Red heart surrounded by sugar

Sugar mummies & daddies: getting some sugar?

By Kerubo Akello January 24, 02:25 pm
Sugar mummies and daddies: is there something wrong with using your youthful beauty to add some extra sweetness to your dough?

Making beauty work for you

Let's be honest here. Sometimes, you want to be a success in life; the way many of our parents' generation did it. Go to school. Get a job. Work hard, get promoted, make sure your retirement plan and pension are secure. And then sit back and watch your grandchildren run circles around you. Sounds pretty idyllic, right? Life doles out a hand to you, and you use what you have to get what you need.

But sometimes, there is another option. What about those people who choose the hand they've been dealt by nature – that of good looks and great taste? When you realise the power of your face and decide to use it to make the money: be an escort.

Sugar mummies and daddies = modern-day sex work?

Escort. That still sounds like such a dirty word to people – and especially to parents, which is why you will never tell them about your 'career'. Because the first thing they will think of is sex work.

Colloquially, a lot of people call this having a sugar daddy or a sugar mummy – yes, it's popular across both sexes. But is it really as terrible as some people make it sound?

Economic agreement or exploitation?

After all, it's an arrangement between two adults who have consented to whatever they have discussed beforehand, whether in terms of favours, company, or product. Can this really be held against them, if they are both truly getting what they want, nothing more, nothing less?

Just because it isn't a standard, conventional relationship built on love and trust, does that make it completely invalid?

To be fair, there is definitely a certain amount of trust involved – trust that both sides with keeping up their ends of the bargain in a respectful way, just like in any relationship.

However, there is the fact that it is one of the easiest relationships to lead to exploitation because of the power play involved. More often than not, power and money trump beauty and youth. And the youth find themselves in a situation where they are constantly and desperately doing more and more to get more and more from their 'benefactors'.

Another possibility is when one side maintains a fallacy of emotion towards the other – faking love – so that they can continue to get these benefits under false pretences. What does this become then, if not toxic?

Your choice (but be safe)

Sex work is said to be one of the oldest professions in human history; regardless of efforts to ban it, stop it, condemn it, or taint it. There is always a willing buyer and a willing seller.

The fact is, fortunately, sex work is no longer as taboo as it was many years ago, hence the change of terminologies and legal regulations in many countries to take care of sex workers, their health, their access to security and medical care, among other precautions.

In the case of the sugar mummy/sugar daddy culture, what you have to ask yourself is how it makes you feel and how sustainable it is in the long run. And above all else, be careful – even if sex isn't on the table (if we're still being honest, it usually is).

It isn't terrible to want nice stuff or trips abroad, and things like that. What really matters is what you're willing to do to get them, and if that sits right with you.

Would you consider getting (or being) a sugar mummy or daddy? Leave a comment below or join our discussion on Facebook. If you need support or more information, check out our forum.

Did you learn something new?

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