chart of vegetables for pleasure
Shuttersotck

Big penis and sex: do’s and don’ts

A big penis can be uncomfortable or even painful during intercourse. Consider our tips if size is getting in the way of your pleasure.

  • Use lubricants and foreplay

    Not being aroused and wet enough is the most common cause for pain during sex in women. And when a larger-than-average penis is involved, it can become so bad that the pleasure is lost. So if you are aware that you have a big penis, there are a few things you can do to avoid discomfort to your partner. Make sure your partner is wet and aroused – that will make penetration a lot easier. You can even use extra lubrication. Also, make sure she is relaxed. If she is afraid of the pain that may come, she will tighten her muscles in anticipation, which will make sex even more difficult and painful. An orgasm during foreplay can help to relax her, as can breathing out when you try to enter the vagina.

  • Know what’s causing the pain

    It’s important to know what is causing the discomfort or pain. Is it the head of the penis hitting the cervix, or is it on first trying to enter the vagina? The solution to the problem will depend on where the problem is. For example, if the penis hitting the cervix is the problem, positions with shallow penetration could be the answer. It could also be that your partner isn’t aroused enough yet. The vagina gets longer and expands with arousal. If entering the vagina is the problem, make sure you follow the instructions on lubrication and arousal and start by inserting a finger or two to loosen the muscles a bit.

  • Experiment

    Once you have taken care of the arousal and lubrication, you should start experimenting. What hurts and what feels good? Try different sex positions. For example, the woman on top can work well, because she is the one in charge of the depth of penetration. Also, keep in mind that not the entire penis has to go in the vagina. The tip of the penis has the most nerve endings, the base is far less important (and can even get stimulated by other things, like hands or vibrators). And keep experimenting. The vagina can get looser and adjust to a bigger penis with time, so don’t give up too early. Just make sure you don’t hurt your partner. If nothing has worked for the two of you, it might be best to discuss this with your doctor together.

  • Know the circumstances

    Sometimes, there are other factors that can cause the pain. They can be psychological, like a previous bad experience with sex. Or even abuse and rape. They can also be physical. Has your partner undergone female genital mutilation, for example? Or did she recently have a child? These may not be directly related to a large penis, but they could still be a reason why you have problems having pleasurable sex.

  • Use force

    No matter what the cause of the problem is, never use force! Force will cause more pain, and, even worse, it will make your partner fear sex, which will lead to a vicious circle: the more force you use, the more afraid of pain she will be the next time, which means you will need more force, causing more pain. As a general rule, if you feel resistance, stop, withdraw, let her relax and ask if you should try again. Be very, very gentle and patient. And if it doesn’t work, try doing something else, like oral sex, or mutual masturbation and try again another time.

  • Shy away from feedback during sex

    It’s important to keep checking in with your partner while having sex. You need to be able to communicate. Often, a few words like ‘slower’, ‘stop’, ‘this is fine’ are enough. It’s important to listen to each other. If you don’t do what she wants, she might lose trust. It is important to talk to your partner about the issue. The more open the two of you can be, and the safer your partner feels with you, the better.

  • Be too scared

    Even if it feels like your penis is way too big for your partner’s vagina, remember that the vagina is a wonderful organ that can adapt and change. Just think about it: even a baby can pass through it, so as long as you take all the precautions as mentioned above and keep gently trying, you should be able to have pleasurable sex.

     

    Have you ever experienced discomfort or pain while having sex? Are there any other tips you can suggest? Talk to us on our discussion forum or send us a message via Facebook.

Tell us what you think

Recent Comments (80)

      1. Some women are…
        Some women are uncontributive during sex. They just remain lifeless as if they are death why?

        1. Because they are tired of it
          Because they are tired of it

          1. Hi Meymuna, thank you for…

            Hi Meymuna, thank you for your input. Why do you feel this way?

  1. Some Women Are Cold And You
    Some Women Are Cold And You Cant Feel Pleasure,how Can She Over Come That

    1. What do you mean when you say
      What do you mean when you say some women are cold?

    2. What do you mean when you say
      What do you mean when you say some women are cold?

  2. Some Ladies prefers big penis
    Some Ladies prefers big penis so as to fulfill their sexull arousing

  3. Have learn more from you guys
    Have learn more from you guys……a’ll try this teaching of you guys!!!

    1. Thanks Alex. Tell us how it
      Thanks Alex. Tell us how it goes.

  4. wat sud i do to enlarger my
    wat sud i do to enlarger my penis

  5. Z Mustarbating Every Night
    Z Mustarbating Every Night Healty /not Coz Am Addicted Wiz T

  6. its the art that matters most
    its the art that matters most. anf the way you handle the satisfaction. size aint no big deal.

    1. Thanks for your input.
      Thanks for your input.

  7. Thnx for ur tips i’ll try thm
    Thnx for ur tips i’ll try thm .

    1. You are welcome Kim’ tell us
      You are welcome Kim’ tell us how it goes.

  8. Is it safe to have sex while
    Is it safe to have sex while on menstruating period?

      1. Bt I Heard Having Sex While
        Bt I Heard Having Sex While On Your Menstruation Can Make Your Partner’s Dick Swell… Is It Right?

  9. SOME WOMEN GET TOO WET AND U
    SOME WOMEN GET TOO WET AND U ONLY GO THROUGH. ADVICE

    1. What do you mean by saying
      What do you mean by saying you only go through?

  10. my wife loves the size of mai
    my wife loves the size of mai penis n she always appreciate me during sex

    1. That’s great to hear Decocks.
      That’s great to hear Decocks. Good for you .

  11. Some organs in women are big,
    Some organs in women are big, so they need big pennis to satisfy their feelings

    1. You are right BB just like
      You are right BB just like the penis the vagina varies in size.

    1. You are welcome Calvados.
      You are welcome Calvados.

  12. My gal friend don’t get
    My gal friend don’t get arousal easily plz what can i do to overcome this issue.

  13. big penis get more tired to
    big penis get more tired to work and takes more time to be aroused after one short! I prefer small ones lol

    1. Hi Suzy, what do you base
      Hi Suzy, what do you base your conclusion on?

  14. Thanks alot for the teaching.
    Thanks alot for the teaching.

    1. You are most welcome Cruz.
      You are most welcome Cruz.

  15. my pussy is ever I thight I
    my pussy is ever I thight I do feel pain whenever I play sex

  16. Same ladies have big holes,
    Same ladies have big holes,

    1. Hi Wickl, just like penis
      Hi Wickl, just like penis sizes are different, the vagina sizes also vary.

  17. some women leave men
    some women leave men simply because of size of panis (small)

    1. You are right but most of the
      You are right but most of the time the size of the penis is not the issue.

  18. what should be the length of
    what should be the length of penis now and how will I know my partner is satisfied with me?

  19. I feel the pussy to be more
    I feel the pussy to be more watery as I pump, that makes me loose my sex feelling. I experienxed this with a Giriama lady. what brings about this?

    1. Hi Jay women tend to become
      Hi Jay women tend to become wetter as they become more aroused. This happens to men to. During sex the man also produces semen which is referred to as precome. Lubrication is good during sex as it reduces friction and possibility of carousing pain. If you feel your partner is too wet you could always suggest you wipe off some of it.

      1. how can one wipe the excess
        how can one wipe the excess fluid…..

  20. I have the same problem…..
    I have the same problem….. thanks for the information….

    1. You are welcome Kenzy.
      You are welcome Kenzy.

    1. Hi there, just like any other
      Hi there, just like any other fear its irational and cannot be explained.

  21. I usually feels lots of pain.
    I usually feels lots of pain…am ain’t sure if its the size of his dic or something else

  22. Is Sex 4 The First Time
    Is Sex 4 The First Time Pienful

    1. What kind of power problems
      What kind of power problems are you referring to?

  23. Even The Women With Tight
    Even The Women With Tight Vagina Cause Them Feel Pain During Sex

    1. Thanks for the input.
      Thanks for the input.

  24. My hubby use force wen he,s
    My hubby use force wen he,s about to finish n its So painful wat can we do?

  25. when my partner finish…
    when my partner finish having sex with me the next day my lower abdomen will hurt and then i also urinate frequently like I dont have bladder control. And he just broke me. pls I’m scared wats the problem.

    1. Hey Lafites, this is…

      Hey Lafites, this is something that happens some of the time especially when there has been deep penetration during sex. It may also be caused by a lack of lubrication during sex which leads to the pain later and also the presence of an infection. Lastly, other reasons maybe psychological including stress or anxiety during sex. If the lower abdominal pain is combined with frequent urination including pain when urinating, this could be a sign of an infection. If this persists, it is important you seek the services of a health provider for a check up and treatment. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-women

  26. If i had a man and his dick…
    If i had a man and his dick was really big and long, how will the whole thin fit inside of me?

    1. Hi Zaayanna, thank you for…

      Hi Zaayanna, thank you for reaching out to us. No, it does not all have to fit inside you. If you use some of the tips given in this article like extensive foreplay and using lubricant, sex could become more comfortable and much more pleasurable for both of you.

  27. Always pleased to help…

    Always pleased to help Beatrice. Feel free to go through more of our content to help you make more informed decisions and do not hesitate to get in touch with us in case you have any questions. Have a wonderful week and stay safe!

  28. is a small penis not good in…
    is a small penis not good in bed

    1. Hi Abdul, when it comes to…

      Hi Abdul, when it comes to penis size it really comes down to preference and expertise. Some women prefer smaller sized penises. On the other hand, it is important to understand your penis size, and what positions allow you to provide maximum pleasure.

    1. Hi Anonymous, if you go to…

      Hi Anonymous, if you go to any pharmacy and ask for a lubricant they will give you a range to choose from. They are all basically the same, it is just that some have added ingredients for added pleasure.

  29. My partner has a big penis I…
    My partner has a big penis I feel pain and discomfort when have sex, I have started avoiding him now

    1. Hello Sara, thank you for…

      Hello Sara, thank you for your input. So sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time to the point it is affecting your relationship. Have your tried using positions that restrict access like spooning? Also when you are on top you have control over how deep he can go.

LOVE MATTERS

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships