Man and woman in bed

How soon can I have sex with a new partner?

Is two weeks too early to have sex with a new partner?

Two weeks?! Some people walk around ready!

Anytime is sex o’clock. They don’t waste erections or wetness. That’s too much of a loss. 

Don’t act shocked, you may have never had sex with a new partner that soon but you may have considered it. That counts too! 

So, how soon?

Many people believe that if you want a long-term relationship, you should delay sex until you are both committed to each other.

Some people believe that you should have sex as soon as possible to find out if you have sexual chemistry. As soon as possible could be anything; two hours? two weeks? three months? Whatever ‘as soon as possible’ means to you. 

Others don’t waste time though, ‘as soon as possible’ could be 15 minutes; to them this is is sufficient time to have known whether you want to have sex with someone or not. To them, this is enough time to know enough about a person and, therefore, good timing for sex. 

To some, you can have sex on the third date. Whether the third date takes place within a week, two weeks, a months, several months, or a year, the deal can be sealed in the bedroom. 

Some psychologists believe that you should wait until the honeymoon phase is over. The honeymoon phase is when feelings of attraction are so strong and it seems as if the person you’re with is perfect. You may not have even noticed (or don’t mind) that they chew loudly or that they don’t flash the toilet. Jokes aside, the reasoning is that during this phase, you are not likely to make wise decisions about your sex life. 

Still, there are those who believe that you should only have sex after marriage. This means that you abstain until the wedding night. 

Clearly, there’s no right or wrong answer. Your penis, vagina, or anus belongs to you and you can do whatever you want when you want. 

Plus, this is such a personal question and it depends on what you want out of the relationship.

My point in giving you all these examples is that your timing depends with simply what works for you and your current sexual agenda.

Be safe

Do it responsibly though. STDs and STIs are never on holiday. You can get it anytime. 

There are some conversations you should have with new partners before having sex with them. 

Don’t be afraid to ask these questions:

  • Have they been tested for STIs recently?
  • Do you have an incurable STI like herpes, HPV, or genital warts?
  • Are you both going to be faithful to each other?
  • Will you both be using condoms at all times?
  • Are you willing to get tested and share your results?

To get tested for STDs and STIs visit your nearest Marie Stopes clinic. You can find the nearest clinic here

All the best in deciding what timing works for you! 

What too soon for you? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Love Matters Kenya Facebook

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Recent Comments (34)

        1. Welcome to Love Matters…

          Welcome to Love Matters Africa.

        1. How can we help you buddy?

          How can we help you buddy?

        1. Hi Elias, we are so glad…

          Hi Elias, we are so glad. Please feel free to go through more of our content and let us know what you think and feel free to ask us any questions regarding Love, Sex, and Relationships and we will gladly assist! Have a wonderful weekend ahead and stay safe!

          1. Hello Mwai, thank you for…

            Hello Mwai, thank you for your input.

    1. You are welcome Godfy.

      You are welcome Godfy.

    1. We appreciate your feedback…

      We appreciate your feedback Kipnipher.

    1. Hey Millicent, thank you for…

      Hey Millicent, thank you for the feedback.

    1. Sema Dennoh, kuna noma ama…

      Sema Dennoh, kuna noma ama unatupea tu props?

    1. Hi Liz, thank you for your…

      Hi Liz, thank you for your input. We appreciate it.

    1. Hi Stasia, 

      Absolutely! As…

      Hi Stasia, 

      Absolutely! As long as you are ready and comfortable, then go for it!

  1. Two weeks or less isn’t bad…
    Two weeks or less isn’t bad but what matters is the trust and confidence she has for you that will arose her feelings to have sex with you.

    1. Hi Emmanuel, 

      Thank you for…

      Hi Emmanuel, 

      Thank you for your input. If that works for you then go for it! As we said the timing depends with simply what works for you and your current sexual agenda. 

  2. It has been so hard for me…
    It has been so hard for me to have sex for the first time because some girls are in but I feel it’s disrespecting someone, how better can I do it,many think that am boring for the first time

  3. How soon you are going to…
    How soon you are going to engage yourself in such matters doesn’t matter, it depends on what both of you want to achieve.

    1. Hi Luckyboy, 


      Hi Luckyboy, 

      Absolutely! It depends on what both of you want. 

  4. And it doesn’t necessarily…
    And it doesn’t necessarily that you have sex just soon what really matters most is ,is you and your partner do understand one another and having that respect and thrust

    1. Hi Elvis, 

      I totally agree!…

      Hi Elvis, 

      I totally agree! It’s all about both of you want. Whenever you are ready, feel free to get it on!

  5. From experience you can have…
    From experience you can have sex on the first day it depends with the feelings

    1. Hi Elizabeth, 

      True! It’s…

      Hi Elizabeth, 

      True! It’s all about whether you are ready and what you want from that relationship. 

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