Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Sex is a gift, not a right

By Valentine Njoroge June 1, 03:00 pm
I wasn't in the mood for sex but my boyfriend insisted until I accepted. The following day, he told me that I was denying him his rights and we broke up. Now what?

Good for you!

You might not want to hear this but congratulations girl! You had a boyfriend in your life who thought that his sexual desire was more important than your wishes and your desires. Nobody has ‘rights’ over the body of another.

We share our bodies with our partners because we choose to express our desire for them in that way. Even within marriage, sex is not a right.

Good for you for getting out of this situation before it went horribly wrong.

Your partner needs to respect you

You might not feel fantastic right now. You might even be heart-broken but take heart. Love and romantic relationships only flourish between people who take their partners wishes into consideration. It seems to be a paradox but the only way you can fully give yourself to another is if you know that they respect your rights and the boundaries you set for that sharing. The more respect a man has for a woman’s body, the more she is likely to share it with him freely. If he abuses that privilege then she can take it away, as you have.

A man who thinks that a woman’s body is his, denies her the opportunity to give, and he denies himself the opportunity to receive. If a woman turned around and made the same demands on a man, she too would be denying herself the opportunity to receive his gift freely.

Choose better

Stay focused on the fact that you have treated yourself with respect and high esteem. You will miss him and remember all the things he does right because, of course, there was a reason you were with him and nobody is totally horrible. The point here is not to demonize him but to choose better for yourself. You will have to keep making that choice each time you feel the urge to call him, or he calls you. You will get through this.

Have you ever had sex against your will? Let us know if you need any assistance.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Kevin N.
Tue, 06/02/2015 - 09:41 pm
To be honest, that guy is such a heartless twat. And in my opinion, guys that have 'girlfriends' just for sex are really selfish. I'm no love doctor but I believe there's lots to enjoy in relationships than just sex.
Benard
Wed, 06/03/2015 - 07:08 am
This man to me was in a relationship for sex only and l believe first sex with the girl, anyway being in relationship is not only for sex but alot is involve in between the two.
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