Sex is a gift, not a right
I wasn’t in the mood for sex but my boyfriend insisted until I accepted. The following day, he told me that I was denying him his rights and we broke up. Now what?
Good for you!
You might not want to hear this but congratulations girl! You had a boyfriend in your life who thought that his sexual desire was more important than your wishes and your desires. Nobody has ‘rights’ over the body of another.
We share our bodies with our partners because we choose to express our desire for them in that way. Even within marriage, sex is not a right.
Good for you for getting out of this situation before it went horribly wrong.
Your partner needs to respect you
You might not feel fantastic right now. You might even be heart-broken but take heart. Love and romantic relationships only flourish between people who take their partners wishes into consideration. It seems to be a paradox but the only way you can fully give yourself to another is if you know that they respect your rights and the boundaries you set for that sharing. The more respect a man has for a woman’s body, the more she is likely to share it with him freely. If he abuses that privilege then she can take it away, as you have.
A man who thinks that a woman’s body is his, denies her the opportunity to give, and he denies himself the opportunity to receive. If a woman turned around and made the same demands on a man, she too would be denying herself the opportunity to receive his gift freely.
Choose better
Stay focused on the fact that you have treated yourself with respect and high esteem. You will miss him and remember all the things he does right because, of course, there was a reason you were with him and nobody is totally horrible. The point here is not to demonize him but to choose better for yourself. You will have to keep making that choice each time you feel the urge to call him, or he calls you. You will get through this.
Have you ever had sex against your will? Let us know if you need any assistance.
Tell us what you think
Recent Comments (42)
Thea is once i had sex
Thea is once i had sex unwillinly,it made mi hate the guy,,,until 2dai am filled wit bitterness
So sorry to hear about that,
So sorry to hear about that, Annita.
I need girl friend
I need girl friend
Sorry, can’t help you with
Sorry, can’t help you with that.
To be honest, that guy is
To be honest, that guy is such a heartless twat. And in my opinion, guys that have ‘girlfriends’ just for sex are really selfish. I’m no love doctor but I believe there’s lots to enjoy in relationships than just sex.
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Kevin
This man to me was in a
This man to me was in a relationship for sex only and l believe first sex with the girl, anyway being in relationship is not only for sex but alot is involve in between the two.
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Benard.
I had it unwillingly ad it
I had it unwillingly ad it made me break the relatnship.
Oh no!
Oh no!
I truly hear a lot about love
I truly hear a lot about love sex this is terribly I have never have sex how or y I know
Lameck,
Lameck,
only have sex when you are ready for it.
Don’t push it- your time will come!
i hve my gfrd who i have
i hve my gfrd who i have lived with him 4 2yrx ad we never enjoyed sex with him ad alwz tells me 2 wait tz normal or there is problem…am waiting ur advce..
Joshua,
Joshua,
you haven’t had sex together yet, or you are not enjoying it when you are having sex?
we had a conversation about
we had a conversation about sex and my glfrnd arboted the rlationship hav tried to make her cool but she replied she has tossed up the rlationship
Oh no. What happened since?
Oh no. What happened since?
I was forced to have sex by
I was forced to have sex by the man who is my legal guardian when i was 16 yrs.He apologyised later but such athing will never leave my mind
Of course not! So sorry you
Of course not! So sorry you had to go through this, my dear.
i hv agalfrnd 2 since 4 yearz
i hv agalfrnd 2 since 4 yearz nw stil telz me 2 wait bt me im yarnin 4 ha.z it normal 0??
Sure it’s normal! Has she
Sure it’s normal! Has she told you why you should wait?
its so sad that men believe a
its so sad that men believe a successful love is full of sex bt believe me i dated my wife for one year without sex.she was not ready so i had to be patient
Thank you for sharing your
Thank you for sharing your experience, David!
My love is free is with me
My love is free is with me,when she is nt for it,i respect her opinion!we hv neva done it forcefully
That’s great Tom! We wish all
That’s great Tom! We wish all people would think this way!
my grlfrnd forced me 2 have
my grlfrnd forced me 2 have sex bt i was unwilling to do it bt i did it coz i understanded her filings
She needs to understand as
She needs to understand as well that she can’t force you!
why all men dating ladies
why all men dating ladies demand for sex to proove their love
That’s a very good question,
That’s a very good question, Natasha!
Force sex doesnt do any good,
Force sex doesnt do any good,, altho xship voice of sex would seem hollow/empty but it will be ok if a couple mutually decide to wait,,,thanks
Thanks for sharing your
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Soita!
the day i had sex i was of
the day i had sex i was of 15yrs i didn’t expected it b’se i just visted my friend but 4 him was ag’st sex so when i entered he closed da door but it was so painful and 4rm that day i hate sex alot
So so sorry this is what you
So so sorry this is what you had to go through.
It’s no wonder you hate sex. We hope we are going to find someone at some point who will make you love it.
Pliz I nid ur help..though it
Pliz I nid ur help..though it might nt be related to the topic,buh I believe u cn help..1st, I cn’t express ma feelings to my patner..buh cn do it well thru texts,how do I go about this?
Millicent,
Millicent,
it’s great you can do it via text, that’s already a huge step!
Do you think you are too shy to do it in person? Maybe make a plan, start by writing a few simple things you want to say down and practice them.
The worsest thing ever, is
The worsest thing ever, is when a wife has xtra affairs, so is she unsatisfied by her husband or what’s the problem?
Felkem,
Felkem,
there can be very many reasons for having affairs, and it will differ from case to case.
Naona sasa mmeanza kukua…
Naona sasa mmeanza kukua watu bladifakin
LOL, Felix! Acha hizo! Kwa…
LOL, Felix! Acha hizo! Kwa nini sasa?!
If sex is not you man ‘s…
If sex is not you man ‘s rights don’t date him ,you are selfish.if you don’t him ,he find it outside you call him a cheater.
Hi Alfredo,
Thank you for…
Hi Alfredo,
Thank you for your opinion. That’s why people in a relationship need to know what they want from the relationship as well as what their partner wants. people in a relationship need to know whether they share goals instead of just assuming things. It is not selfish not to agree to have sex with a man, it is a decision that should be respected. It could be that it is too soon, or the partner is not interested in having sex at that moment -it could also be bad timing! Instead of cheating, just say break up and look for someone who agrees to your demands.
There’s this guy I met some…
There’s this guy I met some few days ago, he wants us to have sex even though I don’t feel like it. I like him and I would wish to know him better before we rip each other’s clothes but he insists on having sex ??
Hi Coma,
Huh, this one is…
Hi Coma,
Huh, this one is always an awkward situation. I advise you to stay firm, do not let him pressure you into having sex if you are not ready. Ensure that you understand what he wants from that relationship and that you too understand what he wants from you. You may find that he is not interested in a deep relationship while that what you want. Tell him you’re not ready and that you’d wish that you get to know each other better first before ‘ripping each other’s clothes.’ If he does not respect your wish to wait until you are ready, it means that you two are not on the same page and this may lead to more conflicts, he may not compromise on other important issues in the future if you give in just because he wants to have sex. Stay firm!