We have found the one thing that freaks out the average male – erectile dysfunction. Now erectile dysfunction, simply put, is the inability to get or maintain any sort of erection before or during sexual activity, and needs to be looked at by a doctor. What you’re suffering suffering from, phases of lesser erections could be due to so many other reasons. Let’s discuss a few…
Let’s begin from the beginning. 'It’s so embarrassing!' You have said it two times in four sentences, so first you better try and get over that. If it makes you so ashamed of yourself, it means a few things to me.
The first one – is your identity defined by how many times the flag is hoisted in a day? Is your identity erection dependent? Hopefully not! So get over the 'so embarrassing' 'it’s not happening' rut. It’s okay, it’s a phase, chill.
Now, while alcohol may increase desire, it is known to reduce performance. Are you getting a bit too much of the tipple? Responsible drinking is acceptable, but if it is over the top it may be impacting your performance in various ways.
Smoking, oh ho terrible habit that, and has an effect on maintaining erections. And by the way, smokers, if your partners are still making out with you despite this habit, they must really be into you. It’s not very charming to kiss a smelly mouth!
Now, do you suffer any kind of medical problems? Diabetes? Depression? Are you taking any medication? Ok then, what about tiredness? Fatigue? Just plain exhaustion? All good enough causes for nothing staying up.
It's time for a lifestyle chang. Come on, you can do it! Get out those walking shoes, grab your partner and off you both go for a walk and a small run. Maybe get a yoga instructor, maybe grab a film once in a while and definitely make a date night! Just talk about fun things and people – simple pleasures. Host a party, socialise, etc... There’s a lot to look forward to. Just do not become overwhelmed by this occasional occurrence.
But, the biggest sex buster could be your relationship. If you are doing well there, then things will improve dramatically but if your relationship is going through some roller coaster moments, this is bound to happen.
So do an inventory check – are you both happy? Is everything pleasant? How are you connecting? For sure this must be a cause of some tension. How are you handling it? Are you being forever “embarrassed” or are you not bothered or for fear of not being able to get it up, you are avoiding sex and intimacy... does any of this sound familiar?
Heaps of homework
So what you need to do is relax and get over the shame. It’s awkward no doubt, but it is also a circle, I tell you. You are anxious that you won’t be able to do it and this anxiety causes further dysfunction. It happens again, it gets confirmed, you get anxious again and the cycle continues. So this cycle needs to be broken at once.
Next thing: your partner is a key player. If they are running you down, making you feel worse, making exasperated noises, that is not going to help the situation at all. So lovers of downers, pick yourself up and get your act together. Your man needs your support and vote, not your jabs and taunts!
Intimacy is the key and that definitely does not mean sex. Sex may or may not happen, worry not! You must enjoy some moments of togetherness, sweetness, laughter and even tears. Some fun food, some films, some tenderness towards each other will go a long way in bringing you close and most importantly reducing your anxiety and worry. So, yes, you have a lot to do. Good luck!