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(C) Love Matters | Rita Lino

Being in a relationship

The two of you flirted. You started dating. And then things got more serious: you agreed to be in a relationship.

What does this mean?

Being in a relationship can mean different things to different couples. It’s up to the two of you to decide which rules you are going to stick to. This is important because the honeymoon phase will eventually end, and all relationships will face issues at some point.

But even if things get difficult, remember that relationships are about love. And love is all about acceptance. Do keep this in mind whenever your relationship isn’t going so well: the reason you are with this person is love.

What’s important is to have a talk about your expectations. Because only if your partner understands what you expect from a relationship can your needs be met.

Communication

Even though you might not even give it much thought, communication is the number one thing when it comes to relationships.

We think we know how to communicate. But in relationships, especially when it comes to intimate issues, things can get very difficult very quickly.

In the beginning, you might even avoid voicing your thoughts for the fear of not being accepted. But such an approach will eventually backlash on you. Be yourself: if the other person doesn’t like you like this, you can’t fix it by pretending to be someone you’re not.

So establish how you would like to communicate early on; it will make things a lot easier in the long run.

Being faithful

To most people, being in a relationship means that you are ‘exclusive’ and faithful to each other.  

That can mean very different things to different couples. You will need to discuss what this means for you. For example, does it mean you can’t hang out with people you might be attracted to? Can’t you hug others anymore? Or is flirting okay – why eat chicken outside when you can have steak at home?

There are no firm rules. What’s important is that whatever you decide upon works for both of you – and that you’re being honest.

Read also: 8 signs you’re with the right partner

Trust and honesty

If you’re in a relationship, you should have a certain level of trust for each other. If you don’t think your partner is being honest with you, or you are not being honest with your partner, you need to decide whether you really want to be in a relationship.
A lack of trust will only lead to nagging and arguments. Which might eventually mean an end to your relationship.

Bring up any concerns you have as soon as they arise – the earlier you can resolve them, the better for your relationship.

Compromise

Relationships are all about give-and-take. Or, in other words: compromise. No relationship is ever without conflict or irritants. And if those arise, you need to talk to your partner and find a way that works for both of you.

Compromising can be difficult, or even painful. But if you want things to work out, sometimes giving in and being patient is the best thing to do.

Talking about the future

At some point in your relationship, you’ll need to discuss your views of the future. Do you see yourself getting married and having children? Perhaps your partner doesn’t. To avoid getting hurt and feeling like you’ve wasted your time, make sure you have this conversation.

Once again, being in a happy, satisfying and equal relationship all comes down to good communication. The more honest you are with each other, the better your chances of having a great relationship.

So let’s talk…

 

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Recent Comments (243)

  1. There in true love ipray…
    There in true love ipray 4them

        1. Hello Destiny, how can I…

          Hello Destiny, how can I help you?

          1. How can I make my…
            How can I make my relationship to last

          2. Am in relationship but I don…
            Am in relationship but I don’t know how to communicate with my partner

          3. Hello Zainab, thank you so…

            Hello Zainab, thank you so much for reaching out to us. We are so sorry to hear that you are having issues communicating. It is possible that you have different modes of communicating and if that is the case you need to sit down and decide on better ways of communication.

            This article should help you find ways to better communicate

            https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-communication-better-relationships

          4. Thank you for your feedback

            Thank you for your feedback

      1. Thank you for your…
        Thank you for your contribution.

    1. They seems like they are in…
      They seems like they are in a SRS true truly love

      1. Indeed you can enjoy a…
        Indeed you can enjoy a healthy relationship.

    2. How will you know if ur…
      How will you know if ur boyfriend loves you

      1. Hey Rahma, You could ask him…
        Hey Rahma, You could ask him how he feels about you. Also, how does he treat you when you spend time together? Does he show genuine concern toward you? If you feel his actions are confusing, find a good time and talk to your boyfriend. Share with him the concerns you may have so he can clarify what’s not clear to you.

    3. Hey guys I need a sugar mamie
      Hey guys I need a sugar mamie

      1. Hi am so serious assist me…
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        1. Hi Rancy, do inbox us on…

          Hi Rancy, do inbox us on Facebook on either Love Matters Kenya or Love Matters Naija and we shall be get back to you. 

      1. Hello, thank you for getting…

        Hello, thank you for getting in touch, how can we help you?

         

        1. Am into a relationship that…
          Am into a relationship that has last for 4yrs but his cheating on me
          I saw text he sent to a gel but when I ask him he said is just a text.. pls what should I do?

          1. Hi Precious, 

            So sorry for…

            Hi Precious, 

            So sorry for this. I know just how this feels! the suspicion and disappointment! First, ensure you are not overreacting especially if the nature of the text was not sexual at all or suggesting that something is going on. Find out if the girl he was texting is a colleague, cousin, or just a friend. 

            Second, the best things to do is to have an honest conversation with him and tell him that you consider texting other women as cheating. There are different forms of cheating and it is up to you and your partner to define what cheating is. While he may not have been involved in any sexual activity with that girl, if the texting makes you uncomfortable, make it known to him. Read this article to learn more about signs that he may be cheating: Signs of a cheating boyfriend. 

             

    4. Iknow something lathat can…
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      1. HI 🙂 what do you want to…

        HI 🙂 what do you want to learn?

    5. I need a serious…
      I need a serious relationship with any gud gal

      1. Hi Essy, you are most…

        Hi Essy, you are most welcome. We are always pleased to help.

      1. Yes, God will protect us all…

        Yes, God will protect us all and keep us all healthy.

  2. Love a just or games that…
    Love a just or games that everyone plays one another.

    1. Very simple game but,,risk…
      Very simple game but,,risk one

    2. Col dickson, its true dat love is agame says:

      Love is game and joy
      Love is game and joy

  3. What is love how do u know…
    What is love how do u know ur in love

    1. Hi Denis, Love is an intense…
      Hi Denis, Love is an intense feeling of deep affection towards another person. Love is warm, it is kind and patient. Love is forgiving. Love is a feel of a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone.

      Check this article for more information on what love is including how to tell if you are in-love;- https://lovematters.co.ke/resource/what-love

    2. because i feel like am with…
      because i feel like am with him

    3. Love is having strong…
      Love is having strong feelings to one anothr

      1. Thank you Luacas for your…
        Thank you Luacas for your contribution.

  4. How do u prove you lost love
    How do u prove you lost love

  5. Hi…am 17 i worry about…
    Hi…am 17 i worry about dating because i thnk am young am a dayscolar bt a well bhaved gal i’ve got some admirers bt am only friends with them bt it obvious at our age there are those feelings….so lovematters do u thnk it right for me to be in a relationship????

    1. Hi Vikki,…
      Hi Vikki,

      It is important for you to prioritize what you want to do in life. Relationships can be a challenge to manage especially when you also have school to think about. Take time and think about what is important for you now and focus your energies there. All the best.

    2. i lave your haert bt u dont…
      i lave your haert bt u dont wat me

      1. Hi Kameme, what do you mean?…
        Hi Kameme, what do you mean? You love someone who doesn’t love you back…

      1. Thank you for your…

        Thank you for your contribution Rancy,

    3. You are still too young to…
      You are still too young to be in a relationship focus on one thing

  6. You are still young bro,,for…
    You are still young bro,,for you to start love matters

    1. Thank you Alex for your…
      Thank you Alex for your contribution.

  7. am in a relationship. the…
    am in a relationship. the guy always tells me how much he loves me . but only calls me once in awhile .pliz help is this man true. ..?iwish to gve up

    1. Hey Irene,…
      Hey Irene,

      Communication is important for any relationship and especially when you are just starting out since this is when you are getting to know each other. Have you talked to him about this?

      It is important you express your expectations in the relationship an also allow him to express his own expectation in the relationship so that you are on the same page. Also, communication is two way, have you tried to initiate communication when you felt he was not… Find a good time and talk about this so that you ca agree on how to proceed. We wish you well. Check out the following article for more tips on communication. https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

      1. A friend of mine has same…
        A friend of mine has same issues with her man,no communication, he never has time for her,the only thing he thinks of is,his sch and work

        1. Spending quality time in a…

          Spending quality time in a relationship in addition to open and honest communication, is important since this is what helps the relationship to grow and become strong. It is important that your friend does talk with their partner to address this since not spending enough time together and communicating can lead to partners growing apart. You could share the following articles with your friend;-

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

          https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

    2. just show me for doing what
      just show me for doing what

    3. If only you love him all you…
      If only you love him all you need to do is to be faithful believe and trust in God he will not let you down

      1. Thank you Bright for your…

        Thank you Bright for your contribution and advice. 

  8. My question was can someone…
    My question was can someone rily fall in love in a app and start a serious relationship

  9. I asked my question already,…
    I asked my question already, kindly answer

    1. Hi Chenille, Where did you…
      Hi Chenille, Where did you post your question? You could still post it here and we shall be more than glad to respond to you.

  10. Pls my boyfriend is still in…
    Pls my boyfriend is still in touch with his ex galfrnds as in chatting wid them, they calling him and he also calling them which I hate to see him doing dat .what shd I do. Pls help me out.

    1. Hi Precious,…
      Hi Precious,

      It is important you talk to your boyfriend about this and how it makes you feel. If a relationship with an ex is not well managed it can interfere with ones current relationship. It is even possible to slip back into an intimate relationship with an ex. Talk to your partner about this so you can both decide how to proceed.

    1. Hey Lilah, What about true…
      Hey Lilah, What about true love?

        1. Thank you for the feedback…

          Thank you for the feedback Bright.

  11. Am in a relationship n we…
    Am in a relationship n we are planning to marry,my boyfriend is always busy during the day,wat scare mi is he do cal mi afta some couple of days, sometyms he is online bt he can’t text mi,.am very worried pliz advice.thanks

  12. My girlfriend likes sex very…
    My girlfriend likes sex very much and everytime she insists of visiting me but wen I refused she don’t wanna tok to me anymore and I fear she might do it with anyone else incase I refuse!

    1. Hi Collince, Is there a…
      Hi Collince, Is there a reason why you refuse to have sex with her when she visits or calls to visit? There is no way to tell but yes she may choose to be with someone else. Perhaps before that happens you need to talk about this and find a way forward that will work well for the both of you. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/making-love/ways-to-make-love/talking-about-sex

    1. Hi Gilbart, What can we do…
      Hi Gilbart, What can we do for you?

  13. How can I get a true love am…
    How can I get a true love am a God fearing person but I want a true

    1. There is someone waiting for…
      There is someone waiting for u

      1. Hello Emily, we appreciate…

        Hello Emily, we appreciate the encouragement. 

  14. My friend wants take my gal…
    My friend wants take my gal friend he told he destroyed my name to name
    And nw she nt picking my 4ne call wen she picks just ask wat do u want wen i tell her that i wana talk to she switch the 4ne n i call again she fails to pick

  15. Hey Edcom, So sorry about…
    Hey Edcom, So sorry about this. It is difficult to talk to a person who won’t talk to you or listen to you. There is little you can do if she has chosen to listen other people and not you. You have to let her go and move if she is unwilling to give you a chance to explain what she may have been told. Check out this article for tips on coping with a breakup;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  16. here am Steve …living in…
    here am Steve …living in kilifi county .malindi city..am working with umoja rubber company ..Mombasa .I was in a date with agirl.called Debra-keltah.living in Bungoma right now she’s in Nairobi …our friend was came unexpectedly. we met through Facebook. 3months later now.we talk ..texing ..through inbox..after afew time Debra decided to come Mombasa to our MIT’s.isend money to this girl 1300sh “ticket”after 2days she texting me that she now ready to come it was 6th Feb…7:45am.I decide to wait her ..BT right something unhappy to me from that time she doesn’t pic ma call..even rply ma text ..12days now ..and her phn is still ringing ..how iwll do.??

  17. Hi Steven, So sorry about…
    Hi Steven, So sorry about this. It is clear that she will not be visiting you Malindi. There is no way to tell what could have changed or if she was even interested in the relationship. Online dating can be challenging and sending money to the other person may not be a good idea. It is important to take things slow as you get to know each other. Check out this article;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/meeting-someone/online-dating-dos-and-donts

  18. I had a gal whom i dated 4…
    I had a gal whom i dated 4 the last 4yrs when we separated i had never had feelings for another gal what can be the problem

    1. Hello Williamson, Moving on…

      Hello Williamson, Moving on after a breakup can be challenging especially if you were together for a long period of time like in your case. The reason for breaking up can also make moving on challenging and even how you broke up. It is however important to come to terms with the fact that the relationship didn’t work and take steps even small steps toward moving on. It takes time to move on but with time one does eventually move on. It is however important that you take steps to move on. We wish you well. Check out this article with tips on how to cope with a break up;- https://lovematters.co.ke/love-relationships/breaking-up/coping-with-a-break-up

  19. Are fights normal in a…
    Are fights normal in a relationship? I think we fight and disagree too much I feel like taking a break. Should I take a break from him?

    1. Hey Tessy, fights are really…

      Hey Tessy, fights are really not a normal part of a relationship, but partners do differ on different issues in the course of the relationship. How partners address the disagreements is what makes the greater difference. It is important that partners try not talk about an issue when they are angry at each other, relationships are about communication which means both talking and listening to the other person. Take sometime and talk about where these fights maybe coming from so that together you can agree on how to address the identified issues. 

      Have a look at how partners can disagree constructively;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/fighting-dos-and-donts   We wish you well. 

  20. I have a guy who really…
    I have a guy who really loves me and he does everything when I ask he gives, lakini I don’t love him at all. I am in-love with another who does nothing for me. Can you help me love him because I don’t want to loose him.

    1. Hey Stl, we are not able to…

      Hey Stl, we are not able to help you love the person you don’t love. This is a decision only you can make. Take sometime and think about what you want for a partner, now and infuture and the choose the person that best represents what you want. After you have chosen one you will have to break up with the one you didn’t choose. The truth is you can’t have them both and eventually you will have to loose one or even both. Take sometime, think about this and then make a decision. We wish you well.

  21. I met this girl at a party…
    I met this girl at a party last holiday. We chatted and enjoyed each other’s company. She is really pretty and easy to be around. I really felt an attraction and haven’t stopped thinking about her. I want to ask her out but I am afraid that she may not be interested in me like I am interested in her. I fear rejection and would rather not ask her if there is any chance she will reject me. I don’t know what to do ?

    1. Hi Tito, there is really no…

      Hi Tito, there is really no way to tell whether she will reject or accept your request other than by asking her. The risk of rejection is real but also if you did enjoy each others company when you met it may also mean that there is a real chance she may be willing to go out with you. You have to think about whether this is a risk you are willing to take. The trust is you will never know if you don’t ask, take time and when you are ready talk to her to find out if she will be willing to go out with you. We wish you well. Check out the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date 

  22. Can dating a colleague work?…
    Can dating a colleague work? I moved to a new town to set up a regional office with other new staff. There is this one lady I have been spending alot of time as we set up. She is a very nice person, full of life and beautiful too. I don’t know her relationship status, we get along very well and I really like her. I am thinking of asking her, can this work or I risk messing our work relationship?

  23. he claims he loves me but…
    he claims he loves me but spends weeks without calling or texting me.the last tym it told him i love him he said”thenx for loving me” plz help am confused

    1. Hey Cecy, have you talked to…

      Hey Cecy, have you talked to him about this? It is important that you raise this concerns with him so you can get to know what is going on. A lack of communication in a relationship leads to partners to grow apart. Find a good time and talk with your partner, get to know what is going on and whether he loves you and is still interested in the relationship. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  24. I have a galfriend who I don…
    I have a galfriend who I don’t understand what she want she is in college we avent had sex as of now I want to know if she loves mie .how can I now?

  25. I spend the weekend with my…
    I spend the weekend with my girlfriend and we ended up fighting I just had to walkout on her even though it was my place. I don’t think we compatible at all. What should I do?

  26. Hi Steven, it’s unfortunate…

    Hi Steven, it’s unfortunate that this happened. It is important that you have an honest conversation about what your expectations are in a partner and in a relationship. This will help you decide on how to proceed with the relationship. While it’s common for partners to have disagreements how they choose to address the disagreements is what makes the difference. Start by addressing this recent disagreement, find a good time and talk about the issues that lead to the disagreement. Check out the following article for more information;- 

    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/fighting-dos-and-donts

    https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

     

  27. I am looking for someone to…
    I am looking for someone to date.

    1. Hey Simeon, unfortunately we…

      Hey Simeon, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meat someone.

  28. Do long distance…
    Do long distance relationships really work? I am in one and just about to give up. Help!

    1. Hey Ess, Long distance…

      Hey Ess, Long distance relationships can be challenging but yes they do work. This is however depended on the commitment of both partners and their willingness to make it work. It is important that partners communicate regularly, talk about and plan for the future, visit and spend time together from time to time and lastly that they both try and focus on the positives out of the relationship and not negatives. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  29. Am in love wid aguy,we’ve…
    Am in love wid aguy,we’ve met ad I love him so much,weneva I kals him we tok BT I HV feelings although we’ve bin rlship 4 6 months,,naogopa kumwambia nko n feelings,nifanyaje????

    1. Hey Olivia, if you are in…

      Hey Olivia, if you are in love with him you need to tell him how you feel. There is no way to tell how he feels other than telling him how you feel and getting to know how he feels toward you. Find a good time to talk with him. Also, think about how this will affect your current relationship and be prepared since he may not feel the same and if this is the case you will have to respect his choice. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

  30. I have a friend which is my…
    I have a friend which is my gal friend, if I invited her to come she will not come ,and every one to two days she will request for money from me what I suppose to do?

    1. Hey Joe, have you talked to…

      Hey Joe, have you talked to her about this? Have you told her why it is you want her to come? It is important you talk about this relation and share with each other what you want in a relationship and from a partner. This will help you agree on whether or not to keep the relationship. Find a good time and talk about this. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  31. I am married and I think my…
    I am married and I think my husband is not happy about our relationship. How can you make sure he is husband is happy give me some tips?

    1. Hi NN, Have you talked to…

      Hi NN, Have you talked to him about this? A good place to begin is to find out what would make him happy, talk about what are his expectations in the relationship as you also share what your expectations are. It may also help to share with him what you have observed so you can find a way to address the issues. Check out the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/jealousy-and-other-problems

  32. How can I keep my partner…
    How can I keep my partner happy in our relationship? We have been dating for about 7 months uptill now.

    1. Hi Bryan, it may help to…

      Hi Bryan, it may help to begin by getting to know what your partner’s expectations are in you as her partner and in the relationship you have. This will help you be better and also have the kind of relationship you both want. It is also important to ensure that you have open and honest communication, which helps to ensure you address any issues when they come without hurting each other or the relationship. Have a look at the following for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  33. Someone has asked to date…
    Someone has asked to date but he will leave the country for further studies in a few months for 4 years. Can this relationship workout?

    1. Hi Liz, making a long…

      Hi Liz, making a long distance relationship work can be challenging and this is why it is important to take time and think about this before getting into one. However, if the partners are committed they can make it work. It is important to communicate frequently using the different methods, plan to spend time together as resources may allow and talk and plan about the future of your relationship. Find a good time and talk openly and honestly about what the long distance relationship will mean for you both and then make an informed choice. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/long-distance-relationships-dos-and-donts

  34. I was a date some days ago…
    I was a date some days ago. we were both happy about the date and we planned another right after but now I can reach the girl. She is not responding to my texts she is also not picking my calls. what did i do wrong?

    1. Hi Goddy, do you mean you…

      Hi Goddy, do you mean you are not able to reach her? There is no way to tell what you may have done wrong or if you did anything wrong. You seem to have both enjoyed your time together based on your assessment. It however appears that your date may have had a different view or maybe she just feels you maybe moving too fast. I suggest you give her sometime before trying to reach out again. If she chooses not to respond to you, you will have to respect her choice. Not all dates progress to relationship, but also just because one didn’t progress doesn’t mean that your next one won’t. Keep trying eventually you will meet someone who will be willing to have a relationship with you. We wish you all the best.

  35. I have been chatting with…
    I have been chatting with this guy I met on facebook. We do video call call most of the time. He say he has fallen for me and he want to come to Kenya to meet me and taken the relationship even. Do relationships that started on social media work?

  36. I like two girls who are…
    I like two girls who are friends I have been going out on dates with both of them. I want to be with only one of them but I don’t know how to choose?

    1. Hey Chris, you need to take…

      Hey Chris, you need to take sometime and think about what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Than think about who best represents what you want. You have to then break up with the person you do not wish to be with and commit to the one you want to be with. All the best. Check out the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/breaking-up/how-to-break-up

  37. Tactics for a approaching a…
    Tactics for a approaching a girl for dating

    1. Hi there, Reaching out to…

      Hi there, Reaching out to people that you are attracted to can be difficult because of the fear of being rejected. However, they are no different than how would approach a friend, family or other person. The initial hello and coming up with small talk is the same idea except the person is front of you is attractive. Tell them who you are, why you approached them (they said something smart, they like the same team, you find them attractive etc) and then build the conversation from there. Tell them about yourself, and ask questions about them. You are attracted to them and ideally as you learn more about them you will become interested in them. Everyone has nerves and the girls know that. They will be flattered that you even tried to reach out and talk. Check out the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

  38. I strongly feel to have sex…
    I strongly feel to have sex with a certain girl does this mean I am in love with her?

  39. Why are relationships so…
    Why are relationships so hard??? I feel like quiting right now!

  40. Is it possible for a girl to…
    Is it possible for a girl to love a man and at the same time love a girl? How? I thought you can only love a guy or a girl.

  41. How can u be know that the…
    How can u be know that the guy really loves me

    1. Dear Elizabeth, you could…

      Dear Elizabeth, you could ask him how he feels towards you. There are a few other things to look at when you spend time with him, for instances, when he talks about the future does he include you in the future? Does he always want to spend lots of time with you and is saying goodbye always difficult? It is important to however talk to him, especially if his actions are not clear. 

  42. I am looking for someone…
    I am looking for someone purely for sex. Has to be a woman not interested in relationship… Can you get me someone Love matters?

    1. Hello Renson, unfortunately…

      Hello Renson, unfortunately we are not a dating service and for this reason we are not able to help you meet someone. 

  43. In love with this group
    In love with this group

    1. Awww, we love you right back…

      Awww, we love you right back Precious and welcome to Love Matters Africa.

    1. Hey Goodnex, we hope this…

      Hey Goodnex, we hope this was useful to you.

  44. He claims he loves me but…
    He claims he loves me but spends many days without calling or texting me. He doesn’t even say hes loves me, when I say I love him he says thanks. I am confused?

    1. Hey Silvia, have you talked…

      Hey Silvia, have you talked with him about this? Communication is an important part of any relationship. It is important that you talk about this with your partner, let him know what the lack of communication is doing to you and your relationship. If you are not sure about how he feels toward you do find out from him. Sometimes a partner needs to be show how to love or show love. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

  45. My boyfriend always make me…
    My boyfriend always make me unhappy each time I ask him for something as a girl ask from his bf de only thing he will tell me DAT he done not have money for 1yr DAT we have date now he keeps telling me DAT so wat will I do now

    1. Hey Rose, is there any…

      Hey Rose, is there any reason that makes you feel that he has the money but doesn’t want to give you when you ask? Money is important even in a relationship and the lack of it can present problems in a relationship. It is important that you talk with your partner about this so that together you can agree on a solution moving forward. 

    1. Dear Elizabeth, did you have…

      Dear Elizabeth, did you have a comment? Keep reading our articles for more. 

  46. i’m in a relationship with a…
    i’m in a relationship with a girl and we love each other even i’m planning to marry her but she is in form one and i’m in form four bt the girl started douting me that i have another one and she is serious to me, what can i do to her?

    1. Hi Nicholas, don’t you think…

      Hi Nicholas, don’t you think it is too early to start thinking about a relationship and marriage when you could be focusing on preparing for your final exams especially because she is just in form one? I suggest that you focus on your academic work for now and leave issues about relationship and a marriage for a later time. Relationships, as you may already experienced, are emotionally exhausting and this is likely to affect your academic performance and the girl. In due time, you will be both ready for a relationship after successful completion of your academics. 

  47. Those who fell in love I…
    Those who fell in love I wish them gud luck

  48. I like a girl but I dont…
    I like a girl but I dont know how to her for a relationship I fear she might say no?

    1. Hey Xavier, if you like…

      Hey Xavier, if you like someone the right thing to do is to tell them how you feel. There is no way to know how they are going to respond other than telling them how you feel. The truth is they maybe interested or not and you’ll have to respect her choice. Be brave and tell her how you feel. Remember, girls find confidence attractive. We wish you all the best. Check out this article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/dont-sweat-over-asking-someone-out

    1. Hey Christopher, what can we…

      Hey Christopher, what can we do for you?

  49. A friend of mine linked me…
    A friend of mine linked me up
    With someone. Me and the new person started talking but I observed that he is a person of little words ,he is only made to talk if asked questions or motivated to.. Thee is so much I am already expecting but I am not getting that response and feedback Friom him.. Pls how should I communicate

    1. Hey Caroline, you seem to…

      Hey Caroline, you seem to have different personalities and this is okay. All you need is to find a balance that both of you will appreciate. One way could be finding out what you both like or are interested in, since these are topics that are likely to elicit excitement and get your partner to talk alittle bit more. Recognizing your differences in personality is important toward having a fulfilling relationship. Lastly, is this the kind you of a partner you want or you would prefer a more out going person? Think about it. https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

    1. Thank you for the feedback…

      Thank you for the feedback Chiziterem.

  50. I m looking for a girl to…
    I m looking for a girl to love and marry. Gove me links,,,

    1. Hello George, We are not a…

      Hello George, We are not a dating service and for this reason we are unable to help you meet someone. We wish you well. 

  51. I love To be in a better…
    I love To be in a better lovein

    1. Hey Jediva, we appreciate…

      Hey Jediva, we appreciate your contribution.

  52. How do I no if my boyfriend…
    How do I no if my boyfriend really love me?

    1. Hey Hajarat, you could begin…

      Hey Hajarat, you could begin by asking him how he feels. Also, when you spend time together does he share his deepest feelings with you, does he include you in his future when he talks about and is it always had to say good bye? These can be signs of how he really feel toward you. It is important however, to as and get to know from him how he feels toward you. Check this out;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/does-true-love-still-exist

  53. How do you convince a girl…
    How do you convince a girl you are dating to have sex with you?

    1. Hey Caleb, the decision to…

      Hey Caleb, the decision to have sex is a big decision since there are a number of things to consider including whether you are with the right person, whether it is the right time and how to prevent unplanned pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections. This is why this is a very personal decision. All you need to do is share your feelings with your girlfriend to see if they feel the same as you. If she is not ready to have sex at this point, you will have to respect her choice and wait till she fells ready for it. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/how-soon-is-too-soon

  54. tell how to ask a girl out…
    tell how to ask a girl out for a date?

    1. Hey Chris, if you like…

      Hey Chris, if you like someone and you are interested in going on a date with them, you have to ask them. The way to do it is to be brave, tell the girl how you feel and ask her out on that date. Girls find confidence attractive, so go on be confident and tell how you feel ask you ask her out. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

  55. My friends told me DAT my…
    My friends told me DAT my boyfriend was chatting on me and I went through his message and saw the messages the girl send to him and the replies wen I asked him he got angry and said I shouldn’t hv gone to that extent and he said he wants to end the relationship. Pls I don’t know what to do help me,was I wrong by doing that?

    1. Hey Vivian, I am not able to…

      Hey Vivian, I am not able to tell you whether this was wrong or right, however, your partner wasn’t happy about it. Did these texts means anything to you? Do you still want to be with him? If he wants to end things, all you can do is to apologize and hope this will be enough for him to forgive you. If he however, chooses not to forgive you, you will have to respect his choice and move on as well. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/signs-of-a-cheating-boyfriend 

  56. I love my partner so much…
    I love my partner so much and I know he Love’s me , but one thing DAT is confusing me is DAT we quarry too much, and he keep on making me get angry,and when I gat angry I nagg

    1. Hi Naomi, what do you…

      Hi Naomi, what do you quarrel about? It is normal for partner in a relationship to have disagreements from time to time, it is however how they choose to solve the issues that makes a difference. It is important that you find a good time to talk about this constant quarrels especially because these may indicate a deep seated dissatisfaction in the relationship. Do talk about it so that you can find out what is causing the fights. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/relationship-problems/fighting-dos-and-donts 

  57. I THINK THIS MAN IS NATURALY…
    I THINK THIS MAN IS NATURALY POLYGAMOUS HE CAN’T LET ANY GIRL GO. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO?

  58. I am usbke to hold on to…
    I am unble to hold on to arelationship for more than 1 year. I dont what the problem is I need help.

    1. Hello Tina, it is difficult…

      Hello Tina, it is difficult to tell what could be the problem. You could however, take sometime and think about what led to the break up of your past relationships and identify some common factors that you can work on in future. Communication that is open and honest is one of the essentials of a good relationship. It helps partners to address issues when they come up. It is also important to talk about each others expectations early in the relationship so that it is clear to each. We wish you all the best in your future relationships. Have a look at the following article for additional tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/keeping-a-relationship-strong-dos-donts

  59. How Can i no that am in love…
    How Can i no that am in love with someone

  60. There is a guy I like I…
    There is a guy I like I think he likes me too but he is too slow he is taking too.much time to ask me for a date. Can I ask.him instead or it will make him think I am cheap and desperate?

    1. Hi Grace, there is nothing…

      Hi Grace, there is nothing wrong with you asking him out if you like him. Infact it means you are strong enough to approach him and ask him out. So, go on, if you like him do let him know this is the only way you will get to know how he feels toward you. Remember, he not feel the the same as you and if this is the case you will have to respect his choice. Have a look at the following article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/meeting-someone/how-to-date

  61. Hi, thanks for those tips…
    Hi, thanks for those tips. Very useful for my relationship now.

    1. You are welcome Rene. We are…

      You are welcome Rene. We are glad you found this article useful. 

  62. If u are dating someone and…
    If u are dating someone and u give him ur time ur body and he ask for money u give him.what is that call? Is that love to

    1. Hey Fatima, you seem in love…

      Hey Fatima, you seem in love since there is nothing t=you can’t give them. I am not able to tell you if they love you back. But if you have doubts about their love or commitment and love toward you, it is important that you talk with them about your concerns, this will give him a chance to clarify anything that is not clear to you. All the best. 

  63. how do i no if my boo is in…
    how do i no if my boo is in love with me

    1. Hey Tosin, you could ask…

      Hey Tosin, you could ask them how they feel toward you. Also, by spending time with them and observing how they treat you. For instance, if they always want to spend lots of alone time with you and is saying good bye is always hard, do they talk about the future and include you in the future? These can be signs that they love you. If you are however unsure about how they feel toward you, do ask them to clarify. All the best. 

  64. Discuss your expectations of…
    Discuss your expectations of each other

    1. Thank you for your…

      Thank you for your contribution Jon.

  65. Hi am in a relationship bt…
    Hi am in a relationship bt dont take it serious bcus he do ask for sex everytime, does dat mean he loves me nd moreover he dont knows his right.

    1. Hello Tosin, thank you for…

      Hello Tosin, thank you for reaching out to us. Although sex is a great way to express intimacy, it is not the only way. People express their love in different ways. They also want to be intimate in different ways. If you want to have more sex, talk to him and let him know. Communication is vital in a relationship. This article has some useful pointers on how to have that conversation.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/talking-about-sex-dos-and-donts

  66. I have been in a…
    I have been in a relationship with my galfrnd and we have been playing sex now and then,,,,, the shocking thing is that she has not get pregnant,,, where could be the problem?? Plz help

  67. This is so touching it…
    This is so touching it really heat me up like never read any relationship writing befo

    1. Thank you for your input,…

      Thank you for your input, Gbenjo 🙂

    1. Thank you for your feedback…

      Thank you for your feedback Patricia! 

  68. I met a girl online and we…
    I met a girl online and we got to love each other very much ..we planned a date to meet catered for transport but failed to show up..she apologized and I forgave her but I feel like I don’t love her even if now she is so much loving ad pleading with m not to leave her..help please

    1. Hi Joakim. It is normal for…

      Hi Joakim. It is normal for feelings to change. The best thing to do is to let them know so that they are not hanging around waiting for something that might not happen.

  69. Wonderful site love matters…
    Wonderful site love matters,keep it up

    1. Thank you so much Elisha 🙂

      Thank you so much Elisha 🙂

  70. Hi am new please how can you…
    Hi am new please how can you know if u bf really Love’s you

    1. Hi Roseline, welcome to Love…

      Hi Roseline, welcome to Love Matters Africa. You have asked a really good question. Love presents in different ways. We all have love Languages. These are ways in which we express love for our loved ones. These love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

      This article has more information on these love languages and how they present. Go through it and let us know if you still have any questions.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/do-you-speak-the-right-language-when-it-comes-to-love

  71. Yap communication that the…
    Yap communication that the one i was loking so much dhakns Lot????????

    1. We are very pleased to help.

      We are very pleased to help.

  72. Hey Edetpaul, thank you for…

    Hey Edetpaul, thank you for getting in touch, how can we help you? 

  73. I have a boyfriend I love…
    I have a boyfriend I love him but he is just too jealous he beat me if he get to know I have someone asking me out but at a stage he changed when he saw I was actually going to live him alone then I met a guy I thinks we love each other but the problem is the guy seems to know my boyfriend what do you think I should do

    1. Hello Tomi, thank you for…

      Hello Tomi, thank you for reaching out to us and we are sorry you are going through a hard time. The decision is really up to you. Take time to consider what the options mean for you. How would your decision affect you? What do you desire for yourself and your future?

  74. I have being dating my…
    I have being dating my boyfriend for two years now and I think I don’t love him anymore because he is a jealous type. I came in contact with a guy I seems to fall in love with the problem I have is that the guy stays not to far from my boyfriend don’t know what to do right now

    1. Hi Tomi, thank you for…

      Hi Tomi, thank you for reaching out to us and we are sorry you are going through a hard time. What do you feel you should do?

  75. I have issues with my man he…
    I have issues with my man he always lie to me each time and blame me for everything I always give him my time every time he needs me even when am busy I always put him fist but to him he do the opposite what should I do

    1. Hi Judie, thank you so much…

      Hi Judie, thank you so much for reaching out to us. We are sorry you are going through such a hard time.
      Communication is an important part of any relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Explain how their actions are affecting you and the relationship. Try not to be confrontational because that would put them on the defensive and the resulting conversation would not be productive.  Be ready to listen to their fears and feelings and respond to them as well.
      This article has some pointers that could help you learn how to better communicate.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/better-

  76. I tried. My guy saw it as…
    I tried. My guy saw it as nagging and he thought I was all about my feelings. Love sucks

    1. Hello Amake, thank you for…

      Hello Amake, thank you for reaching out to us. There is no joining fee or joining requirement. To access the group just press on the join button on our Facebook Group. You can also visit our website to find more information on love, sex and relationships.
      https://lovemattersafrica.com/

  77. God blesd you our teacher..
    God blesd you our teacher..

  78. I have really enjoyed the…
    I have really enjoyed the talk, its so educating

    1. We are so glad to hear this…

      We are so glad to hear this. Please feel free to look through the website to find other articles that you may find of help.

  79. can you improvise me with…
    can you improvise me with some questions to ask my man just for reference,coz i feel he is a serios guy. so sometimes want to ask the guy some questions but then i fail due to lack of appropiate questions plz help me

  80. Hi Ricky, thank you for…

    Hi Ricky, thank you for getting in touch. What kind of questions would you like to ask him? 

  81. Thank you for sharing Alex.

    Thank you for sharing Alex.

  82. Hi guys i have my fiancee bt…
    Hi guys i have my fiancee bt she shys me alot please help

  83. Hi Ngave, thank you for…

    Hi Ngave, thank you for getting in touch and asking a great question. We’re not born with the talking and listening skills we need to be good at communication, but everyone can learn to become better a communicator. Click here to find out more on how to talk to your partner: https://lovemattersafrica.com/love-relationships/happy-relationships/tips-for-talking-to-your-partner

    We hope this information helps! Have a festive season ahead and let us know if it helps! Stay safe!

  84. How can I get a sugar mummy
    How can I get a sugar mummy

    1. Hi James, 

      Glad you liked…

      Hi James, 

      Glad you liked it. Keep it here for more informative content!

  85. I have a girl who is older…
    I have a girl who is older than me and she love me so much but my family member advice me. To look for another one and what should I do???

    1. Hi Kosh, 

      Did your family…

      Hi Kosh, 

      Did your family member advise you to leave your girl because she is older than you? If yes, this is not a reason to break up with someone. In the end, the most important thing is that both of you love each other and that you are happy. You are the best person to make the decision on whether the girl is the right partner for you. 

    1. Hi Esther, 

      Yes, let’s talk…

      Hi Esther, 

      Yes, let’s talk. Ask us any questions or share your views. 

  86. Hi, my partner can stay a…
    Hi, my partner can stay a whole week without asking how am doing, when together he do show emotional feeling no kissing, no hugging but says he want to marry me. Is he ok? coz he never said to me ‘i love you’

    1. Hi Ann, 

      Two things: It…

      Hi Ann, 

      Two things: It could be that your partner prefers to talk to you once a week. Some people are like that. They are not very good at showing emotion like saying ‘I love you.’ However, how they treat you says a lot about how they feel towards you. The second thing is that have you ever tried to set the pace of how you like to be treated? This means calling him more than once a week. In some cases, you have to show people how you like to be treated. Do not keep quiet while expecting him to read your mind. 

      Note that, if you have not told him how you feel about his communication patterns could mean that he thinks you’re okay with it. Talk to him, if he loves and cares for your feelings, you two will reach an agreement on how to communicate better. 

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