Whenever you think of approaching her and asking her out, fear stops you in your tracks; after all, she is beautiful and the more courageous men have already been trying to get in her good books by buying her coffee and attending to her every need.
It takes guts
The thought of approaching someone you fancy can be daunting, especially with the risk of being turned down or humiliated in the process.
However, just as the Good Book says: you have not because you ask not.
Moses shares his advice on how to ask someone on a date.
I’ve always been a reserved guy and the thought of directly approaching women makes my stomach churn. But I have also come to realise you can miss an opportunity if you don’t make yourself heard and seen.
Business is like dating
I learnt this when I was pursuing an internship during my last year at university. Many of my classmates had no problem getting an internship because they aggressively sent applications to organisations and when they did not get a response, were bold enough to show up at their offices without appointments, get past security and make their case.
It’s only when I put shyness and shame to the side and knocked vigorously on doors that they opened. And that has been the beginning of my aggressively going after what I want.
Now to dating. There was a lady from my church I was attracted to. She had a spot she always sat at every Sunday and I decided to sit a few rows behind her so I could see her walk out at the end of every service. As much as I was in the house of the Lord, my mind would wander. I’m ashamed to say I would sometimes get an erection.
Because this was church and not a club, I could not step to her and go, 'Hey, your body is a wonderland and I would like to see you in your birthday suit'. I had to be tactical. I found out she was part of a bible study group and joined it.
I ensured I was an active participant and was selected to be the deputy group leader, which meant I would get in touch with members often.
That’s how I warmed my way into Joyce’s heart. I would send her encouraging messages, offered to help whenever she had a problem and before I knew it, she had grown fond of me.
She started giving me the look which says, 'All you have to do is ask and I’ll say "yes”'.'
Aking Joyce out
So I did: I asked her out on a date and she said yes and that is how I started dating the girl of my dreams.
It might seem a little scheming, but life is a scheme. If you don’t plan for it, it will make its own plans for you.
I advise every guy interested in a girl to make their move subtly. Find out what she likes and what she doesn’t and be the person she can turn to.
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