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Quantity vs quality: what matters when it comes to sex?

Does sex equal sex or does it actually matter what you do during a make-out session? Five people share their thoughts.

  • All about quality

    For me, sex is all about quality. I’d rather have good sex once every two weeks than have routine sex three times a week. Good-quality sex to me means my man gives his all during foreplay. And, of course, I also do my part. I am talking about a lot of kissing, throwing in a massage wouldn’t be bad, but it isn’t necessary.
    Then, of course, there should be some cunnilingus – I’ll return the favour.

    Then we go into good lovemaking – with a variation in the tempo. And my man should tell me all those good things a woman wants to hear: how beautiful I am and all those sweet nothings. It should be nice and slow; I’m not a quickie girl.

    Natasha, 27

  • More, more, and even more

    Quantity. I’m a man and what can I say: I think about sex a lot and I need it often. I’m down for a quickie, passionate lovemaking, and good old rough sex. Just give it to me.

    Michael, 30

  • I want it all

    I want a combination of both quality and quantity. I have had sex just for the heck of it and I actually regretted it. It was meaningless. I don’t want to let someone in my cookie jar just for the sake of it.

    I’ve realised sex for a woman is not the same as it is for men.

    Yes, I know, you’re like ‘Of course, are you just realising this now?’ Yes, it took me a while to realise it, but hey – better late than never. For a man, all he needs is that release and sensation. For a woman, and me specifically, I need to feel wanted. Part of what will get me to have an orgasm is knowing the man I’m with is genuinely into me.
    Then, of course, I do like to have sex regularly.

    Magdalene, 33

  • No time for quality

    Sex, to me, is part of marriage. So I’m a bit ashamed to say this, but at this time in my life, it’s about quantity.
    We have two children and we literally have no time for romance between working long-hour jobs and taking care of our children. The little time we do have is for fulfilling our marital conjugal obligations. Sad, but true. I know men need sex and if they don’t get it from you, they are very likely to go out and get it, so I make sure I do my man regularly – even if it’s just for 10 minutes each time.

    Rose, 36

  • I want an enthusiastic partner

    Both quality and quantity matter to me. I’ve been with women who were not in the mood to have sex but just did it anyway to shut me up. I didn’t like it because they were just lying on the bed waiting for me to be done. That’s not what sex is about – whether it is a short or long session, both partners have to participate.

    I don’t want to feel like I’m having sex with a log.

    That being said, I don’t advocate for long dry spells. Sex is important to a man, so it has to be available often.

    Tony, 37

    Related: Getting Around Bad Sex


    How about you? Do you want lots of sex, or good-quality sex less often? Or a little bit of both? Tell us in the comment section below or on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (24)

  1. This is a really nice…
    This is a really nice article. Love Matters you have done it again. I just learnt where I am now I need both quality and quantity in that order. Love this one.

    1. Thank you for the feedback,…

      Thank you for the feedback, we are glad you found this useful.

  2. For really I don’t mind how…
    For really I don’t mind how it is so long as I get it at that moment when am off for it

    1. Thank you for sharing…

      Thank you for sharing Rodgers.

    1. Thank you for sharing Philip…

      Thank you for sharing Philip. 

    1. You are welcome David. 

      You are welcome David. 

    2. Always pleased to help,…

      Always pleased to help, David! 

  3. I prefer quality

    To me sex…
    I prefer quality

    To me sex is not about how many times you do it but what satisfaction do you get. I want to feel loved, appreciated and admired for all that I have. It is where two people who are in love get to connect and feel the other in a more deeper way. So quality of sex matters more to me than quantity.

  4. To me my main priority is to…
    To me my main priority is to satisfy my patner it all depends with the mood time and attitude of the patner

    1. Thank you for sharing Peter. 

      Thank you for sharing Peter. 

  5. Presentaion and quality
    Presentaion and quality

    1. Thank you Aneke for your…

      Thank you Aneke for your contribution. 

  6. Am out for gud quality sex,,…
    Am out for gud quality sex,,,not juz a quickie lyk a passerby.. So I better wait for the quality tym wen my man is really ready for it and I too..Its very enjoyable wen u both need it and are ready for it and the foreplay part of it must be thea for long.

  7. Hi Bonnie, thank you for…

    Hi Bonnie, thank you for sharing and yes, that is a great strategy to get more out of your sexual experience! All the best and happy love making!

  8. Thank you for sharing Joy!

    Thank you for sharing Joy!

  9. Hi Amos, what about quality…

    Hi Amos, what about quality sex would you like to know?

  10. Soo educative, now it’s…
    Soo educative, now it’s about that time couples learn where they are n how quality wise or quantity wise.. thanx for the goooood info

    1. Hi Abel. Glad you liked it…

      Hi Abel. Glad you liked it. Indeed, couples need to learn about quality vs. quantity and make decisions about what’s works for them. 

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