Banana and condensed milk, representing ejaculation
Shutterstock

I want my erection to stay harder for longer

By Anonymous Wednesday, March 6, 2019 - 12:13
I want my penis to stay erect longer. And I want it to be harder. Like really strong! What do I do?

Why?

The first thing you need to do is to ask you why. Do you think something is wrong and your penis isn’t hard enough, or you can’t go as long as you want?
It could be that there is a problem: you could either struggle with premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.

Penis problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) means that you either can’t get an erection or your erection doesn’t last long. ED is a sexual dysfunction that people also call ‘impotence’. It can affect men of all ages, even though most men who have problems are older. In recent years, more and more young men have been developing issues in this department.

Premature ejaculation (PE) means that you come earlier than you would like to. It's really common. PE may result from both physical and psychological problems, though it is usually difficult to find a clearly discernable cause.

There are things you can do with both PE and erectile dysfunction. Check out our tips on overcoming ED and PE.

Or is everything normal?

But chances are everything is actually okay. Expectations, and particularly porn, make many men feel insecure about their abilities in bed. Don’t rush through sex: it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

You don’t have to go through four, five, or even more rounds a night to be a good lover.

Men who aren't quite sure how to be good lovers often look for quick fixes and think that this will make a difference to them, and, even more importantly, to their sex partners.
But here’s a secret: to be good in bed, you don’t need to have the hardest, biggest, longest-lasting boner in the world.

The solution

What really matters are that you are in sync with your partner. Do you understand what they want? Spend time talking about what you both like and dislike and listen!

Take your time during foreplay and look out for your partner’s reactions. Women need much longer to get aroused than men do, so take your time. But regardless of who you are sleeping with, taking it slow is always a good idea. And then, once you are both satisfied and had a good time, don’t just turn around and fall asleep. Have what’s called ‘afterplay’: cuddle, talk, and enjoy each other’s company.

I guarantee you: you and your partner being in sync is far more important than a hard, long-standing erection.


Do you have questions about great, pleasurable sex? Our discussion board moderators are ready for all your queries.

Comments

Hi Ken, the solution is depended upon the cause of the erectile dysfunction. It can be caused by either psychological issues or physical issues. It is important that you consider seeking medical advice and treatment as necessary. Have a look at the following articles for additional information;- 

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/erectile-dysfunction-top-five-facts

https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/erectile-dysfunction-what-to-do

When me and girlfriend are in bed we do romance I always hard till we finish romance. But this particular day bcos she is a virgin a took a harbal mixture to increase my strength and body painkiller drug but when we start to be having sex I don't hard again. Pls I need a solution to this

Hi Steve, it is difficult for me to determine what could have happened since you took herbal treatment and its effect on your body. Also, if it only happened when you took the herbal medicine, it is perhaps the herbs that did this. Try not taking the herbs to see what happens.  

For me to statify my virgin babe and to prove to her that am capable, I took a herbalmisture and Ibucap body painkiller. To my surprise I notice that at the first my penis is hard but at some point it just continue to come down. Can it be the painkiller drug I use.

Hey Sammy, usually one will loose their erection soon after ejaculating. If this doesn't happen for your, it means you can continue to have sex. This can be a good thing since you may find that you and your partner will not climax at the same time. If you are however having an erection that last so long that you begin to experience pain, it maybe important that you seek medical advice. Check out this article;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/difficulties-with-sex-men  

Hi Ayomi, there is little you can do to increase your penis size with permanent results. The products in the market do not work. What might work is getting a surgery done but even this will come with the risk of many complications. Having said that, having a larger penis doesn't make one a better lover. What is likely to make one a better lover is understanding the needs of their partner  by talking with them about sex. Most women will prefer an extended session of foreplay as opposed to a short one and this makes them enjoy the entire experience better. Have a look at this article for additional information;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/our-bodies/male-body/penis-size-myths-busted

Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>