In search of that ultimate secret
People are always looking for easy answers when it comes to having great sex and satisfying relationships.
This urge for clarity explains the popularity of articles such as: ‘Six secrets of couples still having great sex in long-term relationships’. (In short, it involves lots of practice-practice-practice and communication – and it also helps if you share similar sex drives and kinks.)
Or an article such as: ‘Multiple orgasms for men? The fascinating technique that might open up whole new sexual experience’. (In short, it involves lots of practice-practice-practice and giving up on that old boring idea that ejaculation = orgasm).
So is the secret just hard work?
What’s the secret behind the most sexually satisfied countries?
Condom brand Durex did extensive research to come up with: ‘12 most sexually satisfied countries unveiled’.
'Countries that are more socially liberal and have relaxed attitudes toward sex tend to have lower rates of STDs, teen pregnancies, and abortions, and much more satisfying sex lives in general.' This is certainly the case for countries such as Switzerland, the Netherlands, and Germany.
A general openness to sexual matters seems to drive the sexual satisfaction of traditional Latin lover countries such as Spain, Italy, and Brazil.
A willingness to openly discuss their sexual desires seems to drive the Greeks to have the most sex on average in the world (164 times per year).
Then there’s the winner: 'Nigeria is rated the number-one sexually satisfied nation in the world with 67 per cent of its population claiming sexual gratification. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that Nigerians also take the longest time having sex, at 24 minutes per average session.'
That doesn’t sound that hard.
Loose hips make for loose lips
'In the aftermath of having experienced an orgasm, people are more likely to share important information with their partners,' according to ‘Orgasms and alcohol influence pillow talk’.
In other words, people are more prone to share their secrets after sex.
'Oxytocin, a ‘pro-social’ hormone, floods a person’s brain immediately after orgasm. Elevated levels of oxytocin are linked with a greater sense of trust and reduced perceptions of threat.'
But meanwhile (and contrary to popular belief): 'mixing alcohol with sex is unlikely to lead individuals to divulge more of their important secrets.'
So can we conclude that if you want to keep a secret, you should drink more and orgasm less?
What kind of secret is that?
Your darkest secret: now on Google.
It’s amazing what secrets lurk just a web search away: ‘“We were related”: Singles reveal the most shocking secrets they found out about their date just by GOOGLING them’.
The app Whisper allows the sharing of anonymous secrets, and its users did indeed dig up some spicy stuff:
'He's married and has kids.'
'He was wanted by the police for grand theft auto.'
'She had a breast reduction.'
'He did a few sex tapes.'
'Farts. He had a video of himself farting.'
The internet knows when you’re having sex
'Larger commerce companies like Amazon and Target can, by analysing your data, roughly predict whether a woman is pregnant. They can even guess when her due date is,' according to ‘These companies know more about your sex life than you might be comfortable with’. But yes, it’s not rocket science: the companies just check whether you’re buying diapers or vitamin supplements.
'Now imagine it is Saturday evening, you’ve been playing upbeat songs all day via Spotify, then around 7 pm you play some dinner music and at 9 pm you switch to some Barry White. It doesn’t take a genius to know what you’re doing.'
'If you are wearing an Apple Watch (at all times, right?), FitBit or Jawbone UP then those companies have that intimate data too. Every time you turn around, or move that arm up and down, and up and down, and… well, you get the idea.'
'You check Facebook every 2 minutes, right? So when you and your date get together and for exactly 43 minutes don’t check anything, and then at the same time check back in again? Yep, Facebook knows.'
Perhaps there are no secrets.
What’s your deepest secret? Leave a comment below or join the discussion on Facebook.