Beautiful young African couple sitting close to each other and looking through a heart shape made with their fingers

Is love enough in a relationship?

Can a relationship survive only by love? Does love conquer all?

Let’s get some things out of the way first: love is a beautiful thing. Love is important in the world. Love is a gift. Love is great.

Love is an important element in any relationship. It is a powerful emotion and definitely an important ingredient to a happy relationship.

When you are loved by someone, you feel happy, safe, and connected. Love is definitely top of the list when it comes to qualities that contribute to a healthy relationship.

But,

Is love enough to sustain a relationship? The simple answer is NO. Sustaining a healthy relationship requires much more than that: love is not the only factor that matters in a relationship.

You can love someone and still not entertain their addictions, temper, immaturity, controlling behavior, abuse, disrespect, cheating, etc. 

First, understand that just because you love someone does not mean that they are going to love you back. The other person may not care enough or may not be invested enough in the relationship. This means that all the weight of that relationship is on your back. Regardless of how much you love them, you cannot do this for long and if you do, this will be a very one-sided and toxic relationship.  Every human being loves to feel appreciated. To be loved in a healthy way.

People have additional needs other than love and if those needs remain unmet, it becomes hard to sustain a relationship. Love without compatibility, loyalty, love without compromise, love without introspection, and self-improvement will never sustain a healthy relationship. Love is just an emotion or feeling and a lot of other needs in a relationship are logical. This means that both the heart and the mind are involved in a healthy relationship.

Two people can love each other and still see the world from different goals and ambitions in life. This gets even more difficult when the two people are in different stages of their lives and likely to have completely different priorities, especially on key things. It is not enough that you love someone since you also have to consider whether it’s someone you’d like to be in the long term. Compatibility is key and if it is not there, there are bound to be problems in that relationship.

What happens when your partner isn’t mature enough? When two people in a relationship are from different maturity levels, love may not be enough to overcome these differences. Emotional maturity is especially important since it helps us deal with difficult life events. An emotionally immature person may not handle relationship downs.

Love alone is not enough to help you solve relationship problems or major differences. Having intense love for your partner can mislead you into believing that you are overcoming issues just by professing love. You will be unable to resolve problems if each time you fight the solution is to tell each other how much you love your partner. Nothing gets resolved. Some of these problems are also irreconcilable. To some people, for instance, infidelity is an irreconcilable difference.

Finally, you can be in love with someone but you are not happy. It is alright and totally normal to want something or someone different in a relationship.

In conclusion,

Love is only enough if other aspects of a healthy relationship such as emotional maturity, compromise, and a sense of identity are there. Love is not sufficient to keep people together.

Let’s talk: Is love enough?

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LoveMatters Africa

Blush-free facts and stories about love, sex, and relationships