Young couple cuddling each other in bed

How good are you in bed?

By David Joshua Jennings December 20, 06:00 am
Do you want to know how you score in between the sheets? Take the Love Matters quiz and find out how you measure up!

Foreplay is a must for me

If foreplay is a crucial ingredient in your love life, chances are you’ve got a happy partner. Those who don’t warm up are missing out.
If you are into foreplay, add 1 point.

I have afterplay

Having sex doesn’t end with the orgasm. Being great in bed means you give care and attention to your partner after the main event has come to an end.
If you agree to afterplay, give yourself 1 point.

I like action straight away

Speed may be impressive when it comes to racehorses but it’s disappointing between the sheets. Those who take lots of time to have sex are better lovers.
If you tend to rush, subtract 1.

I like getting my entire body involved

If you are good in bed, you know there is more to erogenous zones than just the genitals. Do you know how to use your hands, lips, mouth, nipples, breasts, and other body parts to drive your partner wild?
If you do, add 1 point.

I want to make my partner feel sexy

Making love isn't as exciting if you don’t feel sexy while doing it. Being comfortable and feeling attractive not only makes them at ease, and it also excites them, making them wild and free in the sack.
If that's what you believe in, add 1 point.

I believe in good communication

Communication should always go two ways. It's key to talk to your lover about what you excites you sexually. Being open about your likes and dislikes, and finding to your partner's, as well as each other’s fantasies, are fast and easy ways to improve your sex life.
If you agree and practice what you preach, add 1 point.

I struggle to be supportive

Lovers should feel at ease when it comes to talking about things they might want to try in bed. Revealing fantasies can make your partner feel exposed and really vulnerable. Making them feel uneasy about it will not only kill the mood but also harm their trust in you. Even if their desires aren’t your thing, don’t make them feel uncomfortable about revealing them.
If you have trouble being supportive at all times, subtract 1.

I enjoy both giving and receiving

If sex is just about you, then you’re a bad lover, period. But if you enjoy giving pleasure to your partner, they will surely be coming back for more. Is this the way you are?
Give yourself 1 point and a pat on the back.

I feel confident

When it comes to sex, confidence is a major turn-on.
If that’s a yes for you, add 1 point.

I don’t like to show vulnerability

Sex makes us vulnerable. Our bodies exposed, but we also have to open up our souls and hidden desires. If you are afraid to show vulnerability, it may be because you are afraid of losing power and control. It may take time and plenty of love, but those who aren't afraid to show their vulnerable side make the best lovers.
If you are not yet comfortable with opening up fully, subtract 1 point.

I give back

If your own climax is your only goal, you’re a lousy lover. Sex is about giving as much as it is about receiving. Always be sure to return the favour. If this is what you believe in, add 1 point.

Sex toys scare me

Sex toys can make the sexual experience more exciting for some.
If you feel threatened if your lover likes a little extra stimulation from a vibrator, subtract 1 point.

I ensure my partner is confident about their body

If your partner doesn’t feel comfortable with their body, they’re not going to be at ease with you seeing or touching it. Not only will you get less sex, but it won’t be nearly as good as it could be. Compliments can go a long way, but keep in mind that a single negative comment can make someone feel self-conscious for a lifetime.
If you are liberal with your compliments, add 1 point.

I know what 'No' means

Sex isn’t everything, and you shouldn’t pressure your partner into making love if they are not up for it. Coercion, whether it’s physical or mental, is degrading and really bad for your relationship. You need to show respect for your partner's choices at all times.
Add 1 point if you do, subtract 1 if you don’t.

I know my lover’s likes and dislikes

Everyone has certain like and dislike during sex, and what drove your former lover wild may do nothing for your current partner, and vice versa. Communicate, and get to know what your partner likes.
If you do that will every new partner, add 1 point.

I often skip the romance

Making love isn’t just about pushing erogenous buttons and rushing to penetration. The best sex will often be the climax of a full evening of romance. A full day, even! If you miss out on time spent outside the bedroom, chances are your sex life will suffer because of it.
If you are the hurried kind of lover, subtract 1 point.

I get all my moves from porn

While it can be exciting and give you new ideas, porn shouldn't define what your love life looks like. You shouldn't worry if you are good enough based on images you got from porn. Good sex is about what's happening in your own bedroom, not by some pornographic images.
If you are comparing your sex life to porn, subtract 1 point.

I am often distracted during sex

A sign of good sex is being fully present and enjoying the moment. Leave your phone off and your worries out of mind. The bed is no place for outside interruptions. Do you think about your grocery list while making love?
Subtract 1 point.

I like to be playful

Sex is not only about love, but it’s also relaxing – a time to enjoy each other’s bodies and have fun. If you want to be good in bed, be playful!
If that's what you are and you are known to have a good laugh in bed, add 1 point.


  • 12 = Stellar, you’ve got it all worked out.
  • 8 – 11 = Good, keep up the loving!
  • 3 – 7 = There’s room for improvement.
  • 3 or below = You gotta work hard. Start your journey to becoming a better lover. 

So, what’s your score? Leave a comment below or via Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Africa. If you need tips and tricks, get in touch with our discussion board: our moderators will help!

Did you learn something new?


Hello Moses. sorry to say, we are not a dating service and cannot assist you in finding a partner but do not despair, here is a guide to how to meet people online:

I hv that high sex. Libido. I have spent 3month with out having sex. And I have a boyfriend but we don't stay together he works at fear district. For real I miss him and don't want to cheat on just in that mood of having sex. plis. Advise me thanks
Hi Hawa, There is nothing wrong with having sexual urges that's perfectly normal. If you do not mind musterbation you could try it to help you deal with the urge. Otherwise you just have to stay occupied and try not to think about sex too much.
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