Blow jobs: do's and don'ts
Alan Poulson Photography

Top tips for the best blowjob

By David Joshua Jennings May 8, 03:25 pm
Blowjobs aren’t for everyone, but for many it’s an important ingredient of a hot sex life. But because you can go wrong with them, it’s as helpful knowing what not to do as what to do.
Do
Be clean

Men, it’s important to do some washing up beforehand to make both partners feel comfortable. You can even make this part of the foreplay by taking a shower or bath together.

Be safe 

Just like any other way of having sex, fellatio carries the risk of contracting and spreading STDs, so it’s important to follow some safety measures, especially when doing it with a new partner. A condom should do the trick.

Enjoy yourself 


An essential ingredient of any good blow job is enthusiasm on the part of the one giving it. If one partner isn’t having a good time, it’s likely the other isn’t either. If you don’t want a penis in your mouth, don’t put it there. If you do, then show him that you like what you’re doing. Make eye-contact, tell him how bad you want it, how excited you are to have him in your mouth. Wildness and excitement can be a huge turn on. Kiss it, rub it over your body and face, do whatever it takes to show him that you enjoy giving as much as he likes receiving.

Know his anatomy

There are a few key parts of his genital region you should be aware of, including the frenulum (underside of the head of the penis), the corona (the ridge of the head) and the urethral opening, all of which are extremely sensitive. Giving these areas special attention will leave him begging for more. The perineum (the space between the scrotum and anus) is also highly sensitive and a good way to stimulate his prostate.

Mix it up 

Great fellatio involves more than just licking his penis. Bring your entire mouth into action, including lips, teeth (but only if he asks!) and the ridge and surface of the tongue. And if you decide to go deep, keep your throat as straight as possible and breathe deep through your nose – this should help contain the gag reflex. Try to alternate between licking and sucking.

Use your hands 

While you’ll probably be holding the shaft to keep it stable, he’ll get more stimulated if you stroke it while rolling your tongue around the head while he’s in your mouth, perhaps adding a gentle twist of the wrist for extra pleasure. Or, using your saliva as a sex lubricant, make a tight ring of your thumb and index finger and run it quickly up and down the shaft in unison with your mouth. In the meantime, put that free hand to work by fondling and stroking his balls, or stimulating his perineum or anus.

Tune into his bodily cues, communicate 

A sure-fire way to find out what he likes is by asking him. If he’s too shy to say things directly, pay close attention to the way his body reacts, and play accordingly. If a certain technique doesn’t seem to be giving pleasure, try something else, always asking, 'Do you like that?'

Remember the wetter the better 

The more saliva you use, the more stimulating the experience will be for your man. Keep things as moist as possible, and keep a glass of water nearby for rewetting. To make his penis even more appetising, try experimenting with some whipped cream or chocolate syrup.

Go hard and fast toward the end

When he’s ready to cum, use a combination of quick ring strokes and hard sucking of the tip. The key here is to be hard and fast. His whole body will tense up when he’s about to rip, so either move your face out of the way or be prepared to receive his semen in your mouth. Keep stroking with your hand until he’s done ejaculating, then lay off. It’s rare to find a man who likes his penis played with immediately following an orgasm. 

Don't
Do it if you don’t feel like it

Just once again, if there’s anything about going down on him that makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it. You could communicate your discomfort to your partner and if they really like you, they would wait for you to be ready.

Bite 

Teeth on the penis can be painful, so be sure to make sure your they are covered by your lips!

Be impatient 

When you’re giving a blowjob, relax and be patient. It will make him uncomfortable if you act like this is something you’re trying to finish as soon as possible.

Be too predictable 

Fellatio is great; it’s even better when it’s unpredictable. Keep in mind that foreplay prior to sex isn’t the only time for a blowjob. Accost him when he least expects it, and surprise him with a treat. It’s super-arousing and should inspire him to return the favor. Alternatively, announce suddenly, while in the middle of work or at a party, that you can’t wait to get home to give him a blowjob. This is guaranteed to ensure he will think of almost nothing else for the next few hours. Once in the act, mix thing up by trying new positions. Try the ‘69’ position, where you can pleasure each other simultaneously. Experiment!

Be shy

Chances are, the wilder you get the more turned on he will be. Act out your fantasies. Slap his penis lightly against your mouth or the side of your face, put an ice cube in your mouth and suck on him while you hum or moan. A few minutes of such wild play will put him under your spell.

Show disappointment 

Men are super sensitive when it comes to their sexual performance. Even if he doesn’t measure up to your expectation, if you love him you should never belittle him for not ejaculating as fast or as slow as you would like.

Forget every man is different 

Every man’s penis varies in length, width, presence or lack of foreskin, etc. Furthermore, every man is different when it comes to what he likes and dislikes. Don’t expect what worked with a previous partner to work on a new partner in the same way. The best advice is to ask him to tell you or show you how he likes it.

Be afraid to ask for feedback 

Communication will only make your sex life better. Be sure to ask if there's anything you could improve on, of if there is anything else he wants or wants more of.

 

Would you like to share your tips and experiences? Please leave a comment below or start a discussion on Facebook.   

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Chloe F
Fri, 05/15/2015 - 06:31 pm
Thanks for posting your tips! Confidence in yourself is the most important aspect. If you're doing it right, you'll both feel great, but only if you allow yourself to enjoy it. If you're not confident in what you're doing, you can read a book called Jack's Blowjob Lessons. That's what I did. Yeah, I know, it sounds strange, but I wasn't secure enough to ask my boyfriend. That's certainly changed now.
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