Threesomes: do's and dont's
Jackie Smithson

Threesome: do’s and don’ts

By Dr. Gaurav Deka January 15, 06:53 am
The idea of having a third person in the bedroom can be tempting, but tricky at the same time. To play it cool, trust Love Matters’ list of do’s and don’ts.
Do's...
Be sure

Well before you jump in bed with two other people, ask yourself if you’re ready for it. What are your reasons for wanting a threesome? Are you in a relationship and looking to add some spice to your sex life? If yes, have you considered if bringing in a third person into your bedroom might lead to jealousy and turn matters worse? On the other hand, if you’re single, have you thought about how this would affect the relationship between the three of you in the future? Do weigh all your pros and cons.

Take a safe pick

Once you’re sure about your motivations, think about whom you would want to do it with? If you’re in a relationship, pick someone who isn’t threatening to your relationship and understand the reason behind your adventure. Do not ever try this out with your spouse’s best friend or your close friends. You may find it painful to see your partner pay more attention to someone you both know well. If you’re single and looking for some fun, it’s important to find someone with the same intentions.

Set some guidelines

Don’t forget to set some ground rules. Speak with your partners and consider all the choices and possibilities. Threesomes can get demanding and even dirty! If you like, suggest safe words or signs to indicate a time out or stop.

Keep communication alive

Yes, keep up the sexy talk. Talking to each other during the act might increase pleasure!  It’s also okay to take a step away for a moment and say some sexy things while you observe the rest making out. Then join in slowly and let the other person say a word or two. It is important that you communicate with each other, not just with words, but also gestures and movements.

Be considerate

Always remember to consciously make an effort to give everyone a chance. The beauty of a threesome lies in its slowness. Hasty sex could only ruin all the fun for all three of you. During the act, remember to take turns and let everyone get a chance at the ride!

Feel comfortable with saying no

Don’t hesitate to say no to something that you’re uncomfortable with. It might seem daunting to go against the flow, but it’s essential that you don’t feel pressured into something you aren’t ready for. Remember, sex, even when it’s with more than one person at a time, is pleasurable only with consent.

Dont's...
Get get over attached

Getting emotionally close to one of the participants can be disastrous for a threesome. It will not only create complications, but may also offend the other and make them feel left out. Try to divide your attention equally. You certainly don’t want the night to end in drama or even worse, tears.

Try to solve relationship woes with a threesome

If your relationship is currently going through a bumpy ride and your partner slips in the idea of including a third partner to spice it up, don’t give in! Inside your head it may seem unimaginably sexy to see your partner with another person but in reality, it can make things worse for you. Even the most liberal of partners cannot help being jealous.

Get drunk before the act

Getting a little tipsy can definitely help set the mood and shed inhibitions, but don’t get drunk. A lot can happen in a state of stupor. When there are boundaries, rules and safe words to take care of, you cannot expect yourself to be drunk and play it smooth at the same time.

Always aim for climax

You will enjoy a threesome better if you play it longer. Threesomes aren’t supposed to be goal-oriented. Don’t make orgasms the end destination. And remember that you’re a performer. Try to ditch climax for a while and soak yourself in lots of foreplay
 

Have you ever had a threesome? Would you like to share your experiences in comments or on Facebook.

Did you learn something new?

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