How do I know my partner is having an orgasm?

When their legs shake? Moan loudly? Say ‘stop! Stop?! Breath heavily?

Can you tell your partner is having an orgasm by looking at them?

For men, yes since they often ejaculate, but for women is not that easy.

There is no one way to have an orgasm, especially for women(including intersex women). Lots of people think there are sure signs that you’ll always know when someone had an orgasm, but the truth is you can’t tell just by looking at them.

We are all different plus we all know someone who likes to fake orgasms.

Orgasm is the peak of sexual arousal when all the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal relax. Often, when someone with a penis orgasm, they ejaculate. That’s when semen comes out of the penis, which you can actually see, and sometimes when someone with a vulva has an orgasm, their vagina might release fluid too.

Orgasms can happen through many different kinds of sexual activities, including vaginal, oral, and anal sex. In fact, for most people with the vulva, orgasms happen by stimulating their clitoris, which has thousands of nerve endings, and they may not need to have their vagina stimulated to have an orgasm.

People with vulvas may also experience orgasm by having their G-spot stimulated. Men too can have orgasms when the prostrate is stimulated.

Ask, and thou shall be answered!

But just because you can’t tell when your partner has an orgasm doesn’t mean you have to guess. All you need to do is ask. If you talk openly and often with your partner listening and asking questions, you can learn what makes them feel good, and they can learn what makes you feel good too.

Check in with a partner, because what makes them feel pleasure and orgasm can change over time. It’s also important to remember that sex in real life probably won’t be like what we see in movies or porn. Obviously!

In movies, people almost always orgasm in dramatic ways or every time they have sex but this is not always the case in real life. But if a person feels pressured to have an orgasm, even with the best intentions, it may have the opposite effect. Stress and/or anxiety can negatively impact our ability to experience orgasm.

Different people experience pleasure differently, and that’s why it’s super important to listen and talk about all this stuff. It’s not just the one time but throughout the relationship.

Also, remember that you don’t always have to have to cum!