couple in sexual foreplay together in their underwear
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Foreplay: do’s and don’ts

Foreplay: the delicious lovemaking you do before you move on to intercourse. For some, it’s just a starter for the real deal.

​​​​​For others, it’s just as orgasmic as the real deal.
Foreplay is especially important for women to get their vaginas wet, slippery, and ready for sex.

  • Know the hotspots

    Don’t focus on the penis and the vagina only. Every person has different hotspots. And stroking, kissing, nibbling or licking those hotspots feels amazing and is a real turn on. Try nipples, the neck, ears, back, and buttocks. But everyone is different, so be creative when you explore your partner’s body. Maybe your partner likes having the armpits stroked or feet played with.

    And keep exploring – don’t rely on the trusted hotspots. Surprise your partner by going to unexpected places. Now that’s a turn on!

    Check out all the hotspots: explore her body and explore his body.

  • Mix it up!

    Nothing is more boring than doing the same routine every time. Deep kiss, hand on breast, some stroking of the penis, and that’s it. Instead, be creative! Try different things! Tease your partner with your touch, your lips, your mouth. You can even use some props, like feathers or gloves. Use some lube for new sensation. Keep an eye at your partner’s body language to find out if they like what you are doing. If they do: keep going. If they don’t: try something different.

    The key is not to make it boring and predictable. Keep surprising your partner, that’s the key to amazing foreplay and great sex!

  • Spoil each other

    Nothing feels nicer than to be spoiled by your partner. So take the time to do that. Cuddle, kiss and stroke without demanding anything in return. Get the massage oil out and give your partner a nice and relaxing shoulder rub. Sensual touch feels great and may get your partner in the mood, even if they weren’t up to sex a few minutes ago.

    But don’t let your expectations get the better of you – sometimes, a nice cuddling session is just that, and won’t lead to sex. Don’t sulk, but instead look forward to next time!

  • Rush

    Foreplay is especially important for women. Once men have an erection, they are pretty much ready to go. Women, on the other hand, need some time to get in the mood, both emotionally and physically. Their vaginas need to get wet so that it won’t hurt when the penis slips inside. So rushing it is not a good idea if both of you want enjoyable, pain and cringe-free sex!

    What’s more, many women don’t regularly have an orgasm during intercourse, which maybe means foreplay time is orgasm time! Especially if you have the kind of partner who tends to roll over and snore after his own climax rather than taking the time to pleasure you.

    Having said all this, sometimes rushing can be great! Skipping the foreplay and having a ‘quickie’ can be a real turn-on for both partners.

  • Overdo it

    OK, so foreplay is pleasurable, great and important. Does that mean you should keep going, and going, and going as long as you can? Well not if you want to have intercourse too. Which isn’t compulsory, we might add!

    But especially if the man has some trouble with coming sooner than he’d like, having steamy foreplay for a long time could mean that he will ejaculate before you move on to intercourse, or come straight away when you do. Or on the other hand he could try to hold back but ejaculate just a little bit and then have trouble climaxing ‘properly’ later on.

    There is no perfect amount of time for foreplay; everyone is different, and some days, you may feel like more foreplay than on other days.

  • Think that foreplay only happens in bed

    Foreplay doesn’t have to begin only once the two of you are horizontal. Foreplay can start much earlier. It can start with a deep, longing look into each other’s eyes, with a not-so-accidental touch or with a demanding kiss. Even flirting and teasing with words can be part of foreplay. And we don’t just mean dirty talk. Letting someone know you are attracted to them and would like to make love to them can be very sexy and a huge turn on.

    But just as with physical foreplay, watch your partner’s reactions. If what you are doing and saying makes them uncomfortable, stop! And if they like it, keep going… and enjoy the foreplay!

     

    Foreplay. What works for you? Leave a comment or join the discussion on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (73)

  1. Thanks for this information,
    Thanks for this information, keep them coming.

    1. Thanks Sharon, we will!
      Thanks Sharon, we will!

    1. Thanks for your comment, Akoo
      Thanks for your comment, Akoo!

  2. Thanks for enlightening me
    Thanks for enlightening me

    1. You are most welcome, Milly!
      You are most welcome, Milly!

        1. Hello Helly, thank you so…

          Hello Helly, thank you so much for your feedback.

  3. what are the effects of using
    what are the effects of using too much stimulation drugs?

    1. Hi Amos,

      Hi Amos,
      what kind of drugs are you talking about, exactly?

  4. thenks 4 da teachings coz
    thenks 4 da teachings coz they r helping me to raise a healthy sexy lyf,keep it up!

    1. Foreplay, or our article :-)?
      Foreplay, or our article :-)?

  5. this is great man i like the
    this is great man i like the teaching on foreplay

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Oscar.

  6. what are the effects of using
    what are the effects of using
    too much stimulation drugs? Like vega 100?

    1. Hi Davic,

      Hi Davic,
      we are not familiar with vega100, but you shouldn’t use any stimulating drugs at all. Why do you feel the need to use them?

  7. I love it much. Then how can
    I love it much. Then how can l mek my guy erect & how can l show him that am not yet satisfied?

    1. Trizah,

      Trizah,
      You can make him erect using your hands. Stroke his body slowly, find out where erogenous zones are, and finally move towards the penis. Be firm with your movements. You can also use your mouth.
      As for showing him you are not yet satisfied, tell him and guide him.
      Most men don’t realize that many women don’t orgasm from intercourse alone, that they need their clitoris stimulated.

  8. I never knew there is set
    I never knew there is set time for foreplay but this is an eye opener ,thanks for the information

    1. There isn’t really, it all
      There isn’t really, it all depends on how much time you and your partner need!

  9. Does size of penis a factor
    Does size of penis a factor affecting pregnancy?

    1. Lomukz,

      Lomukz,
      penis size never matters, and it certainly doesn’t matter for pregnancy.

  10. am learning eachday thank you
    am learning eachday thank you

  11. I found sex being painful
    I found sex being painful without fore play.

    1. That’s normal, Feyisara,
      That’s normal, Feyisara, because foreplay makes women wet and expands their vagina. And dry sex is painful.

  12. Is it good to kiss her behind
    Is it good to kiss her behind?.

    1. If you enjoy it (and she does
      If you enjoy it (and she does), that’s fine!

  13. I Like This Conversation,It
    I Like This Conversation,It Keeps Me Moving

  14. Do women reach orgasm through
    Do women reach orgasm through anal sex

  15. I always experience pain
    I always experience pain after 2nd round I can’t do it more than that though I enjoy it in the 1st round

    1. The 1st round is always sweet
      The 1st round is always sweet buh short so uu should ñot always run into doing sex..

      1. Thanks for sharing Dantez
        Thanks for sharing Dantez

    2. Hi Mercie, it could be
      Hi Mercie, it could be because you lack enough lubrication during the second round. You could try using a lubricant and see how it works out.

  16. how long does t for a man to
    how long does t for a man to erect again after having a round??

    1. Hi Mikel, it depends from one
      Hi Mikel, it depends from one man to the other.

  17. Thanks for the lessons.Some
    Thanks for the lessons.Some tips to lust longer during intercourse so that can ogasim together at same time.

  18. Hi so sweet to read this
    Hi so sweet to read this article thanks a lot. How I know my girl is OK with foreplay and love making since is always quite during foreplay?

    1. Glad that you liked it.
      Glad that you liked it.

  19. i love this site, it helps me
    i love this site, it helps me improve in my relationship without stress.

    1. We are glad you Love it
      We are glad you Love it Fortune. Thank you.

  20. i owe u guyz alot because u
    i owe u guyz alot because u make me feel cormfotable when it comes to bedroom matters,Thanks

    1. You are most welcome Jack.
      You are most welcome Jack.

  21. My girl’s greatest moment is
    My girl’s greatest moment is when she is “receiving head” from me. I think she is getting too fond of that.

  22. Wts the best sex position to…
    Wts the best sex position to bring orgasim in a lady

  23. What if he wants to get …
    What if he wants to get into intercourse too fast many times I am not ready for it…

    1. Hey there, talking about sex…

      Hey there, talking about sex makes the experience better for both partners. If you don’t feel ready for intercourse let your partner know. Find a good time to talk about this, let him know what you like as he also shares what he likes. This way you can agree on what works better for both of you. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

  24. sometimes my partner cums…
    sometimes my partner cums during foreplay why?

    1. Hi, it means that your…

      Hi, it means that your partner gets sexually excited too soon during foreplay. This is known as Premature Ejaculation, which is caused by a number of reasons including fear, anxiety or even stress. Anxiety that one will not perform can make him ejaculate much earlier or stress from home or work. In other cases, particularly in young men it could be the result of sexual inexperience, and so as the young man gets older he also gains more experience in controlling ejaculation. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

    1. Thank you for sharing Philip…

      Thank you for sharing Philip,  foreplay is key in ensuring foreplay is pleasurable for both partners. 

    1. Hi Moni,

      He does not…

      Hi Moni,

      He does not masturbate at all? It could be dry orgasms. This is when a man achieves orgasm but does not ejaculate. Some common causes of dry orgasms include genetic abnormalities, repeated erections, and certain surgeries. Advise your husband to go to the hospital and so that the doctor can determine where the problem is. 

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