So much to know, so little time: talking about sex and being in a relationship can be hard. We’ve put the Love ABCs together, for you to become a pleasure and love pro.
Asexuality: Did you know not everyone is interested in sex? Asexual people have little or no sexual feelings and attraction towards others and aren’t interested in sexual activity. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have romantic feelings for others.
Bisexual: Spread the love! If you are emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually attracted to people of your gender and other genders, you might be a bisexual person.
Condoms: Putting on a condom can make foreplay more exciting! And they work great to protect yourself from unintended pregnancies and STIs while making love.
Doggy style: A great sex position to keep the excitement going and going and going… It’s perfect for clitoral stimulation with your hands. This is how it works: one partner kneels and while the other stimulates the genitals, chest/breasts or anus from behind. It also becomes the go-to position for couples wanting to have anal sex.
Erogenous zones: It’s not just the genitals that enjoy being touched – explore your partner’s body to find out where and how to touch them to get the pleasure fires burning.
Foreplay: Foreplay gets you in the mood for sex – it’s turning up the heat and ensures that everybody is ready for what’s coming next. Sometimes, sex ends with foreplay; and sometimes, there’s no foreplay. No problem at all, as long as everybody is on board. Link to foreplay –
Gay: Gay means happy! Gay can also mean that you are a man and you are emotionally, sexually and/or romantically attracted to other men, you are probably a gay man. Gay? How gay!
Heterosexual: And, of course, you can also be happy if you are emotionally, sexually and/or romantically attracted to people of opposite gender, like a man attracted to women. That would make a heterosexual person. We also call that straight.
Intimacy: Intimacy is so much more than sex! It can be a lot of things, from holding hands to leaving a cute note to intercourse. And what it means to you can be different from what it means to other people.
Just good friends: Sometimes, you are just good friends, without being sexually interested in each other. That’s okay – friends are super-important! Just make sure that everybody involved understands this is just friendship.
Kissing: Kissing is a language of its own. Are the kisses gentle, sweet, and caring, or are they urgent and hungry? Your partner might be telling you something with their kisses!
Lesbian: If you are a woman and you are sexually, emotionally, and/or romantically attracted to other women, you are probably a lesbian woman. Sometimes, lesbian women are also called ‘gay’.
Menstruation: Periods are totally normal, and there is nothing dirty about them – many women will menstruate once a month after they reach puberty. And periods don’t have to stand in the way of making love.
‘No’: No is all about consent: agreeing to have sex, or even kissing, cuddling, and hanging out. Consent can be taken away at any time. Someone who is underage, drunk or doesn’t know what they are saying yes to can’t ever give consent. Sex can only be fun and enjoyable if everyone says ‘YES’!
Orgasm: Ohhhh… Ahhhh… Wow! Sex should be about two (or more) people enjoying themselves. This can include orgasms – but it doesn’t have to!
Penis: Penises are great, but sometimes, they cause insecurities, especially when they don’t look huge. But all penises are great, whether they are small or large, thick or thin, straight or curved. Don’t worry, your penis is totally normal!
Queer: This is an umbrella term to describe people who don’t identify as heterosexual (straight) or who don’t consider themselves as male or female. It’s often used instead of the term LGBT and its many variations.
Relationship: Relationships, just like people, come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Don’t be upset because yours doesn’t conform with other people’s ideas of what a relationship should look like. If everyone involved in the relationship is happy, all is good!
Sexual diversity: Everybody is different: their bodies, who they love, and how they identify. That’s great and we should embrace differences instead of being scared of them.
Trans: An umbrella term describing a range of gender identities, beyond male and female. This often includes transmen and transwomen but in some cases even agender people.
Ursusagalmatophilia: U-what?! Ursusagalmatophilia means having a fetish for and getting sexually aroused by teddy bears. Don’t confuse it with plushophilia, the love for all stuffed animals. Cuddle away – we won’t judge!
Virginity: What virginity means differs across countries and cultures. That sometimes makes it hard for you to figure out what it means. Often, people consider someone who hasn’t had intercourse yet a virgin.
Was it good for you? Sex should be all about pleasure for everyone involved. That’s why you should be asking ‘was it good for you?’ and see if your partner has any suggestions on making it even better for them – so next time, you can ask ‘was it amazing for you?’
XXX: XXX often stands for porn. And while some people think of porn as dirty, choosing a porn movie (or other erotica) you and your partner enjoy together can be great foreplay or give you inspiration for a hot, steamy night.
Your rights: Everybody has rights: young people, women, sexual and gender minorities, disabled people – everybody! And that includes the rights to make your own, informed choices about having sex and having children, what we call sexual and reproductive health rights.
Zzz: Make sure you use your bed for more than just getting it on! When you get enough sleep your body is healthier, your mind sharper and you succeed in your relationship and job.
Do you like your Love ABC? Share it with your friends and spread the love!
If you have any questions about love, sex, and relationships, have a chat with our discussion board moderators who can help you out.