Man's hands, holding a red rose

A lesson in seduction

By Valentine Njoroge December 29, 06:59 am
Please, can you help me seduce a stranger girl? asks a reader. Valentine suggests he begin with baby steps before trying any long strides.

Shyness is normal

Your question seems simple but it really isn’t. Shyness around the opposite sex is particularly common in Kenya where a lot of our high schools are same-sex. We spend most of our adolescence only speaking to the opposite sex when they happen to be family members.

Start easy

Before we get to seduction, how about we start with a conversation? Women can be intimidating. We are so different from men and I hear from male friends and colleagues that everything about us can be distracting. The way we walk, our smiles, skin, hips, breasts, the way we smell, our voices…
It can be a visual, auditory, and olfactory overload, so be patient with yourself.

Instead of focusing on your crush and trying to speak to her, can you speak to other women?

Try flirting with the kiosk lady as you pick up some things for the house. Tease your sister’s friends and watch them respond to you. This will gradually build your confidence.

Listen up

Most women do not like a man who comes on too strong with the 'seduction vibe'. A guy who can start a conversation and listen to us as we speak and ask us questions is more likely the guy we will gravitate towards.

The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and the way to a woman’s heart is through a man’s ears. So just say 'hi' and initiate conversation politely and then listen. Pay attention as she prattles on about her day, her friends, her interests etc. Then ask her some follow-up questions such as what she likes about her friends or what she finds particularly interesting about her hobbies.

If you think 'seduction' you will be awkward.

Instead, think of it as the opportunity for you to get to know a cool person. Later, down the line, you can start giving her compliments about how she is dressed and how she makes you feel like: 'Seeing you makes my day!'

Just be patient and try to relax and have fun.

How do you approach a stranger you are attracted to? If you need help, head to our discussion board.

Did you learn something new?

Thax love matters Africa,i a gf who heard wrong information about me and she decided to Chuck me yet i still love her too too much how can i win her back,please help me+++++++++++
Hi Tony, Have you tried explaining to her the truth as you know it? Unfortunately, you can only tell her what is truth from you end and let her make a decision. You can't make her be with you if she does not want to. Do talk to her, get her the truth. Remember relationships are built on trust and in the absence of trust a relationship may not work. We wish you well.
Ma kevo
Tue, 10/14/2014 - 10:11 pm
i erect for abt two min n before i strt sex ma penis goes down n itz tyke tym to xtrand again plz help Wat de plblem?
Hi there, when you say it's going down, does this mean you have already ejaculated? In terms of getting another erection, it's normal that it takes time. It's the so-called refractory period, it means that your body needs time to recovery before you can have another erection. And that can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours, depending on your age, fitness, and a bunch of other factors.
Hi Mart, so you ejaculated and then lost your erection, is that it? But that's totally normal! Nothing wrong with this, even if you don't last long. It's normal for men who are not sexually experienced to ejaculate quickly. And no, masturbation won't change that, masturbation is a normal part of a healthy sex life.
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