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The perfect way to ask someone out

You have been admiring her from a distance. Now you just have to ask her out on a date. Easy, right? No, terrifying. But it doesn't have to be...

Whenever you think of approaching her and asking her out, fear stops you in your tracks; after all, she is beautiful and the more courageous men have already been trying to get in her good books by buying her coffee and attending to her every need.

It takes guts

The thought of approaching someone you fancy can be daunting, especially with the risk of being turned down or humiliated in the process.

However, just as the Good Book says: you have not because you ask not.

Moses shares his advice on how to ask someone on a date.

I’ve always been a reserved guy and the thought of directly approaching women makes my stomach churn. But I have also come to realise you can miss an opportunity if you don’t make yourself heard and seen.

Business is like dating

I learnt this when I was pursuing an internship during my last year at university. Many of my classmates had no problem getting an internship because they aggressively sent applications to organisations and when they did not get a response, were bold enough to show up at their offices without appointments, get past security and make their case.

It’s only when I put shyness and shame to the side and knocked vigorously on doors that they opened. And that has been the beginning of my aggressively going after what I want.

Church love

Now to dating. There was a lady from my church I was attracted to. She had a spot she always sat at every Sunday and I decided to sit a few rows behind her so I could see her walk out at the end of every service. As much as I was in the house of the Lord, my mind would wander. I’m ashamed to say I would sometimes get an erection.

Because this was church and not a club, I could not step to her and go, 'Hey, your body is a wonderland and I would like to see you in your birthday suit'. I had to be tactical. I found out she was part of a bible study group and joined it.

I ensured I was an active participant and was selected to be the deputy group leader, which meant I would get in touch with members often.

That’s how I warmed my way into Joyce’s heart. I would send her encouraging messages, offered to help whenever she had a problem and before I knew it, she had grown fond of me.

She started giving me the look which says, 'All you have to do is ask and I’ll say "yes”'.'

Aking Joyce out

So I did: I asked her out on a date and she said yes and that is how I started dating the girl of my dreams.
It might seem a little scheming, but life is a scheme. If you don’t plan for it, it will make its own plans for you.

I advise every guy interested in a girl to make their move subtly. Find out what she likes and what she doesn’t and be the person she can turn to.


Do you have trouble asking someone out? Head to our forum, our moderators are there to help!

Did you learn something new?

Comments

Hi Gonaldo, you would have to tell her how to feel to see if she feels the same or whether she is interested. Try and reach out to her tell her how you feel. Remember, you may find that she is interested on not and you will have to respect how she feels particularly if she is not interested in dating. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

Hi I am in love with a girl who is 3 years older than me and she has been my friend for a very longtime and we have grown together but she feels like am not meant for her since am younger than her,what can I do to make things smooth?

Hi John, first, when it comes to relationships, age is really just a number. What's important is whether both persons are inlove, they want to together and that they are mature enough to address the issues that come with a relationship. In your case, all you can do is to try and convince her that you can still be happy together even with the age difference. On the other hand, she needs to want to be with you and she also should like you enough to want to be with you. If she doesn't want to be with you, you will have to respect her choice regardless of what her reasons are. Have a look at the following article that you can also share with her;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/does-age-difference-matter

Thank you much for sharing Belinda! We completely agree with you. It is important to note that the legal dating age in Kenya is 18, therefore, if both individuals are over the age of 18 and they are both able to respect, love, and understand one another, then it is great! Have a wonderful week ahead and stay safe!

Anonymous
Thu, 12/05/2019 - 02:31 am
I have a girl which i am i love with for more than a year now and i have tried telling her my feelings but up to now she still refused my proposal, what can i do?

Thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Sometimes we love people and they do not love us back. That is perfectly okay it may hurt but we cannot force people to love us. Also, if we could, would we want love that is given unwillingly? All we can do is love people and hope they will love us back.

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