Two people embracing each other, him kissing her neck
(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Is it love?

Love is a powerful, positive emotion. Like all emotions, you may experience it differently depending on your age, the relationship you're in, and the kind of person you are.

Loving someone isn’t the same as being in love with them.

Being in love is the intense feeling at the start of a relationship, when you only see the positive things about the other person and walk around with your head in the clouds. This feeling can be so intense it actually hurts – especially if the person doesn’t feel the same way about you.

The feeling of being in love develops over time, and becomes a deeper, steadier, tender feeling for the other person – you love them.

Love develops in stages, and doesn't always follow the same pattern. But in most cases love begins with the passion of sexual attraction, then the dreamy, overwhelming 'in love' stage, and finally the deeper attachment that develops over time and can last for years – sometimes for a lifetime.

Read also: 5 signs of healthy love

Are you in love?

When you’re in love, you think about the person you’re in love with all day. You think everything they do is wonderful. Being in love can make you feel on top of the world, but it can also make you nervous and edgy.

You get a strange, restless feeling when you see the person. You might even get stomach ache. You can’t help smiling. You don’t know what to say when you see them – or you talk too much because you’re trying to impress them.

If all this sounds familiar, you’re probably in love!

Scientists have tried to find out what makes us feel this way, and what happens to our brains when we're in love. They found that really does go to our heads: our bodies produce more of certain hormones like oxytocin, commonly known as the 'love hormone'.

Read also: 9 useful tips to talk to someone you like

Making love

Having sex is also called 'making love' because it's such an important part of a romantic or intimate relationship. But love and sex aren't the same thing – you can have one without the other. Many people only have sex with someone they love, but you can also have sex out of lust – just for the pleasure of having sex. Still, most people find deeper pleasure in having sex with the person they love.

Read more about making love.

Did you learn something new?

Comments
Luckson H
Sat, 10/04/2014 - 07:54 pm
hi i hav understood frm your teaching,nw my stuation is lik this am in lov and nw my parter she is a bit far frm me i somtimes go and vist her but if a weak pass without seeng her or talk to her i keep on thinking about her what does this mean?
Love come in many dfferent form.the people you love are usually. The people you feel most hppy to be with. Whom you lyk to spent most tym with. The people who couldn't bear to lose. And the people you care about the most
Hi Kelvo, well, then you need to make sure that you make your feelings clear to them! You can't expect people to magically know it. Be brave, tell someone you like that your are interested in them! Good luck!
Hello Grace, I can imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking this is for you. Have you talked with him about this? Has he asked for forgiveness? Is he willing to change? Think about whether your relationship can go back to what it used to be, whether you forgive him and trust him and love him again. If not you will have a decision to make including walking away from this relationship. Check out the following article for more information. https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/knowing-when-to-break-up https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/relationship-problems/cheating

Hey Ebi, it is normal to feel the way  you are because you like this person and perhaps because you don't know if they feel the same way. However, the only way to get to know how she feels and if a girl is interested in a relationship is to be confident and tell her how you feel. Girls find confidence attractive, so be brave and tell the girl you like how you feel. You can also consider asking a mutual friend to introduce you if one does exist. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

Hi Kelvoh, Love is elusive. It is hard to describe but you know it when you feel it. The same goes for your partner, there is no way to know for sure but it’s a feeling. Trust your gut, you know more than you think. Just remember that everyone expresses and feels love a bit differently
Vinnie
Mon, 10/20/2014 - 11:07 pm
Hi,am in love with these lady whom i have dated 4 more than one year.we have sex several times but each time she demands goods from me.What can be the problem?
Hi Vinnie, it seems that sex for her is a transaction. You get her body but she gets something in return. You need to talk to her about this, if this is not what you want. In a consensual relationship, this shouldn't happen. So talk to her- what's going on, and what does the relationship mean to her?
Anonymous
Sat, 11/15/2014 - 06:08 am
I realy love my bf bt he has drifted away n wen i askd him if he is tired of me,he said that i shuld undrstand that he is in grief and give him time(he lost his uncle over a mnth n a half ago)could dat b da rsn or jus an excuse?
Shukri
Wed, 11/26/2014 - 08:07 pm
Am so inlove with some1 but am sacred of meeting him every time he asks me out i turn him down......i dono what to call what am feeling is it love or something els?
Hey Reagan, Approaching someone that you are attracted to can be difficult but you have to be brave and approach her. She will never to get to know how you feel unless you talk to her, you can consider having someone known to you both introduce you. Be brave. Have a look at this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date
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