Enjoying sex is good for you - LoveMatters Africa
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Enjoying sex is good for you

Enjoying sex goes hand in hand with a healthy mindset for young adults. And there’s scientific evidence that shows it could be good for you to enjoy sex.

Guys and girls who orgasm more during sex have a higher self-esteem. They’re also probably independent thinkers, making decisions based on what’s right for them and not what others think they should do.

And it’s not just the big orgasm that matters. These positive characteristics are also found in young adults who love giving and getting oral sex, according to a US study of over 3000 18 to 26 year olds.

Sex research so often studies the serious side of things like protecting against STDs and pregnancy. Of course safe sex is important, but so is sexual pleasure! This study was the first to look at whether healthy personality traits like self-esteem have anything to do with enjoying sex.

The more you give, the more you get

They definitely do, the research showed, though it’s not known if that’s because young adults who have these traits in the first place enjoy sex more. Something to keep in mind before you jump into bed to boost your self-esteem.

Empathy is another characteristic that has a lot to do with sexual bliss. People who are empathetic are really able to feel what someone else is going through. So it makes total sense that if you’re empathetic you’ll probably enjoy giving pleasure just as much as you do receiving it. It could work like a kind of positive feedback loop where the more pleasure you give, the more you get.

This is especially true for women, the study found. The reason might be that in some cultures it’s less acceptable and maybe more difficult for women to express sexual desire and pleasure. So when they do enjoy sex, it could work wonders on their self-esteem and sense of independence.

Who enjoys sex more?

But it’s not all good news. Guys enjoy sex more than women do, at least among the teens that were part of this study. Not only do they orgasm far more often than women – something which isn’t exactly news – but they also get more pleasure from giving oral sex than women do.

So what stops many young women from enjoying sex? Though this study didn’t go into details, other research has come up with some ideas. For some women, it could be a question of not being in touch with their sexual side. If they don’t yet know what they enjoy, and what they don’t, it could be difficult to talk about sex with their partner and to guide them.

Though lots more young men say sex is pleasurable, there are definitely times when it’s not. Performance anxiety and worrying about pleasing their partners top the list of reasons that make sex a less than enjoyable experience for a guy, research has found.

Does sex make you feel good about yourself? Leave a comment below or join us on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (75)

  1. Yes,sex is only for married
    Yes,sex is only for married couple,..that is making love…

    1. Hi Nestor,

      Hi Nestor,
      we believe that everybody should make up their minds themselves when it comes to when to have sex. As long as it’s safe, and there is consent from both parties.

  2. Sex is good n by the time i’m
    Sex is good n by the time i’m doing it a realy anjoy but after that naboeka na manzi noma.

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Franklin!

  3. What are some of advantages
    What are some of advantages of oral sex.in box me please

    1. Hi Erick,

      Hi Erick,
      pleasure is the main advantage. And for women, it’s often much easier to orgasm through oral sex than through intercourse.

  4. What are some of advantages
    What are some of advantages of oral sex.in box me please

  5. What are some of advantages
    What are some of advantages of oral sex.in box me please

  6. if i have sex with my partner
    if i have sex with my partner that can drive me to the climates i enjoy it so much that

    1. It is great, isn’t it, Helen?
      It is great, isn’t it, Helen?

  7. Sex is a source of my
    Sex is a source of my hapjness when I do it with soneone I love. Is away of relueving stres

    1. That’s very true, Isaac. Sex
      That’s very true, Isaac. Sex is great against stress.

  8. Hey there.I love musturbating
    Hey there.I love musturbating alot.What are the best tips for musturbation for a lady n how do I show my partner about it.please help

  9. very true, good sex makes one
    very true, good sex makes one rejuvinated and young….

    1. Hi Peter, that’s right!
      Hi Peter, that’s right!

  10. can sex make you weak in your
    can sex make you weak in your body?

    1. That’s great to hear, Irene
      That’s great to hear, Irene

  11. How will i find the G sport
    How will i find the G sport of a woman?

  12. Have neva tried sex,can i
    Have neva tried sex,can i count on who?

    1. Don’t worry, Negrao, you will
      Don’t worry, Negrao, you will, some day!

  13. Whenever l have sex with my
    Whenever l have sex with my partner,l feel great!especialy when l know that am of great importance in somebody’s life.

    1. Hi Bena,

      Hi Bena,
      that’s great! Good for you!

  14. whenever i hav sex wth ma
    whenever i hav sex wth ma patna i fill gud n lavd’…i really enjoy it

  15. I enjoy sex with my boy very
    I enjoy sex with my boy very much,ad i alwayz feel good ad much luved wen he gives me sex!i luv sex very much

  16. sex with my partner is just a
    sex with my partner is just a wonderful experience, good thing is we stay far apart and really get to miss each other.

    1. That’s great to hear, Bravo!
      That’s great to hear, Bravo!

  17. I enjoy sex soo much with ma
    I enjoy sex soo much with ma partner

  18. I enjoy sex soo much with ma
    I enjoy sex soo much with ma partner

    1. That’s great to hear, Mercy,
      That’s great to hear, Mercy, keep it up!

  19. I love sex so much, infact
    I love sex so much, infact when sucking boobs and being sucked too.

  20. Pls…I’m 21yrs nd ma gf ix
    Pls…I’m 21yrs nd ma gf ix 19yrs nd we are both virgins…We av decided 2 be free of virginity hood,,,but we always find it hard to, coz we both hav no exprience of it…Pls hw can i mak it a reality(disvirgin her)?…

    1. Krix,

      Krix,
      Check out our making love section, there is a lot of information on first time sex there.
      Make sure she is very wet and relaxed, and you need yo be very gentle.
      And, make sure you use protection!

  21. I really love sex but I dont
    I really love sex but I dont have a partner
    Sometimes I even don’t sleep due to erection.
    What can I do to stop this?

    1. Have you tried masturbating?
      Have you tried masturbating? It’s a normal part of a healthy sex life.

  22. so sweet having sex with the
    so sweet having sex with the one i love

  23. Some ladies makes it boring
    Some ladies makes it boring collecting money for sex. Yoruba ladies

    1. Dicky,

      Dicky,
      Well, there is a market for it, so you can’t just blame the ladies

  24. Am looking for a patner.
    Am looking for a patner. Please hook me up.

    1. Sorry, Kari’s, we can’t help
      Sorry, Kari’s, we can’t help you with that! Check out our flirting tips, though

  25. I really enjoy sex than
    I really enjoy sex than everything in my life

    1. Keep enjoying, but do it
      Keep enjoying, but do it responsibly, please!

  26. do men also experience
    do men also experience multiple orgasm

    1. Not in the way women do. Men
      Not in the way women do. Men have a refractory period, which means they need time to recover after an ejaculation.

  27. What’s the normal size of a
    What’s the normal size of a labia

    1. Labia vary in shapes and
      Labia vary in shapes and sizes. Even if they are very long, or short, there is no reason to be concerned.

  28. i don’t like men just like
    i don’t like men just like that .i use to fuck my self using figure why? ineed this to end help me please

    1. Hi Esther,

      Hi Esther,
      Are you saying you want to stop masturbating?

  29. mmmmm sex is verythng for i
    mmmmm sex is verythng for i fill luved and great efter hvng sex with my girlfrend

  30. sex z grt f only u r wit d
    sex z grt f only u r wit d pason u luv

  31. i enjoy sex much but my
    i enjoy sex much but my girlfrend when having it she feel pain en cry en pliz help safe days ni gani

    1. Frank,

      Frank,
      she is probably not aroused and wet enough, and that can cause pain. So make sure you have lots of foreplay, and make sure she is very, very wet, and relaxed.
      Safe days don’t exist. People claim that there are certain days when it is safer to have unprotected sex, but it only works with extremely regular cycles that aren’t too short. Unless you are ready to become a father soon, you and your partner will be better off choosing a more reliable birth control method.

  32. Hallo do contraceptives
    Hallo do contraceptives interefere with libido
    ?

    1. Natasha,

      Natasha,
      some hormonal methods can initially affect your libido, and some women will have a lack of libido as a side effect. But generally, they shouldn’t/.

  33. To me sex iz nt gd befr mrrge
    To me sex iz nt gd befr mrrge

    1. That’s fine, Kagu, but we
      That’s fine, Kagu, but we believe in letting people make their own decisions without judging.

  34. when ever i sex i dont feel
    when ever i sex i dont feel anything do i have a problem please help

    1. Margy,

      Margy,
      there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Most women have trouble having an orgasm without the clitoris being stimulated- and most men don’t know this. This has nothing to do with size, as the in-and out movement of sex alone won’t get you enough clitoral stimulation. Check out this section to learn more about the clitoris, and have your man stimulate it during foreplay and intercourse: http://lovematters.co.ke/resource/vulva

  35. i realy dnt like sex nd my
    i realy dnt like sex nd my huby likes it wat du i du

    1. (No subject)
      Hi Irine,

      What exactly don’t you like about sex? Is it how you have it? Does it cause discomfort for you?

  36. Hi i want sombody can make…
    Hi i want sombody can make real sex

  37. I am a victim of anxiety,…
    I am a victim of anxiety, worries whether my partner will be satisfied with what i am doing and sometimes wondering whether what i am doing is right. How can i overcome these drawbacks?

    1. Hi David, 

      This happens to…

      Hi David, 

      This happens to some people and is totally normal, especially with new partners. There’s always the anxiety and worry that we may not satisfy a sex partner. To counter this, the first thing to do is to work on being confident about your body since in some cases, it may be that you worry whether your partner finds you attractive. Second, have open communication about what your partner likes and enjoys and vice versa. Don’t be afraid to bring up conversations about what else you can try to spice up your sex life. 

  38. And what is this oral sex…
    And what is this oral sex exactly?

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