• Making Love

Do you follow the 90-day rule?

By Christine on

There’s this bald man with a thick Moustache called Steve Harvey. If you don’t know him, don’t stress over it, this is not about him, or his thick Moustache, it’s about something interesting he said.

Steve Harvey wrote a book called ‘Act Like Lady, Think Like a Man.’ In this book, he talks about many things and one of the most memorable is the 90-day rule.

The 90-day rule suggests that when people start dating, they should wait three months before having sex. Both men and women can use this rule, but of course, women are the ones paying more attention to this. Steve Harvey is addressing women in the book.

According to Steve Harvey, 90 days gives women enough time to get to know a man before fully committing. He says that there is a reason companies give new employees 3-month probation; they want to know if you are a suitable candidate for the job. Well, not sure if that’s a great comparison but you get the point.  

As you can imagine, this rule has its staunch supporters and strong critics. Where do you stand?

In these days of Tinder and casual hookups, many people find this rule ridiculous. We are living at a time when people move quite fast. We meet and in the next few minutes, we are tearing each other’s clothes and biting each other. When was the last time you were bitten?

Should you follow the 90-day rule?

Do you want to? Why? Why not? What I’m trying to say is that the decision is all yours.  

The most important thing is that you stay true to your values and go with what makes you happy. Or floats your boat. Or helps you sleep like a baby.

In most cases, what you want from the relationship should guide you when and whether to sleeping with someone. For instance, if your goal is to just have a good time with no strings attached, waiting may not be necessary. Get it on honey!

On the other hand, some experts suggest that if you’d like to be in a committed, long-term relationship with someone, it is great to get to know someone first. Know whether their values agree with yours. Whether you do this in 15 seconds, 3 days, two months, or a year is up to you.

This does not necessarily mean waiting for 90 days, do some research on your partner to ensure that you know who they are before laying with them.

The goal is to be in control of your body and emotions. Always remember that the decision to sleep with someone now or to wait a little longer lies with you.

They won’t stay just because…

Let’s be honest though, waiting will not change someone whose goal is to add a name to their body count list. You can wait for a year to sleep with someone in the name of getting to know them but this won’t change the fact that they are the wrong partner for you.

Yet the sad part is that some people, especially women, may fear following the 90-day rule for fear that their partner will find someone else.

In the end, as long as you’re two consenting adults who want to tear each other’s clothes three seconds after meeting, they can go ahead! If you want to wait two weeks, 90 days, months, a year, you might as well go ahead. It’s all about what works for you.

Do you apply the 90-day rule? Do you think waiting is a waste of time