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(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

How to date

If you’re in love with someone, the next logical step is to find out if they feel the same about you. Often you can guess if someone’s interested. If you’re not sure, be brave!

Try to get into a situation where you’ve got a chance to talk to the person. If you have mutual friends, let them introduce you. You could also send them a text message or try to make contact on chat – but if they don’t answer, don’t pester them. If you notice they’re not really responding or they’re even trying to avoid you, there’s a good chance they don’t return your feelings.

Bear in mind, however, that there’s an extra tricky puzzle in the love game: some people can be standoffish even if they’re really attracted to you, because they don’t know how to cope with their feelings! Or maybe they feel they shouldn’t be responding to your advances even if they’d like to. So don’t immediately assume someone isn’t interested in you because they don’t respond straight away.

Some guys have the idea – often picked up from movies – that if you keep hassling a woman long enough she will give in to you. People might tell you that if a girl says no or even gets upset or angry, you should ignore it and not give up.

This is a fantasy – if someone reacts like this to your advances, you’re just being abusive.

If you get a clear no, be respectful. Move on and leave the person alone.

Asking someone out

If the person you’re interested in responds positively to your cues, you might want to ask them out on a date. You don’t have to be a man to ask someone out – women can do it too, so don’t be shy!

Before planning a date, find out what they like doing – maybe watching movies or sports games, going to museums, walking, or dancing. It’s a good idea to meet in a quiet place near where you live, somewhere you can relax and talk easily.

Remember, dates don’t have to be fancy or expensive. They can be simple, like meeting at a kibanda and then taking a walk in the park.

First date

First dates are often a bit tense. Maybe you’re very nervous, or feel like you’ve got butterflies in your stomach. There could be awkward moments on your first date – when you think you’ve said something silly or when you just don’t know what else to say. Don’t worry too much: the key is to stay calm.

For more tips, read our first date do’s and don’ts.

Once you’ve realised that you both like spending time together, you can start thinking about another date. It doesn’t always have to be your responsibility to decide what to do – you can put the ball in their court too. Over the next few meetings, try finding out more about them, about their likes and dislikes, their past, and their dreams for the future.

Are you even more in love, or starting to worry that it won’t work out after all? Does a relationship seem realistic?

When to hold hands, kiss, and have sex

While you’re dating, you might want to hold hands, kiss, hug, or even have sex with your partner. There’s nothing wrong if you feel that way. If you’re not entirely sure what your partner wants, talking about it can help. You can be straightforward and ask, ‘can I kiss you?’ or ‘how would you feel if I held your hand?’

Having sex with your lover is a big decision. Take one step at a time. You might want to talk to your partner about it before you make a move. The most important thing is to know if they feel the same way and really want to go ahead with sex. Read more here about having sex for the first time. If your partner doesn’t want to have sex with you, respect their feelings. Their choice could be based on religious belief, or it could be for cultural reasons. Maybe they want to wait till they’re married, or maybe they simply don’t feel ready for sex.

Give them all the time and space they need to think about it and make up their mind. And then accept their decision, whatever it is.

Did you learn something new?

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Recent Comments (573)

      1. Inspiring thanks in advance
        Inspiring thanks in advance

        1. Hey Evans, you are welcome…

          Hey Evans, you are welcome and all the best.

          1. I think I have something…
            I think I have something good thanks

          2. We are glad Precious. 

            We are glad Precious. 

          3. Hi Samuel welcome to Love…

            Hi Samuel welcome to Love Matters Africa.

          4. Please can u share with me…
            Please can u share with me please

          5. Hi Anonymous, what would you…

            Hi Anonymous, what would you like us to share?

      2. I think have something good
        I think have something good

        1. Hey Ann, we are glad you…

          Hey Ann, we are glad you found this useful to you. 

        1. Thank you for the feedback.

          Thank you for the feedback.

        1. Always pleased to inspire…

          Always pleased to inspire Mickey!

        1. Thank you for your feedback…

          Thank you for your feedback Louis

      3. I think I have something good
        I think I have something good

        1. We are glad to hear this,…

          We are glad to hear this, thank you for your feedback.

        1. Hi Kipson, how are you today?

          Hi Kipson, how are you today?

    1. Happy to hear from you. It…
      Happy to hear from you. It has so a wonderful lecture to learn, Thanks for your help.

    2. Alright thanks ma guys i get…
      Alright thanks ma guys i get all and it helped me

      1. (No subject)
        Hey Rashid,

        We are glad that this information was useful to you.

    3. Your advice helped me
      Your advice helped me

      1. We are so glad to hear that…
        We are so glad to hear that Suzan. We wish you well.

    4. thanks i really appreciate
      thanks i really appreciate

      1. You are welcome Blessing.

        You are welcome Blessing.

    5. What if your partner enter…
      What if your partner enter the relationship because all he just wants from you is sex??? And after that, he dump you for someone else.

      1. Hi Bennita, thank you for…

        Hi Bennita, thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time. If all he wanted from you was only to have sex then unfortunatly he was in the realtionship for lustful reasons and not love. Here is a link that can explain more https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/love-or-lust

        How are you coping since then? 

    6. I have learned a lot in this…
      I have learned a lot in this platform just as I got in,at this very moment. Thanks

      1. We are so grateful for you…

        We are so grateful for you feedback Jabir Usman, you are most welcome! 🙂

    7. That’s is Good I have known…
      That’s is Good I have known something now

      1. Always pleased to help! 🙂

        Always pleased to help! 🙂

    8. I really learnt sometime new…
      I really learnt sometime new .
      This have educated.

      1. Thank you Sarah! We are…

        Thank you Sarah! We are pleased to hear this.

    9. That of asking for her…
      That of asking for her opinion whether to hold or kiss

      1. We are glad Sir Njaga! Have…

        We are glad Sir Njaga! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

    10. I have a girlfriends but I…
      I have a girlfriends but I love her with only my heart I want to be my wife to my child and want u to love me

      1. Hi Henery who do you want to…

        Hi Henery who do you want to love you? Please explain.

      1. Hi D.treat, thank you for…

        Hi D.treat, thank you for your input.

      1. Hi Daniel Nelson, thank you…

        Hi Daniel Nelson, thank you so much for your feedback we appreciate it. Please feel free to go through the website to find other articles that you may find of help.

      1. Hi Spencer, thank you for…

        Hi Spencer, thank you for getting in touch, how can we help you?

  1. Thenks,it wl help me alot
    Thenks,it wl help me alot

    1. We are so glad to hear that!
      We are so glad to hear that!

    2. We are so glad, Martin…

      We are so glad, Martin. Always pleased to help! Please feel free to go through more of our content and let us know if it helps and do not hesitate to ask us questions regarding Love, Sex and Relationships.

  2. i agree that dating shld nt
    i agree that dating shld nt be expensive

    1. Not at all! But being
      Not at all! But being creative is great!

      1. OK le me put everything a…
        OK le me put everything a have read in work and see whether I will succeed,,,, thanks

        1. We wish you well Nadius.
          We wish you well Nadius.

      1. Am a guy en need a partner…
        Am a guy en need a partner who is a gay to

        1. Hey Alex, Unfortunately we…
          Hey Alex, Unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we can not help you meet someone. We wish you well though.

      2. I’m Also ready for a…
        I’m Also ready for a Relationship

        1. Hey John, we hope you meet…

          Hey John, we hope you meet someone soon. 

          1. Are need sugar mummy
            Are need sugar mummy

          2. Hi Matthias, Sorry to say,…

            Hi Matthias, Sorry to say, we are not a dating service and cannot assist you in finding a partner. Best thing to do is take some time with yourself, find hobbies, practice things that you love and try to learn how to be happy with yourself. Happiness and confidence is attractive in a person and when you find yourself in a good place people will find you. As always, feel free to ask us any questions about love, sex or relationships if they come up. Best of luck.

          3. I need a sugar mummy
            I need a sugar mummy

          4. Hello Anonymous, sorry to ay…

            Hello Anonymous, sorry to ay Love Matters Africa is not a dating site and we cannot help you in this regard.

  3. Thanxs this will help me
    Thanxs this will help me

    1. We are glad to hear that!
      We are glad to hear that!

  4. thanks fr ur help!!

    thanks fr ur help!!
    what if i go out of words what should i do??

    1. Smile, breath and think of
      Smile, breath and think of what to say next! Don’t worry, you will be fine!

        1. Hello Joy, unfortunately,…

          Hello Joy, unfortunately, there is little you can do to make someone to love you if they don’t. All you can do in such a situation is to move on. Sometimes, you will love someone and they won’t feel the same way. However, just because one person didn’t accept, it doesn’t mean the next person will also not accept, you just have to keep trying until you meet the person who will love you back. We wish you all the best. 

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/the-perfect-way-to-ask-someone-out

  5. thanks alot,this will realy
    thanks alot,this will realy help me.

    1. Glad to hear that, Felix!
      Glad to hear that, Felix!

  6. what if she dosent want any
    what if she dosent want any of my
    daylight meet

    1. Hi Shaffi,

      Hi Shaffi,
      does she meet you for nighttime meetings?

  7. ths wil help me bt wat if she
    ths wil help me bt wat if she doesnt lyk tha place because it simple as u’ve dates shud b simple

    1. Hi Patoh,

      Hi Patoh,
      a date should be honest. By that, I mean you shouldn’t pretend. If you want a simple date, then you shouldn’t go over the top.

  8. this wil help me but wat if
    this wil help me but wat if some one laks the funds

    1. Hi Kelvoh,

      Hi Kelvoh,
      dates don’t need to be expensive! Be creative, and you might not need to spend much, or any, money!

      1. It’s true love doesn’t need…
        It’s true love doesn’t need money kevoh

        1. Thank you for your…
          Thank you for your contribution Terry.

          1. Isn’t it so Judith? Thank…

            Isn’t it so Judith? Thank you 🙂

  9. In Rem Mistakes Are Always
    In Rem Mistakes Are Always Few

    1. Thanks for your comment!
      Thanks for your comment!

  10. !lime light, got knowledge to
    !lime light, got knowledge to buld strong relationship

    1. Glad to hear that, Abdul!
      Glad to hear that, Abdul!

  11. am still worried hw ma fst
    am still worried hw ma fst sex wll b coz am stll hldng ma vergnity wid me,does it hurt??????

  12. I Lyk It ,teaches Me Things I
    I Lyk It ,teaches Me Things I Dont Know In A R/ship.Is It Wrong To Fall In Lv Wit A Young Man?

    1. Hi Beninnah,

      Hi Beninnah,
      how young is this man? Over 18? And how old are you?
      Generally, age shouldn’t matter that much, what matters more is that you get along and that you respect each other and expect the same things out of a relationship.

  13. Wawo, datg is agradual
    Wawo, datg is agradual process bt requires creativeness . thxs bt ladies shd always be sympethetic to their partners

      1. Its interesting and I have…
        Its interesting and I have learnt something thanks

        1. Thank you for the feedback…
          Thank you for the feedback Rose. We are glad the information is useful.

    1. Glad to hear that, Charles.
      Glad to hear that, Charles.

  14. Thank you for your advices
    Thank you for your advices

    1. You are most welcome, Gilbert
      You are most welcome, Gilbert!

    1. Have you had a look at the
      Have you had a look at the article?

  15. what an information? thanks
    what an information? thanks

    1. Hi Bill,

      Hi Bill,
      if you look at the article and the drop-down menu, you’ll find all the information you need!

  16. many girls when you approach
    many girls when you approach them, they say already they have boyfriend. what should you do to win them?

    1. Hi Gymo,

      Hi Gymo,
      if they already have a boyfriend, there is little you can do. You can be nice to them, and try to befriend them and see if they change their minds, but you shouldn’t push them. Who they are in a relationship with is their choice.

  17. I love you guys, since i
    I love you guys, since i started reading your articles like every day, my love life has changed from fair to very good. Keep it up, good work abd may God bless you

    1. We are so happy to hear that,
      We are so happy to hear that, Titus!

  18. Thanks allot for these
    Thanks allot for these teachings.

    1. Thank you for coming to our
      Thank you for coming to our website, Charles.

    1. You are most welcome, Lucy!
      You are most welcome, Lucy!

  19. the nice one but i am shy
    the nice one but i am shy

    1. Geoffrey,

      Geoffrey,
      Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive.

      The best way to do this when you are nervous is to talk to people who share interest. Do they go to school with you? Are they working? Did you meet them at the movies? This way there is already a commonality between you an it gives you the first conversation topic. Find other people who like what you like and try to mingle from there.

      Otherwise, just be honest. Tell them who you are, why you approached the (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them beautiful etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them.

      Everyone has nerves and the girls know that. They will be flattered that you even tried to reach out and talk.

  20. Have Known That I Need To
    Have Known That I Need To Give My Lover Time To Think Of The Time To Have Sex With Me When Dating.

    1. Thanks for your comment.
      Thanks for your comment.

  21. what r those words used to
    what r those words used to approach for first dai ?

  22. what r those words used to
    what r those words used to approach for first dai ?

    1. There is no one way that fits
      There is no one way that fits for all people, unfortunately.
      So be creative! Don’t worry too much about it though, be natural, and be yourself!

  23. Thanks it has helped me alot
    Thanks it has helped me alot.and what if am feel him and he isn’t feeling me how will i know .?help plzz

    1. Farry,

      Farry,
      you mean if he is not into you?

  24. Am married but no feelings
    Am married but no feelings for my husband wat can I do need your advice

    1. Hi Julie,

      Hi Julie,
      it will be extremely difficult to develop feelings for someone.
      Do you feel nothing all the time, or is this regarding specific aspects of your life?

  25. Dat c true u must respect ua
    Dat c true u must respect ua partners feelings wen u r dating each other i lyk dat

    1. We are glad to hear that,
      We are glad to hear that, Sasha.

  26. you are doin great work
    you are doin great work congrats guys.

  27. thankz 4 thi good advices.!it
    thankz 4 thi good advices.!it hlping mi soo much

    1. That’s great to hear!
      That’s great to hear!

  28. thank u xo mch 4 ua advice
    thank u xo mch 4 ua advice,GOD blz u.

  29. i hv a grlfred and she have a
    i hv a grlfred and she have a problem
    she is a fraid 2 date m what can
    i doo

    1. Etoosee,

      Etoosee,
      Have you asked her why she is afraid? What does she say?

  30. at least i got to know how to
    at least i got to know how to date…Sounds cool though i made a mistake

    1. Let’s hope things will be
      Let’s hope things will be easier for you in the future!

  31. Hi. What if u luv a man and
    Hi. What if u luv a man and he doesn’t feel the same. Like he only see u say a frd? ? Please help. Wat should I do

    1. Sharon,

      Sharon,
      my dear, unfortunately, there is not much you can do. You can try to be friends with him and see if he changes his mind, but not expect too much.
      Sorry, dear.

  32. hae guyz mie i hve 2 glfrnds
    hae guyz mie i hve 2 glfrnds thwn te 1mwnye nmbnda xna is about kuniboot na mwnye c mpndi thn amnikasi xna nmpde xa mnhlp nda do?????

    1. Enoz,

      Enoz,
      you need to decide what you want from a relationship and who you want to be with. We can’t help you make that decision. But you do need to make one, because right now, you are cheating.

    1. We are so glad to hear that!
      We are so glad to hear that!

    1. You are welcome, Paul!
      You are welcome, Paul!

  33. how about if he loves u en u
    how about if he loves u en u don love him back…….en he keeps on insisting

    1. Verrah,

      Verrah,
      talk to him and make it very clear you are not interested. And then stay away for a while if you can.

  34. Teach me how to put a ring on
    Teach me how to put a ring on her on her finger… Actually an engagement ring…. The kinda conversation to do…

    1. Aww, Robert, congratulations!
      Aww, Robert, congratulations!
      There is no one way to have this conversation. Let your feelings speak! Or think about what you want to say beforehand, write it down and practice. All the best!

  35. Pliz advice me.Am in a deep
    Pliz advice me.Am in a deep emotional relatnship wiz engaged man wiz two kidz,we love our selves n feel like we were meant to be bt i alwyz advise him nt break his family due 2 his kidz n wife 2 suffer becose of me.Wht do i do?am so so confusd pliz its hurtg me deeply.

    1. Tracy,

      Tracy,
      I’m not sure how we can help you. Chances are he wouldn’t leave his family anyway; very few men leave their families for a mistress. But even if his wife found out, she would be hurt already, because he is cheating on her.
      And you don’t want him to leave his family.
      So why are you confused?

  36. i have a crash on my campus
    i have a crash on my campus mate…this is greatly affecting my rship…coz we are almost breaking up with my boyfriend..what can i do….

    1. Hey there,

      Hey there,
      so you are in a relationship but you are in love with someone else, is that it?
      take some time away from both of them and think about what you want from a relationship. And make your decision based on this.

  37. Thanks alot! This will surely
    Thanks alot! This will surely help me a lot.

  38. You are truly a blessing to
    You are truly a blessing to many. Keep on with the good work!!

  39. hw can i date a lady that i
    hw can i date a lady that i fear talking to?

    1. You need to get over your
      You need to get over your fear! Start slowly- you don’t need to start with the topic of dating!

  40. Thanks alot my love life has
    Thanks alot my love life has changed i reat it everyday.

    1. We are so glad to hear that,
      We are so glad to hear that, Judith!

  41. Thank u for the help and
    Thank u for the help and advice n too encouragement.

    1. You are most welcome.
      You are most welcome.

  42. I have got a bf and never has
    I have got a bf and never has he taken m out for a date and most of the time he requests me of visiting him I don’t fail n incase i fail he starts complaining many negative things about me what should I do?

    1. Irene,

      Irene,
      have you talked to him about this? What does he say?

    1. You are most welcome.
      You are most welcome.

  43. Hae admin.. there is this gal
    Hae admin.. there is this gal who we came to know each other thru a friend n we started talkig on a daily base.. i pushed for a date n she agreed n when we met i realized th gal is super rich she’s more learned than i am n this thig made me uncomfortable that we neva even adressed th agendas tht we had.. wht do i do

    1. John,

      John,
      money can be difficult. It might stand in the way of a relationship. But find out more- do you like her for other reasons (we assume so)? Get to know her, spend some time together and see how you feel about it.
      Good luck!

  44. Am having a tough rlationship
    Am having a tough rlationship,am dating a man nd thiz man rly lv me nd i feel that he lv me so much, but wen i told him 2 visit him he dont want i dont know if he is married or not,

    1. Nancy,

      Nancy,
      Have you shared your concerns with him?

  45. Thanx alot i appreciate.. bt
    Thanx alot i appreciate.. bt i think am in love with her whts th best time to let her know abt it n wht reaction can i expect from her

    1. John,

      John,
      We don’t know about her reaction, but the best way to let someone know is to be honest!

  46. hi i have being so lonely for
    hi i have being so lonely for a long time.

  47. Hi guy ,I m 20yrs and still
    Hi guy ,I m 20yrs and still virgin is there any problem

    1. Francis,
      no problem at all!

      Francis,
      no problem at all!

  48. Nice advise but what if da
    Nice advise but what if da girl is too expensive n very far

    1. Mwiima,

      Mwiima,
      expensive in what way?
      Check out our articles on long-distance relationships and see if that helps!

  49. I Hv Tried Bt All Are Engaged
    I Hv Tried Bt All Are Engaged

    1. Don’t get discouraged, you
      Don’t get discouraged, you will find someone!

  50. I love this guy, he is single
    I love this guy, he is single but with two kids staying with them.he used to visit me in my hse only during the night and we even shared love after which he leaves. He doesn’t call or text me anything to do with love…… But if we meet physically he seems to be inlove with me. Kindly let me know if he loves and values me?

    1. Maria,

      Maria,
      have you talked to him about this?

  51. how for a teacher to date his
    how for a teacher to date his/her pupil? is there love there?

    1. There could or could not be
      There could or could not be love, but the truth is its still illegal for a teacher to date their student.

  52. It’ ma first time 2be here
    It’ ma first time 2be here thank U 4da gud job guys

    1. Thank you and welcome Muhwezi
      Thank you and welcome Muhwezi. Spread the good news about Love matters

  53. there is a certain girl l am
    there is a certain girl l am interested with….but l don’t have the courage 2 let her know.

  54. How if your wife date a man
    How if your wife date a man who has a family and to go an exstend of sleeping with him what is the best advice plse,my wife is only 23yrs old we are just engaged

    1. Frank am not sure i
      Frank am not sure i understand what you are asking,, but are you saying your fiancee slept with a married man?

  55. My Friend Is Dating One But
    My Friend Is Dating One But She Doest Want My Friend She Want Only Me What Shoud I Do?

    1. Hatim,

      Hatim,
      If she is dating your friend then do what a good friend would do and stay away from their relationship

  56. hi! I like ur ideas let God
    hi! I like ur ideas let God bless u.

  57. am in luv with this gal en
    am in luv with this gal en even if i ask her to visit me she does but we have never had sex coz she always tells me she’s not ready wat should i do..

    1. Ken, If you truly love her,
      Ken, If you truly love her, then you will wait until she is ready.

  58. true my lady told me a lot of
    true my lady told me a lot of negative things. then I accepted as she told but later she called me and positive things again. BE PATIENCE IN LOVE

    1. Thank you for your input
      Thank you for your input Isaac

  59. It’s generally assumed that
    It’s generally assumed that we go on dates with people we don’t know quite well that is why a first date will require that we get to know them better and stay calm and stuff like that.
    Do people who are turning a long-term friendship into dating, follow the same rules?

    1. Dating has many components
      Dating has many components and not just getting to know each other so yes even people who were friends need to date since they are beginning a new chapter in their lives.

  60. hi, am 20years i am
    hi, am 20years i am financially stable but i have pressure to marry.should i marry with this age.

    1. Gerry one only marries when
      Gerry one only marries when they are ready and not because they are under pressure. Financial stability is not the only key to a good marriage. Don’t give in to pressure only marry when you feel its right for you.

    1. Sorry Mbusa we can’t help you
      Sorry Mbusa we can’t help you with that.

  61. I got engaged to my fiancee 2
    I got engaged to my fiancee 2 months ago. I informed her that I can’t afford to do a wedding because of financial constraints but she can’t hear any of it. She has threatened to quit the engagement if I don’t give her a befitting wedding. What should I do I want her to come over we begin our live together.

    1. Thomas its sad that you are
      Thomas its sad that you are in that position. Its important to always discuss our financial positions in any relationship so that you understand each other and don’t have unrealistic expectations. You need to sit down and discuss your financial positions and come up with an agreement like pushing the weeding to a date where you feel you will have raised enough money. It will be important to start you marriage on the right note because if you don’t, it will not have a good chance of survival.

  62. I have this withstanding Love
    I have this withstanding Love for this lady but when we started every thing seemed great and with time she introduced to me some ex guy of hers who travelled abroad and later turned back over to ug and since that time all seemed no good between me and her and for so her last words came as ITS OVER BETWEEN ME AND HER BUT I FEEL I STILL LOVE HER MUCH,what should I do

    1. Claxton the only thing you
      Claxton the only thing you can do is move on. A relationship is between two people who want to be with each other, and if only one is interested then its not a relationship. You will find someone who will love you back all you need to do is move on with your life.

  63. Approaching a lady has been
    Approaching a lady has been hell for me…. How can I boost my confidence. And words to tell her is also a problem.

  64. I have been in 4 r/ships n
    I have been in 4 r/ships n have never had sex with any of the four gals.I am 21 and most of my friends see me as lucky because I can easily convince ladies though I usually lose interest for sex with time what can I do.I fear if I have sex I will be addicted to it….help

    1. Almartine not having sex
      Almartine not having sex especially when you are in arelationship simply mean you are not ready for it and that normal. Addiction does not come easily and its rare for one to get addicted just because they started having sex. Sex is involving physically mentally and emotionally and until you feel you are ready for all that ,you need to keep on abstaining and not because you fear getting addicted.

  65. Hi am a student and i fall in
    Hi am a student and i fall in love with a lady who live in America she interested all my stories but never love stories.
    when i start showing my love she dont say no but remain silence.
    would i leave her?

    1. Hi Said, have you tried to
      Hi Said, have you tried to ask what kind of relationship she wants from you? She might be interested in a different kind of relationship. It would be important for you to talk about it and find out what kind of relationship both of you want or have.

  66. Thanks,this is really true
    Thanks,this is really true

    1. You are welcome Geofred.
      You are welcome Geofred.

  67. I have a guy whom we have
    I have a guy whom we have dated for 1 yr he tells me that he enjoys having sex with me and when I ask him abut marriage he says he won’t promise me abut it since he is not 100/ sure ant it bt he would lyk to have a kid with and take care of the kid in future even if we will not necessarily marry.plus help

    1. Hi Mwikali, Marriage is a
      Hi Mwikali, Marriage is a serious commitment and most people like taking time with that kind of decision. You need to find out what it is he’s not sure about and why he would want to have a child outside wedlock. These information will help you get to know where you stand with him and what direction the relationship can take. Sometime its also good to think about what you want and then see if it aligns with what you have currently.

  68. Have dated a guy for one year
    Have dated a guy for one year he says that he enjoys having sex with me and he wants me to b with him many times thou he does not promise me abut marriage in future bt he tells me dat he wud lyk to have a kid with me in future and take care of dat kid ‘s financial need ad b the for the kid when need be .pliz advice me on this situation

    1. Hi Mary, thanks for writing
      Hi Mary, thanks for writing to us. It would be very important for both you and him to define the kind of relationship you have. This will help you know where you stand with him. You might also want to talk to him about what kind of future he wants you two to have. All these will help to inform you if that is the relationship you want to be in or if you want something different.

  69. i have a girl that i want to
    i have a girl that i want to date but how can i because i am afrade to talk to her please help

  70. my boyfriend says he will
    my boyfriend says he will never trust any woman,he’s also poor in communication,will this rshp take us smwhere pls help.

    1. Hi Winnie, You need to ask
      Hi Winnie, You need to ask him if any woman includes you. If it does then its clear a relationship cannot work without trust.

    2. My dear, Mark the word any
      My dear, Mark the word any woman…. Meaning that your are not excluded in the statement since you are among those women. So if you’re in that relationship, take a big caution. That man is not romantic at all.

      1. Thanks for the input Hesbon.
        Thanks for the input Hesbon.

  71. sex is sweet @first date
    sex is sweet @first date

    1. Thanks for sharing that with
      Thanks for sharing that with us Ras.

  72. Hi love so when it comes to
    Hi love so when it comes to love is money out or vise versa

    1. Hi Gift, genuine Love has
      Hi Gift, genuine Love has nothing to do with money.

  73. I want to knw how can I date
    I want to knw how can I date a gal

  74. Am in a relationship,am
    Am in a relationship,am pursuing my degree at ku,the guy reached form four.when we started the rlsp I had no problem with dat but after sharing out with my frnds they told me am making a wrong decision,because a man is the one supposed to be at a higher level both educationally and financially….this has instill fears in me I don’t know what to do…pliz advise.thanks in advance.

    1. Hi Gift, its good to sort out
      Hi Gift, its good to sort out opinions from other people, but at the end of the day there is no one better to decide about what you want than yourself. Take time and think about it way the pros and cons and then decide depending on what you feel is right for you.All the best.

  75. I hav a grl whom we chat we
    I hav a grl whom we chat we talk daily on a phone ..we havent seen each other before ..but we talk daily.when i talk to her she responds but we hav not seen each othr ..our relationship is now 5month ..how wil i do to know she loves me if even whn she is far

    1. Hi Johnson, have you tried
      Hi Johnson, have you tried asking her how she feels about you?

  76. I Love ur article great job
    I Love ur article great job guys

  77. great job you people are doin
    great job you people are doin,thanks a lot may u carry on wth the same spirit.

    1. Thank you Joshua for the
      Thank you Joshua for the feedback.

  78. I have been in a rltshp with
    I have been in a rltshp with a gal for sometime then she left me for another guy later they parted. Recently she came to greet me where I live and to best of my thoughts she still loves me. Should I accept her back as a marriage partner advice me on this

    1. Hi Augustus,

      Hi Augustus,

      That is a very difficult question to answer since you are the only one who can answer it.

      Do you feel like you can be able to forgive her and trust her again?

      Do you feel like you will be able to resolve your past issues and move past them?

      These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself as they will help you answer your question.

  79. Hey i have dated aguy for
    Hey i have dated aguy for three weeks and i have already had sex with him do u think he could have taken it in awrong way maybe it was too quick coz i see him having less tym for me these days

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      Its would be difficult to know what he thinks unless you ask him. Talk to him and find out how he feels about it.

  80. I had a reletionship with a
    I had a reletionship with a lady 4two yrs i used to give her gifts de last time i gave a smartphone later on she started disconnet our relationship slow by slowly.wat should i do such prson lke dat

    1. Hi Ismail,

      Hi Ismail,

      What do you mean by disconnecting your relationship?

      You should have a talk with her and seek to find out why she has changed. If she is still interested in the relationship like you are you will find a way of sorting your issues. But if she is no longer interested it might be time to move on.

  81. I have a girlfriend whom I
    I have a girlfriend whom I love so much en she 2 loves me,but her problem is,whenever I don’t pick her calls she quarrels so much she tells me that may be am tired of her, what should I do?

    1. Hi Gerald, why is it that you
      Hi Gerald, why is it that you don’t pick up her calls? Try talking to her about it to find out ways of dealing with the issue.

  82. I developed feelings for girl
    I developed feelings for girl n she is so beautiful n promising lady.I approached her I told that I love her so much.She accepted bt I never felt surtified.I kept on asking her if she really love. She told mbu she is having a boy friend and she also love me so much. So wht should I do

    1. Hi Derrick,

      Hi Derrick,

      Do you intend to be in a relationship with someone who is already in a relationship?

  83. Hi!

    Hi!
    I have dating a gal for the last three,our agreement was that we get down to marriage by 2018,of late she tricked me that she’s committed that she can make to come over, coincidentally I found out that she were cheating on me.to prove my curiosity I made a sup visit to her bh we didn’t meet,am in dilema,what do I do??

  84. Good evening, have been in a
    Good evening, have been in a marriage for 5yrs but my wife is more interested in money, for example if I get she really concentrates on me, but without she keeps quarreling me but she is faithful, personally I want to divorce her and look for another lady to marry Dan (me)

    1. Thanks for sharing your story
      Thanks for sharing your story with us Daniel. DO you have a question for us?

    1. Hi Johnie,

      Hi Johnie,

      Do you have a question for us.

  85. I got married 3yrs back n we
    I got married 3yrs back n we hav a baby with my wife bt i came to realized she is not trustworthy becoz she was groovin with a school drop out guy n i hav the proof with me wat shall i do?… To 4give n 4get? Or wat shall i do coz i still lov my wife n also my son… Advice me

    1. Hi Omar,

      Hi Omar,

      This is a difficult position to be in. You need to take time and think about what you would want to do. If you decide to forgive, you need to know that you would have to sort this issue out before you can move on, otherwise the issue will always be there.

      Check out this article to learn more https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/cheating .

  86. its easy 2 4give but not easy
    its easy 2 4give but not easy 2 4get remember u wil always think about it all tym

    1. Thanks for the input Angel.
      Thanks for the input Angel.

  87. Hi, i am 26yrs of age and
    Hi, i am 26yrs of age and fall in love with this guy aged 29, he was great for the first 9months but things changed and he now never pick calls, hard to reply back my texts and at times claims to have no credit, i sometimes send credit but he doesnt change, am confused and i had loved him with all my heart……i cant love any other man…..what can i do?????

    1. Hi Joyce,

      Hi Joyce,

      Sorry for what you are going through. Its hard to hear this but it sounds as though he’s no longer interested with the relationship.

      You need to make a choice whether you will stay on and continue getting this treatment or move on with you life.

      You can always love again in the future its very possible. The fact that you think you cannot is because you are hurting at the moment.

      Take time and make a decision.

  88. I’ve been in a relationship
    I’ve been in a relationship wit a guy for almost three years. We both love eachoda so much buh we turn to fight a lot ova unnecessary things. I’m really not hapi wit it. What do I do pls?

  89. Am in love with someone who
    Am in love with someone who doesn’t even cars about me what should I am 28yrs and I send to settle

  90. Am in luv with a guy that my
    Am in luv with a guy that my mother dislikes what should I do??

    1. Hi Bank,

      Hi Bank,

      When one is in a relationship its between two people.

      Getting other peoples approvals especially your parents is a bonus but it does not always happen.

      Take time to know about your partner and hopefully if it works about your parent might approve of it.

  91. I HV ma boyfriend we luv
    I HV ma boyfriend we luv ourselves somuch BT we kip on quarreling everiting n I don’t like it …..BT hi loves mi….wats DAT really?????

  92. My hubby have 3children from
    My hubby have 3children from different girl after married to him ,I have two children but still seduced my assistant at home and shop.what should I do coz am already fire 5workets

  93. i’ve a guy we been in dated 4
    i’ve a guy we been in dated 4 4yr any time i make a call with my frnd he will be angry n also stop calling my line,oneday when i when through his phone i saw lv text message which he sent to my cousin when i ask him he told me that his frnd that snt the txt,i asked him why did ur name appear on the txt he didn’t say anything till today what should i do pls i need ur advice.

    1. Hi Destiny,

      Hi Destiny,

      Trust is a very important aspect in any relationship. One question you need to ask your self is, do you trust him? and if you don’t do you think you can trust him again. Think about this then make a choice about what you want to do.

  94. hi,i am dating a guy for 3yrs
    hi,i am dating a guy for 3yrs,and we love eachorda very wel,bt my mother dislike him,so i decide to breakup wit him and date anoda guy bt my feeling 4 im ix still strong.pls advice me

  95. I allow him touch me be4. He
    I allow him touch me be4. He asked me out but he is nt persistan abt it but he calls nt too much do u think he loves me infact how do you no someone is in love of you

    1. luv comes out automatically
      luv comes out automatically azn u just see it….the care heshe gives u

  96. I av bin interested to
    I av bin interested to particular queen bt whenever I direct mi feelings to her, she desrgard.Plz advise what 2 do coz I really need her.

  97. my bf doesn’t call or text me
    my bf doesn’t call or text me or buy me gift or surprise me he wants me to do everything for him wat shd I do pls advice me

    1. Hi Sun, I would propose that
      Hi Sun, I would propose that you talk to him about it. It helps o have dialogue about things you feel are not good in your relationship.

  98. i hv a b.f dat we’ve been
    i hv a b.f dat we’ve been dating over two years naw but unfortunately we lost contact on us getting to meet each other again we hv to start where we stop but if he invite me to his place he has two wardrope on for d gal he’s dating be4 we meet back if i should ask him who owe’s d cloths nd shoes he will say his is galfrnd nd i will as him who i am he will say am his galfrnd to but at tyms he try to avoid me anytime d gal is around if i go 4 visit i will hv to leave d next day but if is dat gal two days nd smtimes 1week but he keep telling me dat i cant understand dat all he knw is dat he love’s me so much nd i luv him too,plss wat can i do

    1. Hi Annabel.

      Hi Annabel.

      Its sounds as though your partner has another girlfriend. You need to have a talk with him about it in order to know whether he wants to pursue a single relationship like you. If not then you need to make a choice about what you want for yourself.

  99. I met a guy 4yrs ago and we
    I met a guy 4yrs ago and we are still in a relationship but he have stop caring for me since we made love. He doesn’t like staying with me unless i tricked he with a promise of having sex with he. We talked about getting married but now he is telling me that he’s parents said that he give his self time and i don’t have that time .he always introduce me to his friends but not his family. He only act like he cares when he feels or knows that someone is asking me out infact he do feel jealous,i feel like he is not ready for marriage but need me for sex. So now i have decided not to have sex with he. In fact now i don’t really love him again but I’m pretending to love he because I want revenge. The way he makes me to cry and wait for him i want he to surfer that way too. I’m mine really over he or I’m suppressing the love in form of revenge or what. Please i need your advice seriously. Thanks

    1. Hi Smarty,

      Hi Smarty,

      You need to realize that revenge is a double edged sword and as much as you want to hurt him you might end up hurting yourself.

      Take time to think about what you really want. It might be easier just to end the relationship and move on.

      1. Fallacy tuque quo. You can’t
        Fallacy tuque quo. You can’t right a wrong by doing another wrong

  100. There dis guy I meet online,
    There dis guy I meet online, He said he likes me nd would lyk to see me in person.he gave me his contact.I call him almost everyday but he don’t call as I do, except on my bd DAT he text nd called me,i av asked him if am a disturbance to him he said no his comfortable wit my calls dat he feels bad when i dont call him.he lyks me telling him I luv him, but his reply will be bless me .de other day he asked me de kind of luv I have for him I told him agape luv he didn’t say anytin.Am confused wat should I do pls I need ur advice.

  101. Am a married woman,nd my
    Am a married woman,nd my husband is my first love our daughter is just 4yrs+ ,my husband never remember to send me a birthday messages,is possible for me to fall in love with another man

    1. Hi DY,

      Hi DY,

      Its normal for people to forget even important dates, but that does not mean they do not love you.

      You can always remind him so that he does not forget.

  102. Therz agal am interested in
    Therz agal am interested in but weneva i tel her dat i lov her, she jst smiles nd go away.I feel lyk shez da only gal i cn lov.Pse giv me da easier way to make her kno hw i feel abt her thx

  103. i hv a bf and we hv bin in
    i hv a bf and we hv bin in luv for 3yrs bt weneva we r 2 meet he disappoints me

    1. Sorry to hear that Hannah.
      Sorry to hear that Hannah. Have you tried to express that to him?

  104. hy am madly in love with diz
    hy am madly in love with diz gal but her sister doesn’t wana c her tok to me even on fone some times she escapes to meet me but when she gets home her sis blows her with words noe I don’t know if one day she wakes up and give up on me coz of her sis pliz advice

    1. Hi Fred, only time will tell.
      Hi Fred, only time will tell. If she loves you enough then her sister should not play a big part in your relationship. You should probably talk to her about it and find out where she stands with it.

  105. I Love My Gal Nd She Tells Me
    I Love My Gal Nd She Tells Me She Loves Me Too Bt Her Character Doesnt Shows It. How Can I Be Sure She Is Not Cheating On Me?

  106. pls i need ur advice, i add
    pls i need ur advice, i add an emergency message to delivered to my gud but when i call him he refused to pick up the call about twice, so i decided not to call again incease he was busy so about 5min.time he call me back,so i asked him if it was a crime 4 him 2 pick my call, be4 i deliver the message 2him,about 7pm in evening he calls me back he was angry with me and be asking me while i should address him in such manner,i was confused becos we’ ve not been in a fight or guarrel,i told him that it was a yoke, i told him that i am sorry about it since then he refused to cal my line and recieved me the way he used to, ve tired to talk to him he refused to listen pls advice me.

    1. Hi Destiny,

      Hi Destiny,

      It sounds as though your partner is angry about how you communicated. Its ok and normal to have fights in relationships. The most important thing is to always solve the issues that arise. Give it time and when he is ready to talk you can try to resolve the issue.

      All the best to both of you.

  107. Hi.am 36 yrs.i met this guy
    Hi.am 36 yrs.i met this guy on internet n he was fun.we mhad a date n planning fr marriage but the problem wth him is tht he never calls me.i call him everytime n he says he is just busy.sometimes he never picks my called.am worried about this relationship whenever i tell him so he says hes cool am the one restless n he kept his word we will get married.am scared fr ths relationship.what do i do?

  108. I hav agf whm i meet on fb
    I hav agf whm i meet on fb.its nw one year in love.
    bt my frndz am vry scared coz whenevr we gt mis undrstndngz,in stead ov gtng annyd lyk othr pple,4 ha she jst telz mi dat Ibra i hv left ela i dnt hv dat tym 2 love.en then afta,we sort our selvz.
    bt 4 mi i love ha vry mch.

    so ma frndz,does she realy lovez mi wiz such areaction

    1. Hi Zlatan,

      Hi Zlatan,
      From what you have said it sounds like she has already stated hat she does not have time for love.

  109. I have a bf but he told me
    I have a bf but he told me that he chucked me for good, he told that he got another gf with good behaviors but I love him so much his on ma heart. Whenever I kol him he just tel I stop that he caught me three times ,I have bagged for exsue but has refused ,he posts only the comments which hrts me.wat can I do coz love him??

  110. I’ve two guys am so confuse
    I’ve two guys am so confuse the one that Loves me more I don’t know what to do. And it makes me feel so bad each time am with one of them thinking am cheating on the other guy. I don’t know what to do.

    1. Hi Vera,

      Hi Vera,

      The fact that you feel guilty is because you are cheating on them. You need to take time and decide what it is that you want and make a decision. You have the power to change how things are all you need to do is make a choice.

      All the best to you.

  111. Hi love, I and ma bf were
    Hi love, I and ma bf were chattin and he said I shud send him ma naked pix but I refused and e make it clear to me dat day. Dat he wil neva talk to me on sex or av sex with me, I tried to make him understand d reasons for ma ans bt all effort prove abbortive and e said e want a relationship without sex but he would had sex outside and if e ever ask me of sex, God shud take him, so I was angry and sad at d same time, so I break up with him dat day and I told him dat it s beta to break up with him rada dan God shud take him cos of nude pix, bt seriously I luv him nt I’ve been able to avoid me and recently he called me, I tried avoidin his calls bt later pick it up and always asking me y I dnt call? Bt I want to avoid him to get over d feelibgs for him, wat shud I do?, av I made a mistake of breaking up with him? Really confused

  112. I’v a girl that works close
    I’v a girl that works close to me, she loves my presence if I went to somwhere she often my shop and ask my where abt I never had it in mind to date her cuz am skulin but the affection is 2 mch so I decide to advance.. So as she notice I’m falling she started showin less care she no longer com look in for me any more often so I started gettin angry now she’s pikin offence of any thing I say (insultive) pls help

    1. Hi

      Hi

      it normal for girls to send mixed signals like that when they have an interest to a particular thing.

      You do not need to be angry at her, instead do nice things for her and try to win her heart like a gentleman. Hopefully if she’s genuine interested you two will be in a relationship.

      All the best to you.

    2. hey,love is like electricity
      hey,love is like electricity,comes on and went off,she cometh to realise that the money you were cathering for her now much has started going to your school fee so that is why she has started showing you such kind of behavier,drop her that one is extravagant on your material.

  113. hey love.my gf every time we
    hey love.my gf every time we get a misunderstanding she only say that we break up bt after few hours she start to call ,text and bip mi frequently and when pick or call she only say that i wanted only to greet you.forsure i love her.wt should i do.

    1. hey,sometime love does not
      hey,sometime love does not have boundaries,the way you treats her sesms to be good upon her so even you’ve misunderstanding,she recalls back your goodness and tries let you back to your normal senses….continuo with her plz.

      1. Thanks for your input Machuki
        Thanks for your input Machuki.

  114. I have this guy whom we met
    I have this guy whom we met and I got madly in love with him. But he’s not a virgin and I am. Should we date still?

    1. Hi Vanessa,

      Hi Vanessa,

      Do you feel the fact that he is not a virgin might affect your relationship in anyway?

    2. I think you have to open your
      I think you have to open your heart and tell he what you fill for her.

      1. Thanks for your input Enock.
        Thanks for your input Enock.

  115. advise me plz I ‘ve ma bf we
    advise me plz I ‘ve ma bf we ‘ve spnt 2 yrs n luv at 1st he asked 4 sex en I jxt chucked him he apologised en he tld me he wl nvr ask 4 t bt nwdayz weneva he cals me he tels me 2 Leav home en go 2 marry him bt am stl skulin en am nt intrstd n marriage bt am afraid at da same tym he might chuck me

    1. Hi

      Hi

      Every relationship has its ups-and-downs, especially when you spend a lot of time with each other. Certain things will make you angry or upset which, in turn, can lead to an argument. It’s just a normal part of any relationship.

      you should be comfortable to Being able to say no to sex if you do not want it. You should not be apologetic about it.
      If your partner loves you enough they will be patient. If not they will leave and you will be lucky enough to to have fallen to their trap.

      Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/talking-your-partner .

  116. hi, i hav a gf i love lots,
    hi, i hav a gf i love lots, bt i trust ha less she is so cute n atractive to evry one and they always vibe her she tries showin me som chats with guys vybing ha bt stil am nt contented. she shows she loves me bt i stil hav doubt., coz we share passwards for fb bt all she was doin is teling evry guy who vybs ha that i lov u and givs in ha nomba easly. asks for pics of d guys vybing ha so i toked abt it now she abandoned fb. she z now using whatsapp only. i stil wory she has som otha guys. o she hav fun wth otha guys in a way of lov.o sex chat. ts all i think. bt stil i love ha, bt am woried she myt disapoint me one day. coz she z proud since she hav alot of guys asking for her..am confused.

    1. Sorry that you are going
      Sorry that you are going through this Nics.

      If you know your partner well and have had a close, long-term relationship, you can often tell when something’s not right. You might notice that they’ve begun spending a lot more time at work, they have less time for you and your family, start taking calls in private, and seem less committed to doing things with you. Maybe they’re paying attention to their looks, and they appear confused and detached. When you ask them if anything’s wrong, they shrug off your question.

      Finding out that your partner’s been cheating on you can be a traumatic experience. It can seriously damange the trust between the two of you and could even lead to a break-up, separation or divorce. You might spend days, weeks or months wondering what you did wrong and why this happened.

      But don’t blame yourself – take some time to calm down and think about your relationship.

      Whether you want to stay with your partner depends on a number of things. Is your partner willing to go on? If they are, what will it take for them to regain your trust? Will your trust in them ever be restored? How can you start rebuilding your relationship? The answers may not be simple, but give these questions some thought and it might help you decide on the right path to take.

  117. Hae pliz I need help …….
    Hae pliz I need help ……. I hv a lady whm was my best frnd
    She’s skullng we talk. We fck.we do craizy staff she tells me she loves me bt she wants as to be jst frnds ….lyk she doesn’t want a serious relationshp she once told me am. Too good to be hurtd and she has that thng of love fade. I love her and am craizy. Pliz help……..

    1. Hi Jimmy,

      Hi Jimmy,

      It sounds like she has made herself clear about what she wants. If you want to be in a relationship where someone feels the same as you, you need to start thinking about being with someone else. Take time and think about it.

  118. Hi love,last nght my gf came
    Hi love,last nght my gf came vore for a slp over for the first time we engaged in kissing for some time n then fell into bed,the thing is we are both vrgns and had decided not to engage in sex till marriage whch is very soon,i qas able to control myself but she had gotten in to the feeling and was very week to an extent of giving in,i rem her and she pushed me away n started crying,am soo confussx since i feel as if she thnks i was inviting her over to have sex ,she says tht we ahld forget jt and move on ,no sleep overs no kissing,to me i feel that things have changed frm the we looked at each other n trusted each other keeping this boundaries makes me feel as if she will never trust my ideas n decisions ,wat do i do to win her trust n forget about that experience coz i cant get over it????

    1. Hi,

      Hi,

      It sounds as though you need to have a talk about it and express how you feel about the situation. Its normal to make mistakes in relationship but talking about it always helps. All the best to you.

  119. it is good to knew all this I
    it is good to knew all this I thank you

    1. You are most welcome David.
      You are most welcome David.

  120. Hello,

    Hello,
    I need help it seems I attract only married en old men but I dnt like them I need a single guy to settle with of recent I went to hospital en I was found with developing fibroids was told to convince but I hv no guy I love.what do I do

    1. Hi Marion,

      Hi Marion,

      Sorry about the medical condition. Hopefully the doctors can be able to treat you so that you are healthy again.

      Getting to meet someone is the first step. Dating takes time and you need to get to know your partner well enough before you start thinking of having a child with them.

      It would be a good idea to try and sort out your medical issue first as you try to find a partner. Here are some tips o meeting new people https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/how-approach-and-talk-new-people .

  121. Am truly helped but now Am…
    Am truly helped but now Am afraid am in arong relationship!

    1. (No subject)
      Hey Samantha,
      What makes you feel you are in a wrong relationship?
      If you feel you are in a wrong relationship then you have a decision to make. Take sometime and think about it and then make an informed choice.

  122. How do I know a guy is…
    How do I know a guy is playing with my feelings

    1. Hi Jero, You may want to be…
      Hi Jero, You may want to be gin by asking him how he feels toward you. If you have fears that he could be playing with your feelings share with him your concerns and fears so that together you can agree on how to proceed.

  123. Does fluently in speaking…
    Does fluently in speaking has to do with relationship?

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Youzardep,
      Anybody can get into a relationship even if they are very fluent as long as they can communicate and express their wishes and desires. What is key s communication and not necessary how fluent one is. We wish you well.

  124. Truely that’sthe fact
    Truely that’sthe fact

  125. K,then what can I do for…
    K,then what can I do for agirl who comes and visit me but we can’t practice sex,isn’t she lieng me

    1. (No subject)
      Hello Hen,

      Have you found out from your partner why she is not ready to have sex with you?

      You seem to be in different places in your relationship, you feel ready to go to the next level while she doesn’t. The decision to have sex is an important decision one that one needs to carefully consider including thinking about whether it is the right time, whether they are with the right person, how they plan to protect against unplanned pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections among others. Talk to your partner to get to know what her reasons are so you can both find a solution. Whatever her reasons are you will have to respect her choice.

  126. I love you guys …
    I love you guys
    thenx for putting us on line

    1. …and we love you right…
      …and we love you right back Amos. We are glad you find the information here useful.

  127. ok thx alot for ur advise
    ok thx alot for ur advise

    1. We hope you meet someone…
      We hope you meet someone soon Dihayah.

  128. What if xhe doxn’t hear any…
    What if xhe doxn’t hear any of my wordx

    1. Hi Nobert,…
      Hi Nobert,

      Then you respect her choice since you cant for her to be with you if she is not interested. We wish you well.

  129. But what if she fears to…
    But what if she fears to tell you what is on her minds/ What should you do

    1. Hello Mwebaze, This is…
      Hello Mwebaze, This is fairly normal especially if you are in the early stages of the relationship. Try get get her comfortable to share her feelings, for instance instead of a face to conversation you could try texting which might be easier.

  130. Have learnt much here today…
    Have learnt much here today for sure. Great work keep it up

    1. We are glad Moses, we…
      We are glad Moses, we appreciate the feedback.

  131. Thanks so much..but it hurts…
    Thanks so much..but it hurts when it comes out that your partner played with ur feelings..as in what he felt for u was just lust n never love whereas u had very strong feeling for him..give me some advice coz thats what really happened to me.

    1. Hi Ann, breakups are tough…
      Hi Ann, breakups are tough. It is even tougher when you realize the person you thought loved you didn’t. Unfortunately all relationships will not last forever, even when you do your best sometimes a relationship may not work. This was not your fault and though this hurts now, life does go on. It takes time to get over a break up but eventually you will. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  132. I lyk dat nd its true
    I lyk dat nd its true

  133. Am in a relation with a guy…
    Am in a relation with a guy who usually don,t support me financially and am wondering coz sometimes he do ask 4 money frm me. plz help.

  134. Hey Sara, Perhaps you need…
    Hey Sara, Perhaps you need to share with him your expectations of the relationship and the expectations you have toward him as your partner. You can the both agree on how to proceed.

  135. We are so great ed blessed…
    We are so great ed blessed to learn such tactics I hope our relationships will nt remain the same

    1. Hi Sammy, We are glad you…

      Hi Sammy, We are glad you found the information here useful. We wish you all the best in your relationship. 

  136. So when a girl says she don…
    So when a girl says she don’t want to have sex now and still claims to love you,it’s true?

  137. very nc ideia hp it w’ll hlp…
    very nc ideia hp it w’ll hlp me in a rln

    1. Thank you Kelly, it is our…

      Thank you Kelly, it is our hope too that you will be able to build a healthy and strong relationship. 

  138. can i meet someone here for…
    can i meet someone here for a long term relationship?

    1. Hey MM, unfortunately we are…

      Hey MM, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. We do wish you all the best.

    1. Hey Willy, what about…

      Hey Willy, what about relationships?

  139. I met this girl who I now…
    I met this girl who I now like very much. We are friends and meet often at events. I have been planning to tell her how I feel but I think she will reject me if I ask her to be my girlfriend. How should I approach her to win her over? I really want her in my life, help a brother.

    1. Hi Ssembewa, If you’re in…

      Hi Ssembewa, If you’re in love with this person, the next thing to do is to find out if she feels the same to ward you. Most of the time you can guess if she is interested in your, especially when you are friends like it is in your case. You may never get to know for sure how she feels towards you unless you ask. You have to be brave, find a good time and ask her how she feels toward you as you also tell her how you feel toward her. She maybe interested in you or not, so think carefully about what either outcome will me for your current relationship with her, this way as you make the nest step you are clear about the possible outcomes. We do wish you all the best.

  140. am in love with my gf she is…
    am in love with my gf she is also in love with me we ussualy go out for a walk bt i dont have much to say to her what should i do?

    1. Hi Ronnie, it is good that…

      Hi Ronnie, it is good that you both love each other. Spending time with each other is an important part of any relationship and while you do this communication is key since this is one way of getting to know each other. One way to keep the conversation going is to start with topics that you both comfortable talking about and interested in since you will both have something to contribute. Also, it is important that you communicate which means you actively listen, show interest in what your partner is saying and not just want for your turn to talk or obsess over what to ask or talk about next. 

  141. I have been in enough failed…
    I have been in enough failed relationships please help meet someone here for something longterm.

    1. Hey Victor, unfortunately we…

      Hey Victor, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. We encourage you though to keep trying, not every relationship you get into will last forever, because one has failed, does not mean the next one will fail. Get into situations where you will meet lots of new people and once you see someone you like approach them. We wish you well. We wish you well. 

  142. Help me get partner please
    Help me get partner please

    1. Hey Georgie , sorry but we…

      Hey Georgie , sorry but we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. We wish you well. 

  143. I am looking for a white…
    I am looking for a white lady to date for long term relationship. She must be 45 year is and above. I am young African man

    1. Hi Steve, unfortunately we…

      Hi Steve, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you mean someone. We wish you well. 

  144. There is this girl I like…
    There is this girl I like but so much how can make her accept to be my girlfriend?

    1. Hey, you really can’t make…

      Hey, you really can’t make her accept to be your girlfriend, but you can tell her how you feel and then see if she feels the same or if she would be interested in a relationship with you. There is no way to tell how she will respond to your request, the only way is to ask her. If she is not interested, you will have to respect her choice. We wish you all the best.

  145. What is the fomular for…
    What is the fomular for approaching a girl and she accepts your proposal?

    1. Hey Roy, first if you like…

      Hey Roy, first if you like someone the right thing to do is to approach them and tell them how it is you feel. It is important to be confident and honest with them. It is however important to also realize they still hold the power to accept your proposal or not. If they choose to not accept your proposal all you can do is to respect that choice. Lastly, that the last girl was not interested in your proposal, doesn’t mean the next one will also not be interested. Move on and try again. We wish you all the best. 

  146. If a girl says she likes you…
    If a girl says she likes you but she doesn’t love you what does she mean?

    1. Hey Hussein, it means…

      Hey Hussein, it means exactly that, but it also depends with what the context of the conversation was. it Maybe helpful to just find out from the person what they meant by this, particularly if one was looking to get into a relationship with the person.

  147. there is a certain girl l am…
    there is a certain girl l am interested in I like her very much.. ..but l don’t have the courage to let her know…

    1. Hi Teddy, if you are…

      Hi Teddy, if you are uncertain about how she feels about you, be brave tell how you feel and also get to know how she feels about you. Remember she may never get to know how you feel until you tell. So, go on be brave and let her know. This way you get to know how to proceed.

  148. I have been in a rltshp with…
    I have been in a rltshp with a gal for sometime then she left me for another guy later they parted. Recently she came to greet me where I live and to best of my thoughts she still loves me. Should I accept her back as a marriage partner advice me on this

    1. Hello John, did you ask her…

      Hello John, did you ask her if this is what she wants? It is important you think about whether you want to get back together her and then ask whether she is interested in getting back with you. It is however important you talk about why she left in the first place and then address the issues that made her leave to try and try to reduce the chances of this happening again should you get back together. Lastly, that she came to visit you doesn’t mean that she wa to you back. Talk to her, get to know if this is what she wants. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-can-i-get-back-my-ex

  149. I am in love with a someone…
    I am in love with a someone but I fear rejection? Is it really right for a girl to approach a guy?

    1. Hey Sara, first there is…

      Hey Sara, first there is nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out, though the traditional practice is for the girl to wait for the guy. But what if he never gets round it…a girl can ask a guy out and this will have no negative effect on their relationship should they choose to be together. There is the possibility of rejection, unfortunately you may not get to know if a person will accept or reject without asking. We do wish you well. Check this out;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/saying-no-and-dealing-with-rejection

  150. How can you know for sure…
    How can you know for sure that a girl you spend time with likes you before asking her out?

  151. my partner wants us to watch…
    my partner wants us to watch porn and then act it out, is this something that people do? I have not spoken to him from when he asked for this, I am very confused.

  152. I am looking for a girl for…
    I am looking for a girl for a long term relationship can you hook me up…

    1. Hey Mike, unfortunately, we…

      Hey Mike, unfortunately, we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet some. All the best. 

  153. Thank you I have learn…
    Thank you I have learn something new here

    1. You are welcome Langat.

      You are welcome Langat.

  154. I am new gal for a first…
    I am new gal for a first date, I need ideas for a first date. Should we go at night or during the day, is it OK to ask her what she likes for a first date or she will find me boring and I loose points? I am not got at conversations how will I keep her talking during this date so that we don’t get bored? I will appreciate the help.

    1. Hi Annette, there is nothing…

      Hi Annette, there is nothing wrong with you asking her what she would prefer especially because you are still new to each other. The first date should be comfortable both in terms of time and location for both of you. If you don’t know enough about her to plan a date, talk with her and get to know what she would like. During the date, try and talk about topics that are easy to talk about and things you are both interested in. Avoid things that are likely to cause tension during the date. The intention is not really to keep her talking during the entire date but to have a conversation that will be engaging and enjoyable for you both. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/tips-for-great-first-dates

  155. Hi I have been dating but…
    Hi I have been dating but for every girl I dated it end up breaking the time I go to pick her to come n settle she switch off her phone or say she is not ready what’s the problem

    1. Hello Robert, it seems that…

      Hello Robert, it seems that they were not ready to settle down at that point. It may be useful to express your desire of settling down including when you wish do that early in the relationship to make sure this is clear. This will help determine if this is what the person you are dating wants as well and will also help you both decide how to proceed. Having said that, not all relationships will last a life time but just because one didn’t work doesn’t mean the next one won’t work. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  156. alright my guy what about if…
    alright my guy what about if the girl come and meet you that let have sex and i am not ready to have sex now what am i going to do?

  157. How do you make a girl to…
    How do you make a girl to fall in love with you?

    1. You are welcome Mary.

      You are welcome Mary.

  158. am okay with this lesson an…
    am okay with this lesson an this advice, happy.

    1. You are welcome David. 

      You are welcome David. 

    1. You are welcome Abdulsalam.

      You are welcome Abdulsalam.

  159. Ha! Thenks so much,all what…
    Ha! Thenks so much,all what i read it will help me alot .

    1. You are welcome Kabe.

      You are welcome Kabe.

  160. thanks i really apppreciate
    thanks i really apppreciate

    1. You are welcome Elizabeth.

      You are welcome Elizabeth.

    1. You are welcome Sulyman.

      You are welcome Sulyman.

    1. Hey Peace, what about love?

      Hey Peace, what about love?

  161. Thanks for the info. I just…
    Thanks for the info. I just started dating this guy…, we’re in the 3rd month of our relationship but it’s like it’s pulling away. The guy doesn’t call or text back the way he used to. Wht might be the problem…, pls help

    1. You are welcome Kenil.

      You are welcome Kenil.

  162. Tanx alot
    I think dis will…

    Tanx alot
    I think dis will help

    1. Hey Mhiz, we are glad this…

      Hey Mhiz, we are glad this is useful.

  163. Thanks I learned much it…
    Thanks I learned much it helps alot

    1. You are welcome Queen.

      You are welcome Queen.

    1. Hey Manir, thank you.

      Hey Manir, thank you.

  164. Hello family, is it better…
    Hello family, is it better to meet someone in a club or a church?

    1. Hello Tim, people meet in…

      Hello Tim, people meet in all manner of places and go on to have great, fulfilling relationships. It all depends with what one wants and where they are looking for the kind of person they want. 

  165. I met a girl on FB by the…
    I met a girl on FB by the name Aisha. I thought she was a muslim but when we met she said she is a Christian but I think she is lying. I am confused because I am Muslim and I want a muslim girlfriend. Should I continue dating her or give up?

    1. Hello Bussein, if she says…

      Hello Bussein, if she says she is a christian then you have to believe her especially if it is important that you get into a relationship with a person of the Muslim faith. Since she says she is of a different faith, it maybe time to break up especially because issues of faith are usually deep sitted and one may not be willing to compromise on this. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/religion-is-it-a-big-deal

    1. Hey Wasp, we sure do hope so…

      Hey Wasp, we sure do hope so too. All the best.

    1. You are welcome David. Feel…

      You are welcome David. Feel free to ask any questions on Love, Sex and Relationships. We shall be more than glad to respond to you.

    1. Thank you for the feedback,…

      Thank you for the feedback, Fayokemi.

  166. What if the girl is not on…
    What if the girl is not on Facebook what’s to be done

    1. Hi Vlado, there are many…

      Hi Vlado, there are many other ways or social media platforms you can interact if they are not on Facebook. Also the process to set up an account is not to elaborate if this is important for your relationship. 

  167. Cool thanks alot I got…
    Cool thanks alot I got something for that

    1. You are welcome Vlado.

      You are welcome Vlado.

    1. You are welcome Merit. 

      You are welcome Merit. 

  168. this was cool expireance
    this was cool expireance

  169. I want to understand…
    I want to understand relationship very well

    1. Hey, what exactly would you…

      Hey, what exactly would you like to learn?

  170. Is good to date before…
    Is good to date before marriage in other to avoid mistakes and know the right person for you

    1. Hey Suleiman, if you are…

      Hey Suleiman, if you are planning to get married dating can help you get to know your partner which helps to enhance your relationship. So yes, it is good to date before marriage. Be clear about what you want and what you you want from the dating experience. We wish you all the best. 

  171. Love is a sweet thing when…
    Love is a sweet thing when you meet with a good person

  172. is it true that love does…
    is it true that love does not need money

  173. What must I know before…
    What must I know before having sex?

    1. Hi Lexi, it is important to…

      Hi Lexi, it is important to think about whether it is the right time for you, whether you are with the right person, whether you are ready to deal with the consequences of having sex and also how do you choose prevent unplanned pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections. Take time and learn as much as you can about sex before making the decision to do it. Check out the following article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/virginity/first-time-sex-what-to-expect

    1. Hello Salam, how may we help…

      Hello Salam, how may we help you?

  174. Wow am interested in this…
    Wow am interested in this teaching

    1. Always pleased to help.

      Always pleased to help.

  175. I have learnt something that…
    I have learnt something that’s important

  176. We love our subscribers…

    We love our subscribers right back and are always here to help! 🙂

  177. I have never be Inlove, and…
    I have never be Inlove, and never dated because of religious beliefs
    And stories told about dating men how disappointing they can be.
    But I met someone someone who asked me out, many times I declined the proposals because I never wantedto go into a serious relationship and he is a married man but because we always see each other,he is a customer where I work, and he so caring and understanding he so natural,
    I started to like him and he asked me to see him in an hotel, at first I was nevous to go because I have never gone out with a man,
    But my friends said I should go.
    So I went, and after meeting in the hotel nothing happened becare I said no and he listens since then we met in the hotel frequently but I never allowed him to have sex with me but he still listens until one day he kissed me without my knowledge so I wanted to stop him but I couldn’t because I really like it, it was my first kiss but I never wanted to stop, since then I feel eager to see him,we have been romancing each other but no sexual intercourse yet till now and I think I love him, although he is a married man and much more older than me.
    What can I do ??

    1. Hello Genny?, thank you for…

      Hello Genny?, thank you for reaching out to us. Considering everything you have told us, it is understandable that you would feel a little confused about the whole situation. Considering everything that has happened, what do you feel you want to do?

    1. Hi Cyndy, thank you for…

      Hi Cyndy, thank you for getting in touch and sharing your positive feedback with us. Have a wonderful weekend and stay safe!

  178. Am privileged to have read…
    Am privileged to have read the article, i think am inspired.

    1. Hi Kelvin, thank you for…

      Hi Kelvin, thank you for your feedback. We are always pleased to help!

  179. Always pleased to help,…

    Always pleased to help, Bruce, have a lovely week ahead and stay safe.

  180. Am in love with a girl, like…
    Am in love with a girl, like she give me her attantion, she is always there for me anytime i need her. Whenever she has a problem am the first person she inform, we mostly spend time together at my place and even kiss. I proposed her but she said she cannot be in a relationship with me. Is there a way to change her mind

  181. Hello Anonymous, thank you…

    Hello Anonymous, thank you for getting in touch and we are so gald you have identified someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Do not panic. There may be some personal reasons in her life that she in currently unable to express to you for one reason or another but that does not necessarily mean she does not feel the same way about you. Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well. Everything will be okay and we are here for you. Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe buddy!

    1. Hi Umar, thank you for…

      Hi Umar, thank you for reaching out to us. Are you interested in dating?

       

    1. Hi James, seems like you got…

      Hi James, seems like you got cut off, could you kindly write out your comment again.

  182. Hi Temitayo, thank you for…

    Hi Temitayo, thank you for your input. We appreciate it.

  183. I want you to be my…
    I want you to be my girlfriend

  184. This is awesome i really…
    This is awesome i really really like the idea

  185. Thank you for your feedback…

    Thank you for your feedback Eminent Abasi-ubong, we are so glad that we are able to help, please feel free to reach out to us in case you need and any more information and explore our site for more information! Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!

  186. What about u left him…
    What about u left him without informed him then u asked him tu forgive and refuse then he had another girl friend

    1. We are glad Iwada Julius,…

      We are glad Iwada Julius, please feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

  187. Intriguing,educative, more…
    Intriguing,educative, more strength

    1. Thank you for your wonderful…

      Thank you for your wonderful words Samuel and we are so glad! Please feel free to go through our website for more interesting and educative content and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any question regarding love, sex and relationships.  

  188. Nice educative
    But my…

    Nice educative
    But my question is wat are those signs to know if she is truly in love with you

    1. Hi Samuel Ajemide, thank you…

      Hi Samuel Ajemide, thank you for getting in touch with us and asking a great question! 

      Love is an intense feeling of deep affection towards another person.  Love is warm, it is kind and patient. Love is forgiving. Love is a feeling of a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. 

      Check this article for more information on what love is;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/a-simple-question-with-infinite-answers

      Interestingly, love also presents in different ways. We all have love Languages. These are ways in which we express love for our loved ones. These love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

      This article has more information on these love languages and how they present. Go through it and let us know if you still have any questions.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/do-you-speak-the-right-language-when-it-comes-to-love 

  189. Fact, educative,and…
    Fact, educative,and intriguing
    But how do I know if she is truly in love or just wanna remaining a friend

    1. Hello Eldon, thank you for…

      Hello Eldon, thank you for your feedback. We appreciate it.

    1. HI Michael, 

      We are glad…

      HI Michael, 

      We are glad you like it!

  190. I have learnt from this alot…
    I have learnt from this alot it really nice

    1. Hi Iyua, 

      That is great to…

      Hi Iyua, 

      That is great to hear! Keep visiting Love Matters for more informative content. 

  191. I have a boyfriend we have…
    I have a boyfriend we have been in dating for 4 months and have realized it’s fading now .. what the next step should I take

    1. Hi Morningstar, 

      The best…

      Hi Morningstar, 

      The best thing to do is to have an open and honest conversation with him. Express your observation and ask him to open up about what he wants out of this relationship. If you never had this conversation when the relationship started, it is important to have it as it will help you make an informed decision about your life. If his aspirations for the relationship do not align with yours you should definitely walk away. 

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