is never a good idea, so it’s understandable that he is angry right now. Also, it sounds like your decision was a bit rash, and now you are regretting it. So it’s not surprising he is not jumping at the idea of getting back together. Give him some time, and then gently try to start talking to him again. He hurt you, you hurt him- it will be difficult, but you can try! Good luck!
I waz deeply in love wth my
I waz deeply in love wth my fiance hu also loved me the same way, bt due 2 ma studys she felt i had no time for her.during that time i used 2 stay wth a relative hu neva gave that freedom.my fiance wz an orphan n stayd wth a welwisher hu at xome point mistreated ha dspite payng ha fees.i understood that my fiance needed xam1 by ha side evry time but i neva fulfilled acordingly due 2 ma stuation.dispite all the love she had 4 me,1 day she phoned and said” i think am bothering you much n it seems u dont love me bye” she went off til today.av spend 2 years lookng for her in all places i suspected ha 2 b bt ol in vain.tz only last week i discovered thru fb that she got married to one of my neighbour stayng in town whom we were rivals over her bak in village n they hav a 1 month old bby. I stil love thz gal dearly that av tried another r/shp bt tz nt wrking 4 me coz i thnk n dream of her evry day n the swit moments we shared.now that she’z mared pliiz help me 4get ha coz my heart stil dies 2 have her.
Hi Samuel,
Hi Samuel,
that is a heartbreaking story. Unfortunately, there is little you can do. She is a married woman now and even has a child. It seems she has left your relationship behind and started over. I suggest you try to do the same. It will hurt and it will be difficult, but it will be better for your heart if you try to let her go.
Good luck!
I have a girl friend who
I have a girl friend who always asks me money.surely does she love me.coz she lyk treathening me
what should i do coz i love her so much
Hi Frederick,
Hi Frederick,
does she show you that she loves you? We suggest you talk to her about this and tell her that her asking for money all the time makes you feel used. Be gentle and nice about it, and make sure that she doesn’t feel threatened. Good luck!
hae,i hav bn in a rshp wit
hae,i hav bn in a rshp wit thz gal 4 2yrs nw…we had issues b4 but we sortd them n our rshp ws bkamin strngr everyday….suddenly shez tellin me dat she nids to put her life in order and as a rslt we shud split until jan nxt yr n we’ll resume n evrythn wil go bak 2 normal….z thz real.???
Hi Dennis,
Hi Dennis,
talk to her. Ask her how you can help, and explain to her that whatever is going on, you will be there to support her and be there for her. Ask her if there is anything about your relationship that could be improved. Talk, talk, talk: it seems like she is going through a rough time and might need some help from you. Good luck!
thnks lemme try ma bst
thnks lemme try ma bst
Good luck!
Good luck!
I always wanted to break up
I always wanted to break up with him but he was against us breaking up, now he’s decided we break up, probably because he’s found someone else, my problem is that I don’t have the strength to accept, let go and move on
Hi Vee,
Hi Vee,
so sorry to hear that.
But it sounds like you already knew that it wasn’t meant to last.
I am so sorry that you have had your heart broken. It can be a really difficult thing when you loved someone and now it is no longer. People invest time, emotions and caring into others and make plans in the future but then suddenly it all disappears.
There is no way to cure a heartache, it really just takes time. Make sure to spend a little of time being sad, because it’s important to honor your feelings, but then there is a point where you need to start doing something else. You need to start spending some time working on you. Find a hobby, work harder at work, go to the gym, do that thing you have been talking about for months but haven’t. Spend time with family and friends go out.
The idea is that you need to fall in love with yourself a bit. Not only will this help you in other areas of life but when people are happy and confidant they are attractive to new partners. When you are happy people will be lining up around the block to be apart of it and join in with you. That way you can start to find a new partner that will be better suited for you and love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Hi, I fell in love with a
Hi, I fell in love with a certain girl. Her elder sister got my contact thru facebook n started calling me. We have been talking general things with her. Now some few days ago, My girlfriend got to know bout the calls from her sister n became mad. She broke up with me in a cruel manner, since she unfriended me on fb n blocked me on whatsapp. After 3 days of no talk, she wrote to me on WhatsApp n told me it was over between us. I am feeling betrayed and used since after asking her several times what sin I committed, she hasn’t told me. Am in great heart ache n don’t know what to do. I love this girl with my whole being. Please help me on what to do. Am so lost and confused.
Hi Raymie,
Hi Raymie,
you are feeling betrayed? I think she did, too! You talked to her sister without her knowledge. Not that this in itself is very bad, but she must have felt jealous, unsure and, yes, betrayed. Why didn’t you tell her you were talking to her sister?
I now suggest you try to call her. Tell her what you told us, that you are hurt and that you love her. And apologize! But also ask her what the problem was. Be nice, don’t accuse her of anything. And ask her what she wants you to do about her sister. Good luck!
I fel in luv with a man whn
I fel in luv with a man whn promised mi heaven n earth tym wnt on n we had an intimate r/ship i got a job n he did use 2 cm over one day i complaind of a pain below my belly n it got xo painful dyz wnt by n a frnd ask mi 2 see a doctor n she came wt mi that day xo dat monin we were stil in love until the scan wz conducted n a wz 6wks 4dyz pregnant4 mi on telin him he refused aftr insistn xo mch he ask mi kuitoa bt i dnt we dnt tlk mch ju he blocked mi b he clz wn he wnt 2 its xad4 mi ju i stil luv him am nw 12 wks pregnant hlp urgently
Pole sana, Faith. This is a
Pole sana, Faith. This is a very difficult situation. You need to decide on what to do. Do you want to have the baby? And what do you want to do about him? I suggest you talk to him once again, because he is responsible as well.
It will be difficult, but you can do it! Good luck!
was heartbroken by my guy
was heartbroken by my guy like 6 months ago but til to date av never been able to over come it we still talk but don’t know wat to do
My dear,
My dear,
it can take much longer to get over a relationship. It hurts, and it still feels like it tears your heart apart. But as time goes by, it will get better. Try to distract yourself, try new things, spend time with friends. And one day, you will realize that you haven’t thought about him for a while. And then you know that you are almost there.
Take care of yourself.
Hi,i broke up wid ma gf 1 yr
Hi,i broke up wid ma gf 1 yr ago due 2 alot of mis-understandingz-lyk wen ha perfomance dropped n class she blmed mh 4 evry tin & alxo tld pple dat i waz 4cin ma self 2 ha den wen she waz abaut 2 sit 4 ha KCSE alinxhw aty nmpe tym & space wich i actually did den afterwardz alin call den akaxma dat ..it waz ova btwn mh & ha ata callz zngu haxhik..doez nat rply ma text..n nkimulzia rizonz 4 da brek up hanjib..xo wat xhld i do..pliz help
Hi Tom,
Hi Tom,
pole sana!
If it’s been a year, you might be better off trying to get over the relationship. You can try to reach out to her one more time, but then, if she still doesn’t respond positively, then you might have to try to get over her.
I happen to love agal, i hv
I happen to love agal, i hv dated her twice but she can’t comminicate untill we meet face to face.can i break with her or .,
Hi Mohamed,
Hi Mohamed,
have you talked to her about your concerns? You should, and see what she has to say.
hi i was in a rltship with a
hi i was in a rltship with a guy who never calls and texts 4 quite a long time.i tried 2 text him one day and he ignored but only 2 answer later and asked ni nani by the way? Pliz help coz he promises 2 love me but seems 2 take me 4 granted.
Dear Miriam,
Dear Miriam,
have you talked to him about this? Try to explain to him what it makes you feel like when he does this to you, and try to find solutions that work for both of you.
Good luck!
My First Luv Didnt Use His
My First Luv Didnt Use His Mouth To Tel Me It Is Over But He Used His Actions. I Am Still Thinking About Him, I Stil Luv Him So Much But He Doesnt Care About Me Anymore. So I Decided To Move On, I Was Dating Som1 Again Dat I Luv Him But I Woke Up Yesterday And I Find Out Dat I Dont Luv Him Anymore
Pole sana, Lola!
Pole sana, Lola!
Don’t be disappointed. It can take a while to find love and to find someone who love you and you love him back.
You will be just fine, give yourself time!
love…they say its swit wen
love…they say its swit wen its true.im yet to prove that.ive always be in love wth a married ma for 5yrs.tho i knew the implications but trust me i neva gained anything.not his time not his ideas or a single advice.not even some alittle bit of support.but weneva its tym for love making….he’s so up to it!!!!now im hurt…..i hate maself for having wasted so much time with him.i feel like ill never find someone to love n settle with him
Don’t hate yourself, Connie!
Don’t hate yourself, Connie! We learn from bad relationships, and you are coming out a stronger woman on the other side!
Am in pain for the last one
Am in pain for the last one month since she called and it’s over. The hurting and painful thing is she still call and say she love n she will forever love me…. I really respected her decision.
So sorry, Jack. We hope the
So sorry, Jack. We hope the pain goes away very, very soon!
i have been dating a guy for
i have been dating a guy for about four years and i love him honestly.. he become a player and when I realized that he promised to change.. but he didn’t… unfortunately he impregnated a certain lady n he was forced to marry her.. he tells me he loves me most n nid me as da second wyf…what shud i do n i honestly love him?
Shiks its unfortunate that
Shiks its unfortunate that you has to go through that with your partner. The solution is simple, if you don’t mind being a second wife then by all means go ahead and get married to him. But if that is not what you want you need to cut all ties with him and move on with your life. You will hurt and heal and you will love again.
I av bn in a r/shp 4yrs wid
I av bn in a r/shp 4yrs wid ma wyf having a 3yrs old kid,we broke up 3 wks ago n she said its over.4 sua l do respect her decision n moved on with ma lyf.She involved bth parents to our breakup bt 2days ago she went n reconciled wid ma parents,later she clld mi n asked 4 a lst chnce wich l tld her that am nt ready bt she kips insisting..wat do i do yet am nt ready 2 gt bak on her.
Vin sorry about the break up
Vin sorry about the break up with your partner.
As you said you are not ready to go back to the relationship and that means you have no interest of doing so. A relationship can only work if both of you are willing to work at it. You can tell her to give you space and then terminate communication until when you feel you are ready.
Hi, I’ve been in a
Hi, I’ve been in a relationship with my fiancee for one and half years. Everything was going well as i had introduced her to my parents and we were planning to visit her parents. She has a kid from the previous marriage which ended due to hostility from her mother in law.(according to her). I am employed and i opened a salon for her. But 3 months ago she became abusive, whenever i ask her that we talk and sort out anything that is troubling her, she refused. One day while I was off duty she insulted me and i slapped her. We reconciled the following day. Two weeks later i went to work as i was on night shift, and when i came back in the morning I found out that she had left with almost everything that was in the house and had rented a house 30 metres from where we lived. Recently she has been coming to my house almost daily asking if her son is with me. But with the look of things, she wants to come back. What do i do?
Hi Eric sorry that you are
Hi Eric sorry that you are going through this. It sounds as though you are not sure about what you want. You need to take time and think about the situation. If you feel you want to mend things back with her then you need to sort out all past issue first before you can move on. If you do not sort out the issue they will still haunt your relationship. If you feel like you want to move on, then you need to cut off the ties and heal from this.
All the best to you.
I was in a relationship for 5
I was in a relationship for 5 months and I loved the dude seriously but we were having some conflicts and the dude just left without saying anything..am in another relationshp but i think am still in love with my ex
Thanks for sharing that with
Thanks for sharing that with us. It means you’ve not been able to move on and you need time to do so.
i av been going out wif this
i av been going out wif this guy for about a year now and i noticed that my love for him is greater than his love for me. Most times when we talk,he sometimes tells me dat whenever i see a man who is willing to marry me i should say yes and go ahead. The last time i checked his phone, i discovered dat he didnt save my contact when i saw dat i was heartbroken and sad when i asked him. He told me dat his phone developed a fault. i dont know what to do?
Hi Faby,
Hi Faby,
Its sounds like you are not sure about him. You need to give yourself time and learn as much as you can about him before you decide what you want to do.
Sometimes we can read too much into something and get it wrong. Take a little more time nd get to know more.
I need great help. I just
I need great help. I just broke up with my bf of 2 yrs. Reason being when the friendship was starting.all was well and we enjoyed each other’s company so much. I sacrificed a lot just to ensure he was okay since he was always broke.I felt safe since i had a bf n felt so nice being loved. But after finishing schooling and we were apart things changed. Texting and calling was a problem..he could take even a week before calling. If I text he doesn’t reply..but if I call he talks tells me his financial problems if I can help n then after helping him he goes silent again. I have asked him severally n he just keeps quiet. I have gone miles just to talk with him face to face and he claims he’s quite busy. And if he manages to meet me then he’s tired and no talking. I have lived with this habit for now 8 months since the only conversation is how have u been and then silence. I got tired of trying to keep the friendship and decided to cut it off thru text coz we are miles away from each ither. But when I was texting him..he just received the messages no reply..no explanation until I sent the last text let’s live our single lives..after six hours he calls me to tell me that its okay…that I should do what makes me happy n if breaking up will make me happy then its okay with him..felt so hurt that he wasn’t even disturbed n that’s the only thing he can tell me..pls help so I can try to forget him becoz I loved him so much even after mum told me to break with him a Yr ago..
Sorry for the break up
Sorry for the break up Veronicah. Check out this article it will help with your issue: https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/after-the-break-up
i met this girl in skul she
i met this girl in skul she loved me and i loved her too.bt a certain frend of mine who i trusted verry much happend to have sex with her…and after kmowing that i broke up without daying anything the gal used to txt me bt i wasnt replying it has been 6 months now and the gal.keep on insisting on me i gave her e last chance we are together now
.bt i feel like i want another gal eventhou we havent break
Hi Musyoka, it sounds as
Hi Musyoka, it sounds as though you have not been able to come to terms with what happened.
Did you ever have a discussion with her about it and what it made you feel? If not its important to do so as it might help.
Am married 4 four yrs now by
Am married 4 four yrs now by da father of ma son.he was just a pal when i got pregnant.we have been having fights now ad then.i have caught him cheating on mi twice.and now i fill like i dnt love him any more.pls advice
Hi Joy,
Hi Joy,
Sorry that your relationship is not working as you would like it to. Read this article and hopefully it will shed some light on your situation https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/breaking-up .
I had a fight with my husband
I had a fight with my husband and the reason being he saw a text from my ex which I have nothing to do with but after that he asked for a divorce not wanting anything I am so heart broken I luv him so much please advice what to do
Hi,
Hi,
Sorry that you are going through this. Sometimes its good t give each other time to calm down and to think things through.
If someone does not want to be with you there is little one can do to stop it. But if you feel you can be able to talk him out of it or even involve other parties like relatives, those are options you can explore.
Hopefully you can be able to work through this and avoid a divorce. All the best to you.
I recently broke up with my…
I recently broke up with my man because he was forced by his sister we really love each other n have a kid together he is taking care of someone’s else n can’t support his what do I do?
Hi Prudence, This is a…
Hi Prudence, This is a decision he needs to make. He has to decide what is important for him and not really what others dictate for him. If you have a kid together this needs to be one of his priorities. Talk to him so you can find out what it is he wants to moving forward.
My gf broke up with me over…
My gf broke up with me over a text apparently I have dated her for a year and a half, I accepted the fact that she had committed abortion in her last relationship, unfortunately she got pg last year and bcoz we were not ready we decided to terminate it it, this year she again got pg I thought the pg was 10 weeks so so she came to my house and cried and I asked her what she wanted she said she is not ready to b a mum….and bcoz she had no job I gave her 10k to abort and immediately she aborted she told me that the pg was 15 weeks that inahesabiwa since the last period….then she changed and broke up with me over a text message… It’s hurts seeing everything we have been through. Now in my house there are her things ofwhich they remind me of her…should call her to pick them up or I request she send someone I feel horrible
Hi Thomas, Break ups are…
Hi Thomas, Break ups are tough but life does go on even after a break up. While you may feel together you have dealt with alot the multiple abortions may have affected her. You may want to find out what her reasons are for breaking up with her. As for her things, you can ask her to pick them up after you have put them together or deliver them at a place she can pick them. It hurts but it gets better with time. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up
niko na dem napenda bt…
niko na dem napenda bt alikua ameenda for one week so sikua nathani anaeza rudi ,mimi nikapata dem mwingene what should i do?
Hello Miles, wewe mwenyewe…
Hello Miles, wewe mwenyewe unataka nini? One week nikidogo sana kuwa umepata mpenze mwingine. Kwanza fikiria kile wewe mwenyewe unataka alafu uamue. All the best.
At least I hv learn…
At least I hv learn something there,,especially now I feel like I not move on in this relationship am in.
Hey Ellenah, we are gals…
Hey Ellenah, we are gals that you found this article useful. All the best.
I have my girl friend at…
I have my girl friend at first we could talk to each other for 2 hours but after three months she started to change whenever I call her She is ever on call waiting, when I ask she tells me that it was business issues and up now like we can talk once in a week and we talk like for two minutes and she tells me she doesn’t have airtime to call me and when I call her she is ever on call waiting. She I think she is cheating on me or I end the relationship. Thanks for your advice, am waiting .
Hello Eno, thank you for…
Hello Eno, thank you for reaching out to us. So sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time. You really won’t know what is going on until you talk to your partner and ask them. Have a conversation with them and find out what could be going on. Express your feelings but also be open to listening to theirs. Do not make any assumptions.