Oral sex: do's and don'ts
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Oral sex: do’s and don’ts

Oral sex is fun — on it’s own or as part of foreplay. It makes some women reach an orgasm easier than during intercourse. And there are few men who don’t enjoy getting head. Want to give it a try? Just stick to these do’s and don’ts!

  • …take a shower first

    Some people say they don’t like the idea of oral sex because it doesn’t seem hygienic. And yes, the idea of going down on someone who hasn’t had a bath or shower in weeks is kind of gross. But honestly, where does this happen? If you and your partner shower regularly, there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

    And if you are still not sure: start by taking a bath together or catch your partner on the way out of the shower. Can’t get any cleaner than that!

  • … vary your technique

    Oral sex is all about licking and sucking. But there are many different ways to lick and suck! You can do it gently or a bit rougher, slowly and teasingly or faster. You can focus just on the tip of the penis or the clitoris, or on the entire area.

    Let your tongue flutter or stroke evenly. You can even nibble very gently. Or suck on a man’s testicles. Or use your hands and fingers as well.

    If your partner is about to have an orgasm, keep doing what you are doing. Abruptly changing your technique can be a real turn-off.

    There aren’t any limits to oral sex, as long as your partner and yourself are enjoying what you are doing. And you will hear and see if they are enjoying it!

  • … try 69

    Position 69 is also called simultaneous oral sex, which means you and your partner are pleasuring each other at the same time. It can be a huge turn-on, if you pay attention to a few things.

    The easiest way to do it is her on all fours, facing his feet, while he is lying on his back. And then get to it! Do give back though – if your partner is hitting all the right spots, it can be hard to remember that the 69 is all about the give and take. But don’t be concerned if it gets too exciting to focus on two things at once – your hands and fingers can take over for a while!

    One warning for the ladies: if you are about to orgasm, your mouth needs to let go of his penis. Otherwise, your steamy night could end at the emergency room!

  • … forget to use protection

    Michael Douglas and his claim that he got throat cancer because of oral sex and HPV made the headlines lately. But that’s pretty unlikely. Living a healthy life and having a functional immune system mean there is little risk of getting cancer from oral sex, experts say.

    That said, there is a chance of getting STDs through oral sex. By using a condoms on a man or a dental dam on a woman, you can make oral sex safe. And safe is more enjoyable because you don’t have to worry about getting an STD!

  • … do it if you don’t want to

    If you’re not into oral sex, that’s fine. Don’t do it then. Don’t force yourself to do it, just because your partner likes, or worse, demands it. Oral sex is only fun if both partners enjoy it.

    So if you say ‘no’, your partner should accept that. And the other way around.

    If not getting oral sex is a big issue for one of you, take some time away from the bedroom and talk about it. Try to find out why it’s such a turn-off and see if there’s anything the two of you can do together to make it enjoyable.

    One word of advice though: it’s not fair to refuse to give your partner oral pleasure if you want them to go down on you.

  • … believe the myths

    There are plenty of myths and misconceptions about oral sex. But if you use protection, there’s nothing you should fear. You can’t get pregnant or have irregular periods from oral sex, and no, sperm is not a natural teeth whitener. Funnily enough, some people also say that oral sex can’t give you orgasms. They have clearly never tried it!

    And lastly, swallowing some condom lubricant while giving safe oral sex is also nothing to worry about, it’s not unhealthy. You can even make it more enjoyable by using flavored condoms.

     

    Have you got a tip to add to the list? Leave a comment here or on Facebook.

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Recent Comments (110)

  1. I luv it, u pple r actually
    I luv it, u pple r actually doing a wonderful job

    1. Thank you so much, Mike! We
      Thank you so much, Mike! We are so happy to hear that! Have you found us on Facebook yet?

  2. Thnxs alot wth thi.
    Thnxs alot wth thi. Information

    1. Hi George,

      Hi George,
      you are most welcome!

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      do you like oral sex or the article :-)?

      1. Both. But after reading the
        Both. But after reading the artical, love oral sex even more.

  3. I truly like oral sex, and i
    I truly like oral sex, and i commend this if only i could be recieving such or more better than this directly in my inbox <3

    1. Hi Efenedo,

      Hi Efenedo,
      we are working on it 🙂
      Have you found us on Facebook yet?

  4. thnx 4 the crucial info pliz
    thnx 4 the crucial info pliz update me more

    1. Hi Mulwa,

      Hi Mulwa,
      just keep coming back to our website, we always have plenty of new information.
      And have you found us on Facebook yet? We are Love Matters Africa

    1. Thanks Linda, we are glad to
      Thanks Linda, we are glad to hear that!

  5. Thanks i enjoy oral sex alot
    Thanks i enjoy oral sex alot more than ent others

    1. Hi Jimmy,

      Hi Jimmy,
      that’s okay! Oral sex is great, so please keep on enjoying!

  6. i lav and ma gal tew lavs it
    i lav and ma gal tew lavs it.inbox me pls

    1. Hi Bush Bee,

      Hi Bush Bee,
      that’s great to hear.
      What would you like us to inbox you about?

  7. I will sue you. Good work.
    I will sue you. Good work.

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      we are not sure what to make of this- you want to sue us but you think we are doing good work? We would like to hear more. Feel free to send an email with any complaints or concerns to [email protected]

  8. i lyk givin tho never got a
    i lyk givin tho never got a girl to give me one nwe lyk the article

    1. Hi Mbuguah,

      Hi Mbuguah,
      have you talked to girls about it? Some are shy, or don’t really know what to do.

  9. Oral sex is healthy an so
    Oral sex is healthy an so sweet to those who know it . Hav done it severally an my girl enjoys it an reach climax . Dont try with a sensitive partinar .

    1. Hi Justus,

      Hi Justus,
      that’s great!
      You can even do it with a sensitive partner- you just need to adjust your technique.

  10. I love it… its extremely
    I love it… its extremely woow.. meks ma chic to cum one mie n lyk dat Cox its a sign of total satisfaction..

    1. Hi Lamech,

      Hi Lamech,
      thank you for your comment!

  11. Thanks for that en i must gv
    Thanks for that en i must gv a try to oral sex*

    1. Hi Dennis,

      Hi Dennis,
      sure, go ahead and give it a try! Let us know how it goes or if you have any more questions!

  12. i prefer oral sexs it arose
    i prefer oral sexs it arose me

    1. Hi Tabby,

      Hi Tabby,
      that’s a very common thing. Many people. especially women, have easier orgasms with oral sex.

  13. Sound nice,but one ting I dnt
    Sound nice,but one ting I dnt get it, how do we use protection on oral sex

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      really good question.
      For men, it’s easy: use condoms.
      For women, there are so-called dental dams that you can use. They are quite difficult to get though. What you can do instead is take a condom, cut the tip off and then cut it open so you have a square. That you can put over the vagina as a dental dam replacement.
      Hope this helps!

    1. Hi Win One,

      Hi Win One,
      thanks so much, we are glad it’s interesting! Please come back soon!

  14. the sweetest thing av eva
    the sweetest thing av eva done…thanx to ma beau…she encouraged me…av neva regretd!

    1. Hi Dun,

      Hi Dun,
      that’s great! Keep experimenting!

    1. You are most welcome, Lidya!
      You are most welcome, Lidya!
      Keep coming back for more!

  15. thank you for these great
    thank you for these great ideas en’ advice…good work keep it up…

    1. Hi Dunxon,

      Hi Dunxon,
      we will do our very best to continue posting interesting articles. Keep coming back for more!

  16. Crucial informatin en very
    Crucial informatin en very informative to us. great work en kudoz

    1. We are so glad to hear that!
      We are so glad to hear that! Thank you!

  17. i just love this ,keepup.
    i just love this ,keepup.

    1. Thanks Robbie, we will try
      Thanks Robbie, we will try our very best!
      Have you likes Love Matters Kenya on Facebook yet?

  18. i have just done it right now
    i have just done it right now,mwaaah!

  19. Nice 1. But cant som1 be
    Nice 1. But cant som1 be afected by disease thru lickin d pussy?

    1. Hi there,

      Hi there,
      just like with any other sexual contact, there is a risk of getting STDs from oral sex, no matter if you are a man or a woman.
      Ideally, you will have one partner and you are both tested for STDs before you have any kind of sex. Then you won’t have to worry about STDs during oral sex.
      In any other case, men should wear a condom when having oral sex performed on them.
      For women, it’s a bit more difficult. There are so-called dental dams that can be used, but they are difficult to come by. So what you can do is cut off the tip of the condom, and cut it open sideways, so you have one single sheet you can put over the areas you are going to lick and pay oral attention to.
      Does this make sense? Let us know if you have any other questions!

  20. Hey guys you are doing a
    Hey guys you are doing a great job, keep it up. i have a question though, sometime back i received a ‘blow job’ (without a condom) from a woman and then proceeded to have protected sex, i later heard she was HIV+ & i took PEP within 72hrs for the next 28 days.After 28 days HIV test was HIV- and although i was to be tested again after 3 and 6 months to be sure of my status.8 months later, i have never gone for testing because i am scared. What is the likely hood of being HIV+ given the above honest turn of events & do i have any reason to be scared? Where can i get a vct in the cbd?

    1. Hi Damian,

      Hi Damian,
      somehow, your question seem to have slipped through our cracks, that’s why we didn’t reply in a timely manner. Sorry about that!
      The answer the easiest part of your question first: we recommend LVCT in the CBD. You can find more information, like opening hours and location, in our ‘find a clinic’ tool.
      Regarding your other question, the chance of you being HIV+ is really low. You only had oral sex- unless she had wounds in her mouth, there is a very small chance of even transmitting HIV with a blow job. Then, you were on PEP within a perfect timeframe, and your 4 week test was negative. You have very little to worry about. But for your peace of mind, please get tested soon. You will feel better afterwards! Hope this helps!

  21. U guys ar doin a great job, I
    U guys ar doin a great job, I luv dis cz it turns me on xo easily, but wat z likely 2 apen if d condom gets burst

    1. Hey Precious,

      Hey Precious,
      thanks for the praise!
      Do you mean the condom bursting during vaginal sex or during oral sex?

  22. i love giving my guy blowjobs
    i love giving my guy blowjobs and he likes it so much thanks so much for this information

    1. You are most welcome, Susan!
      You are most welcome, Susan!

  23. Thank you so much for that
    Thank you so much for that informative piece…

  24. Dats da best way to mk ma
    Dats da best way to mk ma chick orgasm for me. She jst love n Í love t too I mean we rlly enjoy

    1. Thanks for sharing! Keep it
      Thanks for sharing! Keep it up.

  25. You realy help so many
    You realy help so many relationships.especially this help in marriagies to make a strong bond btn the couples.for sure poor sex kills relationships easily

  26. Hea! pple ur doing a nice job
    Hea! pple ur doing a nice job continue with that spirit.

  27. better be safe than sore
    better be safe than sore throats…. never and ts not even nice licking en sucking…. gosh! what has the world brought to this land

    1. If you are worried about
      If you are worried about cleanliness, you can always use condoms and dental dams.

  28. I’m scared of the taste of
    I’m scared of the taste of her fluids from down there!

    1. Don’t be, there is nothing
      Don’t be, there is nothing wrong with it! And you can always fashion a dental dam out of a condom!

  29. I luv it nd my partner on de
    I luv it nd my partner on de other way das not like it cos when eva I do it for her she try stoping me cos I see dat she feels it tooo much but will not allow me do it for her

    1. Pole, Samuel. Some people
      Pole, Samuel. Some people just don’t like it. Maybe you can start just doing a little at a time.

  30. Dats a gud lesson i lov n
    Dats a gud lesson i lov n enjoy oral sex

  31. I do like this article, i
    I do like this article, i ‘ve learnt more abt oral sex.

    1. We are glad to hear that!
      We are glad to hear that!

  32. me I believe oral sex is good
    me I believe oral sex is good although my patner believes it unhealthy thanks love matter for your advice.

    1. Maybe you can convince her to
      Maybe you can convince her to try it by showing her this article?

  33. thanks alot for the info but
    thanks alot for the info but my fiance hates me going down on him,he cant last for two minutes,he is poor on the bed but i love him,advice please

    1. Sex is about communication as
      Sex is about communication as much as the actual act. Talk to him. Tell him what you need and want and ask him what to do for him. Suggest new things- he might have been told all his life that oral is bad, so it may take some time to get him to be more adventurous.

  34. i hv a qstn need sam advice
    i hv a qstn need sam advice am in love with this great lady bt we hav had sex once she was a virgin,we hv been datin for a yr nd half.she wont agree to hav sex again bcause she feels she is betraying her faith nd blief of sex after marriage.i love her soo much nd i dnt knw wat to do after i had her say tht because t realy killed my spirit wen i had this.am nt saying sex is a neccesity in this relatshp bt again am a man nd i feel we shud b enjoying the fruit of our love through sex.pliz advice

    1. You need to talk to her.

      You need to talk to her.
      See if there are other things you can do together, like mutual masturbation, that will satisfy you without betraying her faith.

  35. i love oral sex bcoz i have a
    i love oral sex bcoz i have a partner who is awesome in the art of blowjob

  36. i enjoy oral sex alot est
    i enjoy oral sex alot est when my cock is sucked, whoo!

    1. Thanks for sharing, Bobby!
      Thanks for sharing, Bobby!

  37. Gud job i do have alot of fun
    Gud job i do have alot of fun when havin oralsex wid ma husband..Keep it up #lovematter

  38. Hi..I Have A Problem; It’s
    Hi..I Have A Problem; It’s Like I’m Developing Total Affection Towards My Fellow Boy Whom We Do Live With In The Same House. We’ve Been As Well Masturbating And The More We Do It The More I Feel Him; I’d Prefer Telling Him About The Blow Job As Well But Both Of Us Are Really Afraid To Discuss Such Issues; Am I Really Okay Or Is There Sth Wrong With Me Esp By Having That Much Affection Towards Fellow Boy? Need Help Plz..

    1. Kim,

      Kim,
      Have you talked to him about this? What does he feel?

  39. I love to have it one day but
    I love to have it one day but my babe always turn me down whenever i ask her for it.

    1. Is she enjoying it when you
      Is she enjoying it when you do it to her?

    2. Is she enjoying it when you
      Is she enjoying it when you do it to her?

  40. Wow, thumbs up guys, u mean u
    Wow, thumbs up guys, u mean u can get a bj while in a condom n haha… Flavourd ones wow. Thanks guyz have to try esp 69 hahahahaaa……..

  41. doing sex orally is my
    doing sex orally is my pleasure i like it very much. what’s the side effect of oral sex

    1. As long as you do it safely,
      As long as you do it safely, with a condom or dental dam, there are no real side effects.

  42. Writing like yours inspires
    Writing like yours inspires me to gain more knowledge on this subject. I appreciate how well you have stated your views within this informational venue.

    1. Thank you for your kind words
      Thank you for your kind words!

  43. Hi…
    Hi
    wouw I just love it . Plz kp on updating me more.

    1. Keep it here for more…
      Keep it here for more Maureen.

  44. You are helping many me…
    You are helping many me inclusive thanks

    1. We are glad and you are…
      We are glad and you are welcome.

  45. I wanted to find out that it…
    I wanted to find out that it is ok, and pleasurable to suck on his balls. I love extending his pleasure after he cums, and after I can move, to start sucking/licking his cock and balls.

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