Young happy couple in a parking lot

Keeping a relationship strong: do's & don'ts

By Lyandra D'souza February 14, 01:29 pm
How do you keep the magic in your relationship alive? What are the secrets to maximising the happy times and surfing the rough patches? Read on to find out.

Why are relationships so hard? How do you keep them strong? Every little thing counts. Here's how to stay close and connected to your partner after the excitement of a new relationship has reduced.​​​​​

…communicate with each other

Talking and sharing with each other is key and the cornerstone to keeping your relationship strong and healthy.
Unless you share what's worrying you, it's quite likely to eat away at you and the relationship. Whether it's your studies, work, sex life, emotions, friends and family, or just something about your partner that annoys you, bring it out into the open and discuss it honestly and directly with each other.

Similarly, don't be defensive when your partner offers you some feedback. Listen to them with an open mind and look for the truth in what they're saying. Figure out what applies and put yourself in their shoes and be compassionate in your response to them. It's not just what you say, but how you say it, your tone, expressions, and your body language while you do so.

…laugh together

When the atmosphere gets tense, find the right moment to crack a joke and laugh together.

Nothing can cut through negativity quite like humour.

Do your best to make your partner laugh because when you go through tough times, a good laugh can often help you find your way to the other side far easier. A positive attitude will help you over the rough patch.

…make technology work to your advantage

When you’re running short of time, it’s hard to make time for regular conversation, but it's easy enough to send a quick SMS just saying 'I'm thinking of you' or 'I miss you'.

…fall into a rut

With the never-ending pressures of life, it's often easy to fall into a routine and do the same thing day after day. But make a conscious effort to keep the spark going.

Surprise each with unexpected love notes, calls. Return to a place you used to go to in the early days of your courtship or somewhere that has special memories for the both of you. Enjoy your time together.

…become physically distant

It's not enough to just say, ‘I love you’. Show that you do, hold hands, cuddle, and hug and kiss frequently. Give him a hug and a kiss before he leaves home, give her a foot massage after a long work day.

Physical intimacy doesn't just mean sex, a regular tender touch is also essential. Be sensitive to what your partner likes and you can keep the magic going.

…lose yourself

In a relationship, couples often get wrapped up in each other and want to spend every possible moment together. But despite the appeal of your new love, you need to have interests outside of each other.

The time you spend apart will give both of you your own space and allow you to hold on to your own individuality. Instead of merging together and becoming one person, complement and support your partner.

How do you keep your relationship fresh? Leave a comment below or join the conversation on Facebook: Love Matters Naija and Love Matters Kenya.

Did you learn something new?

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