Asking someone out: do's and don'ts
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Asking someone out: do's and don'ts

By Friday, November 14, 2014 - 17:18
You fancy that girl or boy and you’ve got positive vibes from them. Now comes the next big step – asking them out. This can be tricky. What should you say? What shouldn’t you say? What are the golden rules to obey? Read on to find out.
Do...
Meet them in person

The best way to ask someone out is to do it face-to-face. Asking someone out over SMS, email, chat or Facebook makes your approach seem impersonal. So try getting them at a quiet time, preferably when they are alone, and strike up a natural conversation.

Keep it open

'Would you be up for doing something together sometime?' is a good opener. This gives them less of a chance to say no straight away. Also, the way they react to your question could help you gauge whether they really feel like going out on a date with you.

If they seem positive, you can be sure that they won’t turn your next date request down. If you notice reluctance in their tone, you should probably hang on and re-evaluate whether they are really interested in you or not. In case you feel they aren’t excited by the idea at all, it won’t make you feel as though you lost out because you didn’t actually ask them out in the first place!

Have the date planned

Once you know that you’re definitely going to hear a 'yes' from them, it’s time to plan a date and make the move. Invite them to do an activity with you, like going for a hike or watching a movie together. Simply ask, 'Would you like to watch a movie this weekend if you’re free?'

Doing something together, instead of meeting over dinner, for instance, will take the onus off your shoulders from making sure both of you have a good time!

Be yourself

Don’t put on an act, try to be cool, or try too hard to impress. Just be yourself, and be warm and friendly. You want them to go on a date because of who you really are – not because you spun them some made-up tale to impress them.

Don't...
Stalk

Don’t lurk around them trying to find the right moment and time to ask them out. You could come across as being a weirdo or worse, a stalker! If you always find them in a group, ask them if you could get a minute or two with them. But keep your tone relaxed, and don’t…

Make it sound like it’s a big deal

It could well be the scariest thing you’ve ever done, but don’t let it show. Be confident and kill the nervousness. Keep your tone casual and your body language relaxed. And don’t intimidate them by making it seem too important. That could make them wary of your intentions.

Of course, doesn’t mean you should be cool and offhand – see ‘be yourself’ above. If you give the impression you’re not really bothered about them, why should they go on a date with you?

Freak out if they say ‘no’

If they say ‘yes’, congratulations! You’ve just got yourself a date!

Time to check out our first date do's and don'ts.

If they said ‘no,’ it could seem like the sky came crashing down on you. But you need to keep your composure. Don’t over react, abuse or threaten them. They are probably just quite surprised that you fancy them in the first place or are genuinely busy. And even if they are disinterested, there’s no harm. There are still a lot of single men and women out there looking to date!

 

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Comments
I got this lady's no. from a friend & she insists I must tell her who gave me her digits. I wouldn't like to betray the friend. What should I do to win her?
Their is this girl i fancy but i have my doubts, coz she always turns me down wen i ask her out 4 a walk but gladly accepts my invitation 4 lunch or so, recently i decided not to call her to she if she could call, but it took her a month to call, and when she called she was asking for money saying that she was broke, i didn't send the money immediately, so she later called and told me that I only love her in gud tyms, and that i couldn't even send her money to buy 'pads'
Sorry, doesn't sound like a good start! She needs money and maybe a lot of it! If you run dry (no money), it's possible she'd also run! So you fancy her, yes; but your relationship must be built on more than just money. I think you should hold off the money and see if you can find other things that you have in common. It's important to build a friendship before paying for lunches etc., otherwise you just become a 'sponsor'. Can you do other neutral things besides just taking her out to lunch (Sounds like you're the one always footing the bill?!)
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