Two people embracing each other, him kissing her neck
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is it love?

Love is a powerful, positive emotion. Like all emotions, you may experience it differently depending on your age, the relationship you're in, and the kind of person you are.

Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with them.

Being in love is the intense feeling at the start of a relationship, when you only see the positive things about the other person and walk around with your head in the clouds. This feeling can be so intense it actually hurts – especially if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The feeling of being in love develops over time, and becomes a deeper, steadier, tender feeling for the other person – you love them.

Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years – sometimes for a lifetime.

Read also: 5 signs of healthy love

Are you in love?

When you’re in love, you think about the person you’re in love with all day. You think everything they do is wonderful. Being in love can make you feel on top of the world, but it can also make you nervous and edgy.

You get a strange, restless feeling when you see the person. You might even get stomach ache. You can’t help smiling. You don’t know what to say when you see them – or you talk too much because you’re trying to impress them.

If all this sounds familiar, you’re probably in love!

Scientists have tried to find out what makes us feel this way, and what happens to our brains when we're in love. They found that really does go to our heads: our bodies produce more of certain hormones like oxytocin, commonly known as the 'love hormone'.

Read also: 9 useful tips to talk to someone you like

Making love

Having sex is also called 'making love' because it's such an important part of a romantic or intimate relationship. But love and sex aren't the same thing – you can have one without the other. Many people only have sex with someone they love, but you can also have sex out of lust – just for the pleasure of having sex. Still, most people find deeper pleasure in having sex with the person they love.

Read more about making love.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Anonymous
Sat, 12/31/2016 - 05:52 pm
There was a guy I dated 3years ago,we were so in love with each other before I gained admission, we broke up few months after I resumed school, two years later after I have moved on ND dated for a while, he wanted us back but things weren't the way they were b4.We sepererated again then I met another who loves me more than I do that I myself can even vouch for. This guy I was dating before came back talking about commitment and I couldn't say no to him but am confused now I don't think I love either of them Co's I don't want to lose them both for reasons that is not of the heart.... Am confused
It sounds as though you are not sure about what you want. You need to take time and really think about what you want and what is important for you in your life. It’s not easy but it’s a decision only you can make. Think about it and make a decision on the way forward.
JUSTUS
Sat, 12/31/2016 - 08:26 pm
I Have Been I Luv With This Girl For Over Six Years. I Luv Her So Much And She Luvs Me To But The Problem Is She Cant Allow Us To Have Sex Yet She Says She Luvs Me So Much. The Only Thing On Her Her Mind Is Marriage And She Has Rejected Very Many Men Coz She Wants Me To Marry Her.She Has Always Visited Me But No Sex. Last Time I Told Her To End Our Relationship Coz Am Not Ready To Marry At A Time Shes Suggesting Coz Am Still Doing My Bachelors Degree And Continous Refusal To Have Sex For All These Years But She Cried,came To Visit Me But Insisted She Has To Get Married To Me But No Sex Before Marriage.She Also Wants Me To Take Her To My Home. What Should I Do? Should I Remain In Luv With Her Or We Part Our Ways? Does She Really Love Me Like She Claims? Could She Have Done Some Witchcraft On Me Coz I Also Find It Hard To Get Another Lover?
Hi Justus, Love is not measured by sex. The fact that she wants to wait till until she is married shows that she has principles and is focused about what she wants. This a good quality. You need to talk to her and evaluate what your expectations of each other are.
Anonimous
Sun, 01/01/2017 - 04:22 pm
Am in luv with this guy and i love him very much,he cheated on me once but we solved the issue with even his ex,but he does not give me time he is always buzy ihav tried talking to him but he gives me the same excuse one time we had an argument and he started comparing me to his ex,i cant say he doep not love me coz he introduced me to the church that am his wife to be but am still confused and i lost trust in him.help me pliz
Hi, It sounds as though you have not been able to define your relationship fully. Take time and talk to your partner, and define your relationship. Talk about your expectations of each other . Defining your relationship is important in defining the direction of where you want to be.
Pauline Kevin
Mon, 01/02/2017 - 03:44 pm
Hi,av been in love with this guy for 2 years now,i love him so very much but he has changed his love azn the way he loved me wen we met is not the same as now.i love him truely no lie but wen i want to break with him he accepts to break but the problem with me i can't sleep,eat-stressed.wen i tell him he welcomes me back to his life.does he love me please help me.
Hi Pauline, Love does not remain the same through time. You need to take time to talk to you partner more to share how you feel about each other. Check out this article to learn more https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/relationship-problems .
I don't know much about love, but if it's this kind of feeling that can't let u sleep without talking to a particular person or see him, then i guess am in love with this Eric guy. The problem is that am not sure if he feels the same about me. He knows i love him coz i tell him everyday, he claims he loves me too but i don't believe him. He doesn't seem to care, unless men have a different kind of a way to show their love. What i know is i love him
Hi Laura, This might be difficult to hear but if someone shows you that they do not care its probably is because they do not care. You need to take time and think about the kind of relationship you want to be in. If your current relationship is not what you want, then you need to take time to decide what you want for yourself.
we are in love but our parents are complicating it with issues that are of less importance like they think she's still young even though shes already past 25yrs and she's even embloyed by the government. is that even a reason to refuse our marriage?
Hi Tobby, Marriage is a serious commitment and one needs to be sure about it. The decision need s to be made by the two people in the relationship. Read more here https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/marriage .
Ngetich
Tue, 01/03/2017 - 10:32 am
iam experiencing tiz my fellow frdz av been in love for te last one year bt ma ldy was taken a month ago woi!!!!pliz guide
When you’re in love, you tend to turn a blind eye to the flaws in your partner’s personality. Make sure you are basing your decision to get married on a deeper understanding of your lover or partner. Being in love is the intense feeling at the start of a relationship, when you only see the positive things about the other person and walk around with your head in the clouds. This feeling can be so intense it actually hurts – especially if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you. The feeling of being in love develops over time, and becomes a deeper, steadier, tender feeling for the other person - you love them. Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years - sometimes for a lifetime.
Precious
Wed, 01/04/2017 - 11:01 am
I have a boyfriend who claims he loves me though he was dating my girlfriend now he left me just because i got pregnant for him now i have no choice bt to abort the child. Now he want me back wat do i do because i still love him.
This is one of those questions that do not have a straight answer. Whether its good or bad depends with an individual own opinion. Getting back with your ex depends on a few things like, do you both still want the same thing? Do you feel you can be able to resolve the issues that le to the break up in the first place? After you’ve ended your relationship, one big question is whether you can remain friends with your ex. There’s no clear answer to that question. It depends on you, your ex and how the relationship ended. But be picky, too. If you know that the differences between you while dating were too big, the same might happen in the new relationship. It's not worth getting hurt twice! Its always important to take care and your feelings first before you make a step towards mending the relationship. Having a sober mind while making such a decision is very important. Here is an article about being friends with an ex https://lovematters.co.ke/news/friends-ex-dos-and-donts .
Lech kapish
Wed, 01/04/2017 - 02:31 pm
Am inlove with this guy joshu but i found out he has another gal wen i asked him he denied it bt i had evidence of them together shuld i break up with him then his bro claims to be in love with me what will i do help plz
Hi Lech, It sounds like you are in a complicated situation. It would be wise to deal with your current relationship before you can start thinking about your next relationship. Here is an article that will give you more insight https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/cheating .
brenda
Wed, 01/04/2017 - 04:51 pm
Hi....I wood like to ask if its OK for one to go to a dating agency for a link up.I do feel like I need to have a man in my life.my past relationship was a wreck.the guy am having feelings for atilzsays that he doesn't know what we are.he is always busy.....and,am afraid of being heartbroken again.I want to .EET someone I will love and who loves me back.. And if all goes well...we can start a family together.please advise on the way forward... Should I wait for this other guy or should I start seeing someone else?plus when we are alone together he wants us to get intimate but am uncomfy since am not his girlfriend yet.
I am in wit a guy and he is d first boy I am introducing to my family and I am d first girl he introduce to his family.we HV dated for 2 year since d beginning of our relationship he has always been cheating,and I don't reason other guys outside,always faithful to him.I always forgive wen ever I see him wit another girl even on bed I will over look,now I met him wit a girl eating in his room nd in my present he was trying to feed d girl,I left dem and went home,yesterday d grsndma called me I went to deir hux he was on call wit d other call I collect d phone from him and ask d girl to come and see d bf,dat was becos he said he was expecting d girl nd I call to d hux so he became angry dat I am around.after calling d girl he pushed me down becos I called d girl wit his phone.now him and d family re begging me.pls wat do u called dat
Hi, That sounds like a complicated situation. You need to take time and evaluate the relationship and what It means to you. Are you happy in it? Are you getting what you need? is this the kind of relationship you want to be in? Think about this questions and reflect on the answers and then decide on what you want to do.
duncolama'z
Wed, 01/04/2017 - 09:40 pm
am duncolama'z,,,i have been in relationship with my gf for an year,,,,,,when we are together there are guyz who calls her and request her to go but she tells them that she is busy home,,,but note that we are together,,,,i feel like am forcing her to love me,,,,,she even tells me that she is not capable for love and saying that she is mine,,,,,,so should i leave her?
Hi , It seems you are not sure whether your partner is faithful to you and what you should do. Check out this article to find out https://lovematters.co.ke/news/cheating-top-five-facts .
hephzy
Thu, 01/05/2017 - 02:51 pm
I've bin in a relationship wt a gul 4 almost a year now nd i ave tried diff.way to proof my true luv to him stil he did not believe me.pl. help me out
I have been engaged for months, but to greatest surprise for the my fiance to wake up one morning and told me that i don't have what he needed from a woman. I was confused because we never quarrel for day. That the girls that he have been going out with, that he valued them more than i. And because of that, I have to return his ring back to him. Finally, he is now begging for me to forgive him, due to his parents and friends shouted at him, his now telling me that he is only playing. But the fact is that, after telling me that for several times, all the feelings that i have for him disappear. Please advise me, if you are in my shoes will you go ahead and marry the man that doesn't see you as something.
Getting back with your ex depends on a few things like, do you both still want the same thing? Do you feel you can be able to resolve the issues that le to the break up in the first place? After you’ve ended your relationship, one big question is whether you can remain friends with your ex. There’s no clear answer to that question. It depends on you, your ex and how the relationship ended. But be picky, too. If you know that the differences between you while dating were too big, the same might happen in the new relationship. It's not worth getting hurt twice! Its always important to take care and your feelings first before you make a step towards mending the relationship. Having a sober mind while making such a decision is very important.
Alicerator
Thu, 01/05/2017 - 06:20 pm
My bf and i have a bby,he has nt been helping me ever since i gt pregnant and nw the baby is almost a year.hes working,he dnt cal neither sends a txt.he sends an sms once in a while claiming he love both me n the baby bt i dnt blv hm..ma question should continue wit him or what should i do?advice plz
It looks like you already know the answer to your question and you are only looking for confirmation. The truth is you already know what you want and you only need to put it into action. No one can be able to tell you what is right or wrong for you except yourself.
Angel Carol
Fri, 01/06/2017 - 04:11 pm
Hv been heart broken by da guy I loved so much but now so much in love with another guy but am afraid to commit to him for he may disappoint me just like da first, advise me pliz
Hi Angel, You need to get over the fear of your past relationship. You can only do that if you are bale to move on. Check this out to learn how to https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/after-the-break-up .
I am I love with this guy that is uneducated he has no much money but I really love him I met when he didn't have even a phone.I bought him one and start to teach him one by one but he cannot text sof the only thing we can use is a call or record a audio because am out of the country right now but before I came I did lots of things for this guy that even people used to ask me if I was blind loving that kind of a man and the way I was a bit classy but I just didn't care because I really loved him so my problem is one he is not romantic can someone be teached how to be romantic? I LOVE him and not want to loose him because he is not romantic and I don't know where to start some times that makes me think he doesn't love me. But he always tell me he always tell me he does.please help me save this relationship and not to find myself cheating on him because maybe if I find another one who texts me and charming with romance I can get easily swayed but I don't want that to happen.
It sounds good that you are in a loving relationship. Just like you thought him how to do certain things you can also teach him how you like to be treated or be romantic as you say. There is nothing that cannot be taught. You just need to have a conversation about it with him. All the best to both of you.
i hve been madly in luv wid a gul since i we were in sec skul but i did not tell her coz i had no chnce of xpressing ma feelngs to her till now i feel its high tym to tell her but the gul does not undstnd me en she keep on insistng me that am late yet i know very well that she does not date anyone...wat should i do en i realy want her to be ma gf..??
samson
Sun, 01/08/2017 - 08:24 am
That true dat a true love z not all ways on playing @ not even spending money but it z jst de trust both of have in ur reletionship.
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